Well, here it is, my trump card. Read what happens to people who don't get enough TTV. Hope you notice the Cow and Chicken reference. But first a little background...

Prince Evillo: Ruler of the planet Tartarus and head of a super-villain team called the Devil's Dozen. Had a hand in White Witch's origin story. Twin daughters are Styx and Stiletta.

STOWDY: State the obvious why don'tcha?

OMDL: Oh My Dark Lord.

WTBD: What's the big deal.


"From the makers of Chocospores, it's-" "We interrupt this program with an urgent news bulletin."

"Uh, bad news. Tenzil Kem, the host of Vital Information For Your Everyday Life, wanted more mo-I mean, died in a freak waffle iron accident! In the meantime, here's Millennium!"

At the Fountains of Purgatory Resting Home in the Pan District of Inferna, Capital City of Tartarus. Inside of a day room filled with zombies, word of Tenzil's untimely demise has just reached the living.

"What's that?!" Mrs. Camody, a ninety-four year old corpse cried.

"What?!" Yelled Mr. Szygy, a one-hundred and ninety two year old corpse.

"They cancelled Vital Information?!" Mrs. Camody asked to no one and everyone.

"They did?! Who?!" Asked Ms. Kirkpatrick, who only had one eye and one nose.

"Who what?!" Said the confused Ms. Renrir.

"Focus, people! Tenzil is gone!" Ms. Tilda Clothilde managed to get everyone aware of that fact.

"But he can't be gone! Tenzil was the only reason for me getting up in the morning! He made me forget that my kids never visit me." Mrs. Camody sobbed her empty eye sockets out. Until she was reminded by Mrs. Lethe "Dear, you don't have children." "That's why I watched Tenzil!" Camody sobbed back at her.

"What are we going to do now?" Mr. Szygy wondered. "We could watch Millennium". Everyone turned to the guy who said that, the guy in the corner. The guy in the corner looked at the others with a cheery grin, met at with annoyed stares. Then they threw him out the window.

"Anyway, without Tenzil life seems so bleak and meaningless." Mr. Prometheus said. "We live on Tartarus. It's always bleak and meaningless." droned Mr. Yuurm. Ms. Kirkpatrick perked up and said "That was the theme of my senior prom. 'Say Hello To Your Bleak And Meaningless Lives!"

"Feh! That no good picture box will get ya nothing but a cup of coffee and JACK SQUAT!" Everyone turned to the senile old zombie Mr. Bleginblah, who had no arms and no legs and spent most of his time yelling at a dead potted plant at the other end of the room. "In my day, we didn't have no TV. We just played around with whatever died in the streets, and we was damned proud."

"Is he talking to us or the plant?" someone asked. "Oh who cares?" It was at that point that Tilda had had enough, and stood upon a chair to get their attention.

"Listen people! We don't have to stand for this. Sure we may be old! Sure we may be rotting corpses! Sure we may have spent a good number of years trapped in the Realm of Darkness, only to have our children or whatever living family member we have left stick us in this pathetic excuse for provided care!" "Are you going somewhere with this?" "I forget! But the point is, Tenzil Kem was the one thing that made our sad and miserable lives slightly lesssad and miserable. And now he's just gone? Like that? Well I say HEAVEN NO! We may be old, and we may be dead, but we have rights! We have the right to voice our opinion and we have the right to choose whatever we went to watch on TV like mindless sacs of maggot-infested throw pillows! And I say we want to watch Tenzil! What do we want?" she asked them.

"Tenzil!"

"What do we want?!"

"Tenzil!!"

"I can't hear you!"

"TENZIL!!"

"Now let's move o-"

Tilda's jaw falls off.

"Oh dear. Do one of you mind?" she tries to say, but it sounds like "Oo ooer. Oo ohn ohf oou oond?" "No not at all." Ms. Kirkpatrick said, handing Tilda her jaw and helping her put it back on. "Thanks. NOW LET'S MOVE OUT!"

Envigorated by the idea of revolution, the proud undead begin to march out, until the aid Cameron stepped in front of them with a patronizing grin on his face.

"Now now, where do you think you're going?" "We're going to get back our Tenzil on TV! Isn't that right?" Tilda told him. "TTV! TTV!" The others shouted.

"Are you sure? 'Cuz we've got chocolate pudding and clean diapers!" he waved the bribes out in front of them. Tilda laughed it off. "You can't distract us with promises of lactose treats and fresh undergarments." A voice in the back said "I could use on those diap-" "We're getting back Tenzil and you can't stop us." Cameron laughed. "Oh come now Mrs. Clothilde. What can all of you possibly do?"

