I suppose there's something to be said for always having my home filled with men who do nothing but eat my food, drink my beve

Title: The Longest Route

Author: Jesfrealo

Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own the seven.  I do own Karen Conrad.

Rated: PG

Authors Note:  Okay, this is kind of funny, hopefully kind of sweet and endearing to.  Also, it's a sequel to "Flights of Life" so be prepared.

I suppose there's something to be said for always having my home filled with men who do nothing but eat my food, drink my beverages, use my TV, use my computer, mess with my video games, and just generally use and/or abuse every single thing that I own.  Granted I wouldn't trade them for anything…it can just get…well…annoying.  I mean when they're not eating my belongings (and on one or two occasions this has not been limited only to food) they're using my belongings in such a way that it will either break said belonging or cause my electric bill to skyrocket.  But like I said I wouldn't trade these guys for anything.  Heck, I'm still reeling over the fact that they all took such a liking to me.  I mean, I'm no nun; I am the first to recognize the…um…aesthetic attributes of the guys.  But I'm also aware of my own aesthetic attributes are not exactly matching up with theirs, particularly the real wild card.  One, Ezra Standish.  I mean this is a man I genuinely like, I mean I really like this guy, like I like him and could really love him.  But, you see, here's my problem.  I don't know how he likes me.  I know he likes me as a friend, but after our first meeting, the whole airplane, dream incident, I thought he might actually like me and now I just have no idea.  My problem is that while I care about people I've stopped trusting them.  Particularly the male species when it comes to the heart, namely when it comes to my heart.  I've had it broken one to many times and I'm not willing to take that road again.  The problem being I can't just wait for things to play out with Ezra because I'm falling in love with him very quickly so I have to know how he feels about me because if I don't soon I may end up with a broken heart as the result of my own doing.  Hence the telephone call I am about to make.  My hands are shaking and my palms are sweaty, damn girl, it's just a telephone call.  Then again, who am I kidding?  I'm not falling in love with Ezra, I am in love with Ezra and if he doesn't feel the same way…well…I'll just have to die…

Okay, so maybe I'm being a little melodramatic but really this phone call means so much.  And this is the reason that I've got butterflies the size of fighter jets roaming around my stomach.  Just do it!!!  Okay, dialing his number: (103) 563-6578…waiting, waiting…oh, come ring! Ring! Ring! 

Ah, there she goes, ringing.  And still ringing…and…ringing some more.  Oh, man, where's Ezra?  How is he not home?!  Oh…fine…I'll leave a stinking message.  I hate answering machines.  They're always bad news…ya know? 

"Hello, you've reached 563-6578…I am not currently residing within my humble abode so record a message and I shall endeavor to return your call when I return"

Only Ez would leave a message like that. 

BEEP!!


"…Oh, yeah, um, Hi Ezra, it's Karen, um I sort of need to talk to you so...um…well…yeah…so…okay…when you get home can you give me a call?  Yeah, well, I'll talk to you then…bye…"

Oh, yeah, Karen that was just great…you're so articulate.  I mean he won't be expecting anything out of the ordinary after leaving such a smoooooooooooooth message on his machine.  Good Job!!!

Breathe deep, life will go on, so now all that's left is to break out the vanilla ice cream and watch some sappy love story…just the kind of movie I hate.  Following the half gallon of vanilla, I can break out the chocolate and move onto the hard-core…kick ass movies.  Ahhh, yes, on to the good stuff….

Four Hours Later (not to mention two cartons of ice cream, two movies, a case of beer later, and four answering machine messages later)

"Hey, Ez, where in hell are you?  Get your ass home, we've got taaaaaaaa, a, talk, yup, I gotta talk ta ya about some stuff.  Yup…sooo…well, I know you'll call when you get home..yup…cause your just that kinda guy…you're real a prommmm-a bu- well I forgot the word, but ya know I'm sure you know………..it.  Ooooohhhhh, nooo, your machine is gonna hang up on me….again….makin' those weird beeps…aaaaa…..yeah…call.. I love you, man, I really do. {Kissing noises as machine disconnects}"

Time to go to sleep, Karen…yup….sleep….but not before calling Ez one more time….1035636578

"Hello, you've reached 563-6578…I am not currently residing within my humble abode so record a message and I shall endeavor to return your call when I return"

"Nice message, Ez, I like it!  Anyway…just called to talk…yup…taaaallllkkk.  Soooo, huh,…guess your not home, huh?  That's okay…I'll wait…So, answering machine, how are you?  Whhaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzuuuppp?  HEHE…like the commercial…whhhhaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzuuupppp?  Heeeheeee!  Woooeeeee!  I'm tired, you must be tired too, answeeeerrrrrring machine, I've leaving lots of messages on you today..yup…There somebody you like answering machine?  I'm in love with your….owner…men…sccuuuummm…where is Ezra anyway?  Hrrmmmph!  Anyway…you're a woman…you know…ahh…you gonna hang up on me again…well, at hell with you {spits}  Damn you….Ezzraa…and your answering maching tooo…"

The Next Morning- 11Am

Brling! Brling! Brling!

