So this fic came about purely by rewatching The 100 all the way through and desperately waiting for the trailer to drop. If anyone of you are readers from my Scalia fanfictions then you're probably aware that Summer and I have a crossover within our fics. I've been badgering her to watch The 100 and she caved yall! She'll deny this but she loves me. Sidenote: We're both really gay for Octavia, Lexa, and Raven. Clarke's a baddie too.

The song for this fic is Bandit Heart - Don't Let Me Go

CLARKE'S POV:

With the radio in hand, I knew I wouldn't make it back to them in time. There was no way. They wouldn't survive.

If I couldn't live I needed them to.

"Bellamy," My heart broke down the middle. "If you can hear me, don't wait."

Moments later the rocket shot through the sky leaving a fiery smoke behind.

I couldn't pretend that I didn't know the decision to leave me didn't kill him inside. Had the situation been reversed, and it had in a way with the dropship door, I would've told them to go without me. I couldn't leave Bellamy alone for five years.

Once I got back to the lab I knew I could survive I knew it was going to be long five years, it was incredibly likely that I'd lose my mind. I'd already lost my heart to space.

Six years and seven days later

My eyes opened with my gut telling me it was the exact moment I needed to set up my little radio show.

I opened my palm to feel the rain on my skin, a smile teased my face. With my notebook set aside I stepped down onto the tire, then onto the ground. I grabbed my rusty satellite and radio, and sat on what came to be my favorite log in the same spot I'd been sitting in for five years and seven days. It would've been six years and seven days had air been breathable that first year after Praimfaya. There wasn't a better view of the mountains anywhere in my Greenland.

A breathy sigh left me. My gaze went to the forest floor. "Here we go again," I said more to myself. With hope, I held the radio to my mouth. "Bellamy," My eyes scanned the sky as if he'd drop out any second. "If you can hear me if you're still alive, it's been two-thousand one hundred and ninety-nine days since Praimfaya. I don't know why I still do this every day." I gave a small laugh. "Maybe it's my way of staying sane." Because for a while it looked bleak without you. "Not forgetting who I am," My head tilted in remembrance. "Who I was." Who I lost and loved. "It's been safe for you to come down for over a year now," I scanned the sky once more. "So why haven't you?"

Out of the two-thousand one hundred and ninety-nine days, I had no definitive proof that they had made it, that they weren't all instantly killed from oxygen deprivation or freezing to death in the cold vacuum of space.

"The bunker's gone silent too. We tried digging them out for a while but there was too much rubble. I haven't made contact with them either." I had no idea if my mom was still alive. "Anyway, I still have hope. Tell Raven to aim for the one spot of green and you'll find me. The rest of the planet from what I've seen basically sucks so-"

A sound akin to a rocket launching or a spaceship breaking the atmosphere caught my attention.

For a few nerve-wracking seconds, I couldn't see anything and my heart broke again. A few more seconds passed to have a ship rocket through the sky.

I stood, my heart raced at the excitement and disbelief that I was going to see everyone after all this time, that I was going to see Bellamy.

The rain had never felt more refreshing, the breeze never felt so lively.

I bought the radio back to my mouth with a hopeful grin. "Nevermind, I see you."

They were alive. They were coming home. He was coming home.

I ran to the back of the rover to wake Madi up.

She jumped excitedly to observe the ship.

Despite having six years to prepare I wasn't ready to see him again. I had a lot of time to come to the realization that I had loved him, more than as a friend. That love didn't delude the love I held for Lexa. She was still in my heart but not in the same gut-wrenching way when I thought of her. She'd called it after all before the two of us even started anything. However, I wasn't delusional. Six years was a long time. Long enough for me to come to terms that I may never see him again, that I had to mourn his love too. So I still loved him, just not in the way I once had.

"I thought you said the ship was small?" Madi called.

I rushed to her side to see a humongous ship landing with caution. "Madi, go get my rifle. Now."

She ran for it then handed it over.

With the rifle eyepiece to look through I confirmed what I already knew in my gut. We had trouble.

"Get in the rover, Madi."

"But I thought-"

"Now!" I demanded.

She understood the seriousness of the situation and hopped inside.

I backed the rover up and booked it through the path I made.

"Who are they?" She asked. "Why are we running from them?"

I turned a sharp right. "The ship said it was a prisoner transport. It's not one of I've heard of."

She looked behind us, her dark hair flapped in the wind. "They could be nice, Klark."

"Could be. We don't know."

She met my eyes. "We're going to kill them, aren't we?"

"No," My head shook. "I'm going to kill them."

Despite being a grounder, Madi wasn't raised in the way she would've been had the world not ended a second time. I tried to instill in her the necessary survival skills. She knew how to hunt, she knew how to climb a tree and scout, she knew how to make herself invisible if need be. But she didn't like to hurt, didn't like for me to hurt things. Luckily, there hadn't been any people outside at all.

"We don't have to, we can talk to them, right?" Her blue eyes shined with hope. "What if your friends are on there?"

Could I take that risk? Not if it meant they'd take our food and shelter, not if they hurt Madi. Honestly, what were the odds they'd be on the prisoner ship?

I drove Madi back to our camp, then went on foot with my weapons.

They'd see my signs warning against intruding but I knew they wouldn't stop there. We hadn't.

From my post in one of the trees, I could see them clearly. Three had ventured out while the rest had stayed back with the ship.