Five Seconds Later

"OH SATAN THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!!" "WHAT DO THEY WANT?! JUST GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT!" "SOYLENT GREEN IS STILL MADE OF PEOPLE!"

The rampaging undead were tearing through Inferna like Roseanne Barr through a Pizza Hut. And Tilda is the leading them through it.

"Yes, that's it! March forward! We'll get back Tenzil even if we have to do it kicking, screaming, and face-tearing all the way!"

"TTV! TTV! I WANT MY TTV!" the army chants.

"WHAT DO WE GOT?!" "MOVIES!" "WHAT ELSE?!" "REFRIGERATORS!" "WHAT DO WE NEED?!" "COLOR TV!" "SAY IT LOUD AND SAY IT PROUD!" "TTV! TTV!"

Meanwhile, at the palace of Prince Evillo, and his many (undead) wives.

"Ahh, another glorious day in the infernal city." Styx said as she rose out of bed, in her room filled with posters of hot Tartarian guys and male Legionnaires without their shirts on. "OMDL Sis, DYH the news?" her sister Stitletta came running in with her phone in hand.

Styx and Stiletta were twin sisters, both with wavy black hair, reddish-brown skin, black eyes, and small horns on their forehead. Styx were her hair long, but Stiletta had her's cut. Both were the daughters of Prince Evillo, the ruler of planet Tartarus. Their mom was Evillo's fourth wife. Fourth out of ten, all undead thanks to Evillo's passing whims. Both had similar hobbies, although Styx gave some more thought to when she did things, and Stiletta talked in more Internet slang, not that she was dumb, mind you.

"What news?" Styx asked as she picked up the Batman chibi doll that fell off her bed. "Well Lethe said that Brooke said that Plut said that Tiffany said that Roger said, to turn on the news." Styx started fumbling around for her remote under her bed pillows. They turned on the screen to see a reporter with red skin, a tail, horns, a reporter's vest... and no pants.

"Oh hello, ladies! It's me, ace reporter C.D. Hiney." He laughed a little. "I'm here reporting at the scene, OF A VERY BAD THING! Here we have a bunch of tired old grandmas wanting their precious Tenzil Kem BACK ON THE AIR! Which just goes to show that too much TV can be a very bad thiiing!" he said the last part in singsong as he was hopping along on his butt. The sisters got a glimpse of the carnage that the undead were wreaking on the city. People screaming, buildings on fire, Science Police hiding in the sewers and making out in the alley with what could be the last few minutes of their lives. Their were banners draped over some of the conquered buildings saying "TTV" and "No Tenzil Makes Jack A Dull Boy."

"O. M." "D.L." Stiletta finished for Styx. "We gotta get daddy." Styx said "STOWDY." Stiletta said.

After getting dressed, Styx and Stiletta started looking over the palace for their dad. Along the way they ran into one of Evillo's many wives, now zombified and working in his palace.

"Uh, which wife are you?" Stiletta asked. "Wife 4." "MOMMY!" Stiletta hugged her mom. "You seen Daddy?" "Check his study, dear, and no running."

The sisters made their way to their dad's study, where he would plan out many things involving Tartarus... or he would curl up under his desk and hug his Saturn Queen doll and say "I'm a good leader, I'm a good leader" if he was having a hard day.

"Daddy!" "Come on daddy, the planet needs you. Daddy?"

The two began looking around the room, until Stiletta found a vid-letter made out to them. She read it out loud.

"Dear my little hellraisers. Went on honeymoon with new wife. Think this might be it. If not the septic tank needs a good rinse. See you in five weeks. Love, Daddy. OMDL what is this, wife 11?" Stiletta asked. "Wife 10." Styx reminded. "What should we do, sis?" Stiletta pondered. Styx threw up her hands. "What else. Call the Legion." Stiletta let out a happy squeak and said "Oooh that is such a raw idea!" "Totally raw!"

The two started to type in the Legion's number on a nearby vid-phone with a large screen.

"This is so totally savage. Wait until all my friends hear that I got to talk to Legionnaires!" Stiletta squaled. "I hope we get Chameleon Boy. He is so cute I just wanna bite those antennae of his and chew 'em up!" "Oh please, Stil, you've got such a thing for the younger boys I'm surprised you were able to get through grade school." "He could always grow older. But why would I ever want to change that face? And his BFF Karate Kid! The positions I could put Val Armorr in."

