The first story in this collection is a Christmas story. I know it isn't a very strong start to my fic, but I wanted to write something fitting for the time of the year, and the idea of a Beagle family Christmas is just too tempting.
Anyway, some stories will be shorter, some longer, some more serious and some just plain stupid. It really depends. My main goal is make sure they all get some love. I'll update with new chapters periodically. I'm sorry for any bad formatting, I'm new to this! Enjoy and Happy Holidays~!
Naughty and Nice
The scent of pine needles and gingerbread wafted through the Beagle hideout, filling the home with the atmosphere of Christmas. In the kitchen, Ma Beagle was finishing up the cookies she'd been working on. Her gray hair was frazzled and in a tight bun and her face was pinched in concentration.
"Here comes the tree!" shouted a deep voice from the other room.
Bankjob and Bouncer, the biggest and brawniest of the Beagle Boys, stomped into the living room covered in snow and a little out of breath, hauling a scrawny little evergreen behind them. Usually, the brothers considered each other rivals and weren't on the best of terms; but today a lighthearted snowball fight had quickly dissolved any lingering animosity between the two.
The other Beagle brothers, sipping cocoa by a crackling fire, sprung up with excitement as they entered. The radio was softly playing holiday music in the corner.
"Wow, a real Christmas tree!" Babyface said, scurrying to get a closer look, as it was set next to a table with cookies and milk. Babyface was the youngest out of all the Beagle Boys, a little guy with big eyes, rosy cheeks, and a propeller beanie hat he wore everywhere.
"And one we don'ts have to look at through prison bars!" added Burger, wiping the chocolate mustache off of his mouth. Burger was heavyset, to say the least. It was hard to really tell how many chins he really had, and he always seemed to be nibbling on something. In fact, his buckteeth suspiciously matched perfectly with the CHOMP! taken out of his prison placard.
"Oh c'mon, that's not a tree, that's just a weed wishin' it was," BigTime complained, looking it up and down.
Oh, of course. BigTime always had something critical to say, about everything. The short little Beagle was probably the smartest of the lot, true, but he didn't win any friends with his prickly personality.
Bankjob's smile faltered. "You wanna go out in the cold and haul one through the snow yerself, be my guest."
"It'll do fine, boys," Ma said, entering the room with a smile and her hands full of a tray of gingerbread cookies. The boys all dropped everything and grabbed greedy handfuls.
"Aw, you're da best, Ma!" Baggy gushed with his mouth full.
BigTime grimaced. Typical Baggy- the idiot of the family. (And that was sayin' something!) Baggy always had a blank stare and dopey grin plastered on his face, walking around with his shoulders hunched and dressed in clothes five sizes too big for him.
"Yeah, we never gets any special treatment in the slammer, just 'cause it's Christmas," Bugle, the beatnik, agreed. He wore dark shades in front of his conventional Beagle mask, a beret, and unlike his brothers, he was sipping dark coffee instead of hot chocolate.
"They never suspected those File Fruitcakes!" Bouncer chuckled. "I bet now they's still scratchin' their heads!" He grinned, showing off his trademark missing tooth.
"And that's why I busted all of you boys out!" Ma said, smiling. "The family hadn't been together like this in years…And of course, you know Santa doesn't visit people in prison." She gave them a playful wink.
"So, uh, Santa's really comin, then, Ma?!" Baggy asked excitedly, holding up a raggedy looking stocking with his name written on it: B A GE. Taking one last proud look at it, he hung it up beside the others on the fireplace mantle.
BigTime, obviously not feeling the holiday cheer, just rolled his eyes. "Oh, boy. You can't still believe in that stuff."
His brothers all turned on him with accusing stares.
Bugle made an annoyed face- or from what BigTime could see of his face, anyway. "Then where do presents come from, man?" He then grinned and settled back into the couch, crossing his arms as if he'd made some kind of point.
"Not in front of the kids," snarked BigTime.
"Oh yeah? If he ain't real, then who's lap was I sittin' in at the Duckburg Mall that one time?" Babyface threw out.
"Yeah! And who eats da milk and cookies?!" Burger adds, nodding vigorously.