It had been so long since I'd seen someone else besides Madi. Nonetheless, I didn't let the shiny new people distract me from crouching into position.

They held their guns in position for any sign of opposition. Little did they know that there were far worse things on Earth than guns could handle.

"Maybe they're not hostile." A brown haired woman suggested as she lagged behind, her olive skin strikingly familiar.

The blonde male that lead the group scoffed. "They held a gun to our ship. Not likely."

The other male shook as he walked.

"They can explain what happened. This isn't the Earth we left. It looks dead."

She had no idea how right she was.

"Quiet, Christina. We need to find them, they were the only people it looked like for miles. Who knows how long it would take to find someone else. We take them and make them talk."

My hand clutched my spear, tossed it upward, then hurled it through the chest of the leader and pinned him to a tree.

Christina screamed loud enough to wake the world. "Jace!"

"We have to go back to the ship." The shakey man grabbed the woman and fled.

A smirk played on my face. I descended the tree, then worked back to the ground. I stayed low to the ground as I followed them. I aimed an arrow at the man's back, he zigzagged at the last second so it grazed his side.

He cried out.

Christina made sure he was okay before they made it back to their ship.

I ran back for Jace's body, I hadn't hit him through anything extremely important. He was likely to be alive if he could hold out until I made a poultice for his injury.

Because I was feeling poetic, I tied up Jace to the tree I shot him into. He'd serve as a warning.

A scream cut through the air. "Klark!" Madi's terrified voice called.

My attention shifted as I stood. "Madi," I said under my breath. "Madi!" I called back.

The only logical destination she was being taken to was the Eligius ship, so I ran in that direction.

My heart raced out of fear, fear that they'd kill her as retaliation. She was everything. I couldn't let her die.

"Ste yuj!" (Stay strong)

I could hear the movement of the passengers, I was close.

One of them turned at my arrival. "Hey, you're-" He was cut off by one of my daggers hitting him in the head. He slumped to the ground.

My hand pulled it out on my way forward. I grabbed my sword from my back holster then jumped into their presence.

They all stopped what they were doing to inspect me.

"Where is she?" I demanded. "Madi, yu klir?" I yelled loud enough for her to hear. (You safe)

No one gave me an answer.

I waved my sword through the air. "Where is she?!" I demanded. I locked eyes with the man in charge by the stance of him. "If you hurt her I'll-" I was hit in the back of the head with a blunt force object.

When I later woke up I was tied down to a chair with rope. I remembered what happened, that I didn't know if Madi was alive. I struggled against the restraints which only rubbed my skin uncomfortably.

"She's awake," The woman I remembered as Christina announced. She rushed forward as the others gathered around. "You killed Jace, why?" She demanded. Her shiny dark waves fell past her shoulders.

"Chris," A handsome man with curly blonde hair stepped forward as he called her off. "My name's Bryson. I'm sorry about all this, must be weird." His blue eyes stared into mine. "Now you have to understand how weird this is for us. We just want to know what happened? What happened to Earth?"

That wasn't their biggest concern.

I kept my mouth shut.

An older man with salt and pepper hair marched forward with a gun. "How about I make her talk,"

A young Black guy stopped him. "We may have been prisoners but we're not savages."

Bryson turned to them. "Zeke's right. We can't start shooting and asking questions later, not until we know what we're up against."

The brute with the gun shoved Zeke off of him.

"Why can't we?" Christina neared Bryson. "That's what she did."

He looked into her brown eyes. "We don't know that."

She took another step toward him. "Do you see anyone else out there? That spear was thrown with pinpoint accuracy," She turned to me. "And she's the only one we've seen with weapons."

I worked my wrists against the rope behind my back, it hurt to beat hell but I think there was starting to be some slack in it.

A younger Black girl came up to me, about sixteen. Her hair was out in natural curls that framed her face. "I like your hair." She touched the red in my hair.

Christina snatched her up. "Don't talk to her."

The girl struggled loose. "You're not my real sister, you don't get to tell me what to do." She stomped away.

Christina watched her leave with a crack in her composure but she didn't go after her.

Bryson watched her before he turned back to me. "If we tell you what we know will you tell us what you know?"

I remained still.

"It's worth a shot," He mumbled before he gestured to everyone in view. "We're with the Eligius Corporation. Surely, you've heard of it. We were prisoners, some of our crimes petty," He glanced back at the angry man. "Some of them not. We've been in hypersleep for awhile. We're just trying to figure out how long. A few months? A few years?"

Angry man huffed. "That's it." He rushed forward.

A stocky man with olive skin intercepted him. "Calm down, Vinson."

Vinson pointed at me. "I'll calm down when she starts talking. Maybe we should get the kid out here. Then she'll talk."

My eyes narrowed. "Yu nou," I mumbled. (You wouldn't)

His dark brows lifted. "Look at that, she speaks."

Bryson turned to him, his stance stiff. "Would you give it a rest, Vinson. We're not going to hurt anyone, let alone a little girl." He gestured for Zeke and the other burly man to get him out of here.

Vinson struggled a bit but decided it wasn't worth it in the end.

Bryson neared me and crouched. "You can see that we're decently civilized people. We don't want a fight, we just want answers. If I bring your daughter or sister out here will you talk?"

Against my better judgment, I nodded.

He looked back at Christina.

