Lesson 1 In Teaching An Angel How To Date
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Charmed, characters or Castiel from Supernatural as they belong to Aaron Spelling Productions & Eric Kripe but I do own Melissa Hale whose, myself created character.
Authors Note: A different version to the bar scene in Supernatural season 5 episode 3 "God Y'all Hear Me It's Dean Winchester" wherein Piper's future daughter Melissa from my Charmed fanfiction series tries to teach "The Angel Of Thursday" how to date & pick up women which Dean asks her to do after phoning her up earlier on that in turn sorter has the opposite effect to what she planned.
On a particularly cold evening Dean Winchester was speaking to his ex-sister in law Melissa who was standing inside Halliwell Manor lounge replying to what the older hunter had just said.
"Hang on a sec you want, me to take Cass out dating? Why can't you do it instead?"
"Because this's Cass we're talking about Mel." He replied back. "The man's never been out on a date before much less pick up women. Going out with me would be a disaster."
The medium now ginger haired woman' thought about that scenario & laughed silently at it.
"He needs gentle handling in this situation, someone sensitive who can read his emotions & loosen him up a bit." The opposite person stated.
Melissa laughing countered. "Right & because I've had lots of experience with men however bit badly including Sam you think I'm the best candidate to do this? Encase you'd forgotten Dean I'm not empathic anymore alright I can't read Cass's emotions now."
"Yeah but your good at all that stuff without your powers aren't you & reading body language to plus a person he knows well & connects with & not some total stranger."
"& why does Cass need dating tips Dean when he's never done so before?" The 5ft 6 inch woman commented asking.
"Because it's his last night on earth & I don't want him dying a virgin." Her daughter Charlotte's uncle uttered.
Mel's eyes widened in shock not believing what Dean just said. "Oh my god, talk about desensitizing the man Dean."
"Well it's better than him waiting here quietly for Raphael to kill him isn't it? The experienced hunter spouted. "At least that way he won't die without been deflowered."
"Sorry Dean but I can't do it. Mom & dad are out on a date & Aunt Paige's with Agent Brody so I'm on baby-sitting duty looking after Charlotte & my brothers who are all upstairs asleep."
"Can't Victor come on over & keep & an eye them for a bit? I wouldn't ask this if it wasn't a life or death situation but it is mate please I've no-one else who can do it." The latter spoke in an almost pleading way.
The eldest charmed one sank her head down holding her forehead for a minute sighing then raised it up afterwards saying. "Fine alright then I'll take him to P3."
Dean smiled happily on the other end answering. "Thanks Mel I owe you one."
She shook her head countering. "Yeah, yeah whatever just let Cass know what's going on & I'll meet him there in an hour if Grandpa will come here."
"Cheers mate will do thanks." He replied before hanging his cell up subsequently.
Mel pressed the cordless off shaking her head before going upstairs into her bedroom to get ready.
Castiel walked downstairs nervously behind Melissa into the clubroom who muttered cursively about what was happening as music played on in the background.
"I mean it's not as if I wasn't doing something else you know."
"Excuse me?" The angel asked her confused.
Seeing him panicked Mel shook her head & pushed it to back of her mind replying. "Nothing don't, worry. Let's go grab a seat."
"Alright then" Her friend stuttered back.
The witch held out her hand stopping at the bottom placing that on top of Cass's smiling. "Nothing bad will happen mate okay I promise. Come on."
Walking over the 2 of them scoured looking for a seat. "Now first thing when looking for a woman is finding the right table so you can scan the room to find out what you seek."
Coming over to one near the bar they both stop & stand there. "Like this. Good view of the bar just there, & dance floor where you see lots of single women either on their own or with friends."
"Okay." He omitted nodding his head trying to take that in.
Pulling one of the stools out Melissa parked herself down on it which the other did afterwards as she continued remarking "Which's the same way with guys so there'll probably be some of them doing that also."
"I see." Castiel stated nodding again understanding what she meant.
