Of Illusions and Truth

By Jaden Maxwell

Warnings: Angsty!! Lotsa angst! CB wanted to write something without PQ's help, so this is what happened. This is for you TK, you've inspired me so much that I had to write a whole new fanfic instead of putting it in BotKE. Also has some yaoi hints in it, nothing extreme.

Disclaimer: You all know the drill, I don't own it, never will. Megami.. Kouhosei… is not… mine… But Hiead still is!!! Ok.. maybe not.. But one day when I rule the world he will be!

Now with all that said, go ahead and read if you're brave enough to stand my writing… .



Gomen.

It was my fault, wasn't it? I didn't pay enough attention. No, strike that. I paid attention, I just didn't heed the warning signs.

I saw that dangerous gleam in your eyes that no one else noticed, or maybe just ignored. But I didn't care.

I saw the lust you held and hid, but I let myself pretend it wasn't there. And I kept enticing you anyway.

No one else will know, will they? Only you and I know that it was you, and you'll never tell. I won't either. I'm too busy gathering up the last shreds of pride and dignity I have left.

In fact, no one else will even know it happened. I'm too stubborn to let it become public knowledge. Haven't I already been violated enough as it is? Even if they found out, they would never guess it was you.

We've had more fights than any other pair on GOA, but that would still give you no motive. After all, no one else saw what I saw hidden in the depths of those beautiful eyes.

You know, you could've asked. Ever since the day I met you I had decided that you were the most gorgeous creature in existence. But maybe you didn't know that. Maybe, in hiding it from the others, I hid it too well from you. Or maybe asking just wouldn't have been as much fun as taking what you wanted.

It's almost funny though. You even had me fooled. I never saw it coming, because I never looked for it. Even though I saw the danger in your eyes, which always heightened to their utmost intensity when we fought, you still appeared so… incapable of such an act. Even that predatory grin you gave me failed to alert my instincts.

But you were very capable, weren't you? I know that now. It know it extremely well, now that I'm lying here on my bed, broken and bleeding. And you in yours, sated and content. I remember so clearly that vicious, satisfied smirk you wore when you had finally achieved your desires. You enjoyed yourself fully, didn't you?

Did you know that when you left me, to go lie in your own bed and leaving me to myself, I wasn't afraid? Of course you don't. You fell asleep almost instantly. I just felt cold. Cold and shattered. I suppose it might have given me just a little bit of pride though, to make up for the infinitely greater amount you took, to know that you wanted me. I held the sheets tightly for a long time, but never actually covered up. The effort of moving would hurt too much.

My threats never frightened you, did they? I think they amused you more than anything else. Did I fascinate you? Do I still? All my yelling only made me a slightly harder target, and that enticed you still more, didn't it? The more difficult a prize was to claim, the more self-indulgent victory there was in attaining it.

You're waking up now. You're facing me, and before you even open your eyes I can see that sadistic, toothy grin spread across your face. I don't wonder long what you're thinking about.

You climb out of your bed, then crawl suggestively across Clay's in my direction. The way you lick your lips is erotic, but it frightens me. I know what you want. But I don't blame you. It was my fault anyway. I just kept tempting you, and I ignored the warning signs. You're beside me now, running your hand softly over the curves of my cheek. I know my eyes are wide, I don't know what to think. But even with that possessive look on your face you're still so beautiful…

You lean over to nibble at my ear before you start to whisper, this is the soft pleasure before the pain. Am I shivering at your touch? If I am, you don't seem to notice.

"This is all your fault you know." You breathed the words hotly in my ear. "If you weren't so damned tempting I wouldn't have to do this to you pet." You grinned again. "It'll only hurt a little while, I promise." Those last words came out like a demonic hiss.

What a fitting nickname. An owner has control and dominance over a pet, don't they? As you have over me. I wonder how I ever saw you as innocent and naïve, Zero Enna.



Oh yah, did I mention oocness in the warning? Of course not, it might've given the ending away. . Yes, it was angsty. But ya know what, CB wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote some angst, and since it's PQ's turn to write in BotKE I couldn't let CB put another angst chapter in there. *glares at CB* I think he only did it to prove to TK's muse Akuma he could write halfway decent angst.

CB: Akuma? *thinks* Oh! You mean Muffin!! *quickly realizes his mistake and dives under the computer desk*

Something wrong CB?

CB: Don't you remember?! If I called her that again she was going too… I'm quite fond of my braid and batwings thankyouverymuch!!

*grins* You know she'll read this, right?

CB: Should I start sucking up now or later?

I think now would be a good time.

CB: You've inspired me so much Akuma! This was all written for you!!

Actually CB, it was for TK.

CB: Shh!! Akuma doesn't hafta know that!!

Anyway, I love reviews so I wouldn't mind getting a few. Just to let you know, you can flame all you want since they will only be used in my efforts to burn the school down. ^_^ I dunno if I'll write a second chapter or not, depends on my mood and the reviews, so I dunno…