She went to go get Madi without a word.

I continued to work the ropes with little progress.

Bryson stared at me. "See, we can be friends." He held no malice in his voice.

That'll change. Give it a week. Two. A year and that voice would be heavy with blood. Or maybe not. Maybe they wouldn't have the same experience as we did. With everyone that survived in the bunker, there was no one else around to harm them. Only me.

Moments later Madi was brought out. She didn't look bruised or battered, just scared.

This was her first experience with people other than me for several years, so far, it hadn't been a good one.

"Klark, chit ste disha?" (Clarke, what is happening?) "Chon laik emo kru?" (Who are these people?)

My head shook. "Foto kru kom skaikru." (Bad people from the sky)

"What are they saying?" Christina asked. She looked to Bryson.

He shrugged. "How the hell should I know?"

She gave him an irritated brow lift before she went back down the entryway.

He watched her leave, his blue shifted to mine, a little less welcoming this time. "You said you'd give us answers. Is your name Clarke?"

I stared at him.

"Tel em," Madi encouraged.

My head shook at her.

Bryson sighed, his hand ran down his face, then he gave me a parting look before he made his way outside for some air.

"Osir beda tel em ai legend." (We should tell them my story)

She wanted to tell them the bedtime story I told her most nights when she couldn't fall asleep, one of Skaikru's history on the ground. She'd heard it so many times she could recite it herself. A lot of the time she did.

My eyes burned into hers. "Tel em en osir ge wamplei." (Tell them and we die)

The others looked amongst themselves with confusion.

Vinson stalked past us and outside with a handgun. There were sounds of a struggle. Moments later he came back with Bryson knocked out cold over his shoulder.

"Lock them up," He demanded.

Madi and I locked eyes.

They came for me first.

My eyes told her not to be scared before they knocked us out again.

Water was thrown in my face to wake me up. I coughed with water in my airway. When I realized my arms were tied to chains that spread them in either direction my eyes scanned for Madi.

She was slumped over until they dashed water on her too. She gasped awake with a coughing fit. She calmed down when she saw me.

Christina brought in a tray of tools, her jaw clenched. She set the tray down and walked over to Vinson. "I'm starting to not like this plan. We aren't hostile, why should we start now?"

He gave her a look that made her back out of the room. Two of his men stood watch by the door while he grabbed a scalpel and walked toward me with it. His greyish blue eyes stared into mine. "You're going to make me use this, aren't you?"

I stared back at him.

He nodded. "One more chance, what happened here? Why is the rest of Earth dead? Where is everyone else?"

My answer was a blink.

"Emo laik na don wamplei gon yu." (They're going to kill you). "Tel em em hogeda!" (Tell them everything)

Vinson dragged the scalpel along my forearm, a neat trail of nightblood appeared along with an inconvenient pain.

The three of them stared at the black blood in fascination.

Once Vinson was over it he danced the tip up to my cheek and applied pressure. "Can you answer the questions now?"

I spat in his face. "Yu gonplei ste odon soon pleni!" (Your fight will be over soon enough)

He wiped away the spit on the back of his sleeve, then produced a buck knife from his pants holster and held it to my throat. "I see it has to be the hard way then." He cut the front of my shirt open with the edge of the knife. His eyes held a sadistic pleasure before he sliced along my stomach.

I groaned in pain. For a heart-stopping moment I looked out at the hall at the passing bodies, a brown-haired man with a familiar broad build strolled by. His tan neck on display with his head turned to something out of my view. But before I could utter the words he turned and met my gaze. I filled with disappointment. For a moment I thought they could potentially have my friends on the ship, but if they did they wouldn't be surprised by all of this.

The man with curly hair turned away and moved along.

My head lowered as I tried to harden my facade.

"Answer the questions! What happened? Where are the rest of your people?"

"Klark!" Madi cried.

I gritted my teeth together to brace for the round of pain he would inflict next.

The blade cut my side. The line of blood soon trickled down my skin.

My hands balled together in their restraints.

"Tell us what we want to know, Clarke. See, unlike Bryson, I'm not above doing what I have to in order to survive. I will kill you without flinching," His cold eyes gazed into mine. "And I'll kill your little girl while I make you watch. That's the kind of man I am." He slid the tip along my neck. "Don't make me be that man today." He sneered at me, then reeled his fist back to hit me in the face.

My head fell to the side. I spit out a little blood.

He punched me again. "I can do this all day."

My eyes challenged his.

Ironically, I was now the grounder in torture from the prisoners of the sky. How easily the tables could turn.

He cut his eyes at my balled up fist then his eyes sparked to life. He walked over, forcefully open my hand to stab the knife through it.

A painful scream left me. My eyes brimmed with tears but I bit them back.

My instinct told me these weren't good people, that they'd hurt any other grounder if they could get information out of them. My instinct told me to keep our history a secret. But when he yanked the knife out and walked over to Madi I had to do what I had to do to protect her.

"I'll give you what you want!" I yelled. "Just don't hurt her!" My voice rang of weakness.

Madi was a weakness, but one that I embraced.

He turned on his heel to give me a brightened smirk. "I thought you'd change your tune." He looked to the side. "Get Zeke in here to bandage her up."

My blood created a small pile on the floor. I did my best not to cry out as Zeke returned to fix me up with a remorseful furrow set to his brow.

