Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this story are the property of George Lucas and/or the artists who created them. No money is being made from this writing, and no infringement is intended. Lyrics have been stolen from Savage Garden's "I Don't Know You Anymore" and no infringement is intended there either.
Spoilers: This takes place sometime after Star by Star.
The Reset Button
Chapter One: StopLuke watched the recorded message again, amazed at the memories her face and voice were managing to conjure up. In all the chaos that was happening in the universe, he couldn't draw himself away from a specter of his past.
"I know this is probably the worst timing a person could possibly have," she repeated for him, chuckling nervously, "but I decided I have been putting this off long enough. I wanted to let you know I was okay, but something always seemed to stop me. First it was the Force, or lack thereof; then it was a man named Danen," she sighed, her gray eyes misting over a little bit as she ran a hand through her short brown hair. "And, most recently, a woman named Mara and her child named Ben."
As she said his wife's name, Luke instinctively reached out for her, sensing that she and Ben were still peacefully dreaming in their room on the Millennium Falcon. Luke recognized that he should have been in bed as well, but he needed to stay by the com, just in case.
"I can't lie to you, Luke; I was a little shocked by the announcement that you were going to marry her. But a lot has changed since we last saw each other, so who was I to judge that? It almost made me wish I had tried to contact you sooner."
A rustle from behind Luke made his face flush as he hit the pause button and turned off the display almost simultaneously. Not quick enough, however, because he felt his sister's hand on his shoulder and she spun the chair around.
"What are you doing?" Leia asked after a few moments of silence.
All Luke could think to do was shrug. "I don't know, Leia; searching for an answer, maybe hoping for some closure."
Leia raised an eyebrow. "I thought a wife and child would be closure enough, Luke."
He shook his head. "I never got to really say goodbye to her; a wave just didn't do our relationship justice. And since the Vong…I couldn't help but wonder what had happened to her, if she was among the living or the dead." He sighed, pressing his tired blue eyes with the heels of his hands. "Now I have an answer to one question, but its just brought up so many others."
Leia crouched down in front of her brother and placed her hands on his knees. "What does her message say, Luke?"
He closed his eyes, almost smiling at the way her face just reappeared in his mind, without him having to conjure it. Even if this new picture was twelve years older, it still felt like the same woman.
"She said that after the marriage was announced, she decided it was best not to contact me, even though she thought she might have found a way to open herself up to the Force. It seemed silly to her then, I guess. So she worked at it herself, quietly, and has made a little progress."
Leia interrupted. "What about the Vong?"
Luke nodded. "Once it became clear that the New Republic army wasn't going to be doing much to save back-water planets like Chad, she joined a small resistance movement and helped people safely evacuate the planet and get to, hopefully, more stable places." He opened his eyes, her face still floating in front of him. "They've had to evacuate the planet, but she says that if we need her help, she and the resistance group can be here."
Leia pursed her lips, thinking. She knew how it felt to have Han's old loves wandering back into his life, but she also trusted Han, and knew he loved her. Mara didn't truly trust anyone, and from the way her brother had been obsessing over the message…
"What are you going to tell her?" she finally asked.
He pulled a padd out of his pants' pocket and gave it to her. "I'm sending her the coordinates of one of the civilian corps. They can use someone with the disciplined training that she's had."
Leia knew everything he wasn't telling her: to bring this former lover into his life now would only complicate things more. It was bad enough that he had this single message to play for himself; being in each other's company might have been too much for either of them to handle.
Standing, Leia kissed her brother on the top of his head. "Try to get some sleep, Luke. A generation of Jedi is going to need some strong guidance very soon."
He nodded again as she left, and then turned back towards the monitor. Turning it back on, he rewound past her offer of assistance, and then pressed play:
"I hope you're happy, Luke; and I'm glad for you. I've offered wondered what it would be like if I ever did see you again—what would we say, what would we do? I was the first to break the silence; I was trying to be courageous. Have you forgiven me, Luke? Do you understand now why I did what I did?" She shook her head. "This isn't sent out of guilt, I just…what I wouldn't give if I could see your face again." She sighed. "Please get back to me about the assistance though, Luke; this battle is something we both need to fight."
He turned off the monitor, saving the message deep within the Falcon's memory core. Someday, when all this was over, he might actually send her a real message, and not just the typed text of coordinates. He would let her know then that he had forgiven her, and he'd never blamed her to begin with.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, Ben stirred, and would soon begin to cry. Luke rushed towards the cabin he and Mara were sharing before the child woke up the sleeping mother.
