A/N

My dear Bering and Wells family, there has been such a severe influx of angst recently that I felt the need to intercede if only temporarily. There will be spoilers up to 4.18 and some obvious canon divergence.

I don't own the characters, but they are rather fun to play with. And I have a lovely profession, but this isn't it.


Something always brings me back to you.

It never takes too long.

No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.

- Gravity, Sara Bareilles


It simply just hadn't been Myka's month. In fact, it hadn't been her month in several years. She'd become happy enough in her everyday routine at the Warehouse, but the ensuing tragedy seemed to follow her doggedly. Much of the heartache of the last two years circulated around a certain British time-traveler and inventor. From meeting at gunpoint, to betrayal, to selfless redemption, to disappearing, there wasn't a form of grief known to humans that Myka hadn't felt in relation to H.G. Wells. The latest wound was still too fresh to wipe from her mind. H.G. stood and watched her drive away. She chose a man over Myka. Not that the two women had ever directly spoken about their feelings for one another. But their history spoke for itself. Over time they had saved each other time and time again. Myka, at Yellowstone, saved them both when she offered up her life. And Helena repaid the favor when she made the ultimate sacrifice to save Myka. That had been the only time a confession of love occurred, in a timeline that ended in tragedy.

Sitting on the exam table, Myka decided it was simply poetic justice. She'd lived a dream for a short time. She had the most exciting job she could have ever imagined. She circled the globe, saving the world and seeing some of the most amazing things humanity had to offer. And she met her childhood hero. True, H.G. Wells was nothing like she had imagined, but the woman endeared herself almost immediately. Myka had never experienced someone who understood her so thoroughly and with such ease. It proved to be a double edged sword. It made the great betrayal possible and the emotional aftermath shattering. In her own way Myka flew too close to the sun, one she knew to be named Helena. The wax of her wings melted and now she was falling back to Earth.

She knew she should listen to the words coming out of the doctor's mouth. But everything after "cancer" blurred into her memories of grief. She'd given little thought to dying in a conventional way. Her life was so exciting and she was so young. The man's voice continued to drone on. She caught a few damning words. Early advanced. Immediate aggressive treatment. She was numbed to the sheer emotions of her life and listened passively to the words spoken to her. She mutely agreed to the course of treatment. It was extensive and yet the numbers weren't in her favor. In any other situation she would have kept her condition a secret, but she wanted to at least be able to say her goodbyes on her terms.

While waiting for a print out of her treatment schedule from the nurse, she typed a quick message into her phone. She chose to take a cab to get to the office, but she wanted Pete to pick her up. They'd spent nearly every waking hour together for 4 years now, and he would understand that the quick request was more than a ride. He pulled up in record time. He jumped out of the SUV and squinted up at the name of the building. With knowing eyes he strode quickly to her and gathered her in his arms. The wall holding back her emotions broke in his strong embrace. In heaving sobs she told him everything she remembered. It wasn't much, but he seemed to understand. After she quieted, he loaded her into the car to take her home. Together they agreed that they would share the news with the entire team at the nightly dinner. The small group had been through every imaginable pain together, and this too they would bear as a family.

Before dinner Myka returned to her room to shower and change in an attempt to wash away the tears and sorrow. As always the hot water calmed and centered her more than any other single activity. She chose comfortable clothes, digging to the bottom of a drawer to retrieve the lightweight blue button up. It long ago lost the scent of the woman to whom it originally belonged, but it lost none of the emotional comfort. The others would notice, she knew, which is why she'd never worn it outside of her room. But life was too short. Her life was too short to care. She walked down the stairs as confidently as she could.

She found her small dysfunctional family sitting around the kitchen table. Abigail was placing the final dishes on the table and gracefully steered her into the open chair between Pete and Claudia. The youngest member of the team grinned widely at her, before launching head first into sharing her latest adventure with Steve. Myka happily watched her recovering family interact nearly as it had once been. She hated to be the source of their return to sadness. In predictable Pete fashion, he wasn't about to let her off the hook. When the meal was almost done he stopped the bouncing conversations saying,

"Guys, guys. Two secs please. Myka needs to tell you all something."