"You're crazy, you know that?" Zeke threw at Vinson.

"She's going to talk, ain't she?" He threw back.

Before I could open my mouth Bryson barreled into the room with an anger he didn't seem capable of before. "What have you done?" He commanded.

Vinson continued to stare at me. "I got the job done that you couldn't. She's going to give us what we want. All it took was a few minutes of pain." He wiped his hands off with a towel handed to him.

Christina returned out of breath and perhaps a little relieved. "I tried to stop him," She told Vinson.

Bryson raised his brow at her.

She gave a tight look before moving past him.

He came to loosen the restraints but she brought her arm out to hit his defined chest. "We can't just leave her tied up. She got the cruel point." He insisted.

She got in his face. "And if we let her go what do you think will happen? She could kill a few of us." She rolled her eyes from the look he gave her. "I'm not happy about this either but we know nothing and that could get us all killed. Is that what you want for our people?"

His strong jaw clenched. Indecision laid in his kind eyes. When he came to stand in front of me he radiated remorse. "When you tell us everything you know, we'll let you down. You give us a chance at surviving whatever it was that happened and we'll let you go."

I didn't think he had the authority to make that call but he was more persuasive than Vinson.

"You have my word." He promised.

My head nodded. I glanced at Madi.

She gave an encouraging half grin, what she could muster from her panic. I swallowed to wet my dry throat. With a heavy sigh, I went on, "I don't know how long you guys have been in hypersleep but down here it's 2155. When Earth was irradiated the first time we-"

"Klark," Madi interrupted. "Can I tell the story?"

They all looked at her.

I nodded for her to go on.

She brightened up a bit. "Once upon a time, there was a castle in the sky. The people that lived there were scared of the ground below. But the castle was dying so they decided to send the bad children down to the scary place to see if they could survive. In the beginning, there were a hundred of them."

"A hundred and one counting Bellamy," I interjected. She always forgot that part.

She looked at me. "A hundred and one. Right." Her eyes smug. "Anyway, they were alone with no parents so they did whatever the hell they wanted. Then the monsters came out. Some of them killed the children. Some took the children away to steal their bones. One even stole their minds. But the bad children fought back. They realized that together even bad children can do good things. They even began to see that some of the monsters were just like them."

They all looked entranced by the story.

"But when the parents came down to find their children they did not understand this. They just made things worse. The hundred fought for their land. They fought for their friends. Sometimes they fought against their own families. They tried to be the good guys but then they realized there are no good guys. And that they weren't children anymore. But it didn't matter. After all they did to survive it turned out that the scary place was haunted by a monster they could not kill. So they ran." She looked at me, loving the attention.

Bryson covered his mouth with his hand casually.

"They found a place that could save them. But they couldn't figure out how to share it until a hero rose from the ashes to unite them all. In the end, when the unkillable monster finally came not everyone made it inside. Eight warriors were forced to face the monster alone. They fought like they never fought before. But it wasn't enough. An initial one of the eight, the bravest and fairest of them all climbed the highest tower to cast a spell sending her friends back to the sky just as the monster roared in. If she had to die to save them, then she'd die. But she didn't because she had magic blood. Only now she was alone. Everyone she loved or cared about was gone. Trapped under the ground or lost in the sky. She thought she was the last person in the world but she was wrong. She found another. The most badass, correction, second most badass warrior on Earth. And they lived happily ever after."

"Good story, Madi."

She looked at me. "Klark, what happens if the monsters come back?"

I felt my protectiveness rise. "Then we'll kill them all."

Zeke cleared his throat. "Oh-kay..." He glanced around. "I know we've been locked up for a hundred plus years but what the hell is that?"

"Yeah," Christina walked toward me. "Do you think we're stupid? Monsters and warriors, magic blood. What is any of that supposed to mean?"

I didn't like her.

"It means that I was once you. Every single one of you. Terrified, hungry, emotional. Then we all learned the hard way that we weren't the only the people on the ground." I looked around the room.

They looked amongst themselves.

Bryson cleared his throat again. "What does that mean? You know where the others are? They can give us shelter and food?"

His hope made me give a wry laugh. "Not unless you can help me dig them from the rubble." I almost felt sad for them, they should've stayed in hypersleep. "Welcome to the ground."

Christina moved toward Bryson. "She speared Jace. He's dead because of her. Are we just going to let that slide?"

"Your friend isn't dead." I stared at her. "He'll make it but only if you take me to him."

Her brown eyes narrowed. "Why should we believe you?"

I leaned forward. "Because I poisoned him. And you won't find the cure. He'll be dead before the day's out. That's if the animals don't get to him first."

She turned to Vinson. "He's dead. She'll never help us after you tortured her." She threw the blame on him.

Bryson stepped closer to me. "If I let you go will you take me to him?"

"She'll never-"

"I'll do it." I interrupted Christina. "I'll do it."

Bryson reminded me of me. A younger, more naive, and hopeful version of me, but still me.

He nodded. "Thank you." He easily worked my restraints.

I stumbled to the floor.

Zeke caught me. "You okay, Clarke?"

My eyes went to Madi. "Yeah," I pushed him off to go free Madi from her handcuffs.

She attacked me with a hug. "Don't leave me here." Her voice trembled.

"If you come with us you have to stay by my side. No wondering off."

