The Ed of Mexico
By EvilEd & superD188
IMPORTANT
To find a chapter quick, press CRTL + F. Type in the chapter title. For example, ' 2. Trapped' then, press ENTER twice. You will be at the chapter title.
IMPORTANT
Disclamer: I do not own Ed, Edd n Eddy.
Author's Notes: Me (EvilEd) and superD188 decided to work on a fic together. So, here it is!
CHAPTER 1 (EvilEd): PEACH CREEK?
MEXICAN'S LAIR, MEXICO 2:43AM, TUESDAY
"Sire!" the short fat servant, Trakata cried as he stared at the map of the world. "I believe I've found the Super Secret Marker!" he rushed over to his master, sitting in his chair, Cubracata. "WHAT!" the great Mexican cried as he turned around madly. Trakata stumbled back several feet and falling over at the cry of his angry master. Trakata picked up the map and approached him slowly, shivering at his madness. "I..I believe...its in...uhh...Peach Creek?" The short servant reached up to show him. "Hmm...you could be right" said the great master softly, but then he narrowed his eyes"..but how do you know?" he said angerly as he pounded his fist on his table, pratictally breaking it. "Well...umm...careful research." the soft, large, scared Trakata said. "With WHAT!" he jumped out of his chair in front of Trakata he softly kicked him "You short runt." taunted the large Cubracata. "St-stay right here m-m-master!" startled the small Trakata. He ran out, but about 5 minutes later be came back with a book as large as Cubracata. "Here master!" shouted Trakata,who is now tired from pushing the book. "GIVE ME THAT!" he yelled, and yanked the book from him. He read the title out loud "The Long and Boring Guide to Finding the Last Super Secret Marker."He looked up from the book, with his jaw widely open. He looked at Trakata. "WHERE did YOU get a THING like THIS?" he pointed to the book. "I traded it from King Tuckyashirtin for a string.." he said scardly. Then he backed into the corner. "Read the small print on page 10,819." Cubracata narrowed his eyes, then he gained a sly smile and slammed the book on his table, which broke it. "AGGGH!" He slammed his fist on the floor, "Uhh...Master, please don't be upset!" coweredly cried Trakata. Cubracata calmed down, then he picked up the book and started flipping through the pages
3 YEARS LATER ...
"10,817...10,818...10,819! FINALLY!" cried Cubracata with joy for one of the first few times ever. He picked up a enlarged magnfying glass as big as the book, centered it in the top left corner in the page and read what it said. "The Last Super Secret Marker is in Peach Creek. And if you fall for this, you are the most gulliable person EVER! Sucker!" Then he started to go into rage. But before that, Trakata spoke up proudly. "But read the bold print thats clearly stated on the back of the book. Cubracata calmed down, then he picked up the book and looked at the back. "The hidden words on page 10,819 are true. Except the last 14 words." Cubracata dropped the book, looked up and laughed evily. "Trakata! Get the air car ready, have it set a course for Peach Creek, CA. We are going to find that marker..." he continued to laugh. But then he stopped. "Oops, my eyebrows.." he picked up a sharpie and drew fancy eyebrows, then he put it down and continued to laugh, as though nothing happened. But just that moment, Trakata scrapples up to Cubracata. "Sire, the air car quit." he said. "WHAT! HE QUIT! AFTER 25 YEARS OF SERVING ME?" Cubracata was so mad he broke the marker. "Put him on screen." Trakata ran out of the room, a short burst of static is heard, then a holographic screen comes up in the air car's garage. "I QUIT!" screamed the air car. "I QUIT! I'M TIRED, AND MY GAS METER IS ALMOST EMPTY! I QUIT!" just then, the air car flew away. "YOU CAN'T QUIT! I WON YOU AT THE SCIENCE FAIR! AGGGH! Fine. Start up the clown car. I'm going to find my shrink-o-meter."
