Title: Absurdity Of The Highest Level
Author/Artist: CrimsonDreamer13
Fandom(s): Sherlock Holmes/Iron Man
Character(s) or Pairing(s):
Sherlock Holmes, Tony Stark, John H. Watson
Rating:
PG for Perverse Gadabout [which is definitely not Tony. Of course not.]
Warnings: Implications of two men having coitus wherein Tony is the perverted old man and Holmes is the helpless (?) victim. Watson is merely the voyeur [who has bad timing].
Summary: It was an explosion caused by some of Holmes' chemicals; the pair recalled somewhat vaguely, that brought them into the world of modern technology- as well as to the home of a certain Tony Stark. Ficlet.


"You're an interesting man, Sherlock. Very interesting. You don't mind if I call you Sherlock, do you?" Tony Stark smiled with a hint of deviousness as he walked closer to said interesting man, who was currently glancing from the corner of his eyes for some sort of escape from him and his curious advances.

"I would prefer that you call me Holmes, Stark. It is more proper that way." Sherlock Holmes shot him a stern look as he had, unfortunately, backed into a wall. Tony could only grin when he saw the glare being shot at him, taking the opportunity to place a hand firmly on the wall beside the other man's head, leaning close so that their noses were almost touching. "Ah? I'm not one for being 'proper', if I do say so myself." He grinned again as he tilted upwards the clean-shaven man's chin, a sultry expression appearing on his face as he murmured, "Though I do think that most pleasurable things are not proper..."

Sherlock remained calm in spite of their proximity, uttering in reply, "I'd prefer not to do such things with you, Stark. There may have been times that I went against the law, but it was only for the greater good. I would rather that I not be called a sodomite and accused of gross indecency because of irrational thinking from your side." He sighed dejectedly after a minute, muttering to himself as he looked away from the other man. "I truly wonder what went into my dear doctor's mind when he thought that you could help us get back to our true timeline."

"It's because I can help you get back to your real timeline, mister Sherlock Holmes." Tony stated with pride while wagging his index finger at the unofficial detective's face. "You should trust your doctor's instincts more, seriously. Now, where were we..?"

"We were just planning on how you were going to create some sort of machinery to return the good doctor and me to our original timeline."

"Tut tut, Sherlock," Tony sighed in mock exasperation as he backed away from the other man (which certainly earned Holmes a sigh of relief), "Weren't we just planning on how we were going to my room and-"

Sherlock placed a hand to his forehead as he hissed in irritation, "Please do not say such vulgar things, Stark. Someone might hear, and you of all people should know what will happen if anyone ever fully understood the implication of your words." Tony only smirked in response, tracing a finger across the thinner man's jaw as he spoke, "You have already deduced what I truly want to imply, haven't you?" He chuckled as he saw the grimace on Sherlock's face, continuing, "But if you really prefer that dear Watson of yours-"

The shattering of porcelain made both men jolt as they whipped their heads around to look at the doorway, a shocked Doctor John H. Watson looking back at them as his hands trembled in sheer disbelief at the sight of his friend and their new acquaintance in an intimate position. He didn't even bother to look down at the mess of tea and porcelain he made on the floor.

"...oh fuck."

If only Tony knew how much his last words were going to be dead-on in later events.


A/N: My first Sherlock Holmes fanfiction, and it's a crossover. I don't know what I was thinking at the time either, if any of you are asking what the hell I was on when I did this. Hopefully you readers still enjoyed it!