She looked at him, trying to remember why she agreed to this at all. She could feel all of their eyes on her and not for the reasons she was accustomed to. She started quietly hoping that her voice would carry through the short message,

"I..." she began. She took one more deep breath trying to steady her breathing. "I went to the doctor today. And it isn't good news. I have early advanced ovarian cancer." She watched their faces fall. Before anyone else could formulate questions she continued. "I'll start treatment immediately, and the chances of success are still limited." She turned to Artie. "I know this makes me less useful and if you need me to go back to Colorado I will."

"No," he choked out. "No, this is your home. You stay here with us. I'll call Vanessa. Maybe there is something she can do to make you more comfortable."

"Thank you," she whispered in response to the man who'd become like a father.

Claudia and Steve said nothing, but pulled her up and into a tight embrace that felt a bit like a Myka-sandwich. And for the rest of the evening, she was surrounded with love and friendship. She curled into the couch, watching whatever "Pete-movie" her playful partner put on. It felt as normal as life had in the last year and she was happy to take the moment. She didn't notice Steve and Claudia slipping out of the room.


The young agents made eye contact hours ago just as the bad news was shared. They communicated silently that they need a plan. Since she'd hacked into the Warehouse what now seemed like ages ago, Claudia had come to think of the agents in the Bed and Breakfast as her family. And Myka always hurt more than the rest of them. This latest blow was grossly unfair. Steve quietly lured the youngest agent out of the living room once Pete and Myka became engrossed in the movie.

"We have to tell her," he whispered.

"H.G.?"

"Yes. I know that Myka decided to let her go because of Nate and Adelaide and her pride, but she should know. Whatever it is that is between them isn't over, even if it never began."

"Alright, I'm down. What the plan?"

"I think I go. I'm the closest we have to an unbiased 3rd party. And maybe I can get her to listen."

"You are a brave man for delivering bad news to H.G. Wells after she let Myka drive away."

"I never claimed I wasn't foolish, Claud. But this is the one thing I can give to Myka. But, hey, don't tell her or anyone else what I am doing. If H.G. doesn't come back, I don't want her to know. It will only make things worse."

"My lips are sealed."

"Then I am out of here tonight. Cover for me. I'll be gone a couple of days. Artie knows I am taking a vacation. He just doesn't know where. I'll have my farnsworth if there is anything urgent."

Claudia threw her arms around the young man. His transition into the Warehouse was difficult, but they'd become everything to each other. His desire to do something nice for Myka was all of the reasons why she'd grown to love him so completely. He quietly extracted himself from her embrace and exited the house.


Finding the house where H.G. was staying hadn't been hard. After the mission Pete and Myka went on, Claudia knew the coordinates of the house and was happy to provide them. Steve felt vague apprehension in showing up, but there was too much at stake not to follow through. He bounded up the steps, fidgeting slightly. He secured his badge in his hand, in case Nate were to open the door. He knocked solidly, hoping that it conveyed more confidence than he felt. After a few moments the door swung open and the brunette British beauty came into view. Confusion painted her face.

"Steve? What are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry for disturbing you. It won't take long." He swallowed hard before continuing. "Its about Myka. She's... she's been diagnosed with cancer. And honestly, H... Emily, it isn't good. She is starting treatment, but still. You should come back with me."

"I can't. I can't leave Nate and Adelaide. I can't go back to the Warehouse, but please give her my best. Tell her to recover quickly."

The young man shook his head fervently, so deeply disappointed in her reaction. "No, I won't be the one to tell her that you knew and still didn't come. She loves you, you know. She will go to her grave loving you. And here you are playing house because you are afraid." He turned to go down the stairs. He paused at the bottom to look back up at her shocked face. "I hope you don't have any regrets, Helena."

He strode quickly down the path, wanting to get in his car and out of Wisconsin as quickly as possible. He was halfway down the street before he noticed how hard he was shaking. He really hadn't expected to fail. Returning to the Warehouse empty handed seemed monumentally difficult and Claudia's inevitable disappointment suffocating.