SEGMENT ONE END
Segment 2: Somewhere on Highway 54EAST, 4:43AM
"GO FASTER! And for God's sake, DRIVE IN A LANE! DON'T SWERVE ALL OVER THE HIGHWAY! We'll get hit!" screamed Cubracata into Trakata's ear. "Calm down, sir! After all, there's nothing to hit. This highway is deserted..." said Trakata. "Yes I know but...LOOK OUT FOR THAT STREETLIGHT!" Cubracata pointed to the streetlight about 2 feet away. "AHHH!" Trakata tried to steer out of the way, but too late, they hit it and the engine started smoking. "You. Are. Such. An...IDIOT!" screamed Cubracata. He grabbed a loose tire and threw it backwards across the highway. Trakata went to get it. When he came back, he said "Well, you could have just gotten your bigify-o-meter and make the clown car bigger." The sound of glass breaking is heard. "Darnit! You were right...but why didn't you tell me?" asked Cubracata "Because you would pick me up and strangle me and say that's a bad idea." cried Trakata. "You are right...but what can we do NOW!" screamed Cubracata. A loud, disgusting sound is heard. "Sorry, master. I had beans last night." "That wasn't you. That was the car. Turn around..." Trakata turned around to find the hood open and the engine flat like a pancake. "It was air-powered, I suppose...like one of those plastic floats you find in a pool." explained Trakata. "The air must have been let out..." "So, Trakata, what do we do?" asked Cubracata. "The transmission is shot, I suppose." said Trakata "But if it's shot, it can be replaced with..." "With What! SPIT IT OUT BOY! Our lives are at stake, my feet are killing me," complained Cubracata "and I'm hungry..." he picked up a dried up leaf and ate it. Trakata picked up "The Clown Car Manual For Dopes like YOU" and read it "It says here that if the transmission is shot..." he started "Yes?" Cubracata said anxiously. "You need to..." "YES!" "...scream and run around the car..." "NO!" Trakata dropped the book and started running around in circles.
"AHHHH! GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF! AHHH! ITS THE THING WITH WINGS FROM HADES!" cried the yellow-skinned butter toast loving boy, Ed. The one of the three dudes in the Cul-de-sac, the one without a brain. Big buffed, Ed. He loves monster movies. In fact, his obsession of monster movies once caused BIG problems. "Calm down, Ed! It's only a butterfly!" cried the sockhead, Edd. This guy is the brains of the trio. He helps with the scams and all of the experiments with the Eds. He wears a removable sock under his head. But no one knows whats under it. Moving along with Eddy, who only had 3 hairs. Eddy is the leader of the trio. He comes up with all the scams, decides what they do and everything else. Basically, Edd and Ed are dependent on Eddy. on his head. "Ahahaha! Hey monobrow, why don't you eat it? I mean, it IS a butterfly!" then Ed stopped, he grabbed the butterfly and stared at it. "Butter..." He reached into his pocket and pulled out two pieces of stale bread and toothpaste. He put toothpaste on the bread, and put the butterfly on one piece, put the other piece on top and ate the whole thing in one bite. Eddy falls over in his beach chair with his legs in the air laughing, and Edd held his fingers in front of his mouth, as though he was going to throw up. Eddy then sat up and said "You gotta love him!" he went back to laughing. "Mmm, butter. Uhh hey guys, I feel funny." Eddy sat up again and said "Well, Ed, you ARE funny! Hey, guys, I gots an idea. Let's pay people to watch Ed do stuff like that! We'll be rich!" "Eddy, remind me of one thing" Edd yawned. "Why are we up so early?" "Early starts make great scams!" shouted Eddy.
AT EDD'S GARAGE...
"Eddy, I really don't think my parents would appreciate it if you..." Eddy walked by with a red paint can. "Shut up, sockhead." Eddy walked back into Edd's garage. "But Eddy.." he walked by again with pieces of wood. "Edd, calm down will ya?" Eddy walked back into the garage. Edd's face turned red, smoke came out of his ears, and he screamed "EDDY! I SAID MY PARENTS WOULDN'T LIKE IT IF YOU TOOK STUFF OUT OF MY GARAGE WITHOUT PERMISSION!" that scream echoed throughout the Cul-De-Sac. On top of a mountain, an irish person was playing his bagpipes, but was interuppted by the echo PERMISSION...PERMISSION...Permission!" the Irish person then looked around. He dropped his bagpipe. "Aye, it be a ghost!AHHHH!" he ran and fell off the mountain, he climbed back up and said "Aye, forgot me bagpipe." he grabbed it then fell off again with his bagpipe.
