Once upon a time there was a beautiful blonde damsel called Goldilocks who was walking… no, not in the forest of the Three Bears' House; that Knotty Fairytale has already been told. Actually, she was walking in the shopping mall with her best friend, Red Riding Hood.
The two grown women carried small purses, large shopping bags, and tall beverage cups. Red Riding Hood wore her famous red hooded cape over a corset-style short dress of red, pink, white, and black. White stockings and black high-heeled pumps completed her outfit. Goldilocks wore pastel-blue and white sneakers, cobalt-blue cheerleader shorts, and a green t-shirt advertising Tropikal Treazure Kiwi-Lime Soda in pink letters.
"Hey, Goldi, you like this?" asked Red Riding Hood, pausing outside the Chic Chick Shack to admire a flowery sundress. She sipped thoughtfully on her straw. "The colors are perfect for… Goldi! Where are you?"
She turned around and around, searching among the crowd. She could not find her friend, but she did spot someone she recognized. "Wolfy!" she cried out.
"Hey, baby," The Wolf replied, sliding to her side. He was a real wolf, but one who walked on two legs, wore human clothes, and could speak English. He was also absolutely fascinated by human women, so Red Riding Hood scowled at him and demanded:
"Have you done something with Goldilocks, Wolfy?"
"No, baby," he exclaimed in shocked denial. "What makes you say that?"
"Don't you look so surprised. You tie up damsels all the time, including me, as you well know, so, since Goldi has disappeared, I naturally…."
"Relax, baby," The Wolf told her lazily. "She's right over there, talking with that guy, whatshisname."
Whatshisname was Rudolf. He was a lean, awkward, young man, whose body parts seemed all out of proportion to one another. He wore a white dress shirt with a tight collar and sleeves too short for his lanky arms, and black trousers. A few seconds earlier Goldilocks had spied him, so she had pretended to slip, tumbling into him.
"It's so good to run into you, Rudy!" she exclaimed happily. "I saw Wolfy over there and I was so frightened he might try something, but of course, he won't dare now, not with you here and, oh, are you feeling okay, Rudy? Your face is all red!"
"Whew, woo, whew, um, gosh, Goldilocks, you're so pretty and, oh, no I shouldn't have said that, I meant you're not, um, yikes! I think I left the bathtub running so I'd better get back quick or my place will be flooded. Good-bye!"
"Ooh," exclaimed Goldilocks in disappointment as Rudolf ran away as fast as he could.
Red Riding Hood weaved over to her. "Was that Rudolf? Where did he go in such a hurry?"
"Oh, I don't know," said Goldilocks miserably. "I can tell he likes me, but every time I try talking to him he always gets so shy like this!"
"With your looks, you can find someone much better," her friend told her confidently.
"I don't want someone else, I want Rudy!"
"What do you see in him anyhow?" demanded Red Riding Hood, but Goldilocks merely sighed dreamily, so she sighed too. "Well, the way he acts, I don't think anything's ever going to happen. But, cheer up; maybe you'll get a happy ending with some help from your fairy godmother or someone."
"I am very disappointed in you, Mr. Locks. Perhaps it is merely my untrusting nature, but I am beginning to most uncomfortably suspect that you intend to not pay me my money."
"No, Papa Bear, buddy, it's not like that at all!" Without being quite aware of it,
Walter Locks tugged nervously on his shirt pocket. "It's just that, when I got a tip about that pony, I naturally thought I had a winner who would fly to the finish line, not one who thought he was out for a Sunday stroll. I tell you, when I watched the race that day, I…"
Papa Bear blew a puff of cigar smoke at Mr. Locks, who immediately lapsed in to silence.
"Time, Mr. Locks, is a precious commodity, of which I have far too little to idly listen to your reminiscences. I took your bet and I want your money."
"Yes, and you'll get it, buddy!"
"Mr. Locks, allow me to take this opportunity to disabuse you of the notion that I am in any degree your buddy."
Walter squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. "My finances are a bit tight now, what with the economy all bad, but don't you worry; I've got a few things going on that'll cash out big, and once they do, you'll get all your money, I swear! You know I'll pay you everything I owe!"
"Yes, Mr. Locks, I have faith that you will see the wisdom of doing so."
"Well, that's good, then, right?" Walter agreed weakly. "Say, is that Scotch? Could I pour myself a drink?"
"No, Mr. Locks," came the reply. "That is not Scotch within that decanter, and you may not have a drink. It is bourbon and it is only offered to individuals I consider my friends, of which you are not one."
"I never thought I'd live to see the day you'd deny a client a measly little drink."
"I never thought you'd stiff me on a bet."
"Look, Papa Bear, this is all a misunderstanding. I'll pay you in no time, you'll see!"
"Very well, Mr. Locks, you may go."
"Thank you, Papa Bear."
"Oh, just one more thing."
"What is it?"
"It occurs to me that we may have a certain possibility here; that you are simply telling me what you think I want to hear, without intending to really pay your debt to me."