"I hope we get Lightning Lad. He's got such a ragged look it is so completely raw. With that flaming red hair and that scar, the metal arm, and that attitude! Just like a broken ragdoll who doesn't want a home. All he needs is someone to love him and hold him and squeeze the life outta him, and Mephistus knows it isn't that blonde playgirl."

Stiletta was offended and waved her finger at the idea. "OMDL WTF? How can you compare your Garth to my Cham? He looks like a hobo!" Styx give a "mm-hmm" and said "It just show's how much of a bad boy he is. I wonder if he's into leather?" Styx explained. Stiletta sighed. "Still, neither can compare to... him."

Both sisters let out a collective sigh. Styx hugged the console as warm thoughts ran through her filthy mind. "Oh don't remind me. Just the thought of... him makes my skin tingle."

"Hello, you've reached the Legion of Super-Heroes." The twins looked up at the screen in anticipation, only to be ultimately disappointed. It was Cosmic Boy. "Oh. Great. Mr. Elephant Ears." Stiletta said off-handily. Cosmic Boy raised an eyebrow in quick annoyance. "Can I help you?" "Yeah I'm Styx and this my sister Stiletta. We're from the planet Tartarus and-" "Styx, rude much? BTW we're srry 'bout Matter-Eater Lad croaking it big time." Cosmic Boy was confused. "What?" "Yeah, in that waffle-iron incident?" Styx explained.

"Kem get over here now!" Cosmic Boy yelled off screen. "What up, boss man?"

The twins jaws' dropped. There he was, Matter-Eater Lad, alive and well! "Hey! What the heaven?!" Stiletta yelled. "And who are these fine ladies?" Matter-Eater Lad lowered his specs to get a better look at the girls. "You're supposed to dead you big maroon!" "Dead?! Me?!" Tenzil backed up. Cosmic Boy gave him a suspicious look. "There something you want to tell me?"

"The whole planet is going into a revolt because his TV show got cancelled. And it got cancelled because he was supposed to be dead!" Styx yelled. "Why would network television lie?" Stiletta could not grasp the idea. TV was their friend. Surely it must've been someone else behind it, like some criminal mastermind or Mormons.

"Cos what's going on?" Now, Brainiac 5, Bouncing Boy, Superman X, and Timber Wolf were in the screen. The sisters gasped together.

"OMDL!" "OMDL!" "It's furball and the chubby one!" Stiletta said. "And there's Brainy! And... oh, that Superman rip-off." Styx sighed with disappointment again. "Rip-off?" "Would one of you please make sense? Matter-Eater Lad doesn't have a TV show." Cosmic Boy said. "Yeah he does." Bouncing Boy said. "What?" "Tenzil Kem With Vital Information For Your Everyday Life? It's on every night." Brainy explained. "Yeah, where have you been?" Timber Wolf asked.

The sisters started snickering at Cosmic Boy's dumbfounded look, before he grabbed Matter-Eater Lad by the collar and held him up to his face. "How long have you had a TV show?!" "Uh... for about a month?" Matter-Eater Lad let out a nervouse laugh.

"A MONTH?! ON LEGION TIME?!" "Yyyyyyy-ep." Bouncing Boy delibaretly drawled the "y" and popped the "p". "Why doesn't anyone tell me anything?!" Cosmic Boy cried. "'Cuz your a douche." Styx said, getting snickers from some of the other Legionnaires. Brainy cleared his throat.

"So you said something about riots?" Styx started to explain "Yeah, all the undead people are giving a major fit 'cuz Tenzil's show got cancelled. And our dad, just like totally disappeared on us!" "Totally!" Stiletta finished.

"Hmm, you think there's anything suspicious behind it?" "Well, yeah. When they cancelled Millennium nothing bad happened!" Styx said. "Look, it's going to take us a while to get there. Tartarus is a world in the outer rim, so until then you girls are going to have to hold down the fort." "But-!" Styx started. "What can we do?" "You're smart, you'll think of something." Bouncing Boy said to keep their attitudes positive. The sisters sighed. Then they snapped back to reality when they heard strangling noises. Timber Wolf said "We gotta go. Cos is starting to strangle Tenzil. Good luck." "I'm a Superman rip-off?" Kell dredged. "YOU SPROCKING SON OF A-" the screen went blank.

Styx sighed. "Terrific." Stiletta said "well, is it really that bad? I mean, so they've caused a little property damage, WTBD?" That's when the power started to go out, and Stiletta's phone blipped out.

"We just lost phone service." Styx said.

"DEM BITCHES GOIN' DOWN!"

To Be Continued...

What's next? Meet the resistance front!