What's that noise?  I'm being punished-my head-ahhhhhhhhhh! Ouch, too loud-pain.  What's that noise?  What did I do to deserve this?  Why is everything dark?  Oh, no, I am being punished, I've gone blind…

Brling! Brling! Beling!

Why? Why? Why?  I'm not a bad person…why is this happening to me?

Brling! Brling! Brling?

What is that noise?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Karen!!!"

"Ahhh!" Oh, my eyes weren't open (hehe).  Unfortunately they are now.  What happened?  Pueey! I smell.  What woke me up?  What time is it?  Oh shit….11, that's it, I'm dead, I'm actually going to lose my new job, figures.  What I can't figure out is what happened…

"Karen, I know you're in there…I hope you're there…"

Ezra.  The beer…{gasp}….the answering machine.  Maybe I can smother myself with a pillow…it's worth a try.

"Karen, if you don't come to the door by the time I count to ten, I'm shooting my way in!"

Do I really want to find me attempting to smother myself?  Then again, does I really matter at this point?  No.  Why is he here? 

"One!"

This must be hell…yes…that's it…I've died and gone to hell.  Oh, no, memory, don't come back.  Hello, answering machine?  Goodness gracious, how many brain cells did I kill last night?

"Two!"

Probably a lot more then I can afford to.  I can't believe I talked to an answering machine.  And the kissy noises?

"Three!"

What's the quickest way to render myself unconscious?  Perhaps if he finds me in a heap on the floor he'll take pity and not think me such a lunatic…

"Four!"

Go Away!  That's it, I'm going to throw a temper tantrum…Maybe if walks in here and sees me doing that I'll never have to face him.  All that would be left is for me to move to another state?  No country.  I wonder how hard it is to change your name?

"Five!"

Maybe if I hide…

"Six!"

Is it possible to drown yourself in a bathtub?  Perhaps I could entice my cat to mortally wound me?  Or strangle myself with the telephone cord…not like the thing had done me any good lately…

"Seven!"

Oooh, he's at seven…my head, ugh, my stomach…

"Eight!"

Barf!!

"Nine!"

"Don't shoot!  I'm coming!"  Maybe I should have said nothing and simply stood behind the door at number 10.  Okay…Unlock the door, open it a hair, then walk away really fast so I don't have to face him and try to get that stupid coffee maker to work…I hate that thing…1-2-3…

"Karen…We've got to talk…wait.  Karen, where are you going?" Ezra said walking in, just in time to see me beeline to the kitchen.

"Karen," Oh, great, he sounds concerned, and, better yet, like he's in the kitchen.

"Stupid coffee machine, you're supposed to make coffee, not make me scream, stupid-"

"Karen, please, look at me," I feel his hands spinning me around, now we're face to face.  I look down.  He lifts my chin so we're looking into each other's eyes.

"Allow me to make the coffee, why don't you…um…go bathe yourself…" He's trying to sound kind but really he's nicely saying that I stink…well, maybe the damage isn't so bad as I thought.  I mean, sure, I made a total fool of myself, but he doesn't seem to hate or be scared of me…wow.  Especially considering that the last thing I said was, "damn you and your answering machine."

I feel him gently walking me to the door and giving me a little shove in the direction of the bathroom.  Wow, I really do smell…yuck!

After the Shower

Well, now that my hang over is nearing it's end I guess it's time to face the music…

"Ezra?" I say as I enter the kitchen, drying my hair with a towel and brushing the tangles out.

"Here, my dear, have some coffee," He says and ushers me into a chair.

"Ezra, I'm sorry about the answering machine…I mean…"

"No need for apologies, darlin'. I'm the one who should be apologizin'-"

"What do you mean 'no need for apologies' and what in the world do you mean you should be apologizing?  You did hear those messages, didn't you?"

"Yes," He affirms.

"Then how can you say there's no need for apologies, further more, how can you say you should be apologizing?  I mean, I made a total ass of myself on your answering machine and-"

"Did you mean it?" He interrupts me quietly, his drawl quiet, almost self-conscious.

"Did I mean what?"

"What you said?"

"About?" I'm confused, for many reasons, namely, I don't quite remember what I said, only terrible, horrible bits and pieces.

"You said you loved me, do you?  I mean you said you're in love with me, are you?"  Ezra sounds nothing like his normal self.  He sounds quiet, self-conscious, afraid, and he not using big words.

"Yes."

He gives me a look, like 'is that all you going to say?'.

"Yes, I love Ezra.  Yes, I'm in love with you…"

"I love you, too," He says, at least I think that's what he said but maybe my mind is playing tricks on me. Maybe this is some cruel dream and in a moment I'm going to be ripped back in reality by my figurative boot strings….Oh, man, my breathing is heavy…

"Could you just say that one more time?" I breathe out.

