Then

Linka had just gotten out of after school detention. Apparently, Mrs. Johnson did not appreciate her listening to Preston Garvey prank calls through her earbuds during class.

Funnily enough, not only did she spend detention resuming her YouTubey merriment without disturbing a sleeping Ms. Clifford, but she also texted Girl Jordan during the whole stupid thing.

She was even saved in her contacts as "Girl Jordan," because it was just too funny not to. It was always fun thinking of new ways to belittle and demean her, even when she would virtually have no way of ever knowing about it.

Upon dismissing herself from the cold and drab windowless dungeon of a detention room (because Ms. Clifford couldn't be bothered to wake up at 4:20), she kept texting Jordan until she made it outside of the school. Claudia wasn't there that day due to having a Loki/Bebe induced panic attack, which meant two things for Linka Loud.

One, she might get away with pocketing the five bucks she still owed her

And two, it would just be her and Jordan walking home together.

Linka couldn't help but feel both excited and petrified at the prospect.

"Okay… So how will we play this? Should I just bring up the last SpongeBob meme I sent her? Should I make fun of her and say she's gay with Stella?... Maybe I'll tell her that thing Abby wrote about her… just to screw with her," she thought to herself.

"Gah! Why am I even thinking about this so much? We're just walking home together! Why do I have to be so weird?"

She was just about to respond to Jordan's last text, one of her famous Ace Savvy fan art spams, when she realized that Jordan was coming around the bend. Like… walking over to her.

While the other girl looked as cool as a proverbial cucumber, Linka had to do everything in her power not to look all wide-eyed and flustered like the total nub she was. So, she just didn't say anything at all as Jordan took her place beside her.

And Jordan… said nothing. She did nothing. She just walked. Beside her. Silently. Eyes forward.

Leaving Linka's heart and mind to race faster than Butch Hartman running away from gay thoughts.

Sweat beads started to fall from her brow as her chipped tooth chafed against her lip.

"This is… This is weird. She's just screwin' with me, right?" she thought regarding the perpetual quietness. "She's not like, mad or anything. She'd be ranting if she was. So what is this? Some like, new way to mess around?"

"Well I don't like it! It's weird! It's awkward! But if I say something, than I'll just make it weirder and awkweirder- I mean awkwarder- I mean… Gah! Why am I so awkweird?!"

Despite becoming very uncomfortable with this unique brand of adolescent angst, she played along. The only indicator she gave Jordan that any of this was bothersome were little glances from the corner of her eye, just brief enough to see her softly smiling face.

"You bitch."

Eventually, Linka devised a scheme to get back at her. Two could play at this game. In fact, she was very proud of it. It was something Levi would come up with, because it was friggin' brilliant.

While walking, Linka started staring directly at her. She just kept her eyes on her until she saw Jordan sneak in one of the same quick glances she gave her first.

"Oh, I got her now," Linka thought.

She started stepping in front on Jordan, and their feet almost collided with the peculiar side step Linka did with her normal sized feet. They were normal, dang it.

Jordan tried to act like it didn't faze her, but a little purse of the lips made it obvious she was having fun.

"Don't look at me," Linka finally said to break the silence, all while getting within inches of her face.

"What?" Jordan guffawed, failing to continue her playful pretense.

"You're looking at me. Stop it," Linka answered, an amused little smile creeping on her face.

Jordan was stunned. Linka had turned the tables on her. She was supposed to be making a fool of Linka, not the other way around.

"You're high," Jordan simply rebutted, trying to look away from Linka's piercing gaze.

"The whole point of 'don't look at me' is to not look at me. Why do you keep looking at me?" Linka teased. Every time Jordan would move her eyes though, Linka would step between their trajectory.

"You're such a nub!" Jordan cried, trying to hide the smile of her own as she shielded her eyes.

"Can't do that!" Linka blurted out. "That's cheating!"

"What? You just-?" Jordan begins before becoming flustered and uncovering her eyes. "You know, this is why nobody likes you. Or your old people feet."

"I thought I had old people hair and big people feet?" Linka snidely riposted.

Jordan soured her face. "You know, I bet they're all old and wrinkly, too."

Linka nodded. "Impressive. Not only do you spend an awful lot of time paying attention to my feet, but you'realso… still looking at me!"

Jordan raised a finger and opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Instead, she just crossed her arms, and donned a reluctant grin.

"You know what? I'll let you have this one. But only because I wanna talk about me now," she said.

"Nah girl, I won. I'm just walking these big old people feet home now," Linka teased before pretending to walk away.

Jordan didn't budge though. She just rolled her eyes with the same smile on her face as Linka turned back to rejoin her.

