/**Hey so, uh, before we start the story, gonna throw up a warning of sorts. The story is gonna handle depression a lot, and attempted suicide in two or so chapters - this being the first. Now I know DA is a place for those more hardened to mature topics, infamous for such in fact. But if you don't handle suicide scenes well, I suggest you skip the prologue and start from Chapter 1, when it's out. Okay? Okay. Hope you enjoy the fic. */
Numbness. A cold, empty, hollow numbness. That was all Lilac felt. Well, from the waist down at least.
It was all she could concentrate on, sitting in her wheelchair and staring blankly into the Valley's golden sands. The amber rays were casting down on her, raining down with their false hope and their whimsical promises of freedom and adventure ever just beyond the horizon. Her finger tapped against the arm rests of her wheelchair in a vaguely subconscious manner as she continued to stare into the valley from atop the cliff she was on, watching the tumbleweeds and the animals of the valley play in the caverns below. Lilac's eyes were drenched with tears, knowing that, far from the days she would playfully chase them around the rocky spaces below, she might never be able to join them in their fun ever again.
A sob jammed her throat up as she continued to think about it. Her upper body was still fine, the bits that kept her body alive were okay; blood pumping, heart racing, lungs contracting and stomach processing what little food she allowed herself to have. But everything below her waist, her legs specifically, just felt so empty and dead and just so depressingly NUMB. There was no feeling, not even a small twitch within them to remind her of her former life. They just sort of existed now, attached to her body and weighing her down. Even her world famous tendrils had just sort of stopped working; both hung loosely on the back of her head. And even now, all but a week on from the event that caused all of this misery, she still felt sick. She still felt wrong. And she wasn't sure if that feeling would ever go away. Not unless she did something about it...
"Urgh, that was a mistake..." came a voice behind her, "Probably should have left the paprika out of that last batch. Although...I think with a little soy sauce they should be fantastic!"
Lilac was confused. Who was this being? What on earth was he blathering about? Was he talking about sushi? Why the heck had he put paprika in sushi?! She turned her wheelchair around to see who was behind her; it was indeed a male, a very strange one at that, who had managed to sneak up behind her in an unnaturally silent manner. He was...well, it wasn't clear what he was at first glance. He was clearly similar to the sort of person that inhabited Planet Avalice, but there were just enough differences to show that he was not of this world; his body was lankier, a bit taller than Lilac if she could stand, while his eyes were much wider and seemed to be a case of one "eye" and two grey pupils within it, alongside a clearly defined muzzle with jagged scraps of fur around the edges. He seemed to be a wolf at best guess, with grey fur and a bushy tail, while he wore what seemed to be a damaged dinner suit that was black in colour and came with a red bowtie and cufflinks. The rest of his attire was no stranger, wearing leather driving gloves, one leather shoe and one sneaker, while a blue necktie was wrapped around his head and what seemed to be a wand of sorts lodged into his lapel.
He looked up at Lilac, taking his attention off of the plate of sushi in his hand, and nodded to Lilac like he was trying to tip a hat he didn't have, "Well, uh, hello! Lilac, is it?"
Lilac looked at this strange man with a look of half-confusion, half-fear, "...Who are you? What're you doing here? Did Carol send you?"
"Well...I guess it would be a bit proper to introduce myself," the odd man straightened up and smiled, "Hello! I'm The Surgeon! Time Lord, traveller of the universe and collaborator with the No-Zone."
"Oh not those people again..." Lilac sighed.
"Well, I do what I can to keep these worlds safe," The Surgeon shrugged, "And knowing what you've been through, it'd be better to out-and-out state what I'm here for rather than try to come up with something you're not gonna believe. I am here, miss Lilac, to stop a suicide."
"O-Oh?" Lilac asked, shaking a bit, "Who might do that?"
The Surgeon looked at Lilac's shivering, crying form and sighed, "Lilac, I'm a time traveller. I know what happens in this timeline. And it isn't what you're about to do. It's not right, Lilac. This isn't the way to solve this problem. It's a massive, fantastic, a brilliant BRILLIANT life...that you're just going to throw off a cliff. It's...well, it's insane!"
"...How would you know?" Lilac crowed bitterly, her voice breaking at the very end, "What sort of life is this? I used to be the fastest dragon girl on the planet. Able to Dragon Boost from one side of the world to the other! The one to save it all from the evil Lord Brevon! Now look at me. I can't even feel my legs anymore, let alone use 'em. I...I wanna fly high..." she sobbed, turning around again and looking at the sky, "But I'll never leave the ground again..."
"But that's not all that's left," The Surgeon pleaded, "This isn't the end the party, this isn't the end of Sash Lilac, and it isn't worth throwing your very life away. Please, Lilly. Think of the people you'll leave behind, devastated at the loss."
"They won't miss me!" Lilac cried out, her voice wavering even more now, "They'll find another girl to make friends with! Forget I ever existed! They've got no use for me anymore...I'm just a shell of a former self that no-one even liked to begin with.
