DISCLAIMER: I am not Stephanie Meyer and I do not own the Twilight books or any of their characters.
BPOV-
You know how after you've stuffed yourself full of something that at the time was wonderful, and then as soon as you've stopped shoveling food into you mouth, you wish you had chosen something that wouldn't leave you feeling lifeless and immobile? Well, right now that is exactly how I'm feeling about being with Edward. After that fantastic day in our meadow we'd spent every waking minute together. After I told Charlie Edward and I were engaged, he had become especially hard to live with. He was never one for deep heart-to-hearts, but we chatter every now and then, but not anymore. It's like I have the plague, and he fears he'll catch just by talking to me. Since Charlie decided to act in that manor, I decided living there with him was a waste of time and moved in with the Cullens. I was welcomed with open arms, and at the time couldn't have been happier, I mean who wouldn't be overjoyed at moving into the home of the supposed love of their life? I've been living here for five months now, and already I've grown bored.
I knew Edward was protective of me, and I don't blame him, trouble always seems to find me. But he is pushing my limits, am I wrong in wanting to be able to leave the house? Anytime I express interest in leaving to get something, or just to do something in general, Edward instantly veto's the suggestion and declares it unsafe for me outside of the house without him or one of his siblings. Honestly, I should be able to run to the grocery store without constant surveillance. Truly, I am not exaggerating when I say I am being SMOTHERED. It's getting so bad that I'm considering getting a job, moving out, and forbidding Edward to live with me. Of course, I could never live fully without him in my life, but I certainly can live without him in the same space.
There are positives about my life though, for instance, I am still good friends with Jacob, despite the mutual hate between him and Edward. Somehow I've managed to make it work, and I am eternally grateful for that. Also, I've stayed especially close with Angela. She lives in a small apartment in Seattle where she is attending university. As luck would have it, she is actually in the market for a new roommate, the girl she was living with decided to run off with her boyfriend, of three months, to New York City so they could become supermodel's together. That girl is living in a bubble, but hey, I'm not complaining, her delusion has made it even easier for me to move out of the Cullen house.
I decided today was the day I needed to leave. Staying would only make it harder on everyone, including me. I called Angela to make sure she hadn't found herself a new roommate yet, which she hadn't, and that I was planning on moving out and wanted to move in with her. She had no objections, and was ecstatic when I told her to expect me later that night. As soon as I got off the phone with Angela I knew Alice would see what I was planning and run off to warn Edward, but decided it didn't matter, because I was doing this regardless.
I stood in the closet I shared with Edward, having just finished packing my stuff , when he came into our room. He came over to the closet and leaned against the door frame. I knew Alice had told him what she saw and that he was hear to tell me I can't leave him. I started to move toward him, well, not him as mush as the door, but he blocked it. "Edward, let me through. I've made up my mind and you aren't going to change it." I looked up at him and locked my eyes on his, staring with a ferocity I didn't know I had.
"I want to know why, Alice saw you leaving and going to Angela's but she doesn't see the cause." He just kept staring at me, his gold flecked eyes full of an intensity I knew meant he was not going to back down easily.
"Edward, I love you, you know I do, but your over protectiveness is sucking the life-force out of me. You don't let me do anything by myself. Sometimes I just need Bella-time. I can't have that if I can't be alone."
"Why do you need 'Bella-time'? I thought you wanted to be with me, forever."
"I do want to be with you, but I don't want to spend every minute of my life at your side. Don't you ever just want to be alone, just you and your thoughts?"
He glared at me. "No."
I glared back. "Well I do." I tried to shove past him, but he wouldn't budge. "Edward, nothing you say is going to change how I feel, I need to do this. For me, for us. I need to experience life on my own for a little while." He still didn't move. "You can't keep me in this closet forever, I'll die." I knew saying that was a low-blow, but I wanted to hurt him, so he'd be more inclined to let me leave.
"Well then, I guess I'll just have to turn right here and now."
Okay, that was not how I thought he was going to respond. Granted, this is what I had wanted for so long, but currently, I wasn't sure I even wanted to spend eternity with him. Especially, if he was going to continue being completely unreasonable. I decided not to say what I was thinking, it would have only escalated the situation. I was desperate to get out as soon as I could, so I played the loving and grateful girlfriend card. "Edward, I know you don't want to do that. I know I've been asking for you to change me, but I realize how much it means to you that we're married first. Don't do something you're going to regret later."
"I may regret it later, but if it means I get to keep you here with me, I'll do it." The intensity in his eyes changed from one of brute force, to one of honest sincerity. Alright, now he's melting me heart, but I still need want to leave, if only for a short time. I just need to make him understand.
"I'm not going to be far away, Angela lives in Seattle. And it's not like we won't see each other. I still want to be with you, I just don't want to live with you, not right now at least. You can come up and visit me, not whenever you want, but often enough that neither of us will experience withdrawals from each other. I NEED to do this Edward. If you don't let me leave, I'm only going to resent you for it. Please, tell me you understand."
He stepped from the doorway. I picked up my duffle bag full of clothes and brushed past him. I walked out into the room, moving slowly toward the door, when I reached it he spoke, "Bella." I stopped, my back to him. I turned around, keeping my head low, not wanting to see the sadness in his eyes. "I love you," his voice was low, but full of warmth and honesty. I opened my mouth to say it back, but was abruptly interrupted when Edward rushed forward to embrace me in a hug. He moved lightning quick, I hardly had time to brace myself, but he was gentle, as always. I wrapped my arms around him. We stood like that for a long time, neither of us daring to let go first, when finally I looked out the window, and saw the sun starting to set.
"I have to go." I whispered it, barely audible, but I knew he heard. He let me go and I strode out.
