A/N: It's been such a long time since I posted something here, I'm not even sure if any of you will read it haha :D The story is set in the technically canon universe (not an AU), but Sakura is in her twenties, and Naruto and Sasuke have still not returned to the village... So basically, not canon? Idk, if you like KakaSaku give it a shot. I hope you all enjoy!
"Sakura, watch your step before you fall over," a calm, low, male voice said.
"I know where I'm going, so relax already! God, you act like you're my dad sometimes," came an irritated reply of an obviously not-so-sober young female.
The man chuckled.
"If I was anything even remotely close to your father, Sakura, I would not have let you drink this much," he was clearly amused by the girl's slightly drunken state.
"Well it's your damn fault for being so late, Kakashi! But then again, I can't really expect anything else from you at this point… What was I supposed to do? Sit alone at that bar and keep drinking water? Pff. No, thank you," Sakura said in a still annoyed tone, now rummaging through her purse, trying to find the keys of her apartment.
Kakashi was amazed by how she was still standing from the amount (and mixture) of beer and sake the girl drank, let alone how she was able to string words into sentences that actually made sense.
Well, for the most part anyway.
He stood a few steps behind her for a few more moments, looking at her desperately trying to find the "cursed key" to the "goddamned door" of her "stupid apartment", and listen to her mumble all of the afore mentioned curses under her breath, as if she thought he couldn't hear her.
The silver haired man then laughed lightly to himself one more time, before reaching his hand out to grab the girl's wrist.
"Sakura."
She shot a look of confusion at him, her emerald eyes shining in the dark.
"Let me."
She pouted slightly, but he could still see her pursed lips even in the darkened hallway of her building.
The man smiled lightly behind his black mask. His dear female student always looked so adorable when she pouted.
The pink haired girl was obviously reluctant, but after a moment she let him go through her purse anyway.
Kakashi simply pushed away her wallet and a pack of tissues when he victoriously pulled out a pair of shiny keys.
Sakura crossed her arms over her chest and huffed.
"I could have done that."
"If you could have done that, Sakura, you would have done it ten minutes ago when you started looking through your bag," he replied a bit smugly as he started unlocking her door.
He barely contained his laughter when he heard her mumble "Yeah, you found it when I pushed all of the other stuff out of the way for you."
But, of course, he couldn't do that, because it was 3 in the morning and all of the other tennants on the floor were probably sleeping and even their quiet whispers bounced off the walls.
And also he had that whole "cool guy" reputation of his to keep, and laughing would just kill it.
He finally opened the door and they entered. Her apartment was, as usual, a bit chilly. She switched on the lights as they walked in the living room. Kakashi remembered the time when her room and all of her things were neatly decorated and always very colorful. Now however, it was all very simple and in basic tones. Her couch was beige, her table was light brown, the walls were simple and white, with no pictures on them. The only things decorating the room and making it personal were the two framed pictures on the smaller table next to the couch. One was a picture of Sakura with her parents, on the day that she became an ANBU. He knew that because he was the one who took the picture in the first place. And the other picture…
The other picture was the old, original Team 7 picture.
Sakura said that she had gotten rid of all of the things that reminded her of her teammates, but she still kept that picture.
And for as long as Kakashi has known the kunoichi… He was certain that there was not a day that she had ignored that picture, or the emotions it brought with it.
The sight of their faces all together in the same place brought a lot of feelings to him. He himself put his picture of the team away. He wrapped it in newspapers and he placed it in a drawer of his cabinet, just so he didn't have to look at it every single day.
He just couldn't bare to do so.
Sakura noticed his gaze on the framed photo. She knew the feelings of reminiscence that he was having, because she herself had them every day. She walked over to the small table and put the picture facing down.
He was considerate enough to follow her home. He didn't need to have grievous feelings for doing a kind gesture for her.
But from the obvious somber look in his eyes, it was already too late.
"Kakashi, I…"
"Well, I'm glad that I brought you home safely. So now that I have made sure that no monsters mugged you or raped you on your way home, as you so eloquently put it earlier, I should be leaving," he said in a joking matter, but his voice was dry and raspy.
Sakura let out a hollow laugh in an attempt to avert the subject.
"You know, I don't need you to chaperone me. I'm strong enough to defend myself now, remember?"
"Yes, I know. You're not the little girl you used to be."
Sakura's eyes widened.
His voice was low and… Painful. She clearly saw him glance at the now laid down picture as he said those words.
"But you must remember, Sakura," he averted his gaze back to her bright green eyes again.
"I will always feel a need to protect you at all costs, no matter how strong you get."
The pink haired kunoichi felt a strong pain in her chest. A feeling she thought she had forgotten by now.
