Useless

By Twilight Trekky

Rating: T (for language!!!!!)

Summary: Emmett wants to get married to Rose again after their near death experience with the Volturi in BD. Her response is not what he expected…

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

A/N: I really have wanted to do this for a while, so tell me what you think, please!! R&R, R&R, R&R, R&R!!! Please? Thanks to my wonderful beta Technician Fan!!!

Rose's POV:

Alice, out of the blue, started giggling her tinkling laugh. Jasper, beside her, Edward, Bella, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, and I all looked at her as if she was crazy (which she secretly was). The TV was displaying a car commercial, and it wasn't funny at all.

"What's so funny?" Jasper asked.

Before she could respond, Edward started laughing, too. "That's hilarious!"

"What's hilarious?" I asked him.

"You'll find out in a few minutes," Alice replied, smiling her ear to ear grin.

I sighed and looked back at the TV. The commercial changed to a Jared's Galleria of Jewelry one. It showed a woman showing off an engagement ring saying, "He went to Jared!"

Emmett cleared his throat and muted the TV for a moment. "Honey," he said, turning to me. "I've been thinking lately."

"Oh, dear," Esme teased. I smiled.

"Haha," Emmett said sarcastically. "No, but, I've been thinking about the war, if that's what you could call it, against the Volturi about Nessie. We could've died if Alice and Jasper hadn't brought Nahuel and his family. It made me think, as life changing decisions were made, that I wanted to get married again. So, wanna marry me? Again?" He smiled hopefully, even though he knew the answer already.

That's when I thought about a funny thing I could do. "Nah, I don't want to."

Everybody (except Alice and Edward who were already in on it) gasped in horror at my answer. They all knew I loved Emmett. Why was I saying no?

"What?" Emmett asked softly.

"Why should I marry you again?" I asked him. I gestured to Bella while saying, "You can't even beat a girl in arm wrestling. You're fucking useless!" I had a hard time keeping a straight face at this point.

"Rose," Emmett said, getting really panicked now. "She was a newborn. How was I supposed to beat her?"

"You're supposed to be Superman, right? All strong and powerful? Well you're not! And that makes me think you're not worthy of my love." I crossed my arms at my chest.

Emmett's lower lip started quivering. He was trying his puppy dog face on me. It made my heart (what was left of it) melt. "Please, Rose," he said. "We'll redo the match! And I'll win, I promise!"

"No you won't, and I know that you know it as well as I do." I stood up and walked over to the window, looking out at the river behind our house.

I heard him get up and walk over to stand behind me. "Rose, please, don't do this to me. I love you with all my heart, and I need you! Please, marry me, dammit!"

I heard Alice and Edward's silent laughter behind me. Joke's over, I guess. I turned to Emmett and jumped up onto him, straddling his waist and wrapping my arms around his neck before forcing my lips onto his. He was completely taken off guard, but he lost no time in kissing me back. I heard wolf whistles from the rest of the family and I broke off the kiss, laughing a little and smiling as big a grin as Alice's.

"I'm confused," he said.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Yes, you idiot. Of course I'll marry you."

"Really?" he asked, surprised. "So you didn't mean all those other things?"

"Of course not! Why would I care if you're stronger than a newborn or not? I could give a damn! All I care about is you, and us, and our future. Got it?"

He nodded and smiled. I jumped down and walked back over to the couch, un-muting the TV. He still stood there, though, confused again. I muted the TV again and looked back over at him.

"What else, Em?" I asked him.

"I don't get to give you a ring?" he asked.

I showed him my left hand, which still had on the ring that I had had since the first time we had gotten married, way back on October 21, 1938. "I still have on the ring, though."

He ran over and quickly grabbed the ring off my finger, as fast as lightning. "Now you don't." He got down on his knee. "Rosalie Hale, will you do me the honor of becoming my bride… again?"

"I already said yes!" I said as he slipped the ring on. I smiled in amusement and turned back to the rest of the family and showed them the ring. Alice and Edward were already laughing silently, as they knew what I was about to do.

"He went to Jared!"

THE END