"I love you," He nods.

"Now could you pinch me?"

"What?" He laughs a little.

"Don't laugh, this serious, now…pinch," I say.

He does…."Ouch!  That hurt!"

"You told me to pinch you," He says, with a smug grin.

"Yeah, but I didn't tell you I wanted a skin graft…" I rub my cheek absently before remembering that I'm really awake.  Hey, that means he really loves me! 

"My dear, are you crying?"

Oh, I am, "Yes," I say through heavy tears, oh man, I'm blubbering.

"Why?" He asks. 

"Because you love me…" Suddenly I feel Ezra's arms around me.  He is hugging me…holding me tight.  Just as suddenly, Ezra pulls away from me…I watch as he take a deep breath.  He's holding my face in his hands and wiping my joyous tears away with his thumbs. 

"I've never had anything like you happen to me before.  I've never loved anyone quite like I love you.  You're all I think about in the morning and I can't sleep for thinking of you at night.  When I heard those messages, when I thought you might actually love me too, I just had to hear, and to see you say it.  But first I called.  You didn't answer, so I rushed right over.  Then you didn't answer the door and I started to get worried.  That's when it occurred to me you might be embarrassed.  I thought the only person who owed anyone an apology was I, for not telling I love you sooner.  I just couldn't see how someone as intelligent, and funny, and beautiful as you could love somebody like me.  So, anyway, I realize maybe things are moving to fast so feel free to put your foot down but…well…here…" His voice is shaking, as are his hands as he reaches into his pocked and hands me an envelope, phew, for a minute I thought he was going to propose.

I take the envelope and open it…oh…maybe he is proposing…there's a diamond ring inside…

"Well?" He asks nervously, eyes darting all over the place, hands shoved deep into his pockets.

"Well what?" I shrug…

"You don't want it…I mean if don't that's okay…but-"

"Ezra, I'm no expert…" O great, my voice is stuttering and shaking worse then his and my breathing is rapid and sporadic, I'm sweating like a pig, very attractive… "Like I said…I'm no expert…but this looks…like an engagement ring…"

"It is-"

"Are you asking me to-"

"Yes, will you-"

"Marry you?"

"Yes, that's it…so…will you?"

"Yes…"

Suddenly, he's on his feet…"You will?"

"Yes," I stand up to.  Ezra's arms are around me holding me tight.  I feel tears streaming down my cheeks again.  But now I need to be sure… "Are you sure you want to marry…* me *?"  I ask.  I can't understand how a man like this would want to marry a girl like me.  But I love him so much.

"Of course I want to marry you…you're just…you're just…well, you leave me speechless, and as my compatriots will tell you that's no easy task."

"O, Ezra, look what you do to me, you've got me laughing and crying- I love you so much…" Suddenly Ezra lips are on mine, his arms around me.  They fit perfectly, like they were meant to be there.  I open my lips as his tongue enters my mouth.  This kiss is really intense…I feel a little lightheaded.  Wow…

He breaks of the kiss, "My dear, are you sure you want to marry me?"

"Are you always going to kiss me like that?"  I ask with just a slight amount of laughter in my voice, I feel like I'm gasping for air, and like I'm about to faint.

I watch as a cocky grin spreads across that handsome face and he says, "Yep…"

"Good, then I guess I can marry you," I laugh he's about to kiss me again when I pull back slightly and turn around, drawing his attention, big smile on my face I say, pointing at my newly broken monitor (done specially for me by Vin and JD, when all the guys invaded last week)  "I guess I'll never get rid of them now," I say with a laugh.

Ezra turns me around and pulls me close, so I'm staring right into his eyes, "My dear, I'm afraid not…" I know that look and I know something else is coming, "But with guys like us would you really want to?"

"No," I say honestly, "And there's this one guy in particular…"

"Oh, yes?"    

"* Oh * Yes," I say as Ezra reaches down and takes the envelope out of my hand, I watch as he slowly removes the ring and takes my hand, I feel the ring slip gently onto my finger, right as I speak again, "And he's right here," I say kissing him gently before continuing, "you know there's just something about him…"

"Is there?"

"Oh yes," I say, our faces are just a few inches apart and he's holding me tight…this is heaven on Earth, in know it.

"Yeah, I understand that completely he says, the woman I love is just like that…"

"Yeah, and who would she be?" I ask, expecting that by some cruel trick he'll say 'Oh, yeah, well she's in Florida' or something like that.

"She's…right…here…" He says and tightens his grip on me as if he's afraid I'll slip from he reach…are lips touch and mouths open once more and suddenly I wonder how I ever could have doubted him…It seems I always take the long way, but then again, when it ends up like this…there's definitely something to be said for the longest route.

THE END