Disclaimer: I do not own anything except the computer with which I write this story.
Gekkou no nai sora ni sakura
月光のない空に桜
"Cherry Blossoms on a Moonless Night"
Prologue
Nito wo ou mono wa itto wo mo ezu.
"One who chases after two hares won't catch even one."
- Japanese Proverb
Darkness. Uncertainty.
Blood. Killing.
Hate. Love.
Fear.
These are the things that have come to embody who I am. What I have become. Once, I was sure of who I was. I was all things good and pure. Now, as I continue to fight, I am not so sure.
I've come to realize that it is this uncertainty which sways me: the battle between what is good and what is evil, what is pure and what is impure. I've nothing left to stand for, no foundation of beliefs to stand upon. There is only the void. The darkness. The youkai I fight, the tangible incarnate of my hate, my fear, my love.
The youkai... he and I fell to one another once. Long ago, it feels like an eternity now; and rightfully so. Our war will rage for eternity.
For as long as there is uncertainty, darkness in the hearts of ningen and youkai alike, there will be killing. There will be bloodshed, and there most certainly will be fear.
OoOoO
Sometimes I feel strong. Pure. Sometimes I feel as if I have been drained of all I have, and the youkai gains the upper hand, his youki much stronger than before. My reiki begins to wane, and I feel as if my end is near.
These moments lately have been making me feel unbalanced. Fatigued. There is no rest for my weary soul. The youkai tears into me, gash after gash, and it burns me to my core. The pain is unbearable, unending. This will be the end for me, I'm sure. If it continues for much longer, I will fade into nothingness, and the youkai, the unyielding evil, will take complete control of me. I have to keep fighting. I must endure.
But I'm just so... so very tired.
OoOoO
"Is this what being at peace feels like?"
That is what I hear him, the one responsible for my near-demise, say as the light envelopes me, and the innumerable youkai as well.
Warm, it's so very warm. Centuries of hate, darkness, uncertainty, and fear, washed away in an instant. Peace...
There is a woman here, too, standing with the Mononoke, the other him, the purer him... She's familiar to me as my brother. I know her, but I do not know her. I know him, yet I do not know him. He is he, but even if he is not, all I see is the Mononoke. I see what my heart wants; it wants to see the other he.
"Mononoke..." I whisper to the other him, or what I believe to be him, judging by the sword he wields and the color of his eyes. A laugh, no longer laced with the bitterness I once held for him, wracks my entire body. I smile and say, "You would be the last thing I see before I die."
But there is no hatred there. No fear for my life, my purity. Nothing but...
"Yes, I do believe this is inner peace."