"Good now is there anything in particular you like about women even though you've never really being with them except me, Piper & Paige of course like tall or short women, big or large?, what hair or eye colour do you prefer?, Do you like quiet or outspoken women or someone you can have an intelligential conversation with?"
"I'm not sure really I." Her friend replied not knowing what to say exactly.
"That's alright we'll figure it out some way anyhow." Mel smiled at him warmly which the angel smiled back at her slightly not realising he'd done so.
A barmaid called Susan came by & stopped in front of them prompting. "Hey Mel nice seeing you this evening whose your date?"
The woman looked at Cass before shaking her head at Sue surmising. "Oh no this's my friend Cass we're not dating just out for the evening."
Susan put her hand over her mouth shocked saying. "Oh man I'm so sorry I thought you were seeing as you both looked comfortable with one another."
"That's okay Suzy it's understandable." Mel smiled answering.
The barmaid sighed relieved "Okay great thanks phew. So what can I get you both then?"
"I'll have my usual & he'll have a beer thanks." Melissa responded laughing again giving out their orders.
Susan wrote that down on her notepad then looked up replying. "Alright I'll just go that for you then."
"Thanks Susan." The former P3 employee proclaimed before the latter walked off from them.
Staring at the barmaid attentively Castiel turning round confused questioned Melissa. "Is that woman well?"
"Who Cass?" His mate asked back.
"The barmaid who served us & put her hand on her mouth as if she was goanna be sick."
Mel's eyes widened, in surprise. "Susan? Oh no she was embarrassed mate because she thought we were dating when we're not & felt a bit stupid about it. It's a human trait."
"I see." The trench coat wearing man nodded back understanding her meaning then furthered himself asking. "So how do you go make conversation with women then when you think you've found someone?"
"Easy." The witch replied. "You go up to them & introduce yourself saying "Hello my name's Castiel" & talk a bit about yourself so they get to know you & then they'll say something about themselves so you get to know them to."
"Okay." Cass nodded thinking about that emotively.
"Listen I'll go, do a pretend scenario with a guy at the bar so you can see what I'm doing & take that on board which you can try out on yourself afterwards."
"Alright." He commented as he felt his throat tighten slightly.
Melissa got up & walked over spotting alone brown haired suited man in front of her & went over there conservatively.
"What can I get you? A barman asked her.
"A packet peanuts please" Mel replied delving into her handbag pretending to look for her purse which Castiel looked on watching. "Oh great I've forgot my purse brilliant."
"Hey I can get that for you if you like?" The man next to her asked.
She smiled at the gentlemen pronouncing. "Wow thank you. My head doesn't seem to be screwed on today. You know you're in a rush to get out & grab your keys &."
"You forget your money." He smiled back at her bothering Cass slightly. "I've done that myself before."
"Here you go. That's $1.50 please." The barman says giving a bag of peanuts to Melissa which the gentlemen hands him the money of for that the guy takes from him.
"Cheers for that thanks." Mel answers the man back.
Extending his hand the' tallish person states. "No worries. My name's Philip by the way."
"Melissa. Nice to meet you" The woman announces opposite.
"Are you here by yourself then?"
Mel shakes her head denying. "No I'm with that, gentlemen over there." Whom, she pointed to afterwards.
"Oh." Philip answered little low like.
"He's my friend though not boyfriend. We're not dating." The former half white lighter demised.
"Right" The man perked up replying.
"So you just come from work then?" Mel asked Philip.
"Yes I'm an investment banker at "San Francisco First Nation Bank". Yourself?"
She lied about that slightly revealing. "Changing careers at the' moment so I'm looking just right now."
"Okay." Philip nodded saying.
Mel walked back over to Castiel 5 minutes later & sat down opposite him again. "There you are see I just talked to that guy over there. His name's Philip an investment banker who lives on his own in a flat centre of town. Likes sports, hiking trips & pets which I spoke about my dog Lucky & we generally just conversed with one another for 5 minutes. Oh & he gave me his cell number."
She took that outta her pocket & placed it on the table. "Which he said I can contact him on if we ever wanted to meet."
