a/n: my fan fiction. hope u lik! if u wanna, r/r plz, but I don't really care. thanx!!

Disclaimer: Callie Talyssa James, her family and her friends and the story line are mine, the rest belong to Tamora Pierce

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~ Screams rang out, echoing through the trees. It was only one teenage girl yelling, but it sounded as though twenty were nearby and terrified.

.And he saw her, fading as though mist. Burned but brave, her sunny smile faintly appeared as she whispered "Goodbye" ~

***

I am doing my computer cleanout and I come across an old file - a Word document. Its title is strange, it's something I don't even remember writing. Although, it could be a couple of years old. My parents decree that I should clean out my computer's memory every two months or so, back up important stuff and delete the rest.

So, of course, I do.

Once-in-a-yelling-parent. Translation: about every two or three years.

Reading it through, I roll my eyes; I have such a dramatic way of writing. God, it could be a soap opera with a bit more crying. I am tempted to just get rid of it, but something keeps my finger off the delete key.

Who knows, it may come in handy.

Though what for, I can't imagine. Maybe if I need a bit of creative writing for English or something, that's a good way to get out of writing it - use something old.

It's very surprising, just how much junk I accumulate on my computer. Files and files, stuff from my friends, schoolwork. Most of it I just wipe without even bothering to read it.

Until I come to a letter.

A letter I never sent. A letter to my best friend, Jade. The reason I never sent it to begin with was I just couldn't be stuffed. It never was sent in the end, because she's gone.

She died in a car accident.

I hadn't spoken to her for a couple of years, after we went to different high schools and stuff. Then I found out. It is like an unending bad dream. One I can't wake up from. We'd been best friends since kindergarten or something, but then her parents sent her to a private school, while I went to the public. We began high school keeping in touch, but then, we just drifted apart.

To me that makes it worse.

Jade was like a sister to me, we were that close friends, we counted each other and our parents part of the family. My parents are taking it hard; they've become suffocatingly protective of me. Always worrying, where I am, who I'm with. Jade had died when her friend's car was hit by a drunken truck driver. Allyson died also. I slam the delete key, nearly going into tears at just the title.

But I don't cry.

I hate to cry, so I don't. I've trained myself never to show my emotion or to let it control what I do. I only smile. But even that make me feel vulnerable, like someone can hurt me with it. I am so worried about what people are going to do.

What their reaction to me will be.

I try to be perfect, so nothing about me will be wrong. Nothing will give someone a weapon against me. I score perfect marks on tests, make sure I'm popular, keep myself surrounded by people like a shield. I just keep my mouth shut in class, even when I know the answer.

I can't bear to be wrong.

My mind in a fog, I give up on the computer. I fall onto my bed and stare blindly around. An effort, my whole self feels like I'm under water, but I'm not soaking wet. I can hardly hear my mother calling my name; it's like a distant chant.

"Callie. Callie. Callie."

I try to answer, but she can't hear me. Her voice grows angrier, and harsher; I'm being disobedient.

"Callie. Callie. Callie. Callie Talyssa James!"

She's at my bedroom door now and her voice is starting to sound scared. I can't move, can't breathe, the fog is filling up my lungs.

"Cal! Calsa! CALSA!!"

She is yelling. Her voice breaks the fog as she puts a hand to my face. My paralysis ends and I moan. Now I ache so badly, it's as though I've pulled every muscle in my body. Again, I am nearly crying, I'm so frightened.

What had happened, am I going mad, drowning in fog?

Or is it just a dream, a nightmare with my eyes open?

***

I didn't then know what my story meant, or what would follow, or what I would find out about myself.

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btw does any1 no the ages of the royal family and Alanna's family the year of Kel's crowning??? and where they got to??? thanx!