"I wrote him a letter!" Baggy insisted, looking sincerely upset. "And he got it. He's comin' and he's real!"
BigTime sighed. "Baggy, you think the Tooth Fairy is real."
"Well, uh, she IS! She gave me a bag of teeth!" Poor Baggy seemed to be getting more frustrated with every passing second.
"Lay off him, BigTime," Bouncer said. He and Baggy had always been close friends, and defending him from BigTime's taunting was part of the job.
"Huh. So looks like you really don't believe, then?" Ma asked from the sidelines, her arms crossed and smiling.
"Oh, c'mon, Ma, not you too!" BigTime groaned.
Bankjob patted Baggy on the back comfortingly. "Forget him, guys. He just plain doesn't believe in fun."
"Alright, enough, boys," Ma interjected, a devious little smirk on her face. "Now why don't we decorate our Christmas tree? We don't have any shiny, fancy ornaments…but I've got something just as good." She disappeared into the kitchen for a moment.
Bugle grinned and turned up the radio, and a cheery, static-filled carol immediately began lifting everyone's spirits. Ma returned, holding a long red thread embedded with glittery kernels of popcorn. It almost looked like a real decoration! Almost.
"Wow, Ma, where'd ya get that?" asked Baggy in admiration. "It's pretty!"
"Oh, this old thing? I made it myself," tittered Ma, beaming and basking in her sons' praise. "You know how I like to keep to my crafts!"
She tossed one end to Burger and the other to Bouncer. "Now just drape it around the tree, boys."
Burger licked his lips hungrily, but started looping the garland around the tree with his brother.
"It looks great, but ain't somethin' missing?" Bankjob mused as the two finished.
There was a momentary pause as all the Beagles looked at their work and thought. Even Ma wasn't quite sure…her past Christmases weren't exactly conventional.
"Oh, I know, I know!" Baggy suddenly said, looking up. "Yer s'posed to put something pretty on top of the tree!"
"Like what?" asked Babyface.
"Um…the moon, I think. The sun? Maybe?" Baggy scratched at his face uncertainly.
BigTime, who'd been quietly looking on all this time, sighed. "It's a star, genius. And we ain't got nothin' like that."
"Yeah, well, or, or, an angle!" Baggy retorted. His brothers looked confused.
"What's an angle?" Burger asked, sneaking one piece of popcorn into his mouth and making a sour face.
"I think he means an angel," Bankjob corrected. "You know, like…that thing… with the wings."
"Yeah, well, that's something only rich folks like McDuck can afford," BigTime said bitterly. "Meanwhile we can hardly scrape by to get our hands on toilet paper."
Baggy's glum countenance brightened. Without a word, he hurried to the bathroom and snatched the last few layers of paper off of the toilet paper roll. He ran back, grabbing a felt tip marker and grinning.
"Well, we can make one!"
BigTime facepalmed.
"Huh, artsy. I like it," Bugle approved.
"But apart from wings, we don't even know what an angle- uh, angel, should look like!" Bouncer shrugged his massive shoulders.
"Ah, that don't matter," Baggy said, scrawling a hideous smiling face onto the roll. "Ours is gonna be better anyway!"
Bankjob handed over some tissue paper, and Bugle helped Baggy sloppily glue it to the back.
"Gee, don't that look perfect!" Babyface admired, looking delighted.
"Wait, wait!" Baggy took back the figure and added one last detail to it: a black bandit mask around its eyes.
Bankjob placed it gingerly on the top of the tree where it could grimace at all of them. All the brothers- apart from the obvious- looked thrilled by their work.
"So boys, you ready for a good night's sleep in your own beds?" Ma offered.
"I can't, I'm staying up to see Santa!" Baggy declared, turning around and beaming at her.
"I'll stay up with ya!" Bouncer grinned, playfully punching his brother on the arm.
"Oooh, me too!" Babyface joined in.
"Me three…uh, four," said Burger. "Just in case he doesn't want all 'dem cookies!"
"We're all stayin' up!" Bankjob laughed. "So we can personally ask 'im why we never got those presents we wanted!" The boys cheered.
"Boys!" barked Ma. The group fell silent under her glare, but then her expression softened. "Well, I suppose now you're all old enough to do what you want." She smiled. "So have a good night." And with that, she headed off for her bedroom for some well-earned rest.
