Catchy

Inspiration: Point, what point? (Koishi dare fic)

Standard disclaimer: They aren't mine!

"Point, what point? It's just a song that is fun to sing. You should give it a try, Ha-san." Shigure grinned when Hatori sighed heavily. Shigure smirked and went in for the kill. This song always got stuck in his head. Might as well have fun with it.

He began humming before singing in a beautiful tenor, "Ain't it good? Ain't it right? That you are with me, here tonight. Music playing, our bodies swaying in time. Touching you, so warm and tender. Lord I feel such a sweet surrender, beautiful as the dream that makes you mine. Rock me gently, rock me slowly, take it easy, don't you know that I have never been loved like this before."

Hatori grumbled, "Those lyrics are completely inappropriate to be singing in front of impressionable teens."

"Ah, but they are in English. Kyo and Yuki don't speak it. I don't think Tohru does either. The subject's never came up." Shigure giggled at his unintentional innuendo. "Neil Diamond has some racy songs to sound so mellow, ne?"

Hatori pinched the bridge of his nose before grabbing a cigarette. He always smoked more with Shigure or Ayame around. He was about halfway down to the butt when Shigure burst out in song again.

"Oh my darling, oh my baby, you've got the moves that drive me crazy, and on your face I see a trace of love. Come hold me close, don't let me go. I need you honey, I love you so. You were made for me by the stars above. Rock me gently, rock me slowly, take it easy, don't you know that I have never been loved like this before. Baby, baby, rock me gently, rock me slowly, take it easy, don't you know..." Shigure paused seeing Hatori stub out his cigarette. "Is something wrong, Ha-san?"

Hatori just gave Shigure THE LOOK. It always worked. Shigure dropped the innocent act. "But Ha-san, it's stuck in my head."

"Then get something else stuck in there." Hatori wanted to bite his tongue off when Shigure grinned perversely.

"Is Ha-san volunteering?" Shigure waggled his eyebrows suggestively. Hatori finally caved and chuckled. Shigure sighed happily. "It took you long enough. Come over for dinner. You could use some relaxation. I'm sure one of Tohru-kun's meals wouldn't be amiss either, ne?"

Hatori smiled and agreed softly. The hassenchi quickly turned off everything at his house and they left. (Random Rice Ball 'Hatori did the driving.') Hatori had turned up the driveway leading to Shigure's house when it happened. "Rock me gently, rock me slowly, take it easy don't you know." Hatori abruptly shut up and frowned at his cousin.

"I told you it was catchy. Ha-san, please don't hurt me." Tears streamed down the inu's face as Hatori glared ferociously at him.

Hatori turned his attention back to the road and parked as soon as he reached Shigure's house. Shigure leapt out of the car and ran inside before Hatori could catch him. Sighing, Hatori entered the foyer and removed his shoes. He placed them in the row with everyone else's.

"Hatori-san, I didn't know you were coming." Tohru bowed slightly as she saw the doctor.

"Shigure just invited me, Tohru-kun. It was rather sudden. I hope I'm not imposing."

"Not at all. Quite the opposite. Yuki's garden has been very productive lately. We could use a little help eating it all." Tohru reassured him. "Can I get you anything, some tea, perhaps?"

"Tea would be nice, thank you." Tohru quickly turned to leave. Hatori started to go into Shigure's study but the sound of humming drifted out of the kitchen stopping him in his tracks. It wasn't possible. He walked to the doorway and stopped. Tohru bustled around the kitchen humming the very song stuck in his head.

Tohru turned as the teakettle began to whistle and quickly poured the water in the teapot. As she arranged the tray she began to sing the same lyrics dancing through the dragon's mind. "Ain't it good? Ain't it right? That you are with me, here tonight. Music playing, our bodies swaying in time. Touching you, so warm and tender..."

Tohru looked up as Hatori cleared his throat entering the room. "I was just about to bring you the tea. Shigure's study, ne?"

"Ano, Tohru I have a question to ask first." Hatori paused until he saw Tohru's nod to go ahead. "Do you know what the lyrics to that song are?" Tohru gave him a puzzled look. Hatori sighed then clarified. "Do you know the meaning of those English words?"

Tohru's face cleared immediately with understanding. "Hai. Shigure-san told me." Hatori flinched internally. What had the dog said? He WOULD be the type to get his kicks out of teaching racy lyrics to an innocent. "Do you want me to tell you?" Tohru asked eagerly.

"Hai. I would love to know what you were singing about." Hatori lied smoothly to discover the extent of the inu's lies before pummeling him.

"It's about a couple slow dancing all night long. Isn't that a lovely idea?" Tohru beamed at him. Hatori almost choked. He didn't know whether to laugh or scream. The dog hadn't lied, much. It was a dance of sorts, but not one done in public.

"Hai. Lovely idea.' Hatori echoed weakly. He picked up his tea tray and left to find a certain inu. Tohru's lovely voice began singing behind him as he left.

He shoved the door to Shigure's study open with a loud * bang *. The inu jumped at the sound. He saw the tick starting in Hatori's cheek. 'Uh oh. What happened?' He didn't have long to wait.

Hatori set the tea down on Shigure's desk, not bothering to move anything. "A song about a couple slow dancing all night?!?!?!? What the hell were you thinking, Shigure? What if she goes to school and starts singing in front of some of her English-speaking friends and teachers? You need to rectify this matter and soon or I'll be forced to do so."

"Ha-san?" Shigure sputtered pointing behind the angry doctor.

