This is my first Johnny the Homicidal Maniac fanfic! I was listening to AC/DC Back In Black and Highway To Hell for inspiration for this story. It's pretty gruesome and funny at the same time. Feel free to call me a sicko if you like. Everyone else does!

---Invader Ick

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Nny looked down at the sleeping derelict on the side of Rag's Bar. He was dirty, filthy, and ragged, but that meant little to Nny. What meant to him was the fact that this man had, earlier today, spit on him when he refused to give the hobo money.

He gently nudged the man on his right shoulder, and with the other hand, he hid his cleaver behind his back.

"Excuse me sir", he said.

"MMPHF?" the man said. "Who're you?"

Nny smiled a wide toothy grin. "I am the man who had spit so wrongly upon earlier today." He pulled out his cleaver. "I just want to ask you one simple question."

The man had now sat up and had his back to the wall. His voice quaking with fear, he asked, "What is that?"

Nny had now brought out his cleaver in full view of the man; the moon gave off a blinding reflection from it. Smiling he said, "How can any piteous person on the outside be so fucking ugly on the inside? On the outside, you want people to pity you by resembling this derelict…" He gave a mighty swipe of his cleaver, slicing the man's throat in half. Blood spattered everywhere, including on Nny. Nny grinned even wider as the man grabbed his throat and gave a bloody gurgle.

"…But you are so ugly and vain on the inside. Maybe we should make your outside resemble your inside. What do you think?" Nny brought the cleaver down repeated times, as the crunch of the man's skull resounded off the walls.

His tirade lasted no more than about five minutes; but it was his five minutes. After he was done, Nny looked down at the man again. The man was stone dead; his entire skull hacked to pieces.

From the inside of Rag's Bar, he heard the footsteps of someone coming outside.

"What the hell is going on here?" he shouted as he saw a blood-spattered Nny.

"Allow me to introduce myself." Nny clubbed the man down on the head with a lid from a garbage can.

Making sure the man was unconscious, Nny picked him up and put him on his shoulder.

In the dark of the night, Nny walked down the sidewalk. He ran his fingers through his unruly hair.

"Looks like I'll be busy tonight", he said.



How's that for a good opening, eh? It will lead to something in Chapter 2, which I am working on right now!