Disclaimer: I do not own anything that I have written. Yep, that is right, I own not even one iota of the below work.
Warnings: Cannon violence, sexuality, and blood. Possibly worse language than the actual movie. Will contain homosexual relationships.
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Prologue
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Around an event horizon, time bends, possibilities merge, and old timelines come to the forefront. And sometimes second chances come with the heaviest of burdens.
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A few weeks after the singularity, everything had fallen apart. It was no one on Team Flash's fault, logically the whole group knew that, but the hurt, the pain, none of that was fading anytime soon. Gradually, or not so gradually, members started to shift around – No one wanted to see the familiar faces that brought back such heavy and feeling sodden memories.
Caitlin was leaving – No one blamed her, she was couldn't bring herself to even set foot in STAR Labs.
Iris was experiencing harsh grief for what could have been, so cruelly stolen away.
Cisco was trying his best to lose himself in his inventions, and was failing every time he saw something that reminded him of 'Doctor Wells'.
Joe was trying and falling to console Iris, and failing horribly, but staying determined to at least try.
Then, there was Bartholomew Henry Allen best known as The Flash.
Barry was running himself ragged. Guilt mixed with anger at himself and Eobard Thawne, the situation itself, just everything, mixed together. He tried his best to help rebuild, to place the jigsaw puzzle of a city back together again. The people were healing, even after only two weeks, showing just how strong humanity was yet again. Barry though was getting worse.
Ever since the singularity, Barry had been noticing some... oddities about himself. Normally, he would go to Caitlin, but that was no longer an option with her unable to even enter the labs without breaking apart. It wasn't exactly affecting his performance, so The Flash tried to ignore it. No matter what, he was better off than Fire Storm, that much was clear. Really, he had no right to complain at all. At least, that's what he felt until the memories started to tinkle in.
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His body felt both the heaviest and the lightest it had ever been. Bolts of lightning, no, Speed Force, ran through his body so fast that it was almost like falling apart and being put back together again at every moment, every second, millisecond... and Barry could see himself, his past self, his weak self, and watched as that version spoke.
"I'm going to kill you." The weak version promised, his tone dark, but it was a lie.
And Savitar felt laughter trying to bubble its way out of his chest. In a weird way, he knew the words that were going to leave his mouth before they even did – he was the Future Flash after all, and the words were just so true that they were undeniable. Armour plates shifted, and heavy armour seemed like such a cumbersome thing, and after swallowing back the hollow laughter, Savitar spoke, "If you had the strength to end my life, you would have done it in the future. But Barry Allen doesn't kill. He's the good guy. The boy Joe raised. The man Iris loves. You have everything. And deserves none of it. I'm gonna destroy this city like I did in the future, so you can see the truth, Barry. And then, you'll treat me like a god."
'You don't deserve it... I never did. You're going to become me because you already are if you would only admit it. Greedy, greedy Barry Allen, always saving yourself from pain, ignoring the consequences and letting the pain fall to his allies shoulders.'
Like
A
God
'Oh sweet Barry Allen, that liked to pretend that his hands were so untainted, liked to pretend that he hadn't killed before.'
'Liked to pretend that he didn't imprison people for months without proper human necessities.'
'Barry Allen who liked to play the hero, when in so many others eyes, he wasn't much more than the villain. You become me when you finally admit it Barry, finally fall prey to your own darkness, and you will. You will become me. You will become Savitar. No matter how fast you run, where you hide, or what clever ideas your friends come up with, you will become ME!'
"You're not a God!" The weak one protested, perhaps even spat.
'But we will be Barry, we will be.'
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More and more, memories were starting to come to him. Memories of horrible things that he'd done, just scraps, flashes, if you will, of actions in a previous timeline. A timeline where Barry became Savitar, killed Iris West, and created himself, forever.
Barry didn't know what to do about it either.
Three weeks after the Singularity, and Barry just knew.
There was no stopping the memories, this was beyond anything Cisco or Caitlin could fix. Another Speedster could help, maybe, but there wasn't another one, and Barry at the moment wasn't fast enough to travel between worlds. Cisco also hadn't discovered the ability yet.
Yet.
What a funny word, because now Barry knew that Cisco had that ability, or would have it in the future. Even knowing that, and everything that happened with Savitar should have simply deleted or changed those memories. It didn't though, and Barry could only assume that the reason he was getting them was that of the Singularity. The timeline no longer existed but in shattered remnants, and one of those remnants, Savitar, collided with Barry. Even though it no longer existed, because of the nature of the Singularity and the Speed Force, Barry remembered something that would no longer come to pass.
It wouldn't come to pass, after all. Barry wouldn't allow it.
Even with the feeling of Iris' blood soaking through his armour, sticking to his fingers in a sickeningly familiar way.
Maybe Barry could have stuck around in different circumstances. Maybe he could have brought himself to fight through the pain to stay with Iris and the others. Now though, now Barry felt too much revulsion, shame, and it was overflowing. There was an understanding with Caitlin that Barry had hoped he'd never feel, but he knew that if he so much as looked at Iris West, there would be no stopping him from shattering.
So, question, what does The Flash do when he's upset, or feeling overwhelmed?
He runs.
"Hey Olli, do you think I could stay here for awhile?"