Sakura was overjoyed that she was finally able to get Kakashi out of his house, being as that lately he only went out when he had missions, and that he actually had a pleasant and fun night- both of them did- she was devastated with the fact that this small detail that completely left her mind was able to ruin their night.
Just as the elder man turned and was about to leave, he heard the painful, pleading whisper of the girl—no, woman, across the room behind him.
"I'm sorry."
Her voice stopped him dead in his tracks. He knew that voice anywhere. God only knows how many times he had heard it in the past seven years.
That choked, tearful voice, of the thirteen-year-old pink haired girl, begging her sensei to hold her, to help her, to save her. Because she was just a little girl who simply wanted her friends, her family back in her life.
But she never got them back.
And Kakashi could never forgive himself for the things he said that day.
For the things he promised her, that never came true.
Sakura sat under the tree, feeling as if her own tears could choke her. Her nails were digging deep into her skin, making small wounds on her arms, drawing blood. The hot trails of liquid on both her arms and her face felt as if they were burning her skin, and she thought "only if that could be possible".
Because she cursed herself. She wished herself to not even be there.
Because what was the point? What was her purpose?
Her purpose before was to help her team mates. To stand beside them.
To protect them.
But now that they were gone, now that they left her, what was her meaning?
She was too weak to bring either of them back, she knew that.
So what could she possibly do with her life?
"Sakura-chan."
Her head shot up at the call of her name as she saw her sensei stand before her.
He had that reprimanding, but still concerned look in his eye he always wore when he saw her crying.
"Why do you treat yourself like this? Why do you hurt yourself like this? You couldn't have done anything, you already know that. In both cases. And you tried your best, I know that. Even I could do nothing. So stop blaming yourself," he spoke to her calmly, as if he could read her mind.
"What am I supposed to do now, sensei? Huh? They were my motivation to become better. They were my best friends. My family. Now that both of them are gone… What's the point?" Sakura said, her voice hoarse and choked. But most of all, emotionless.
Then she chuckled humorlessly.
"I mean, I might as well be—"
"Don't you dare say that."
Her eyes widened in shock at the tone of his voice.
That was the first and last time Kakashi was ever enraged with her.
"You may say a lot of things about yourself. You may question your strength, or your abilities as a shinobi. You may even cry all day about your forehead and your physical looks. Throw yourself a pity party if you want. But don't you ever dare question your meaning," his voice was angry and he seemed like he was seconds away from actually yelling at her.
Sakura stared at him bewildered, since he never spoke to her like this before.
"This place wouldn't be the same without you. This team wouldn't be the same without you. I wouldn't be the same," he grabbed her wrist and squeezed it.
"Everyone whose life you have entered has been changed. You have the power to bring joy into lives of even the saddest and most damaged people. I should know," his voice calmed as he stroked the skin of her wrist with his thumb.
"So don't you ever wish that you were dead. Nothing that can happen in this life is so important and so grave for any person to want to end their existence. Specially when you mean so much to the people who love you."
The girl swallowed as she kept listening to him intently.
"Do you want to know what you should do? Train. Study. Work on yourself. Make yourself stronger. Make yourself a better person. So when the day comes when Sasuke and Naruto return, they can both look at you. And when they really see you, when they realize your true power, because I strongly believe that you have it in you, they will be more than proud that someone so special to them has become so strong and has come so far. If you want to find your true meaning, make your loved ones proud. But most importantly…" He placed his hands on both of her shoulders.
"Make yourself proud of your own skin."
Sakura's tears were still flowing, but this time… They didn't hurt. She could barely even feel them.
"Do you think you can do that, Sakura?"
She clenched her fists and nodded her head as she spoke weakly, but Kakashi heard the determination in her shaky voice.
"Hai."
The masked man smiled.
"Good. I'm happy to hear that."
Just as he was about to get up, her small hand clenched his sleeve.
"Kakashi-sensei…"
"Yes, Sakura-chan?"
"Will they really come back?"
He was a bit taken aback by her serious tone, but he still smiled at her.
"Of course they will."
"Promise?"
The silver haired man stared at her tearful green eyes, only a small trace of hope remaining in them.
"I promise."
The pink haired girl threw herself into her sensei's arms, wrapping her arms around his torso, and finally letting herself cry out loudly for the first time in the three months since Naruto had left.
"I am so sorry, Kakashi-sensei. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you," she tried desperately to keep her voice still from shaking, even as the first tears hit the floor.
The man turned to her and the sight was heartbreaking.
The now young woman with long pink hair framing her gentle, beautiful face shook, as her tears slightly smeared her mascara. Her fists, the fists that had become her number one weapon, the fists of the hands that could kill a man in a matter of seconds but could also heal him just as quick (and in more ways than one), were clenched tightly to the point where Kakashi could actually hear the bones crackling, even from where he was standing.
"Sakura… You don't—"
"Please, stay tonight."