"Fine. I guess I'll pity walk with you so you don't feel like a loser by yourself," Linka joked.

Jordan put on a mock thinking face. "On second thought, I'd probably look cooler by myself than with you."

"Awesome. I make you look bad. Even better," Linka said back, and the two of them just smiled at each other for a moment as they continued walking side by side.

"So, what'd you wanna talk about? Linka asked, almost sincerely.

Jordan's smile waned, and her steps got slower. Linka followed suit as she realized, maybe something was wrong.

"I… I have to tell you something," Jordan began, her melancholy eyes falling to the concrete sidewalk.

"Uhm… Okay? Sure," Linka responded as her heart beat faster.

"Linka…" Jordan continued.

"Don't look at me."

A sly smile grew on her cringey face, and Linka's nervousness was replaced with the odd coupling of embarrassment and amusement.

"You're trash," Linka quipped as she tried looking away from her. Just as Linka did to her before, Jordan now did everything she could to step into her line of sight.

"You're looking at me. Stop it," she'd egg on. "I see your enormous bug eyes. Whatchu doin' fam?"

Linka just played along, trying not to look, trying not to laugh… and failing at both.

"I have something to tell you too, Girl Jordan," she followed, emphasizing the demeaning 'Girl' label. "Vampires hate you. Griselda told me."

"Oof. At least I don't talk to vampire busts," Jordan joked back, still trying to make Linka look at her.

"Just creepy drawings and stories from internetz loserz?" Linka riposted, still trying not to look back.

"No genderbent fan art for you, now," Jordan said. "I talked to Lars. Your brothers hate you. Your parents hate you. And they want you to live outside so they can sell your furniture."

"Gasp!" Linka said aloud. "Can I have Ol' Sloshie?"

"Nerp. I needz him since we won't be friends no more."

"Says something gay about how you admitted we're friends," Linka joked, still trying to evade Jordan's eyes. "And why are you talking to Lars? Do you like eight year old boys?"

Jordan soured again. Linka wasn't losing steam yet. "At least Lars doesn't always look at me."


Now

Linka's reminiscing was halted by the feeling of the bus coming to a screeching stop. She was lucky enough to have her grip on the handrail, or she and her textbooks would all be falling to the floor.

The strangers around her begin filing out of the bus, and she convalesces enough to regain her bearings and join them all in exiting.

Upon stepping her sleek new high tops on the pavement, the ones that match her Ace Savvy jacket, she can't help but lose herself for a moment. Maybe it's because her busy day at the academy drained her and just made it hard to think, or maybe it has something to do with how she's still adjusting to the pace of Great Lakes City. Either way, she has to shake herself of her fish out of water mentality and get with the program. Groceries won't buy themselves, unfortunately.

What really stinks is, it's already going on 5:00pm, and her dorm is another two bus rides away. So much for going home and taking it easy, but alas… all she had were corn chips and expired bread and milk at the house- er, room. Even if she wanted to try and fuel herself on nothing but Fritos for the next day, it simply wasn't feasible.

That, and she just loved food too much. It didn't help that she dreamed about pop tarts last night either. Jordan was right, she was a fatty.

Jordan… Linka had thought about her a lot today for some reason. It had been four years since they seen each other, Linka recalls as she walks through the other pedestrians on her way to the market. They promised to stay in touch, but… that just didn't happen.

It sucked, too. Jordan was a really great friend. Sure, they got into a fist fight over who was cooler between Goku and Vegeta when they were twelve, but that only made their bond stronger.

That was… 2017. Yeah. Six years already.

"Dang…" Linka uttered to herself.

She sighs. She misses Jordan. And right now, she misses her family in Royal Woods. But they were all going to Lynn's latest lacrosse game in Hazeltucky, and she had already texted, called, and video chatted everyone in the family at least once today. She was even starting to annoy herself.

She misses Claudia too, but she's at her weekly appointment with Dr. Lopez. God bless that woman. She kept little Ms. McBride her level headed valedictorian self in even the toughest of times.

Really, Linka just feels alone, hungry, and all around crummy. And the worst part is...

It's only Monday.

Luckily enough, she finds herself approaching the market, and it's just seven after five.

"Good. I might be able to make it home in time to… eat a tub of ice cream and cry myself to sleep…" she only somewhat jokingly thinks to herself.

She steps inside the store, and looks through her purse for her grocery list. She was the weirdo that hand-wrote a list instead of saving a note in her phone, mostly because she didn't trust herself not to run it dead in trig class. Which… was the case today.

"I should save a little battery at least. Just in case someone tries to call," she wistfully thinks.