BACK ON HIGHWAY 54...
"Permission! Permission! Permission!..." it could be heard back on highway 54. "Cubracata, did you hear what I hear?" asked Trakata scardily "Yes, yes I did. QUICK, HIDE SOMEWHERE! IT'S THE TAX PEOPLE COMING FOR ME BECAUSE I DIDN'T PAY TAXES!"
SEGMENT TWO END
SEGMENT THREE: THE TAX PEOPLE?
"Sire, don't you remember? I took care of the..." Trakata tried to explain, but was cut off by distant sirens. "Strange, no one has been on this highway for 18 years..." "HUG ME, TRAKATA!" Cubracata screamed, he picked up the short little servant and hugged him. HARD. The sirens got closer...and closer...a few moments later, the car appeared out of the fog. It was a cop car. The siren lights were so bright that you'd have to look at the sun to realize how bright they were. Cops got out of the car, walked up to Cubracata, and said "Drop the rat." Cop 1 said. Cubracata threw Trakata up in the air and held his hands in the air. Cop 2 laughed. "But your hands down son, you're not in trouble." Cubracata put his hands down, and sighed with relief. The sigh was so long, you wouldn't think a Mexican had such big lungs. "We are here to take ya downtown." Cop 1 announced. To Cubracata, it was bad news. But then Cop 1 continued "You need to fill out some information about this..uhh..car." A scream is heard, and everyone looks up, to see Trakata coming back down to Earth. "Don't worry about him." said Cubracata. "Alright then." said both the cops. They all got in the car, and headed for downtown Peach Creek. Although, they left Trakata behind, who now hit Earth facefirst. "Ow! Cubracata, why did you... HEY! COME BACK HERE! DON'T LEAVE ME BEHIND! Aggg..."
DOWNTOWN PEACH CREEK - 5:53AM
"Sign here, initals here, birthday here, and middle name here." ordered the cop chief. "Whew! That was a lot of writing. I can go now, right?" asked Cubracata. "Not exactly," Cop 1 reached for his handcuffs, but instead he picked up his radio. "10-47 Downtown." he spoke into it, and waited. Moments later a cop responded, but the voices were so soft Cubracata couldn't hear anything. "10-47 means: Some Dude Crashed His Car On A Highway And Left His Or Her Servant There." he waited again. "Righto. Over and out." He looked at Cubracata, who was redoing his eyebrows with a marker. "Umm.." Cubracata looked up at the cop. "Yes? I DIDN'T DO IT! I DIDN'T STEAL YOUR DONUTS! IT WAS THAT RAT OF MINE!"
FLASHBACK START
"You see, it was Monday morning, I was uhh...at the barbers! Yeah, yeah. And my stupid runt servant walks in with a bagfull of donuts that were labeled 'PROPERTY OF COP 2. IF YOU FIND, RETURN TO DOWNTOWN PEACH CREEK POLICE STATION IMMEDATILY!' I asked him what he was doing with them..." "Uhh, Trakata?" Trakata looked up at Cubracata and said "Yes?" "...I asked him where he got the donuts..." "Where'd you get those donuts...?" "Oh yeah," Trakata responded. "I stole them from--" "Hey, hey, hey!" Cop 1 started.
FLASHBACK END
"Its not about the donuts, Cop 2 gave them to him." Cubracata, once again sighed his world famous sigh. Cubracata grinned. "Whew, so its okay to say that I'm not busted?" Cop 1 made a sly smile. "Of course not!" he lowered his voice. "We know of a few past accidents and we have a crime record, lets see..." he took out Cubracata's crime record. "Stealing cars, hurting other citizens, threatening, stalking, and your crazy theory of the Extremely Forbidden Door of Doom and the Seven Legendary Sharpies." Cubracata looked at the cop with disbelief. "But that's not a crime!" he cried. "I know, but I don't like it. Everyone knows it dosen't exist!" Cop 1 explained. "Be afriad, we are keeping an eye on you." he paused. "Get outta here."
SEGMENT THREE END