She nodded vigorously against my chest. "Nou get yu daun." (Don't worry)

It hadn't felt like such a display piece since my Wanheda days. Vinson insisted our hands be tied up, if I were in their shoes I would insist the same. So Madi and I lead the way with old-fashioned metal handcuffs around our wrists.

A few minutes into the walk Madi turned to me with understanding. "Yu laik nou na aid em laik yu?" (You're not really going to help them, are you?)

I stared straight ahead. "No, ai laik nou." (No, I'm not)

Her little blue eyes burned into my face. "Chit laik yu na do kom em?" (What are you going to do to them?)

"Teik a klir graun teik em out." (Let the traps take them out)

The disappointment rolling off of her didn't escape me.

"Yu get klin mou beda." (You know better).

"Chil au," (Stay calm). "Ai ge osir odon gon disha." (I'll get us out of this)

Vinson huffed. "I wish we knew what the hell they were saying."

I didn't have a choice. The bad man would go first. He'd probably take a few of them with him. There was time to pull Bryson out the line of danger when the time came. That I'd do for Madi and maybe for myself to prove I wasn't all bad. Or perhaps I was. Perhaps the six years hadn't taught me as much as I liked to think.

BELLAMY'S POV:

Flashback

To walk through these halls again was to be back home in a way I never thought possible. Space wasn't home anymore, it hadn't been for a long time. Home had been Earth. Home had been Arkadia. Home had been Clarke. Now I didn't have any of that.

A clear glass, aged bottle of alcohol sat in the large window that displayed our burning Earth with dark brown, red, purple, and green. All a swirl of death and destruction. All a product of humanity's worst habits.

I reached out for the bottle that read 'The Baton', sealed with red candle wax. With it in my hand, I couldn't help but think back to our early time on the ground; when I told Clarke to have a drink before we went to war, when I asked her to come inside after Mount Weather. 'Have one for me' she had told me.

My eyes ran over the bottle, then they went back to the unforgettable tragedy below us, completely out of our control.

Raven walked my way and stopped beside me.

I glanced at her.

"She saved us again," She noted.

I looked at her and nodded with the little energy I had.

She tried not to get emotional. "You think we can do this without her?"

My jaw clenched. I couldn't rip my gaze away from no doubt what had been Clarke's fiery death to make sure we got to live. "If we don't she died in vain," I wanted to go back down there and search for her but even if I could get back I wouldn't last a second in the atmosphere. "And I'm not going to let that happen." My eyes eventually went to Raven. "You with me?"

She looked at me. "Always."

A few weeks went by of my standing by the window with my eyes on the planet in catastrophe. I'd take a shot of the vodka and curse myself for being so stupid, for not coming forward with my feelings. At least I'd have an answer, not just an unknown void of how she felt. Maybe things would've been different. Maybe it wouldn't have been Clarke that went. Maybe it would've been Echo left behind and Clarke up here with me.

Raven stood in the hallway, she always was the one to come get me. "Hey, we're having dinner if you want to join?"

My tired eyes couldn't muster up the energy to look her way. "I'm not hungry."

"You're never hungry."

That's what kind of happens when you lose your home, your sister, and your best friend all at once. I could go back down over time, I could see Octavia when it was safe, but I could never hold Clarke again. Or tell her I was glad I snuck down on the dropship. Or put my fingers in her golden hair as we hugged our pain away.

Silence filled the air.

She sighed. "Bellamy, you gotta eat. We need you up here. I need you."

My eyes dropped to my empty cup. "What's the point to all this, Raven?" I looked up at her. "Why'd we survive all of Earth's trials to only end up back up here? What was the point of it all?"

"You're drunk,"

I shook my head. "I'm just talking." My words slurred.

"Well, I can't make you eat. You know where is it when you want it." She gave me a parting look before she left me alone.

Soon the bottle became empty. Soon I realized that I couldn't drown my sorrows any longer. I had to feel it.

It was cold here. I forgot how cold. No Sun. No rain. No fresh air. We were stuck and I wanted to scream into the void.

I stumbled to my poor excuse of a room. There wasn't much of anything in it that I could trash so I throw the crate by the pile of blankets. I ripped or tried to rip my only source of warmth at night. My shoe kicked the wall as a holler left me.

She was gone.

"Hey, calm down." Murphy tried to stop me.

I shoved him back so my fist could pound into the wall.

"He's piss drunk again." Monty noted before he left.

"Bellamy," Raven arrived. "Get out, everyone. Now." She made her way to me. She slapped me across the face. "You need to get a hold of yourself."

My face stung from her blow but it was nothing in comparison to how my heart felt. "What's the point? She's dead."

"I understand."

The anger inside boiled. "Understand what?" I drilled holes into her with my eyes.

She didn't waver. "That you loved her."

My eyes burned. Regret filled me. "I didn't tell her..." My throat grew thick with tears. "I didn't tell her how I..." I stared at Raven helplessly. The tears I held back for weeks finally spilled over as I cried out.

She rushed to hug me. "I'm sorry."

My head fell to her shoulder. While her comfort was what I needed, she wasn't Clarke.

"She's dead, Raven."

Her hold on me tightened. "I know. I miss her too."

Clarke was in my DNA, without her I didn't know how to move forward. I didn't want to let her go.

Three months later

I stood in the window not doing much of anything but standing and staring.

"You think you're going to get a tan like that?" Echo asked.