"Listen to yourself, Lilac!" The Surgeon said, his tone becoming much more serious, "Listen to what you're saying. It's crazy talk. It flies in the face of everything that happens on this very scrap of Terra Firma, hurtling its way through space. And it's not you, Lilac. This is the grief within you talking. And it wants to end you!"
"How so?!" Lilac squeaked, her voice becoming louder and more desperate by the second, "I mean, Carol abandoned me, didn't she? Left me to die at Brevon's hand. And when I came back, like this? Where was she, huh? Where was she when I needed her the most?!"
"Please..."
"Stop it!" Lilac shrieked, grasping the wheels of her wheelchair and budging herself slightly forward, "I'LL DO IT!"
"No you won't," The Surgeon stood his ground, his voice unwavering and entrenched in the realm of stoic, "I know you won't."
"I WILL!" Lilac screamed, "I'LL WHEEL MYSELF RIGHT OFF THIS CLIFF!"
"Not with the brakes on, you won't."
Lilac stopped. She stared at the ravine below. She tried to move the wheels forward. They wouldn't budge...the brakes were on. Finally, whatever was left of her resolve broke down, her hands slipping off the wheels as she began to weep into them. He was right; this wasn't the right way to do it. This wouldn't stop the pain, merely shove it onto those who were less deserving. Her weeping and sniffling turned into full-on sobbing again in short order, unaware of The Surgeon slowly approaching her wheelchair, disengaging the brakes and quickly moving far away from the edge of the cliff edge. She only whispered broken words in between sobs, "I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm sorry..."
"I know you are..." The Surgeon sighed as he continued to push Lilac down the path she had taken to get up there. He didn't stop until he was about halfway down the cliff itself, stopping in the middle of one of Dragon Valley's many springs, and sat on a rock by the side as Lilac continued to pitifully sob near the water's edge. He breathed a hasty but long-drawn sigh of relief as Lilac soon slowed down on the crying, seemingly soothed by the water's calming rumble. Finally, when it looked like she had calmed down enough, he got up from the rock and slowly approached her, slowly extending his arm towards her with a bit of his sushi in hand. Lilac looked at him in a puzzled manner.
The Surgeon shrugged, "You can have it. Don't worry, I dusted all the paprika off this one. I...kinda had time to kill, after all."
"This isn't fair..." Lilac wept, "Your boys in red told me about what's out there. A million different versions of me across all of time and space, and it's ME in particular who loses her legs..." she turned to look at The Surgeon, tears still in her heavily-bloodshot eyes, "Wh-why?"
"That's just the way it goes, I'm afraid," The Surgeon shrugged, "One of the problems with the multiverse. Not every version of you can have a happy ending. I...know it's not exactly the great motivator. You can feel so small when you have the knowledge that one version of you just jumped off the...uh, sorry. This isn't helping, is it?"
"Does it look like it's helping?!" Lilac whimpered. She took a hasty bite of the sushi in an attempt to calm herself. It tasted...odd, to say the least.
"Yeah, first time trying to make it. Don't think it worked out that well. Probably should have left the garlic ketchup out too..." The Surgeon sighed, his ears drooping, "I'm sorry, Lilac. I know this isn't helping much, but...well I guess when you're a multiple-life alien you can't exactly find the right sort of empathy for those with one life and no ability to heal anything."
"It's okay..." Lilac sighed, watching the waters ripple and splash in front of her, "You stopped me from...throwing myself off a cliff. I think that's more than enough empathy. A lot more than most other people on this wretched planet. I don't know what I would have done if you didn't...well, TRY to talk me out of it. I might have disengaged the brakes..."
"Yes, and we don't want that, do we?" The Surgeon said, "Not when there's still hope, heh heh...hmm, I tell you what. The others are still waiting for you back home, but I don't think you're quite ready to return just yet. So we have time to kill and I'm sort of curious, so tell me...if you want to..."
Lilac turned to look directly at The Surgeon again, his face plastered with a look of impending regret. A horrible heavy feeling welled up in her stomach, she already knew what he was going to ask, but it was something that needed to be answered nevertheless. Maybe if she went through it all again, she might find acceptance for what she now was. She blinked at him, "Yes?"
"How DID you end up in a wheelchair?"
Lilac remained calm for a second, silent, staring out into the dense jungle surrounding the two. Even when she could feel the question coming it still stung when it was asked. She grabbed her wheelchair and tried her best to shimmy her way around so that the whole wheelchair was facing The Surgeon, finishing her sushi and resting her hands on her knees. She drew in and breathed out a long sigh, before she cleared her throat and began.
"Well, it all started a week or so ago. About halfway into this little adventure of mine if your No-Zone boys meant what they were saying. We had just escaped Neera and lost Torque to Brevon's forces. Then we had that big fight between me and Carol. But...then they arrived. Those who started all those changes to my timeline. Let me see if I can remember..."