"No, Papa Bear!"
"In regards to that, I hired someone to quietly perform a certain task I feel will provide you with the proper motivation." Papa Bear flexed his claws and snapped open his cell phone. "Look at this photo he sent me."
Walter stared at the screen in horror. "No," he gasped. "No, you can't do that to my daughter!"
Goldilocks sat in a wooden chair. Thick, white ropes crossed her torso. Thinner rope held her hands onto the armrest and tied her legs together. Red cloth gagged her. Her eyes were wide open, pleading silently.
"Please, Papa Bear, you've got to let her go!"
"I will be happy to so do, Mr. Locks, just as soon as you've paid me in full. Now, get out of here!"
Walter wanted to scream, to jump out of his chair and pound Papa Bear repeatedly with his fists. Instead, he slumped his shoulders, defeated. He walked out of the office, his stomach feeling as though he had swallowed cactus needles. His promises to Papa Bear had been so much air; he would never be able to pay for his daughter's release.
"This isn't a game, baby," The Wolf told Goldilocks. "Your dad got himself into a lot of trouble with Papa Bear, and Papa Bear plays rough."
"Mpfff!" exclaimed Goldilocks, shaking her head in disbelief, trying desperately to raise a hand to remove the gag from her mouth. It had to be a misunderstanding! For just a moment she thought her arms could slide free, but she couldn't quite slip them lose.
"Wow, I didn't expect that," said The Wolf, looking at his cell phone. Goldilocks gave him a quizzical glance, but The Wolf ignored her, moving his paw rapidly as he pressed the buttons. "Just checking the news," he said with a wink, "it seems our mayor wants to increase the sewer rates."
"Mpfff!" Goldilocks stamped her bound feet on the ground angrily, knowing that wasn't what had aroused The Wolf's interest. Whatever had, though, he kept to himself. He hummed softly, continuing to check his messages as he wandered out of sight.
Goldilocks looked around. She sat in a trim, cozy living room with old photographs in ornate frames standing on antique furniture, and bright pictures hanging on the colorful walls. This was the cottage of Red Riding Hood's grandmother, she realized. There was no hope of her coming home anytime soon, or of her granddaughter arriving for one of her frequent visits, for the spry old woman had gone on an around-the-world cruise and would not be back for more than a month. The Wolf had obviously known that, which is why he had chosen this house.
"Actually, if someone did show up, I wish it would be Rudolf," she thought, daydreaming of being rescued by him. "But, how could that possibly happen, when he has no idea where I am? I wish I could somehow get him a message!" She thought about her cell phone, now in The Wolf's possession, and shook her head. "If I'm to get free, it's going to have to be by myself. Let me try my hands once again."
To her delight, she managed to wriggle them free. She happily tossed away her gag. "That's better!" she exclaimed and then clamped a hand over her mouth. She listened for a minute, but all she heard was the grandfather clock ticking sedately; it seemed The Wolf had not heard her. She raised her knees and ran her fingers over the ropes circling her legs.
Untying those knots, though, proved too difficult. "I just can't do it," she thought in dismay. "Maybe there's a pair of scissors somewhere I can use."
She leaned forward as she stood, grimacing at the unexpected heavy weight of the chair. By holding onto the furniture for support, she managed a series of tiny steps to the grandmother's ornate writing desk. She opened the top drawer and glanced at the contents; the pens and pencils were not what she needed; there was a letter opener that she considered briefly, but then shook her head and opened another drawer and another.
"Doesn't she have scissors anywhere?" she thought desperately, and then, to her sudden delight, she discovered a shiny pair lying right there for her! "Now I can cut my way free!"
"Hey, baby, I'll take those," said The Wolf, snatching them out of her hand. "Come along now, it's not time for you to get untied yet."
"No, Wolfy, please, you've got to let me go; you must have things all wrong! Even if Daddy did owe Papa Bear money that wouldn't be any reason to kidnap me; he would just turn the matter over to a debt collection agency and let them follow the proper procedures and mpfff!"
With her legs immobilized and the chair on her back, Goldilocks was easily tied and gagged once again. Although she pulled and flexed her arms, she soon realized that this time she was not going to escape.
A few musical notes tinkled in the air. "Hey, you expecting anyone, baby?" asked The Wolf with another wink as the chimes repeated themselves impatiently. Whoever was at the door was in a hurry; the short melody would not finish before restarting as the doorbell was pushed again. The Wolf leisurely moved to answer it.
Goldilocks opened her eyes wide. The Wolf acted as though he expected this newcomer. Who could it be? Could Papa Bear really be a criminal as The Wolf had said? And, if so, had he sent his minions to fetch her? What was going to happen to her now?
The Wolf flung the door open. "Hey, good to see you, pal,"
"Get out of my way!" Rudolf ordered, slipping into the cottage. "Goldilocks! Where are you?" He tried to run to her, but The Wolf adroitly stepped to block him. "Let me go! I don't know why you abducted this sweet, wonderful woman, but her ordeal is over now!"
