Thanks to teacup_of_doom and rusting_roses for beta-reading and general awesomeness.
This isn't a particularly Ward-friendly fic: he creeps me out. If that's not your cup of tea, this is your warning.
It took him…a while, to pull himself back together after everything that happened with Garrett and Centipede. He'd never had his world pulled out from under him quite like that before, and without the offering of an anchor he floundered. Badly.
That he managed to attempt suicide four times despite being in custody was in its own way testament to the excellent work SHIELD and HYDRA had done training him. He'd have been amused, at the time, if he'd had he energy.
He was never quite sure when the epiphany hit him: simply waiting around for a purpose would no longer be enough - he would have to simply find his own. And then the perfect solution occurred and he couldn't believe he hadn't thought of it sooner. Her. He'd loved Skye even as Garrett's right hand, what better use for his life and loyalty than to devote himself to her?
It would be different, of course, than what he'd been for Garrett. Garrett was capable of taking care of himself, all he'd needed to be was a loyal operative, but for Skye? She was tough, gutsy and smart, but she needed the benefit of his experience in the field, of his connections. A bodyguard at minimum, a protector. Someone she could trust to have her six, to smooth her way where possible.
The memory of her face when she'd screamed at him for being HYDRA, for lying to the team, was distressing, and he swore he'd never lie to her again. She'd get nothing but truth from him, and once she'd seen how useful he could be to her things could be better. They'd never go back to how they'd been, he wasn't that naive, but… better than they currently were, that he could believe in.
But he was getting ahead of himself. For any of that to happen, he had to be in better condition than he was now. Skye deserved better than the half-broken, crazed thing he'd let himself become.
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
Leaning against his desk, watching the large screen currently showing the feed from Ward's cell, Coulson frowned. In the cell, Ward was doing push-ups. The audio was muted, but the camera angle caught the movement of Ward's lips as he counted. When he reached his designated number, Ward held position for a minute, then lithely flipped over and began doing crunches.
"Watching him again?"
Coulson turned to see May in the doorway, and waved her in. "His mental state's improving. Time was he spent his days curled in a ball, barely moving to eat or drink."
"Mmmm. Questioning him's gotten both more and less difficult. Less, because he's actually coherent most of the time, and more because he's started pushing again."
"Losing Garrett damaged him," Coulson agreed, studying the feed. "Without that authority figure he was drifting - I suspect he's found another purpose by now."
"It'll be Skye." At Coulson's raised eyebrows, May elaborated. "He was utterly gone on her by the hunt for Nash, and he apparently spent his share of time after taking her from Providence trying to convince her of the fact."
"Really?"
"I'm not blind, Coulson. And besides, I'm her SO now, she tells me things."
"Good. Keep an eye on that for me, would you?"
"You think it'll become an issue?"
"I have no intention of letting Grant Ward loose," Coulson said levelly, eyes focused on Ward, still doing crunches in his cell. "But at this rate, he'll clam up sooner rather than later, and it may come down to Skye having to get information from him."
A/N: A short attempt to dip into the murky waters of Ward's psyche, periodically unnerving myself with what I find along the way.
