Author's Note: This is set the NIGHT of Jude's 17th birthday. So everything that happened in "Hallelujah" happened in this story, this is just the story of what happened that NIGHT. Oh, and this could possibly be something more than a one-shot, but right now that's all it is. If you want it to be multi chapter REVIEW and TELL ME SO! PLEASE! (:
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Instant Star or "Secret Lovers" by Atlantic Star
Inspiration was a weird thing. It always seemed to hit Jude in the oddest of times: like right now. It was her seventeenth birthday, if you could really even call it that anymore - it was 12:01 am, and she was in her bed. However, without warning, her body had a sudden urge of –what was the word – excitement? She didn't know, but she did know that she couldn't do anything but get to the studio. She knew it was locked, but she also knew how to get into it. Spiderman had taught her well on tour.
She, as quietly as possible, removed herself from the bed. If her mother found her gone in the middle of the night, she would freak out! She slipped on a pair of slippers and silently walked to the garage and grabbed her keys off the hook. She began pushing the garage door open; she then pushed the car out and shut the garage. It all seemed complicated, but she'd done this before. No, she wasn't a rebel, but hey, every girl needs some alone time. She got in her car and drove off. Her key card to G-Major would let her in the door and the alarms wouldn't go off. She knew there was a reason there were security cameras in G-Major, just like every other place, but she knew Darius well. And Darius wanted money. This spurt of inspiration would surely get him that. He'd have no problems with her coming in, hopefully.
She parked her car and quietly made her way to the door. Her key card slid through without problem. As she walked into the pitch black darkness that was G- Major, she felt her heart race. She couldn't wait to get into the studio. Her favorite guitar stayed overnight here and she wanted to play it. The darkness made it hard to see where she was going, but luckily for her she knew G-Major well enough to a have a little idea. She put her arms in front of her so she wouldn't hit anything and found a door. She hoped it was her studio; she guessed it was and opened the door. There were wires all over the floor, so she slid her feet carefully across the floor. She felt her foot nag on one of the cords and she took a nose dive right into the floor – no, a person.
She let out a scream as she realized she wasn't alone. She got up as quickly as possible: composing herself, if possible. She reached behind her to reach for the light. She flipped the switch and she saw an image before her that registered, eventually due to the light shock on her eyes, as Tommy.
"Tommy? What are you doing here?"
He rubbed his eyes, clearly not liking the lights, "I could as you the same thing, Jude."
"Well…" She shuffled her feet on the floor and stared at them, "I am an artist…who likes to write songs."
Realization struck him and he smiled. "You came to write a song?"
She nodded, slightly embarrassed.
"Your mom doesn't know you here, does she?" She nodded her head, and he laughed at her. "Who would have known that Jude Harrison is a rebel?" He gaped at her, mockingly.
She blushed uncontrollably and hit him on the shoulder, "Shut up. Now, are you going to help me or continue mocking me?"
"So you want me help?" He took a step closer to her and looked down at her.
She felt her heart begin to race, after what happened today she had no idea what this night would hold. "Do you want to help me?" She asked quietly taking a glance at him.
He rested his hands on her shoulders, "I always want to help. I am your producer now."
"Yeah, because "producer" totally entitles what you are to me," she muttered to herself.
"It a title, not a relationship status." He laughed at her, "Nothing, can explain our relationship."
"It's true." She laughed.
"So what's floating around in your pretty little brain, Girl?" She walked away from him and into the studio itself. He followed her and waited for her to get settled. She grabbed her guitar and a pick. She sat down and waited for him to also get a guitar and a pick. He took the seat on the floor across from her. He played a chord progression to loosen things up. He stared at her waiting for her to talk, but she couldn't.
"So what are we writing about?" He asked her quietly, not wanting to mess with her "flow" or whatever.
She scratched her head, "A girl."
"And a boy?" He guessed.
"Yes."
"The relationship?" He asked. He already knew what she would say. It was their relationship. This seemed to be the only way that she could get her feelings out about their strange relationship. Lots of her songs were about him, and he knew it. He wasn't cocky about it, but he still knew it. Just like he knew the songs that he wrote were about her. There was nothing you could do about it. You had to get things about. And when the relationship –- of any kind—was forbidden, you had to do it silently.
She looked at the ceiling and took a deep breath. How could she get this out without feeling more confused and exposed than she already felt? She figured she couldn't. "She's confused, like always. There seems to be nothing she can do about it."
"Okay, and what is our boy doing?"
"He seems to be oblivious, but who can really know?" She laughed lightly.
"Or maybe what he says won't make a difference?" He asked.
She nodded, "Probably."
"Is this relationship forbidden?"
Forbidden – he'd used the word, and now there was no turning back. They both knew who the song was about now. "Yeah, I think so. But that never seems to stop the girl. He's the problem."
He sighed. He was the problem, he knew it. "He's always trying to be the responsible one." She had read his thoughts.
"And she's always the spur-of- the- moment type girl."
"Yeah. She knows what she wants though, Tommy, there's no question about it."
"Happy song? Or sad song?"
"Sad." She laughed, "Come on, Tommy; don't act like you don't know me."
"Okay so what do you think about," He strummed on his guitar a little until he watched her head start to bob, signaling that she liked it. "Here we are, the two of us together, taking this crazy change just to be alone."
A small smile spread on her face.
She spoke next, "We both know that we should not be together." She looked into his eyes and she could feel herself sending a signal to him telling him that she didn't care what other people thought: she had to have him. He had to be hers. Her eyes seemed to burn as she looked at his; she couldn't take it anymore, and she stood up.
"Cause if they found out, it could mess up both our happy homes." He knew what she wanted, but he couldn't give it to her. He had to be responsible. If anything happened it would be on his back. If something was going to happen, they had to wait. As she stood up, he could feel the tension rise. She was on her toes trying so hard not to spill and make everything bluntly known. She couldn't look at him, or talk to him. She could only sing.