The Deathwave still swirled around Earth. Time for joking had long passed.

She moved toward me. "It's okay, I know you have nothing left. Neither do I."

I cut my eye at her. "Is that why you're here? To start a book club?"

Her head shook. "No, I came to talk to you. You're the only one in this place that gets it."

"I'm sure Emori will lend an ear." I waved her off.

She came to lean against the window. "She and I are very different. Plus she has John. I have no one."

My brow lifted at her. "And that makes you think we are the same?"

She shrugged. "Why not? The people we care about most are on the ground, presumably dead."

In my heart, I felt like Clarke was still alive. That wouldn't ever die out. I just had to convince my head to let her go.

"But then again, maybe not." She pulled something from her coat pocket.

It was a radio, a horrible looking radio, but still a radio.

I wasn't sure what to say so I looked at her.

"Raven didn't want to get your hopes up until she knew it could work." She handed it over.

It sat heavy in my hands. Communication was now possible. If there was anybody out there to communicate with.

"Maybe now you'll pick your heart up off the floor." She said, then walked away.

Eager to test out the radio I sank to the floor. "Is anybody out there? Over."

It became a waiting game. Every few minutes I'd send my message out with no answer in return. Days passed with me at that window with a singular motivation. Hear a familiar voice.

Monty came with a few of my things so I could get as comfortable as I could in a place like this. He came back later with food.

"Thanks," I muttered tiredly.

He nodded. He made it to the exit then turned around. "Try switching between FM and AM."

After he left I did as instructed. "Can anybody hear me? Come in. Over." With no answer after a minute I was about to give up for the day or night, it was hard to tell here.

"Bellamy, it's been ninety-two days since Praimfaya. I'm alive, obviously." Clarke's voice wrapped around me.

My heart stopped in my chest. She was alive.

"I'm doing okay on food, but I think I'm already starting to go insane." She gave a wry laugh. "That's not good."

I stood to my feet. My eyes gazed out at the cloud of radiation that had gradually simmered down. Somehow I couldn't get a word out.

"My hope is that the bunker will stay sealed until the air's breathable again. Being that I already know I can survive it I'll just have to keep going outside to see what's survivable."

My head shook. No, I wanted to say. Don't do that.

"I hope that you're all alive up there. I hope that you're okay."

"Clarke," I finally got it out. "I'm here." A smile found my face.

She sighed. "Maybe that's the hardest part of all of this, not knowing if you actually made it."

What?

I cleared my throat and made sure the button was pressed down. "Princess, I'm here." I gave a nod in good faith. "I made it."

She cried into the receiver. "I don't know how to do this without you. Any of it." She sobbed.

My head hung when I realized she couldn't hear me. "Clarke," I said anyway. I pressed the radio to my forehead.

She composed herself. "When I said you had heart I meant it. Without you, I don't have much of one. I'm all alone down here." She sniffled. "I need you, Bellamy."

Tears fogged my eyes. "I need you too, Clarke." Damn, did I need her. Without her, I was all emotion and not enough head. I made stupid decisions. Like leaving her down there.

"I know you're not there but I don't have anyone else, so like the day before and the week before that I'll be here. Everyday. The same time. I'm not sure what good it'll do but I need to hold onto something."

A few moments passed of her uncertainty to let the call die before she wasn't there anymore.

I peered out the inflamed planet, wondering how long the lab would hold up. That had to be where she was.

With the good news, I made it to the lounge area.

They all looked up from the game they were playing, probably freaked out by the happy expression on my face.

Raven stepped forward. A speculative look in her eyes. "It worked, didn't it? You heard someone?"

"Clarke," I said with an air of lightness. "I heard Clarke. She's alive."

They all stilled in disbelief.

"How is that even possible? Earth is soaked in radiation." Murphy exclaimed. "No one, not even a nightblood should be able to survive those levels that soon."

My head shook. "I don't know how but she did. She was talking to me. Kind of. I-I didn't get to speak with her directly. The walkie couldn't connect us. She thinks we're all dead."

Raven held her hand up. "I believe you, I'll just run some tests to make sure. Maybe a routine psych eval wouldn't hurt." She reached a tentative hand out for the radio.

I held it away. My forehead creased as I stared at her. "You think I'm crazy?" I looked at all of them, watching them give me pitiful stares. "You all think I'm crazy?" I backed away from them. "I heard her voice."

I was sure of it.

The heavier their disbelief rang in their expressions the less I believed myself. What if I hadn't heard Clarke's voice? What if I was going crazy from deep space? What if I imagined the entire radio conversation?

The guilt I buried for leaving her behind flooded to the surface. My pain spilled over.

I was going to turn to Raven for comfort but Echo got to me first. Her closeness generally made me uncomfortable because I didn't trust her but in that moment it was what I needed. Something to distract from the heartache inside. I embraced her hold.

"We can wait for her to reach out again. We'll keep the line open." Raven insisted, but I could tell she didn't believe it was a possibility purely from the math she'd done for the time it would've taken Clarke to get back to the lab. By her calculations, it was damn near impossible.

That was the beauty of Clarke, she always beat the odds.

Nine months later.

It had been a year since I started coming and sitting in view of the window, Earth just outside of it, and listened to Clarke's messages every day. The others were shocked to find that I was right, that she was indeed alive.

