As I watched the new episode I really thought that they were gonna put this scene in the episode because we need more Beckett/Ryan/Esposito bonding moments like we had in the earlier seasons because now all we see is caskett, which is amazing, but let's see some other things too.
This scene takes place during Dressed to Kill, right before Beckett heads home at the end. So spoilers ahead.
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Beckett ran a tired hand through her hair and sighed. Was she doing the right thing? Maybe she wasn't ready. Spring was soon though, almost too soon in a way.
She probably just needs a good night rest she thought as she grabbed her coat to head to her apartment to clear her thoughts before heading to Castle's.
A certain detective was still at his desk doing paperwork as Beckett was walking across the bullpen and before she knew what she was doing, she was seated in a nearby seat that Espo usually used throughout the course of the day. He'd know what to do.
"Hey, Ryan." She offered weakly.
Ryan picked his head up from all the paperwork with a smile, but the second he saw Beckett he frowned knowing something was wrong. Worry filled his stunning blue eyes, "What's wrong, Becks?"
She bit her lip looking the other way while she gathered her thoughts and courage to tell Ryan what was bothering her. It was easier said than done, she was like his older sister and she never liked showing weakness. Besides, he should be going to her for help, not the other way around. She was about to just shake her head and stand up when a warm hand on hers brought her thoughts back to Ryan. She turned her head to him and couldn't help but smile when she saw his small smile he was offering with his hands gently placed on hers.
He squeezed her hands softly and whispered, "You can tell me, it's okay." He assured her.
Beckett took a deep breath and asked, "How did you do it?"
"Do what?"
She squeezed his hands gently back as she continued, "How did you know you ready when you wanted to marry Jenny? Did you ever stop and think that maybe it wasn't time?
Ryan laughed as he shook his head and said, "Definitely."
"W-what?" This was more than a surprise to the female detective. "But, you and Jenny were so cute and in love. How could you think that she wasn't the one or you weren't ready?"
There came Ryan's charming smile as leaned back in his chair and silently stared at the ceiling for a moment before fixing his composure. "Yeah, but that doesn't mean I thought I was ready." He laughed before explaining, "She was beautiful and every second I saw her, I thought that how could I ever deserve such an Angel. God had definitely blessed me."
Beckett smiled warmly as she listened to Ryan. She loved the way his baby blue eyes almost lit up as he talked about her. "The only thing I could think of was her and, and, I just didn't want to lose her." He whispered running a hand through his hair. Beckett rubbed his shoulder with a sympathetic frown. Ryan lifted his head up and looked Beckett directly in the eyes.
"When I come to work everyday, I know that there's a chance that it's the last time I come. I know, I know, I shouldn't be worrying about that, but it's true. Before we were married, I couldn't stop thinking," He squeezed his eyes shut as he paused to relax a moment before continuing. "I couldn't stop imaging something going wrong and I leave Jenny. God forbid, I ever die on duty and I never see my beautiful Angel again. That's not fair to her because I bet her friends don't worry about their husbands as they leave for work everyday."
Beckett scrunched her eyebrows, "We wouldn't let anything happen to you. You know that; especially with Espo as your partner."
Ryan opened his eyes and looked into Beckett's. "I know." He whispered. He straightened himself and wrapped up his story, "But, then I thought of life with Jenny and frankly, life with her was worth the risk."
Beckett smiled taking in his advice and spoke, "My mother would have loved all this." She laughed and tried to keep her tears from falling, "And I just don't think I can do this without her." A small tear fell down her cheek and Ryan was at her side in an instant with his arms around her. She buried her head in his shoulder taking deep breaths trying to calm down her breaths. When she smelt Ryan's familiar scent of coffee, his cologne and something else she couldn't figure out, she soothed herself enough to stop her tears.
"I don't think I'll ever be ready, Kevin. I never want to think about getting married without my mother. But I want to marry him." She hugged him harder for comfort and he rubbed her back as he spoke, "I know you don't feel like you'll be able to do this, but this is what your mother would want. She'd want her baby girl to go off and find her Prince Charming to marry."
Beckett pulled back and quickly rubbed her eyes to get rid of her tears, but Ryan pulled her hands away and took them in his as he looked into her eyes. "Love is a long road that has no turning." He paused to let Beckett take in what he said in, "Beckett, Castle loves you now and wants more than anything to call you his wife and your mother has been by your side since day one. Nothing about that is changing, or turning, or getting ruined."
Beckett smiled when she understood what he was saying and brought him in for another hug, but this time it was much harder and she was crying happy tears. "I knew you'd know the right thing to do." Ryan chuckled and squeezed her as well, but soon needed air, "Uh, Beckett, you're kinda choking me."
Beckett laughed pulling back, "Sorry." She tucked a string of hair behind her ear, "But thank you. Thank you so much."
Ryan stood up and leaned down to give her a kiss on the top of her head, "You're welcome. Now go, Castle's waiting. I'm heading home to Jenny. It's time we both went home." Ryan glanced at his watch.
Beckett moved standing up as well, "I'm just gonna put all of my stuff together, thanks again, Kevin." She kissed his cheek goodbye.
Ryan smiled and nodded, "Hey, what are pesky little brothers for?" He laughed with a wink and she rolled her eyes. "Oh, but, uhh, I'd appreciate if this stayed away from Javi because he'd have a field day with the blackmailing of me being some sort of 'softie'." He used air quotes for the word, softie.
Beckett laughed, "Of course, Kev. Now go home to your wife. Never leave a woman waiting." She joked with a wink.
He laughed, "Don't I know it." He waved goodbye one last time before heading into the elevator leaving Beckett to her thoughts.
"Maybe he's right. Maybe I am ready. What do you think, Mom?" She smiled looking up as she closed her eyes, "Yeah, I know I'm in love and it would be crazy to not marry him." She fixed her coat and got her keys. "I love you Mom. Always."
We really need more of Beckett/Ryan, Ryan/Castle and ofc Salt and peppa friendships/bromances. I love the Caskett, but let's not forget what started the show. Those relationships that really need to be brought back.
Of to school. Why can't there be another snow day?