Hatori spun around to see Tohru standing in the doorway. "I heard a bang. What does the song mean? It must be bad to have upset you so much Hatori- san. Gomen nasai. I didn't know." Tohru bowed as she tried to apologize for something she had no responsibility in.

"Tohru-kun, it's not your fault, HE should be the one apologizing to you." Hatori pointed to the inu's chair as he spoke. He turned his head to fuss more at Shigure, but the chair was empty. The sliding door leading to the porch was wide open. "He ran away." Hatori said blandly.

"Yes, he did. Hatori-san?" Tohru paused as she felt the dragon give her his complete attention. "What are the lyrics saying, really? The music is lovely and it gets stuck in my head. It would be nice to know what's being said even if it's to know why I shouldn't sing it."

Hatori felt his face doing something it hadn't done in years. He was blushing. How should he handle this? "You sing me a line and I'll translate. I only know the chorus."

"Hai." Tohru began to sing the first lines, "Ain't it good? Ain't it right? That you are with me, here tonight. Music playing, our bodies swaying in time. Touching you, so warm and tender. Lord I feel such a sweet surrender, beautiful as the dream that makes you mine."

Hatori slowly translated, feeling his face blush more with every innuendo and hidden meaning.

"Next is the chorus. I believe you said you know it." Tohru prompted. Hatori was blushing, but she didn't understand what in the lyrics had him so embarrassed.

Hatori quickly translated the chorus and his face achieved the deepest blush possible.

Tohru quickly sang the next few lines, "Oh my darling, oh my baby, you've got the moves that drive me crazy, and on your face I see a trace of love. Come hold me close, don't let me go. I need you honey, I love you so. You were made for me by the stars above."

Hatori began coughing. Tohru quickly poured him a cup of tea. The dragon slowly sipped it. He really did not want to translate the verse. Sighing he straightened and quickly told her what it meant before he lied to avoid the embarrassment. In for a penny.

"It's the chorus again after that. It's repeated several times. Thank you Hatori-san. I'm still not sure with the exception of one line why it is so bad, but I trust your opinion." Tohru turned to leave. Hatori finished the rest of his tea. He needed a smoke, bad. He'd had several hentai thoughts as Tohru sang those lyrics. No wonder Shigure liked it so much.

Hatori went out to the porch and lit a cigarette. He inhaled deeply, sucking in as much as he could. He slowly exhaled letting the smoke curl out of his nostrils. He jumped when Shigure poked him in the shoulder.

"You really resemble your zodiac animal now." Shigure chuckled as he watched the last of the smoke rise out of Hatori's nostrils.

"That was very wrong of you Shigure. Please tell me you haven't taught her any more of your racy English songs." Hatori placed a stern look on his face as he watched his playful cousin.

"All right. I haven't taught her anymore." Hatori studied Shigure carefully but didn't see any of his signals that he was lying. Hatori nodded in satisfaction and took another drag off his cigarette.

"I told her what the lyrics meant. You can't get your jollies that way anymore." Hatori waited and on cue, the water works started.

"Ha-san is so mean! It was just a little song and mostly innocent at that!" Shigure's ability to turn on the waterworks at the drop of a hat never ceased to amaze the dragon. Today was no exception.

Both turned as they heard Tohru's voice call out, "Dinner's ready!" Hatori stubbed out his cigarette and stood. He and Shigure entered the dining room. Yuki and Kyo were already seated. Tohru brought in the last of the dishes and settled in. The dragon and inu quickly took their seats.

Hatori looked at the huge spread before him. She hadn't lied about the overabundance of food. Everyone dug in after saying thanks.

"Ah, my little flower has outdone herself again!" Shigure rhapsodized as he patted his stomach. "I'm so full now I feel like I could burst." Everyone stood to go back to whatever they'd been doing previously.

Hatori helped Tohru clear the dishes. He kept hearing small snatches of the song being hummed as they worked.

After the third failed attempt to suppress the humming, Tohru sighed. "Hatori-san. How do you get a song that is stuck in your head out?"

"Normally I wait it out, but in your case, I'd suggest you pick another song that gets stuck in your head and start to sing it. It should replace the current one." Hatori placed the last of the dirty dishes on the counter by the sink. "It always works for me."

"Arigato, Hatori-san." Tohru began to run water to wash the dishes with. Hatori left to use the bathroom. On his way back he paused outside Shigure's study. He knocked gently and waited for a response. Hearing Shigure's call to enter, Hatori opened the sliding door and froze.

What was the inu doing? "Shigure?"

"Hai. I'll be through in a moment. I heard this is supposed to help settle a person's stomach after a large meal."

Hatori looked on in fascinated horror as Shigure hung from a bar by his ankles. The inu's yukata was covering his upper body, but everything below the belt was hanging obscenely for everyone to see. "I'm leaving now." Hatori spun on his heel trying to rid himself of the image of his cousin's naked lower half doing a crude gravity induced imitation of an erection.

He walked by the kitchen and froze in horror a second time. Tohru was singing another catchy English song. It was one of Haru's favorites. Hatori got to hear it way more than he liked since the ox insisted on playing it as loud as he could every day. He watched as Tohru's hips swung to the beat as she sang. He shook his head and left. There wasn't any way in hell he was going to translate THAT song.

Tohru, oblivious to Hatori leaving continued to sing, "I love the way you look at me. I love the way you smack my ass. I love the dirty things you do. I have control over you."

Owari