BigTime gave the rest of his brothers a withering look. "You're all nuts," he sneered, before stomping off down the hall after her, muttering to himself.
"Aw! We don't need that spoilsport," said Bankjob. He and BigTime were the two oldest brothers, but you wouldn't know it by the way they behaved sometimes. Honestly, Bankjob wasn't so sure in what he believed, but he wasn't going to let that ruin everyone's time.
"So when is Santa gonna get here?" Babyface asked eagerly, turning to Baggy, the now assumed Know-It-All on Christmas.
"Deh…well…" He glanced at the clock: eight thirty. "I think 'bout midnight! And I'm stayin' up no matter what!" Baggy said, his smile stretching across his whole face.
And so the Beagles sat by the fire, waiting for the hours to pass.
"So how does he go 'round the whole world in one night?" asked Babyface some time later, lying with his face in his hands beside the hearth.
"Ah, you know, his sleigh is equipped with like, hyper drive." Bankjob tried to explain awkwardly, stretching out on the couch.
"And his Rain Deer can fly!" Baggy added, sitting anxiously on the armrest. "You know, nothing flies faster than a Rain Deer. That's the reason it rains."
"What I really wanna know," Bugle said, bopping his head to the radio's music, "Is how Ol' Saint Nick knows where we're spendin' the night? I mean, if the cops had that kind of technology…" He shivered a bit.
"Well, ain't it true that he's always watchin' us?" Bouncer offered, smiling a little nervously. That seemed to scare him a little, and he laughed it off. "'Dat can't be right. Heheh."
"Well, he sees you when you're sleeping," Bankjob teased. "Wouldn't be in a song if it weren't true!"
Bouncer blanched.
"Oh, don't worry, you guys," Baggy assured them. "I bet right now he's on his way, comin' to deliver our presents!"
And so hours went by. The fire died out and the storm raged on outside. As time passed, the Beagle brothers began to get tired, nodded off, and fell into deep slumbers across the couch and floor.
When the clock struck midnight, only Baggy was still wide-awake, staring intently at the lifeless chimney. He could hear every click of the second hand on the clock like a drum drilling into his head.
And yet more time passed.
Then he heard it.
THUMP!
"It's him! It's Santa Claus!" Baggy cried excitedly, jumping up from the floor. "Guys, guys!" He started to shake his brothers awake.
"Ugh, what's wrong, Bags?" grunted Bouncer sleepily. Burger just moaned pathetically.
"This'd better be important!" mumbled Bankjob, his voice still heavy with sleep. He hated waking up unannounced.
"It's Santa," Baggy said, quieting his voice a little in case the big guy was listening. "He's here!"
Babyface perked up from his little blanket cocoon and looked around the dark room excitedly. "Gosh! Where is he?"
"Well, uh, he's comin'…any minute now." Baggy said, not liking how all his brothers' eyes were now boring into him. The air was still for a few moments, nobody speaking a word.
After five minutes, Bugle just shook his head. "Ain't nobody comin', man."
"But I heard-" objected Baggy.
Bankjob sighed heavily . "Look. It's late. It's almost 2 in the mornin'. If he was gonna show up, he woulda shown up by now."
"Let's face it," Burger whined. "Santa Claus don't care about us." It looked like those sugarplums in his head would never reach his belly.
"If a Santa Claus even exists," Babyface was dejected. Maybe BigTime had been right.
"Guys-" Baggy tried.
Bankjob just stood up. "I'm goin' to bed."
"Same," said Bugle, heading down the hallway in a slump. Burger and Babyface followed, disappointed and disheartened.
And then it was just Baggy and Bouncer.
"H-he's just runnin' late, that's all," Baggy insisted, his smile wavering. "Bouncer...?"
But his older brother just closed his eyes and shook his head. "Sorry, Bags. Maybe it's time to give this thing a rest."
He saw Baggy's eyes fill with hurt, and looked away. Grabbing his hat from the couch, he slunk off to the bedroom and didn't look back.
Baggy stood in the middle of the dark room, alone, listening to the soft pitter-patter of snow falling outside.