In his haste to get away from Emily Lake, he'd entirely missed what the information he spoke did to the woman. Wrapped in her lab coat disguise, she was frozen in place in the doorway of the home she shared with a man and his young daughter. The cover at first had been so natural. They were a warm sweet family, incredibly mundane and happy in their normalcy. Adelaide helped to fill the space in her heart that Christina's death blew apart. Their average 9 to 5 life was an incredible escape from the constant chaos and strain of working for the regents. She thought it was enough.

Her resolve was first questioned a few weeks earlier when the curly headed agent and her childish partner walked back into her life. The brunette was undoubtedly changed from the last time Helena has seen her. The past year seemed to have aged her, but she was grateful that the falsely straightened hair was gone at least. She tried to lie to herself and claim that she hadn't seen the same fire in the woman's eye or that she wasn't affected by the warmth of her touch. But deep down she knew nothing had changed between them.

And now this. She would try and bury this hurt, because Myka and the Warehouse were forever intertwined. And if she could not live with the Warehouse she had no business being with Myka. She wanted a chance a normal life and what she had now was assuredly normal. But this decidedly abnormal visit from a man she barely knew, declaring the love of Myka for her. A love she could never be worthy of began to shake the foundation of what she was building. She turned back to go inside the house to finish getting ready before she went to work, knowing damage had been done. Steve was right about many things. She was using the family she lived with to shelter her from her own pain and fear.


In the months that followed the diagnosis, the inhabitants fell into a new routine that centered on Myka's treatment and well being. As she was taken off physical missions, she became a part of the research team. As she continued to weaken, Claudia installed a remote terminal in the Bed and Breakfast allowing the agent to work in her pajamas if she liked. Abigail adjusted the food. The first round of changes were meant to have homeopathic effects. Soon however, diligence gave way to anything that could be kept down with the number of drugs coursing through her system. Vanessa came the night that Artie called her and had yet to leave. The two of them claimed it was a convenient excuse to be able to grow their relationship, but it was a thinly veiled. Myka's condition was serious and worsening. For her sake the Warehouse doctor rarely strayed from her vicinity.

It was becoming clear only a few months in that Myka might very well be fighting a losing battle. She wasn't coping well with the drugs and their side effects. Every treatment seemed to becoming more taxing and she could feel herself slipping. She'd always been fit, so it was quite the shock the morning she woke up and realized she could hardly move herself to go to the bathroom. After a long struggle she nearly made it back to bed before she fell. The sound of her body collapsing echoed throughout the house, sending a small army running into her room. Vanessa immediately called an ambulance, insisting that they go to the hospital.

Sensing the panic in the doctor's actions, Claudia quickly snapped a picture of the frail woman on the gurney being pulled into the ambulance. Though it was impossible to see her face, to the recipient it would be crystal clear who it was in the picture. Weeks before, she'd hunted down the cell phone number for Emily Lake. It hadn't been even remotely difficult to find. In a way she had hoped that she would never need to use it, but this felt like the last opportunity. She attached the picture with a short message. If you are coming, this may be your last chance. We'll be at the hospital.


Emily Lake didn't have any reason to silence her cell phone at work. They were allowed in the lab and it wasn't often that anyone tried to contact her during the work day. The few occasions had been because of Adelaide. But she would no longer receive such phone calls. After the last mission with Pete and Myka, followed by the visit from Steve, all of the things she thought she liked about her relationship with Nate crumbled around them. At first they bickered over small things, but it only seemed to escalate. And he couldn't imagine letting a woman win. As much affection as she felt for the little girl who reminded her of her own long gone daughter, she quickly realized that the conflict was worse than losing a temporary mother figure. So a week prior she'd packed her few suitcases of clothes and moved into a hotel near the lab. She hadn't entirely thought through what she was going to do. With access to her large Wells' fortune she didn't have to work, but the stability of the job gave her something real to hold on to while so many things were changing in her life.

