Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Star Wars Characters or story.
Nothing to Rejoice Over
by: firewingz
"The mission has been a success." Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn only knew the words, only knew when to use the words, but didn't know what those words truly mean. He says it without any feelings, without any joy, or sadness. That's how he reported it to the temple. His expression was peaceful, if you could call it that. It was more like his expression was devoid of emotion, of any pain or happiness."I request another mission," Master Jinn asked to the twelve council members. Those words, like every word he said during his report to the council, were devoid of meaning. There was no anticipation, or desire for another mission. He only knew that once one mission was completed, he had to ask for another mission right away, because if he didn't, if he delayed, he would remember. And remembering was far worse than death.The twelve council members looked at one another, but ultimately, looked at Master Yoda. They held a silent conversation between themselves and the decision was unanimous.
"No," Master Yoda said. His decision was firm and backed by the rest of the council. Master Jinn had a flicker of surprise through his expression before regaining control. That one little word crumbled his world as he knew it. He didn't understand, why wouldn't the council permit another mission. He's completed all his missions successfully so far.
"Why not, my masters?" Master Jinn asked, trying to reign in his despair and panic."Four years you've been doing this. It must stop," Mace Windu answered gravely."But why? I haven't failed any of them. My records show that I am eligible to ask for another mission.""You may be eligible by your records, but each time you return, you're life force dwindles more," Ada supplied."But...""No, the answer is," Master Yoda said, silencing Qui-Gon Jinn. "Grounded to the temple, you are, until further notice."Master Jinn would have continued his futile argument, but Yoda tapped his walking stick furiously. "No, the answer is," Master Yoda repeated, "Excused, you are."Master Jinn quickly bowed to the council and stormed out. He feared that if he stayed any longer, he'd say or do something he'd regret. The council must surely understand that he needed these missions. These missions kept him sane, these missions helped him forget, these missions were the only thing separating him from his inner demons--from Xanatos.Master Jinn walked briskly towards the Meditation gardens, hardly comprehending who or what he was barging into. So deep was he in his thoughts that he completely knocked over a young initiate.
The Jedi Master quickly snapped out of his revere and focused on the boy. His hair was a ginger-color, shining in the afternoon rays. He seemed to be in a little pain and seemed tired. "I apologize. Are you alright?"
The little boy looked up suddenly, and the Jedi Master could not help but feel the force radiating off of him. The boy's sea-blue eyes were so bright, were shining so brightly with the force. Even a mere stranger would have noticed the goodness that radiated off of the boy."Yes, Master. I am fine," the young boy replied cautiously. He'd heard tales of this revered Master. The boy kept trying not to look into the Master's eyes, but he couldn't help it. Something was pulling him towards this renowned Master. When he complied, the boy found only loneliness and despair radiating off of Master Jinn.
If it weren't for the answer, Qui-Gon would have stayed basking in the light of the force from this boy. "What's your name?" Master Jinn asked helping the boy to stand and noticing how the boy was almost frightened of him and pulled back immediately after he stood up."Obi-Wan Kenobi," the young initiate responded shakily. Bumping into Master Jinn had aggravated a saber cut on his stomach and he desperately tried to hid it from the revered master. "Master Qui-Gon Jinn, I am sorry. I didn't mean to bump into you."The Jedi Master was slightly surprised that the boy knew who he was. After all, the Jedi Master hardly ever stayed at the temple."It wasn't your fault, I was not watching my way either. I apologize.""It wasn't your fault either Master Jinn. Thank you." Obi-Wan Kenobi bowed, but found that when he looked up, everything was dizzy. He blinked a few times, but the dizzy spell got worse. Suddenly, he was just swaying and everything went black.Qui-Gon noticed how the boy was swaying and caught the boy before he hit the floor. The brightness of the force dimmed just a little. Qui-Gon panicked a little, he didn't want anything bad to happen to this kid, he didn't want anything to dampen his force. The Jedi Master suddenly realized how attached he became to this boy. He dismissed his thoughts for now, Obi-Wan needed to go to the Temple healers immediately.After the temple healers had immersed Obi-Wan's saber wound with bacta, they placed him into a healing trance. Obi-Wan had been too exhausted and had lost a fair amount of blood, though the wound seems to be a couple days old.
Qui-Gon Jinn decided to stay with Obi-Wan in the infirmary. He wondered how this boy could have gotten a saber wound that deep and didn't go to the temple healers immediately. He looked at the boy again. His face did seem a little paler then usual and he also noticed for the first time a hand-shaped bruise around his neck. It seemed like someone had tried to suffocate Obi-Wan. But who would do such a thing to such a nice child?
The Jedi Master could feel Obi-Wan's body needing the sleep, apparently deprived of sleep for some time. Qui-Gon brushed some of his ginger hair from his forehead and felt a familiar tingle in his mind, like a bond forming.Master Jinn quickly shut it down. He didn't want a padawan, he couldn't have a padawan, he didn't deserve a padawan like Obi-Wan. His failure still stood painfully alone in his mind of despair. But whenever he looked at Obi-Wan, he could feel that the light was penetrating his darkness of despair. He could feel the light of Obi-Wan basking his mind with the light he thought he had lost when Xanatos fell.
Qui-Gon liked this child, but how could he, a failure, accept such a bright child like Obi-Wan?
"What do you have to lose?" A voice said behind the Jedi Master. Qui-Gon turned around, startled by the voice and found his once best friend Mace Windu standing by the doorway of the room.
"Mace...I'm sorry, I did not hear you come in."
"You didn't answer my question," Mace continued. He knew that this was a pivotal point in Qui-Gon's life. As a best friend, Mace will try anything to help Qui-Gon. He knew he had to get through to Qui-Gon's force-enhanced thick skull soon, or else Qui-Gon will simply die. "Right now, at this point in life, what do you have to lose?""Nothing, I have nothing to lose," Qui-Gon answered a little more harsher then he intended.Mace looked at Obi-Wan, sleeping peacefully under the covers. Everyone knew that Obi-Wan was a special child, he was especially bright and strong in the force, a very promising youth and a child full of laughter. Mace turned back towards Qui-Gon, "Then tell me, my dear friend, What do you have to rejoice over?"Mace didn't wait for an answer and instead walked right out of the room. But Mace didn't have to hear the answer to know it. Qui-Gon sat beside Obi-Wan unblinking after the question. But he found that although he wanted to have a comeback for that, he could not find any. The question rang through his head, 'What do you have to rejoice over?'Qui-Gon knew the answer. It was plainly obvious. He shut out his friends, his memories, and his past. But by doing so, he not only shut out the bad parts, but he also shut out the good memories. For the first time in four years, he let a tear slip down his check. Even though Xanatos had betrayed him, he and his former padawan did have good times in the past. He suddenly remembered Tahl and Mace. He remembered how the three of them would be laughing and joking around after a hard two years of constant missions. He suddenly remembered the laughter of youth, the innocence of youth before the harshness of reality hit them all. But even through the tears, they could laugh, because they had each other.'I once had things that I rejoiced over,' Qui-Gon realized. 'And I rejected them.' Qui-Gon looked over at Obi-Wan, still sleeping peacefully in his healing trance and knew that he wanted this boy to be a part of his life.To Be Continued?
I don't know about this chapter/story. Tell me if you want this to be continued. I know this chapter/story sucks. Please give me any advice or flames that you want. I would be very thankful. Thank you!!! Please rr!