She set her guitar down as Tommy kept playing. He sang the next part with all his heart and soul. She had to know. She had to. So he got up and walked towards her and made her look at him, "I hate to think about us not together; as soon as I look at you it will show on my face. Then they'll know we've been loving each other, we can't let them know, girl, no. We can't leave a trace."
She felt tears coming to her eyes. When had this happened? When had she fallen so far for Tommy that they were having this conversation?
"Secret lovers, that's what we are."
She stopped singing, so he stopped playing. "Why'd you stop? You were doing great!"
"Great? Tommy, I can't sing this in front of people!"
"Why not?" Tommy didn't understand. He thought it was a great song.
"Tommy, you said you and Sadie didn't work. I know why."
"I know…" He trailed off, not getting where she was going.
"But, we, we, can't work! Tommy we can!" A tear came out of her eye. Her hand flew to her mouth – this conversation was supposed to be forbidden.
"Jude…this won't work because it's illegal."
"SO? So what? We can make it work. I'll be eighteen in a year, and we'll be fine! Tommy I can't take this anymore. I need you…"
"And you have me…but we can't be like that right now. Soon, but not now."
"Tommy, please, stop trying to be responsible! I'm not stupid. I know what you want. I know what you need."
"YEAH! OKAY? SO WHAT? I NEED YOU TOO! Jude that doesn't mean I can have you for my taking. "His yelling hadn't startled her.
"You can't if I say you can!" She yelled back, just as fiercely.
"NO! Jude this can't happen! We can't happen!"
She couldn't believe what he'd said. She ran out of the room in tears, not caring about the sudden darkness that had engulfed her. He said they couldn't happen. She couldn't believe him because if she did she'd die. She couldn't live without Tommy. She needed him for so much more than just writing a song. She ran out to the alley that held so many memories of her and Tommy. She sat on the steps and the words of a familiar song came to her. "You said I was your everything…You said I was the one."
She missed the days when she and Tommy hadn't had to worry about their feelings. Those days were over after about three days into the album though, weren't they? She missed just hanging out with him, but now she was at the point that when she didn't see him, she went crazy. She couldn't stand being apart from him; it hurt so badly. "Tell me you love me like a star; tell me you want me wherever we are." She'd written the song just today, but she already loved it so much. It was crazy, when she thought about it, that just this morning she had hated Tommy, and now she was trying so hard to be with him. "Tell me you'll breathe me to your last breath. Liar, Liar."
She heard the door open behind her. She made no move. He stood behind her, trying to think of the right words to say. He heard her humming; he assumed she didn't want to sing in front of him right now - but the music couldn't escape her. He sat next to her and said, "I didn't mean it like that, Jude. I really didn't."
"How did you mean it then, Tommy? How else was I supposed to take that?"
He sighed. "Jude, you know what I want!"
"Do I? I've never heard you say it out loud. You expect me to read your mind! Sorry, Tommy but I can't do that."
"You. I want you!"
She looked at him in the eyes, "It's not that hard to say, now is it?"
"Saying it was never my problem. It's what comes after the words….that's the problem."
"Why can't we do it in secret?" She asked suddenly.
He shook his head, "I'm not the best at secret keeping." He laughed.
"Tommy, I'm serious." Jude's eyes burnt with the love that she held, "Tommy, I can't take it anymore. I really can't."
Jude shivered as a rush of cold wind blew against her. She made a move to go back inside, and he followed her. As soon as they were inside, he reached for her wrist and spun her around. "Jude, I don't think it will work."
She had a moment of insanity and her hand went to his face. "I know you don't, but you won't even try it."
"I can't have you if I can only have you in secret. That's why it won't work. I can't separate the secret from work. I won't be able to."
"You do it right now, though."
"It's not the same."
"How?" Jude asked. She rocked on her toes, anxious. The way she was feeling about Tommy wasn't going away, so why couldn't they at least try it?
He looked into her eyes and could see just how much she wanted to try this. He hated being the responsible person in the couple; he wasn't used to it. More than anything, he wanted Jude. He could feel himself caving, little by little, and he could feel himself caring that he wasn't being responsible, less and less. His hands found her neck and he whispered the words he'd tried not to say for so long, "What kind of a relationship are we talking about?"
Her eyes lit like a forest fire, "A normal one—"he laughed, "As normal as possible," she corrected herself. "Just in secret. Like right now, we're alone, so we could be a couple. It's only for a year, Tommy. A year, we've been hiding our feelings for two, we can last one more!"
"What if it doesn't work? What happens then? I can't lose you."
"You won't."
"So…the song?" Tommy changed the subject.
"The song could wait." Jude smirked.
"Or…it could happen now." He laughed. He grabbed her hand and pulled her gently back to the studio. She sighed knowing that it was time to work – for now. She took her seat on the floor and Tommy sat next to her. She could feel the warmth of his body next to her. "So our girl, is she feeling the same now?"
"She's happy. Still confused, she'll probably always be confused," she laughed. Her head fell to his shoulder and the scene among them felt perfect.
She could feel his breathing as he spoke, "Okay, our guy is happy too?"
"Yes." She smiled. "He's very happy. Their issues are partially resolved."
"So is this a happy love song?"
"For now." She smiled. His breathing continued. He debated inside of himself about whether or not to say what he was feeling inside. He needed certainty, and that's what she needed too.
His head turned towards her; she looked up at him and smiled.
"Are we a happy love song?" He asked quietly.
"I'd say so." She whispered as she felt his lips wrap around hers. Her senses went crazy as her eyes danced behind her skull.
As he pulled away he muttered a, "Good."
Their song had just begun, but it was sure to be a good one.
