Well, It Would Figure...

Author: Clarity Scifiroots
Notes: Stargate SG-1 fandom, Gen means no pairings No warnings either. This is just a bit of silly for wizefics's lovely twins request. worship I was saved! (7th day of June fic!)
Disclaimers apply, you know the drill.
Summary
: There's this itty-bitty confession that Sel'mac is forcing Jacob to make... (light-hearted humor)
Edited July 8, 2005

"There's something I need to tell all of you... I haven't been exactly forthcoming and, ah, Sel'mac is threatening to tell if I don't." Jacob squirmed uncomfortably in his chair, and by the expression on his face it was easy to tell that he was arguing with the other consciousness in his mind even now.

"Well...? Out with it, Jacob," Jack said in a bored tone. He rolled his eyes and glanced down at the doodles on the pad of paper in front of him. He noticed that Daniel had somehow encroached onto his space to draw a box for tic-tac-toe and had already put his "X" in the middle box. Jack smirked and took a corner box.

Sam was watching her father intently. "Dad, what is it?"

"Well, you see, when your mother was pregnant with you, we were just sending Mark off to college and we weren't exactly rich to start with..." He squirmed under Hammond's curious scrutiny.

Jack glanced up at Jacob while Daniel drew a victory line across his aligned boxes.

"I think it would be best if you..." Teal'c paused and lifted an eyebrow, "would 'spit it out,' I believe is the Tauri saying."

Jacob glanced guiltily at the inquisitive faces staring at him. Suddenly his eyes flashed and Sel'mac's voice muttered, "For cryin' out loud!"

"Hey!" Jack protested (as if the phrase had been copyrighted to him!)

Sel'mac gazed first at Sam and then, for some reason, cast a quick glance at Daniel. "What Jacob is so inelegantly not saying is that you have another brother, Samantha."

Sam sat in stunned silence for a moment, staring blankly back. "Wh-what?" she asked.

Sel'mac bowed his head and Jacob regained control. "Damnit, he's not supposed to do that!" Jacob muttered, mostly to himself. He refocused. "We had twins," he said to the table at large, glancing nervously at two gazes of the same eye color in particular. "When we found out, we were worried about how we'd manage two new kids on top of college years... We knew a couple who were expecting a child around the same time, but she miscarried unexpectedly and she was so upset..."

Jacob coughed into his fist. "Ah... But then we came up with a solution for all concerned... And, well, when the twins were born we had the other couple assume custody—"

"Jacob," Hammond said gently, "isn't this something a little..."

"Private?" Jack finished with some sarcasm escaping into his tone. He looked at Carter's still shocked expression. "I know we're close, but really."

"Well... it does sort of concern all of you..." Jacob began.

Daniel caught on first. "He ended up getting involved with the Stargate program, too?" Sam leaned forward eagerly, the same idea having begun to form in her mind.

"Who?" Everyone except Teal'c asked in unison.

Jacob leaned back in his chair to get as far away from the intense looks as possible. "It's, ah, i-i-it's Daniel!"

Silence.

Sam and Daniel blinked once in unison, momentarily breaking their identical stare. Jack's jaw had dropped and even Teal'c's eyebrows had crawled right into what should have been his hairline.

"You're shittin' me," Jack breathed finally.

Jacob gave a minute shake of his head.

Sam and Daniel turned to face each other instinctively.

Hammond leaned back in his chair with an odd smirk and a sigh of relief. Jack looked at him questioningly. Crossing his arms proudly, Hammond announced, "I knew it!"

Teal'c glanced at his still stunned friends and murmured, "Indeed."

Fin

This is how I imagine the scene would degenerate:

DANIEL: Dad!

JACOB: (tears) Son!

SAM: Dad!

JACOB: (tears) Sammy! Oh let me hug you both!

JACK: (still too stunned to move) ...Why...? I knew... scientists are... trouble!

TEAL'C: I believe we should excuse ourselves, O'Neill. (rises, Hammond joins him.)

HAMMOND: (peers at Jack worriedly) Uh... Jack?

TEAL'C: (comes around table and effortlessly grabs Jack's arm and drags him along as they exit. Meanwhile...)

SAM, DANIEL, & JACOB: (sob and hugs)

JACOB: Oh, my children!

SAM: Dad, I can't believe you!

DANIEL: (sniffle) Dad!