Raven tried repeatedly to modify the radio so we could get in contact with her but she just couldn't get it to work. She feared if she fiddled with it anymore that she'd fry it. "Is the chance worth it?" She had asked. "To be able to talk to her again or possibly not hearing her voice."

I took a few days to think about it before I told her we'd get back down there eventually. Until then I could handle not being able to respond. Or that's what I thought all those months ago.

Loving Clarke would forever be a part of me but I couldn't go four more years like that, my wholeness dependent upon hearing her voice every day. Most of my time revolved around this room, looking out that window. That wasn't a way to live. And that was the point to all of this, to live. If she knew what I was doing she wouldn't be happy about it. She'd tell me to move on.

The real question was could I ever truly move on from Clarke when she set the bar so high? It wasn't until her that I believed in soulmates. Not that they had to be romantic but I believed our souls were meant to touch each other's, that they were forever connected. I believed she felt the same way. You didn't go through what we did together and not. Hell, her messages had long since turned borderline passionate.

Her message today wasn't any different. "I don't know if I can make it four more years, Bell." Her voice cracked. "Four more years of not knowing, of hoping that when you come down we can, if you come down...I don't know." She gathered herself. "I miss you. Everyday. Maybe I should but I don't want to let you go."

I silently prayed that she didn't. How selfish when I was faced with making the same choice.

On the off chance, she actually got my messages I always held the button down as if she did. "I miss you too, Princess." I thought of the friendship I forged with Echo, how she became my sounding board of all people. She wasn't subtle about wanting something more. The only thing holding me back was this part of my day. I liked Echo. Maybe I wasn't in love with her but I wanted the chance to find out because I couldn't make it through this for four more years and not lose myself completely. And maybe we wouldn't be together today or tomorrow but I deserved the chance to find out.

"I'm sorry," My eyes stung. I uttered the words I never thought would leave my mouth when it came to Clarke. "I wish things were different. I wish I were down there with you, but I'm not, and I won't be for a while." My eyes closed. "I know I'm asking a lot but I need you to do me a favor." My tears leaked over. "I need you to let me go, Clarke."

She began to cry again. "I can't." She sobbed. "I can't do it, Bell."

I knew she couldn't hear me but it still hurt nonetheless.

"Maybe one day I can, just not today."

My hand wiped at my face.

That was the difference between us now, I had to let her go today.

"Goodbye, Clarke." My hand twisted the volume down until it was off completely.

I stood, the back of my sleeve wiped the rest of the wetness from my eyes. I would no doubt feel guilt for the rest of my days up here for leaving her alone. She didn't know I was there but I still felt obligated to listen. She probably thought she was the only person alive with no contact from the bunker. How could I leave her hanging emotionally when I had already done it physically? It would be hard but I knew I had to.

Footsteps brought me to attention.

Echo came to a stop in the entryway. She looked at me with understanding eyes. "You did it,"

I nodded.

"You okay?" She took a step forward.

I took one toward her. "I will be."

Her gaze momentarily went to the side before she met mine again. "You want to get some dinner? I hear the algae is crisp tonight."

I came to realize she was surprisingly funny when she wasn't worried about her duty to her clan. She was actually zen up here, something that I needed around me if I was going to make it through the rest of our time up here.

A half grin fell on my lips. "Yeah, I'd like that." I started for her.

We walked side by side.

She tried to hide her grin with a frown and then pressed her lips together.

She may not be Clarke but she was my friend, one that I was attracted to, one that I wouldn't mind being intimate with once I healed up a bit more.

Five years later.

The day we were supposed to go home was the worst day of all of our lives because it didn't happen. Monty and Raven worked to get everything in order only for the thrusters to not operate. Without them, we were sitting in a launch pod that couldn't go anywhere.

For days they tried different things but nothing worked. It was a series of mixed emotions all around. We thought we'd get to see our friends again, our family. I got my hopes up too high and Echo and I were forced to take a break. She thought I didn't have Clarke out of my system and maybe I didn't but I couldn't help that I wanted to see her and my sister after five years of separation.

We eventually worked things out. I had to re-accept that this was life for an extended amount of time. It became easier when I gave up all hope of ever going back to Earth.

Our relationship wasn't the only one put to the test. Monty and Harper were constantly on again and off again. Not being able to escape the person you love at times puts added pressure on a relationship. But they were considered one of the lucky ones.

Due to an accident that none of us could have seen coming, Emori was sucked into space when one of the screws had fallen out of a panel, the hatch opened up unexpectedly. She was gone before we could save her.

Murphy was a mess for a long time, probably longer than I was. Two years later and he was able to laugh again and dish out smart ass one-liners. I don't think any of us could've done that besides Raven. They'd grown close in Emori's death. Closer than they were when she was alive.

Raven wouldn't admit it to Murphy but I knew she cared about him in a way that he was blind to. It wasn't my place to tell him, she would have to buck up herself.

We all sat in the mess hall as we ate the same algae that we had every day.

"Six years and it still tastes like ass," Murphy added.

Harper laughed.

Raven lifted her brow at me. "You think it tastes like ass?"

I nodded. "Pretty much."

Echo smiled at me.

"Reyes," Murphy turned to her. "You think tomorrow you can season it a bit?"

Her head tilted. "Sure, Cockroach. I'll get right on that right after I manage to get our piss to not taste like piss."

He raised a hand. "Just a suggestion."