She shakes her head as she finds herself a cart. "Come on Linka… Try and think positive thoughts at least. Things aren't so bad," she says aloud, earning herself a strange look from an older gentleman. She just nervously smiles at him though, and he just scowls as he goes on his way. She does the same.

She tries to focus on her menial shopping and not how tired and lonely she is, which provides a well enough distraction, actually. Fancy that!

In fact, she actually finds herself sort of smiling and humming along to the song faintly playing over the PA system. Dang, she really wished she knew the name of the song too.

It was such a nice song… From the shredding of two guitars dropped to their lowest tunings, the conviction of compunction in the singer's voice…

"Oh! There it is!" she blurts out as they break into chorus. She can't help but sing along.

"I can see it as you turn to stone, still clearly I can hear you say- don't please, don't give up on me, two weeks and you ran away!"

More strange looks, this time from two sketchy looking, tall, muscular girls.

"I doubt they go to GLA," she thinks as she decides to clam up and focus again on her shopping.

As she goes down the frozen foods aisle, she looks into her purse for the aforementioned shopping list. It somehow got lost in the confines of the seemingly bottomless bag, and she has to burrow through like some sort of-

"Bun Bun?" she voices as she discovers her favoritest stuffed bunny hiding in the bag. "How did you get in there?" she asks as she pulls her out by her lucky foot.

She hears some snickering, and turns around to see Old Man Scoots. The gimp laughs into his hand, and shakes his head as he scoots himself along.

Linka just frowns as she places Bun Bun safely back inside her bag. "Don't worry about him, Bun Bun," she tells the doll before going back on her way, hoping she can just remember what the heck she wanted to buy from here.

She doesn't even realize the two tall, muscular girls creeping a concerning distance behind her.


Linka makes her way out of the store with a hefty bag of groceries in hand. It's times like these she really wish she had a car of her own.

"What the heck is Old Man Scoots doing in Great Lakes City anyway? Dude really gets around for a… uh… supercentenarian?" she speculates.

She gets a firm grip of her bag with her right arm, and maneuvers her left hand to get her phone. Shockingly, she has no new messages. Oh well. At least shopping only took…

"Half an hour. I think that's a new record," Linka proudly thinks aloud as she reads the time.

As she puts her phone away and tightens her grip on her groceries, she can't help but feel a sort of chill run down her spine.

She turns her head to attempt a nonchalant look back, and sees two familiar faces walking a few yards behind her through the crowd of other faces. The two troublesome looking girls from the market.

She simply turns her head forward again, hoping they didn't notice her. She has pepper spray in her purse just in case something would ever happen; having five older brothers meant she'd be well educated on various forms of self-defense. Heck, Lynn Sr. even showed her how to knock someone out with a cowbell once. Granted, it was on himself, and he was concussed for a week afterwards, but still.

Nevertheless, she hoped and prayed nothing like that would ever happen, especially within her first month living on her own in the city.

So, she keeps moving forward, despite the dread she truly feels in her hammering heart, sweating palms, and tightening throat.

She turns around the bend leading to the next bus stop, and sees a cozy little waiting bench to rest herself on until 5:50.

There are two other people sitting on the bench, and they exchange soft smiles with Linka as she takes her place on the bench with them.

She takes a deep breath as she sets her bag of groceries on the ground, and then her purse. She makes sure to position it to where she could easily access her pepper spray if need be, assuming she could find it in her ridiculously spacious bag.

She looks to the where the building meets the curb, blocking any view of the sidewalk she came from. The bulky girls don't come around, thankfully.

Linka sighs, and decides it's not worth worrying about. Instead, she pulls out her phone again, haphazardly catching eye of Bun Bun resting in her purse.

"Heh, I'd still love to know how you got in there, Bunny. I guess I can always rely on you to be there for me," she thinks with a smile before turning her attention back to her phone. Still no messages, as expected, but she still needs to double check the bus schedule.

While scrolling along the page, that same familiar chill travels up her spine. She looks to the curb once again, but still, no ne'er-do-wells. And yet, she feels the chill, almost like someone is hovering over her.

She turns around, and sees the aforementioned girls towering over her. It makes her startledly jump forward, grasping her chest out of fear.

For a moment the two girls just stare at her, not even minding the other two bystanders, who apathetically keep their eyes fixed to their phones and pretend nothing is happening.

Linka just stares back with the same anxiety as before, almost too stunned to say anything.

But for better or worse, she spits out some words for the threatening strangers.

"Uh, hey guys! Wh- what's up?" she asks with a conspicuously nervous smile.

The girls smile back with deviously arching eyebrows.

