One day a man with a bow tie who lived in his flying machine, crashed and met a small girl of about 7 years of age. Being a bit of a kiddy-fiddler, (like Harry), he would have liked to have met her even younger, but now that he had crossed her personal timeline, he was unable to visit her at an earlier point, because it was apparently against the laws of time.

After a bit of fun with some fishy fingers and custard, he left her before the next mourning.

He happened to meet the very same ginger bird, years later and they became friends.

One day he decided to set the controls to random on his flying machine.

It just so happened that out of all the planets in all the galaxies he ended up in London, England, Earth, in the 21st century. Once there, one of his previous companions, ran to the flying machine and started begging him to take her back.

"Oh great, not the Ex," exclaimed the man, as he shut the flying machines doors behind him.

The current companion said nothing; as she was too busy preparing for a baby who would be called River Song, so that the man, would have another child to go in the flying machine's; so called "swimming pool". Of course this wasn't a swimming pool but a storage space for children.

Anyways, the man got back into the flying machine and decided to fix the chameleon circuit so that no more old companions could recognise his machine. This changed it from an old police box into what ever was least recognisable for the time-period.

The man, his companion, and River Song, now fully grown up, (much to the man's disappointment) decided to test the new, fixed flying machine, by going to the same place they had seen the old companion. When they were there, they found the man had got the wrong place and they found themselves in a construction yard.

They all got out and wandered off, only find the place was filled with aliens from some planet. They also found a crack in space and time. Since the man needed a slash, he thought he may as well just aim it at the crack, so that it would disappear into the void.

Meanwhile back where they had parked the flying machine, it had disguised itself as a portable toilet. A construction worker, happened to click his fingers as he walked past it, which can now open the flying machine apparently. He went inside…

"These modern toilets are amazing!" he thought as he, pulled down his pants and opened up the flying machine's main console. He had a bit of constipation, so took a large dump right on top of the time-vortex. In doing so, he became immensely powerful and his wish was fulfilled. He chose to become an arch nemesis of the man and called himself Davros.

However, either large amount of energy Davros gained as a consequence of opening up the time vortex, or perhaps the smell of the dump he just made caused him to collapse into a comma.

The man, his companion and River Song, came back to the flying machine. The episode for this week ended right there, meaning we have to wait a whole week for part two. Oh wait, the actors are so lazy, we now have to wait a whole 6 months for the next 7 episodes of the series to be shown. By which point we have all forgotten what happened to the kiddy-fiddler, prostitute, River Song and the new character created from a pile of poo.