"Mpfff!" exclaimed Goldilocks, liking what she was hearing.
Rudolf made two small fists, whirling his hands in a tight circle before aiming a punch at The Wolf's prominent nose. The Wolf dodged it easily and smiled.
"You don't want to fight me," he told Rudolf. He flung a paw forward and playfully scratched Rudolf under the chin, just to show what he could have done. "You don't even know how to fight, for that matter!"
"I don't want to fight either," replied Rudolf, breathing heavily, "but if I must to save her, then I will!"
Goldilocks winced as Rudolf missed with a wide, round swing at The Wolf's stomach. "It's very brave of him to try, but he's never going to hit Wolfy," she thought unhappily. "I've got to help him, but what can I do, tied to this chair?"
The Wolf stepped back casually to avoid another attack. He was standing almost in front of Goldilocks now. She leaned forward and rose to her feet. Her stomach was bent over; the chair was raised off the ground. It was so heavy; without her hands free to hold on for support she could not keep her balance. She grunted with frustration as she tottered back, the chair legs settling onto the thick carpet with a soft thud.
The Wolf leaned to one side, shifting position slightly. "He's moving away!" realized Goldilocks. "I've got to act now!" She lifted herself only to fall back again. She breathed deeply through her nose and tried a third time. This time she remained steady! She breathed a quick prayer of thanks she had on sneakers rather than the sandals she had nearly chosen to wear to the mall, and quickly considered the situation. The back of the chair was tall, stretching up higher than her head. As Rudolf released yet another punch, Goldilocks tilted her body, knocking the top of the chair into The Wolf's broad back.
The impact nearly caused her to tumble onto the floor, but then the chair pulled her down into her original position, while The Wolf stumbled forward, right into Rudolf's fist. He staggered a few steps to the side before collapsing onto the couch.
"Wow," exclaimed Rudolf in disbelief. "I didn't realize I had that much power! I should give you some more of that, just to teach you a lesson!"
The Wolf opened an eye, and Rudolf suddenly remembered Goldilocks. He removed her gag easily enough and then the thick ropes around her torso, but his fingers could not untie the tight knots holding her arms. "I can't get these loose!"
"There's a pair of scissors in that desk," she informed him anxiously. "Hurry, Wolfy won't be out much longer. Not up there, in the fourth drawer. No, I said the fourth drawer, Rudolf. Yes, that's them!"
Even with the scissors, Rudolf encountered difficulties, but luckily, The Wolf remained sluggish. Once Goldilocks had her arms free, she took the scissors and methodically finished for him. She gave a backwards look at The Wolf, who was slowly sitting up on the couch, and then, deciding she could retrieve her cell phone some other time, held tightly onto Rudolf's arm as they darted out the door.
Several minutes later, the doorbell chimed once again.
"Hey, baby," greeted The Wolf.
"Hi, Wolfy." Red Riding Hood traipsed into her grandmother's house, a basket in one arm. She gave him an odd look.
"Goldilocks told me everything, Wolfy."
"It was good that I abducted her, baby," said The Wolf. "If I hadn't, Papa Bear would've just given the job to someone else, and I think you know she was safer with me."
"Yes, I suppose that's true," she conceded. "What I don't understand, though, is how Rudolf knew to come here to rescue her."
"Don't know, baby." The Wolf shrugged his shoulders. "He seems a rather brainy sort, so he probably just figured things out."
"You know what I think? I think you sent him an anonymous message and then when he showed up, let him think he knocked you out so he could rescue Goldi. You probably remembered that scene in the mall earlier today and decided to deviate from what Papa Bear hired you to do."
"Yeah, well, that bear's plan wouldn't have worked anyhow," shrugged The Wolf. "I got a newsflash that the cops raided his office and that he's going to be in jail for a long time. Well, that meant there wasn't any job for me anymore, and it gave Goldi's dad a reprieve, so…"
"But he still has a lot of explaining to do to Goldi," interrupted Red Riding Hood. "Involving himself with a thug so that his only daughter gets put into danger!"
"So, I knew I could turn her loose," continued The Wolf. "Doing it just like that wouldn't have been any fun, though, so, yeah, I remembered whatshisname and decided to give that poor sap a helping paw, that's all."
"Well, it worked very well; Rudolf was with Goldi and he certainly wasn't acting shy. Oh, Wolfy, that was really very sweet of you, playing Cupid like that!"
"No, baby!" protested The Wolf, looking very embarrassed. "Me, playing Cupid? No, you've got it all wrong!"
"Wolfy, you played Cupid, all right. And now, you can think of me as Psyche!"
"Sigh who, baby?"
"Psyche. She was Cupid's girlfriend."
"Oh yeah?" The Wolf snaked a paw into her basket and pulled out a pair of handcuffs, pink, fuzzy, and shaped like hearts. "Did Cupid ever restrain her and tickle her, baby?"
"All the time, Wolfy," she agreed eagerly. "All the time."