"Nice Ace Savvy jacket," the one on the left comments. She is a dark complected girl with black bangs that cover her eyes similarly to Lars.

"Yeah, looks expensive," the one on the right adds. She has a mullet. It's 2023, and the chick has a mullet. Also, she's missing a tooth. But the mullet?!...

Linka tries to fix her posture in the face of the much stouter girls. It wasn't like they were definitely making fun of her. Maybe they were sincere?

Maybe they just want to compliment her style as they wait for the bus?

"Uh… thanks?" she musters out. "I think I saw some in your size at the mall. You wear an extra large, right?" she asks, cramming her foot in her mouth and realizing all too late.

The comment does not amuse them. They step forward towards Linka, imposing their much scarier stature over her. Without another word, Mullet snatches her purse as Bangs stonewalls her.

"Hey! Put that down!" Linka cries.

"Can it, granny. Your mommy and daddy can just buy you a new one," Bangs sneers.

Mullet queerly eyes the purse upon picking it up though, much to her companion's chagrin.

"Dude? What are you doing?" she bluntly asks.

"Is this…?" she voices as she pulls out Bun Bun by her foot.

The two girls meet each other's eyes before directing them back to the dismayed Linka.

Then, they burst into laughter.

It's bad enough the intimidating girls have her livelihood and her only line of defense hostage, but now they're laughing at her about Bun Bun while the other two benchwarmers do nothing to help.

Not much gets to Linka, but she has to draw a line somewhere.

"Give that back. Now!" she sternly demands.

Mullet and Bangs both scowl at the snowy haired teen. What sudden confidence she projected escapes her, and her fight reflex gives way to her flight reflex as they each get within inches of her face.

"Oh yeah? What are you gonna do if we don't?" Bangs says with a snarling sneer.

Linka is paralyzed as she meets her eyes- or bangs really. But she catches just the faintest movement from the corner of her eye, and looks to Mullet.

The muscled broad wraps one hand around Bun Bun's arm, and another around her leg. Then, she begins to tug, all while wearing a similarly sinister smile.

"Stop!" Linka yells, tears welling in her eyes now.

"Heh heh… Sorry, Bunny. You're just making it hard to find the good stuff," the bully quips.

"Yeah, seriously. Next purse you buy, maybe get one with more compartments," Bangs comments, which just annoys her literal partner in crime.

"Just shut up and grab the bag too. Food is food," Mullet orders.

"Why are you doing this?! I didn't even do anything to you?!" Linka cries.

"You're an easy target. Deal with it," Mullet answers.

"Yeah. Welcome to Great Lakes, loser," Bangs adds.

Mullet turns her attention back to Bun Bun, studying her with that wickedly evil grin, and…

"Hey!"

The parties all divert their attention to the source of the voice, stopping in their tracks.

A girl with a yellow T-shirt, blue skirt, knee high socks, and a familiar french braid is running over. It takes a moment for Linka to recognize her with all of her endorphins racing, but she captures the stranger's face soon enough.

"Jordan?"

Somehow, someway, Girl freakin' Jordan was here. Much like Linka, she aged well. She was just a little taller, a little more womanly, and probably had a few new things to make fun of after four years.

She's racing over with a look on her face very much akin to the days of playing dodgeball in Coach Packowski's gym class, and she practically ignores the passing cars as she makes her way over to the group and steps right between Linka and the bullies.

Linka's jaw drops.

It's really her. It's really Girl Jordan.

"Get your hands off of Bun Bun!" Jordan yells at the skeevy chicks.

The girls just meet her with confused eyebrow raises, "Bun Bun?"

Jordan takes the moment to turn to Linka with a little smile. "Hi Linka," she casually greets before reverting her attention to the hostiles.

And all Linka can do is watch, tee-totally dumbfounded.

They shake themselves of their disbelief, clenching their fists and gritting their teeth at their challenger.

"You better take a hike if you know what's good for you, skeeter bites," Bangs taunts.

"Skeeter bites?" Jordan repeats before glancing at her bosom, and then angrily guffawing at the girls. "Listen here, Thelma and Louise; give us the bunny, and no one gets hurt."

Bangs laughs, but Mullet just sourly frowns. "Oh yeah? Big bet," she audaciously states.

Jordan narrows her eyes, and presses her hand against Linka's chest to scoot her away a few inches. "Stay back."

The taller girl takes a deep breath… then, she lets out a "Eeeyah!" as she jumps in the air and throws a spinning savate kick that connects with Mullet's jaw.

It's easily the coolest ding dang thing Linka's ever witnessed in her life, so much so that she really can't bring herself to react in any way, shape, or form that isn't standing there with her jaw agape.