The soft ring of her text alert sounded in her pocket. She retrieved it quickly, confused that someone was trying to reach her. Turning on the screen, she gently tapped to open the message from a number she didn't recognize. As she opened the image, her entire world stopped. The test tube that had been in her other hand slipped to the ground, shattering, but the sound barely registered. All her brain could process was the image of a weak and pathetic imitation of the only person on earth who really and truly knew her. Paired with the ominous message, it finally hit her that she may have already lost the opportunity to say goodbye. It was too much like losing Christina. It hurt in the same part of her heart and made her fear for her sanity again. She had stayed away from the Warehouse out of fear that something like this might happen, that she would be the cause of it. But it seemed that tragedy wasn't always connected to her hands.

Her body made the decision before her brain had fully processed it. She quickly gathered her things and made her way to her car, not bothering to tell anyone where she was going. She could deal with that later. She stopped by the hotel she was staying at, gathered her things and checked out of her room. She stowed the cases and looked down at her watch. The drive would take 12 hours. It was already almost 9 am. She pulled out and headed west, driving as fast as she dared.


The drive took her only 10 hours, which was far better than she had hoped. She scarcely stopped except for gas and a little food. There was nothing for her in the miles between. With shaking hands, she finally pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. Nervously she got out of her car, smoothing down her wrinkled work clothes. With determination, Helena walked through the doors of the hospital.

After a short elevator ride she exited on the oncology floor. If she'd had any doubt that she was in the right place, the crowd of familiar faces would have cleared it up. She was unobserved at first as all eyes were on Claudia, who was sobbing into Steve's strong arms. Helena missed most of the conversation, but made out the statement between the girls strained breaths.

"She's given up. I don't think she wants to fight any more."

With wild eyes, Helena found Pete. When he spotted her, he smiled knowingly. As though he always knew that she would come. She quickly skirted around the crowd of people, not wanting to intrude nor wanting to be slowed down in her quest. As she neared Myka's partner, he simply said,

"Room 212, you should go now."

She nodded her acceptance, not trusting her voice to remain steady. The corridor to her room seemed impossibly long. Quietly she opened the door to room 212 and peaked her head in. She was relieved to find that it was a private room, though with the Warehouse involved it wasn't overly surprising. On the bed, a huddled form faced the window. She hadn't bothered to even look at who walked through the door.

Helena gaped at the drastic physical change in the woman before her. The slightly open hospital gown revealed more vertebrae and ribs than she should have been able to see. The formerly long beautiful curls had been shorn close to her head and it was clear that the medication was causing it to fall out. She moved quietly closer. As she approached she could make out the sound of near silent sobs shake through the woman. Claudia wasn't wrong it did appear as though Myka had given up. Without preamble, the Brit slid off her work shoes and lowered herself onto the hospital bed. She paused for a moment, waiting to be yelled at. When no such reaction came, she laid down fully pressing her front into the back of the woman she loved. A quiet and raspy version of a familiar voice broke the silence,

"I thought you wouldn't come."

With gentle hands, Helena attempted to soothe the insecurity away.

"I was a dolt. I should have come immediately. And you. What is it that I hear about you giving up?"

"I don't really have much to left to live for and this hurts so badly."

"I think we've already discussed walking away from our truths, haven't we darling?"

The younger woman sighed leaning more fully against the solid body behind her. "Why are you here, Helena? Why now?"

"It seems that I shouldn't walk away from my truth either. As much as I fear what returning to the Warehouse might do to me, to us. The last year has given me the space to learn that you are my truth. And from that I have hidden far too long."

"What about Nate and Adelaide? I thought you'd built a happy little family with them," Myka hadn't even tried to keep the venom out of her voice. She hated to see the woman she loved with another pretending to have a family while she was alone and aching. She tried to be happy for Helena, but the illness stole such positivity.

"Its simply really. A group of people who know me better than anyone, kept reminding me of who I really am. It took tries by you, Pete, Steve and Claudia, but I finally came to my senses and saw what I was doing. It wasn't fair to you and it wasn't fair to Nate. So here I am"

"When are you leaving?"

"Not until you ask me to."

"And if I don't?"

"Then I will spend every moment at your side."

"I'm tired."

"Sleep then. I will be right here when you wake up."

"Promise me."

"Myka Ophelia Bering, I will be right here when you wake up. Now close your eyes."

Accepting the comfort unsure of how long it would continue, the sick woman allowed herself to slip into a sleep more comfortable than she'd experienced in many months.