Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any related characters
Sleepless Nights
I've had many sleepless nights this past year. My husband had been captured during the raid of the ministry. I had escaped beforehand, by his bidding. I was guilt ridden, most assuredly. The next day, The Prophet ran the headline news as "You-Know-Who Lives" and went on to list the Death Eaters captured. My husband was one of them. Since then, I've hated myself for running. I've wished that I could have stayed with him, that I could have helped him.
But here I am, in our manor, staring at my son as he sleeps, his last night at home before he returns to Hogwarts as a 'junior' Death Eater. I've been crying myself to sleep since the Master called upon my dear son to join our ranks. However, since my visit with Severus, I've been crying less and sleeping a bit more than usual. I'm relaxing, telling myself that my son won't have to commit murder. But I lie. My son will murder for the Master. And it kills me. I don't want the life that my husband and I live for my son. I want him to have a better life, a happier one.
My sister laughs at me and ridicules my worries. She does not understand, though. Bella said that she would give all her sons, if she had any, to the Master. But I laugh at her in my head, thinking that she would never do such a thing. But then I remember how many years she had spent with the dementors and my laughter subsides. Perhaps she would do such a thing. You can never truly tell with someone who's been enclosed with dementors for so long.
I find myself wishing forMeda at times. She would have understood why I don't want my son to go off to Hogwarts, trying to kill the Master's enemy. She wouldn't have told anyone either. Bella would, once again, laugh at me for wishing for Andromeda. She would say that I was weak.
But perhaps I am. Perhaps I am as weak as Bella thinks I am. I cry when I wake up at night and find that my husband is not there. I cry when I think of the danger my only son is going into. I cry when no one is looking. I break down.
And yet, I think that perhaps I might be stronger than Bella at times. I manage to slap on a smile when my son wanders through our manor and passes by the living room. I manage to maintain appearances despite my pain. I manage to hope. I manage.
But there is one good thing to my weakness, pain, and hope. It tells me that I am indeed mortal and that all this must one day end, however close or far that day may be. I look forward to that day, and pray that my husband will be there with me, that we can pass on together.
I jump slightly as my son slowly sits up on his bed and looks at me, standing in his doorway.
"Are you okay, Mom?" he asks. My dear, sweet son.
"Yes," I smile, despite the urge to cry. "I'm fine, Draco. Go back to sleep."
I turn around and walk down the echoing corridors. I've had many sleepless nights this year, and this is only one of them.
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Rea: soooooooooo? how'd you like it? I thought it was kinda cool, but i wrote it in about 15 minutes, so pardon the mistakes.
