It's been about three years now since my life ended. Okay, well, my life didn't exactly end. It's just the one person who I needed more than anything had left me. Edward Cullen. He told me it was for the best. Doesn't he know the best thing for me was just for him to be with me? Sometimes, he truly was an idiot. Every time I think about him, a huge hole in my chest opens and I feel like dying. I thought about him constantly. These past three years have been hell. However, I kept going on for the people around me. First there was Charlie, my dear father. He hated to see my upset. There was always this fake smile across my face whenever I was around him. Then there was Jacob. Jacob had tried so hard to get closer to me. And I have to admit, I'm in love with him. He helped to pick up the pieces of my heart and tape it back together after Edward left me. Jacob and I had gone out a couple of times. It made Charlie happy so I would be happy to oblige. I moved away from Forks not long after Edward left. I moved to the Pocono's up in Pennsylvania. East Stroudsburg University is a really good school. Jacob moved here the second he could to be with me. He told me once that he didn't trust me by myself. Because he thought I might have killed myself one day. I told him that was never going to happen but Jacob will be Jacob, I suppose. He and I live together in a small apartment in the city of Stroudsburg. We travel to school together and have fun together. And, I'll admit it; we did share our number of "intimate" moments. But we never got THAT far. I told Jacob that this was probably as far as it was going to get. He didn't mind. All that mattered to him was my happiness. And I was grateful to him for that.
I woke up early on a sunny Saturday
morning. I sat up and thought to myself.
'I guess he's
staying inside today huh?'
Again, I was thinking about him
and the hole in my chest began to hurt. Jacob knocked on my door and
came in with a cup of coffee in his hands. What a lifesaver. I needed
coffee to really wake up. So, yeah, call me a coffee whore.
"Morning,
Bells."
I loved Jacob. I really did. He looked amazing. His
russet colored skin, his sleek black hair, his tall physical stature.
Yes, he looked really good, but I still think Edward looks better in
a way. I smiled and looked at him.
"Hiya, Jake. Thanks for the
cup of joe."
"No problem. Don't want you to be all bitchy
this morning."
I smacked him in the arm and he laughed. He had
such a cute laugh, but, yet again it couldn't compare to the
musical laugh of Edward's. I always found myself comparing them.
And always, Edward would win, hand's down.
"Thank god it's
Saturday. I really don't wanna do anything today."
"Well
actually Bells, I have plans for us."
My eyes widened in shock.
"You do?"
"Yeah I thought we could go out for dinner and
stuff, you know? It's been a while since we had a date."
"Sure
Jacob, we'll go on a date. Nothing too fancy, okay?"
"Of
course not. A plain old date for plain old Bella."
I smiled and
him and found myself edging closer to him. I put my head on his chest
and closed my eyes. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my
forehead. I giggled and looked up at him. He pulled himself closer
and kissed my lips. Kisses with Jacob were totally different than
with Edward. Jacobs's lips were so warm and soft. And not to
mention, we didn't need any physical boundaries. But Edward's
kisses were to die for. Sure, his lips were ice cold and hard, but he
had a much more gentle nature in his kiss. Jacob was rough sometimes.
It's hard to decide who's better on that one.
Jacob broke
away and smiled at me. We decided we would hang out today before our
date. I ran into the bathroom, beating Jacob by a hair. I stuck my
tongue out at him and laughed. I turned on the water and stripped
myself of clothing and hopped in. the water was so warm. It almost
reminded me of Jacob's warmth. I smiled and I could feel myself
blushing in the shower while I thought about him. I got out and put
on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Simple enough. Jacob didn't care
what I dressed like. I got out and gestured my hands to show him that
the shower was available. He laughed and ran in. His showers were
much shorter than mine. He came back out and was only wearing a pair
of jeans and socks. His black hair was dripping wet. I looked at
him.
"Jacob, you do plan on putting on a shirt right? I mean,
after all, we will be in public."
"Aw Bells, I know you like
me without a shirt. Don't deny it."
Okay, when he wasn't
wearing his shirt, he looked incredible. His body was perfectly toned
and his chest was built like a god. I shook my head.
"In your
dreams Jacob. Now put on a shirt and shoes and let's roll."
He
grabbed a shirt from the top of his dresser and put on his shoes. We
ran out to his Rabbit. We decided to go to campus for a little while
and hang with a couple of our friends. After spending some time
chit-chatting, it was already time for lunch. Jacob and I went to
this little café in the city of Stroudsburg. Jacob took my
hand and looked into my brown eyes. It kinds scared me a little bit
how serious his glare looked. It was if something was going to happen
tonight. I didn't know so I shook it off. After lunch, we just
walked around Main Street. Jacob held my hand the entire time. It was
seriously starting to weird me out with how strange he was acting.
Finally it was time for dinner; we went to this little restaurant on
the outskirts of the city. When Jacob stopped the car, he tuned
around and kissed me in such a passionate way. It left me breathless.
I pulled my lips away from his but that didn't stop him. He moved
his way down to my neck. It startled me when he began to suck my
neck. I looked at him and he smiled. We made out way into the
restaurant. It was so beautiful. It was old fashioned. Jacob knew I
liked old things. He kissed my head and we made our way to the
table.
Dinner was amazing. It was a candle lit dinner with a
single rose on the table. And not to mention, the food was
spectacular. Jacob really knew how to charm a girl. Finally, we paid
and went home. During the drive, Jacob and I talked about random,
silly things. When we got inside the apartment, he closed the door
and looked at me with such passion. I had to take a step back from
his glare.
"Jacob? What's up with you?"
Next thing I
know, he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me. He lifted my feet
off of the ground and carried me into his bedroom. He put me on the
bed and got on top of me. The kiss became rougher and even more
passionate than before.
Jacob wanted to push our relationship.
I
didn't know how to really react to all of this. He wanted to have
sex. I pulled my lips away from him, even though I didn't really
want too.
"Jacob. What's with the sudden….urge?'
Jacob
picked up his head.
"My darling Bella, I want you. More than you
know. I need you Bella. Please."
He began to feel me up. I let
out the smallest moan and he began to kiss me again.
That was the
night that I lost my virginity to Jacob Black.