Bangs does the same as Mullet falls to her knees, holding her tender cheek. As sick as Jordan's kick was, it only proved to be effective in stunning the girl.

Jordan belatedly grabs a hold of Bun Bun and tosses her at Linka. "Linka!" she shouts, and the white haired Loud is able to, from instinct alone, catch her stuffed bunny.

She meets Jordan with doe eyes, and finds that she is quickly snatching up the coveted bottomless purse.

"Run!" Jordan yells as her brown eyes meet Linka's, and with the grace of god, she is able to take the words to heart, and does as she was told.

She looks back at the bullies, and sees Bangs tending to Mullet, who is still on her knees.

"Go!" Mullet commands Bangs as she takes her time recovering, and Bangs makes like a banana and splits.

It's all happening so fast: the bullies, the Bun Bun, the purse, the Girl Jordan…

But even with all that, she's able to remember that her bag of groceries got left behind.

"My food, Jordan! I forgot my food!" Linka cries while following the other running girl.

"Worry about your ketchup chips later!" Jordan retorts, fleeing to only-she-knows where.

Linka just follows her, up until the girl with the French braid suddenly stops in front of a filthy white sedan. Linka bumps into her, staggering her a little.

"Yeesh, girl! I see you again for five seconds and you're already trying to cuddle?!" Jordan quips and she whips out a set of keys from her pocket.

She presses a button on its fob to unlock the car doors, and the sound of the locks releasing confirms their access to enter.

They both look back the direction they came, and see Bangs and Mullet still chasing after them. Serendipitously for the weaker duo, traffic has gotten busier, and it's slowing the bigger girls down.

"Linka!" Jordan hollers again, breaking her old friend from her trance. Linka looks back to meet her widened eyes. "Get in the car!"

Linka comes to, and hurries into the passenger side of the car. Both girls slam their doors behind them upon entering, and very soon after, Bangs and Mullet catch up.

They both slam against the driver's side window, peering inside with devilish expressions and growls through their teeth.

Jordan hurriedly locks the doors, and places the keys in the ignition to get the vehicle started.

The motor revs up, and Jordan turns to face Linka.

"Are you okay?" she intently asks her.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Linka alertedly answers back.

"Good," Jordan simply responds before turning her attention to the windshield and fastening her seat belt. "Strap yourself in, Ace. We're getting out of here faster than a Roseanne cancellation."

Linka quickly gets herself buckled in, just in time too. Because almost immediately after she hears the sound of the belt clicking, Jordan smashes her foot down on the pedal of the car, speeding away from the scene and leaving the two deviant damsels in the dust.

The white haired girl looks out the back windshield at the two troublemakers. They're shaking their fists and having an all around conniption, which makes it all the more satisfying when Mullet trips over own feet trying to shove Bangs.

A little smile curves on the middle Loud sibling's face, and she turns back around to face forward. She eyes the stuffed bunny in her hand. Despite Mullet's needless cruelty to the doll, no visible harm seems to have been done. Another reason to smile.

She then looks to her side as she feels something brush up against her rib. It's her purse, the one with virtually everything important to her inside. Money, her license, her keys to her dorm… Another reason to smile.

Finally, she looks to the woman driving the car. And the driver looks back to her. She smiles, and actually lets out a laugh.

"Dang, Linka. You're even uglier than the last time I saw you," Jordan says.

Another reason to smile.


Hey there. Thanks a whole bunch for reading this.

Okay, so one thing I want to make clear is that, with this version of the genderbent universe, only Girl Jordan and Mr. and Mrs. Loud aren't swapped. Everyone else is though. Clear as mud? Good. I mean… What would Genderbent Boy Jordan even look like? Guffaw.

Follow eX3corez on Tumblr. Dude does some of the best TLH art, and does the best Linkas. Her look here was inspired by him.

So, I've wanted to do something with Linka for a while now, and I finally came up with an idea I can sink my teeth into. (Where have I heard that joke before? Probably best to forget…)

Anyway, I also wanted to do something yuri and fluff filled to commemorate my one year anniversary with the fandom, so this is what I came up with. Something sentimental and full of feels.

I also wanna thank Sesquipedalian Numeral for beta reading this thing and helping me make it less garbage than it was. Now it's certified fresh on Lincoln Tomatoes, and it's thanks to him.

Last thing, the song referenced was "Two Weeks" by All That Remains. Sick song.

Thanks again for reading. And know that I actually will finish this thing haha. That's a Pillow promise, and you guys know I don't break promises.

Anyway, thanks again, and I hope you will stay tuned:)