Summary: "„You have to get ready, it's time!" She said with tears in her eyes. „For what?" He asked innocently, although he knew. „For her funeral! ", she answered with a broken voice and Chuck felt a pain deep inside his chest. It was his heart, who couldn't bear this word related to her." What if Chuck never got the chance to say I love you back?
Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or any of it's characters.
Silence in his room. The only thing he heard was the clock turning 9. It was time for him to get ready. He had no strength in his arms to get up from his bed. The only thing he thought about at that moment was: why did that happen? Why haven't he seen that coming? He thought he would have known her, but apparently he hadn't known her at all. A tear ran down his face. He didn't want to cry, he was Chuck Bass for God's sake. Chuck Bass the womanizer, Chuck Bass the emotionless guy, Chuck Bass the guy, who couldn't tell his one love that he loved her.
But he wanted to say it so badly; he remembered how she had said it the last time with tears in her eyes.
Her words were: Chuck Bass, I love you; I love you so much it consumes me! He had no idea that it really consumed her. And what did he do? He pushed her away and walked away like a coward. He regretted the last words that he said to her „Maybe it was, but it's not anymore". How could he do that to her, to the one he loved? He didn't just lie to her, but also to himself. He remembered how desperate she had looked after that, it had hurt her too much.
Her trembling and the tears, which rolled down her cheeks, were too much for him to bear. It was the second time she had said it and the second time that he hadn't said it back. He could only imagine how awful it was for her. He regretted that night. He would do everything to turn back time until that night and say it back, those three little words she wanted him to say.
He would say it! He would scream it out loud for everybody to hear, that everybody could hear, that he was in love with the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. That Blair Waldorf was his and would be forever. But now, he had no chance to say it anymore and she had no chance to hear it. She was gone, forever...
Footsteps, who sounded like Blair's and who were getting louder and louder, interrupted his thoughts. He closed his eyes and wished it would be Blair, who was coming to him and telling him that everything's okay, that nothing had happened. He would take her in his arms and never let her go again.
Of course, he knew that it couldn't be her, but thought if he hoped it from the bottom of his heart, he could wake up from this nightmare he was in. The door opened and so did his eyes. The disappointment was visible in his face, when he saw Serena and next to her Nate. Both dressed black.
She looked horrible; her eyes were swollen and red. She must have cried the whole night. Of course, she had. Her best friend had just died. Nate was also not in his best condition. Chuck remembered the phone call from Serena, while he was in Europe. He remembered how she had cried and how he hadn't understood a word she was saying. He had thought that she was in trouble like she always was and needed his help, but when he heard the name Blair and hospital his heart had stopped beating for a moment.
Two days earlier:
Chuck Bass was dealing with the fact that the only woman he loved, had done something that really hurt him. He never thought it would be possible that a woman could hurt him in any way, but this woman always managed to do so. Why did she do it? Only to hurt him like he hurt her in the past? Was it just a terrible mistake? He couldn't judge people's mistakes, because he was one of those who even repeated mistakes, like letting her go for the second time.
The best thing Chuck Bass can do is run away and that unfortunately was exactly what he did. He ran away to Europe to just escape from the UES for a while, to escape from her, her feelings and his own feelings. Two weeks he was travelling along Europe and now he was walking down the Champs-Élysée in Paris just to have time for him alone, but every where he went that tiny brunette caught up with him and he ended up buying her gifts, although he was pretty much pissed at her.
But it wasn't a surprise anymore, because the same happened in each country he spent time. It was just a confirmation that he really loved her, really wanted to be with her even if it scared him to death. He was sure that he was ready to tell her, to return the favor, to make her happy with his confession. He had to let the past stay in the past and just move on, because he knew that he wasn't a saint either. With four bags he went back to his limo and wanted to go back to the UES to tell his woman that he loved her, when his phone started to ring. He picked it up without checking, who it was.
"Hello?" He said, while putting the bags into the limo.
"Chuck?" A weak voice asked.
"Serena, what's wrong?" He asked worried.
"Chuck, I and …she …I don't know what to do…I've never thought she would do such a thing and…I'm scared…", she was crying and got cut off by Chuck.
"Serena, calm down. I don't understand anything. Are you in trouble?" He asked and was trying to put the pieces of information together so it would make sense.
"She's in the hospital and she isn't feeling well, I'm scared that we will lose her." Serena said, while she choked back a sob.
"Who?" He asked confused, Blair never crossed his mind.
"Blair!" She answered in a painful whisper.
"In which hospital are you?" Not leaving a second of silence after her respond.
"St. Laurence." She said, and he could still hear her crying.
"I will be there as fast as possible." With that he hung up and told his driver to bring him to the airport. He had to fly back to New York immediately.
While flying back he just noticed how many presents he had bought for her. He had prepared himself to finally say those three words to her. Little did he know that her conditions were that bad and that he would never have the chance to say how much he really loved her and how much she meant to him. Everything!
A/N: So that's it for the first chapter. The next chapter will continue with the flashback and for the one who wondered where the part from the summary is, I will use it in another chapter :) Tell me if you like it by clicking on the green button ;)