On the radio, which now was mostly static, a bulletin for the missing Beagle Boys was being issued.
He scrunched up his fists tight in his sweater, thoughts racing rapidly. Maybe…maybe they were right.
Baggy sighed. "I hope ya didn't forget about us, Santa," he said. "'Cause…we's been waitin' for you all year long." With one last glance at the sparkling tree and the table set with milk and cookies, Baggy finally threw in the towel and turned in.
The morning filled the Beagle Boys' room with bright, wintery light. The three bunks that the brothers ended up sharing were cramped, springy, and moldy, but still, it was better than sleeping another night on a cot.
Baggy had had hardly a wink of sleep, and the moment the morning sun showed its face, he was itching to go. Santa Claus or not…it was Christmas! And there was a whole winter wonderland out there to enjoy.
Doing his best to avoid waking the others, Baggy crept into the kitchen and looked out the window. Wow, there was so much snow!
"Merry Christmas, Baggy." said a voice. Ma sat at the table, drinking some coffee and giving him a smile. "So how'd your night go, dear?"
"Uh, well…" Baggy felt a little embarrassed. "Santa…uh, didn't come."
"Didn't come? Then what's that junk I see cloggin' up your stockings?" Ma asked, her smile widening.
"Huh?" Baggy perked up and rushed over to the living room. The milk and cookies were gone- and his stocking looked suspiciously bloated. She was right- it was loaded with goodies! Candy canes, saltwater taffy, little plastic jacks, and a little windup toy that looked an awful lot like a familiar mouse.
Baggy could hardly hold back his excitement! He grabbed some of the candy and rushed back to the bedroom. "Guys, guys!"
"Not again, Baggy," groaned Bankjob.
BigTime tossed to the other side of his bed. "When are you gonna grow up?"
"But guys, he came, he really came! Look…look, I got candy!" Baggy held up the handfuls of sweets.
This jolted them awake. Candy…now that was a rare delicacy for anyone of the Beagle Boys!
Burger was the first one to leap out of bed, frisking his big brother roughly all over. "What about me? Is there any for me?!" Babyface was next, hopping up and down in his face.
"Well, uh, yeah! Go look in your stocking!" The words were hardly past his lips before he was stampeded by his brothers.
"Ah, whaddaya know! Looks like he did show up after all!" Bouncer cried, picking up his stocking. He caught Baggy's eyes as he walked in and looked down, shamefaced. "Uh…I'm sorry, Baggy."
Baggy just grinned at him.
"Oh, I got licorice!" Bankjob said, looking pleased. "Guess Santa really knows his stuff!"
"He gave me some chocolate bars!" Babyface got to work. Nearby, Burger had already scarfed down most of his marshmallows, and Bugle loudly popped a bubble from his chewing gum.
BigTime entered the room, looking down at the floor as his brothers enjoyed themselves.
Well…no way had he expected this. He just couldn't believe it. Had he really been…wrong?
Baggy was staring at him, chewing stupidly on some taffy. "Why don'tcha look at what you got, BigTime?"
BigTime braced himself. He knew how it went; if you don't believe, you get nothin'. But the stares of his expectant brothers finally compelled him to pull down his stocking all the same, if only to please them.
But there was something inside it.
"Peppermints! And, and…" He fished out a miniature, cheap-looking pop gun and sniffed. It's what he'd always wanted…well, back as a kid when he used to believe.
"Aww, Merry Christmas, boys!" Ma came into the room, beaming, and hugged every one of her sons.
"But Ma, what about your present?" Baggy asked in her embrace, now realizing there was nothing left for her.
Ma chuckled. "Oh, don't worry about me, dear. I got a pretty great gift myself," she winked.
Her boys stared at her blanky. "What?"
Ma Beagle just laughed and waved her hands. "Ain't I allowed to have anythin' to myself now? Pssh. Now off with ya, outside! Go have yourself a Merry Christmas."
So the boys dashed off out into the yard, laughing and whooping, high on sugar and the goodwill of the season.
Ma smiled as she watched them through the frosted window, taking another sip of her coffee. Then she discreetly picked up and dumped a little bag into the garbage can. A little bag full of several lumps of coal.