"You can take that suggestion and shove it up your tight, scrawny ass." She sometimes didn't know how to control her feelings for him so she hide them under fake animosity that flew past him every time.

His hand flattened against his chest as he looked at us. "A little hostile but I think that was a compliment, what about you guys?"

Monty gave him a knowing look before he kicked his chair leg and he fell back to the floor.

Echo and I laughed together.

When we finished dinner she held out her hand. "Come on, I've got something set up for us."

I grabbed hers with a grin.

We weren't perfect for each other by any means but we were happy. We worked together. Up here that was all we could ask for.

She splayed out a few blankets with two cups and a bottle of what looked like alcohol.

"Where'd you find that?" I asked excitedly.

We sat down in view of a darkened Earth with one spot of green.

"In an old box hidden away. There were a few more but I figured we'd only need the one." She said with suggestion in her dark eyes.

I grinned at her. "Oh yeah?" I leaned in for a kiss.

She nodded. "Yeah," She said almost against my lips.

I pulled away. "Well, I think we should share with the others." I moved like I was getting up.

Her laughter filled the room as she pulled me back to her. "Bellamy,"

We smiled at each other.

I moved in for a kiss, one that I could count on to get me through the rest of this life. When I moved back she gave me that look of hers that assured me she wasn't going anywhere if she had a say in the matter.

We poured ourselves a cup then leaned against each other, our chatter gave us amusement.

With my arm around her, I had almost fallen asleep when I glanced at the window. I stilled, then shook her awake.

She grunted for me to leave her alone.

"You're going to want to see this." I slapped her ass. "Now wake up."

One of her eyes shot a sleepy dagger at me. "This better be good."

I pointed to the ship heading for Earth.

She stilled too. "They're going to the ground."

I untangled from the blankets to stand. "We have to get the others." I caught Monty before everyone else.

"This better be good, I was working on something." Raven told me.

They too didn't believe the sight before them.

"Who are they?" It was a question none of us could know.

Raven limped back down the hall with determination.

Murphy followed her. "Do you know something?"

We followed them.

"I remember reading about a corporation sending up prisoners to mine for them in 2048. I wonder if it could be them?"

"If it's them they're about to be really pissed off." He added.

Raven stopped. "That's it."

We stopped.

She turned to us with the wheels turning in her head.

"What are you thinking?" Monty asked.

Her hand went to Murphy's shoulder. "You're a genius."

He nodded. "What did I do?"

"Pee," She looked at Monty. "We can use our pee!" She moved toward him. "Think about it,"

He wasn't connecting the dots like she had.

"We could filter out the contaminants, the water could potentially turn to hydrogen gas." She waited for him to reach the rest of the plan.

His eyes widened. "We'd just need to create a powder similar to borax."

The rest of us looked at each other in confusion.

Murphy sighed. "We're not following, Oh Big Brains."

"Then we'd have to build a portable generator built to withstand combustion." Raven thought out loud. "We could use the water acclimator."

Monty began to pace while he thought. "This could work."

Harper sighed. "What the hell are you two talking about?"

They turned to us.

Raven gave a hopeful grin. "I think I found a way for us to get back to Earth."

Her words sunk in after several moments. 'Get back to Earth'. Get back to my sister. I could get back to Clarke.

My eyes looked to Echo.

She stared at me with defeat before she finally looked away.

I tried to tell her that this if it worked, it wouldn't change anything but the words wouldn't come.

Raven gave me a knowing look with a raised brow. "If we do this then our water acclimator is gone and our watered down piss will actually be piss."

None of us were excited about that.

I gave a nod back. "Do it."

A/N: I got the idea for pee fuel from my own head then I read an article that debunked it but I still thought the method sounded believable enough to work in science fiction. Also, sorry for the translations being formatted oddly but it was the only way I found that didn't distract from being in the story presently. Otherwise, with a key you'd have to stop at the place you're at, scroll to the top and find the phrase. Not in my house. Anyways, if yall want more let me know. I'm interested to hear what yall think of the relationships this chapter.

I'd like to point out that I'm torn between Bellamy being with Raven and Echo in space, only in space. I'm Bellarke to the core, rest assured. However, in space I think that logically Raven and Bellamy make more sense and I like their friendship. I'm not partial to Echo but I am excited that Tasya is now a series regular so we can see more of her and get to see a side of Echo that could make us like her. I'm actually really excited to see who she becomes in space when on the ground her only purpose was being loyal to Roan and her clan. That was her whole development. Without that purpose driving her who is she? Anyway, the biggest reason I went with Becho and not Rellamy in this is because on the show I don't want to see Raven and Bellamy be in love in space and once they get to the ground and find Clarke see that unravel in a way that hurts Raven. She deserves better than that (bitch I ship Maven/Murven, which is kinda weird for me considering my last bellarke fic was heavily Moctavia) and I don't want to see another love interest of Raven's slip through her fingers to go be with Clarke. At least, if you don't ship Becho then we can get over that break up when Bellarke inevitably happens. I'd actually like to see Becho last a bit on the ground despite Bellarke growing closer again and Echo being the one to end things so we can see her independent and trying to be happy on her own. Also, I killed Emori cuz I didn't feel like writing for her. I like her okay but not enough to waste time on her. I suppose that death was uncalled for, but whatcha gonna do? Thoughts?