"Oh right." Castiel replied. "Will you do that then?"
Mel shrugged her shoulders slightly sighing. "I don't know. My track life with men's not been great. 2 failed marriages & whatever relationships I do have don't last long because of evil & putting innocent's first or they can't accept the real me or end up finding that out & I have to erase their memories so they don't tell the authorities about me & I end up being locked for it." "Maybe I'm not meant to love anyone Cass because my destinies to protect the greater good & serve god."
She picked up her glass of vodka on the rocks straight up Susan had brought over whilst she talked to Philip & took a swig of that as Castiel leaned forward & put his hand on top of her's affectionately, understanding how the burden being charmed affected Mel's love life. "I'm sorry you feel that way Melissa. I'm sorry you carry such a great burden on your shoulders." "I wish I could help out so that it never happened to you."
Mel looked down a few seconds at that then straight back up into Cass's face which was mere inches from hers. Stopping the moment before it went any further she smiled back a little replying. "That's sweet Cass thanks. But tonight's about you not me." "So have you seen anyone you like yet?"
"I'm not sure Mel. I wouldn't know what sorter woman to go for." The angel proclaimed a little down heartened by her action a second ago.
"Okay let's see." His friend uttered scouring the room at the available single women there. Coming across a slightly wall flowered looking person wearing glasses over in the other corner of the room nearby the toilets drinking coke Melissa pointed stating. "There she looks alright. Wall flower type looking person who wears glasses, slightly slouched sitting on the stool with her hands in front of her. Nervous doesn't go out a lot or drink alcohol either perfect first time go for you because she's in the same boat as you. I'll just go over there & bring her back here. Be right with you."
Castiel shook his head panicking trying to stop her. "Mel no wait' please."
Talking to the lady over on the other side she & Mel walk over to her & Cass's table making the angel's heart rate rise up a lot.
"Here take this seat." The older woman offered the younger one who sat on it opposite her & Cass.
"Your very kind thank, you." The lady replied back.
"That's okay?"
"Sophie." The other replied.
"Melissa. Nice to, meet you." The witch spoke eyeing up Cass waiting for him to announce himself which he didn't even after Mel nudged him. "This's Cass."
"Oh hello" Sophie said looking at the handsome stranger in front of her who just grabbed his beer & drank half of it before placing it back down on the table surprising the woman greatly.
"My you can certainly handle your drink."
"That's because he's nervous you know." Melissa repeated. "He hasn't had much experience with women."
Sophie laughed slightly uttering. "Nor I with men although I'm trying, to on my therapists advice though." "Is this your first time here?" She asked Cass.
Melissa eyed her friend up again & spoke. "Are you goanna answer her Cass she's talking to you?"
He looked up at the woman answering simply. "No."
"Oh well it is for me. One of co-workers at the library recommended it to me saying it was nice place to come." Sophie knocked back.
"Yeah it is. I used to work here myself & still sing here once a week. My cousin owns the place."
"Ah really" The lady said nodding her head looking at Cass still which Mel perceived as Sophie obviously interested in him. "So what do you professionally Cass?"
The angel of Thursday blurted out without realising his mistake. "I'm an angel of the lord & warrior for god who hasn't been down to earth in 2000 years. At the moment I'm trying to find the archangel who killed me & also find a way to put my older brother Lucifer the one you call the devil back his inside cage before he can bring about the apocalypse."
Sophie's eyes widened at that announcement whilst Mel couldn't believe what Cass did & quickly thought up something to allay the woman's suspicions before the situation got worse.
"Cass you're not at work you know. God the man can't switch himself off from being a stage actor believing his the archangel Michael in his latest play sent down to put Lucifer back inside his cage than just been plain old regular Cass."
Sophie laughed accepting Mel's fake reason which relieved the charmed one greatly.
"No of course I understand about being dedicated to your work."
The trio continued talking for some-time till later on when Mel & Cass talked outside P3 alone whilst walking over to her green jeep liberty car.
"You never tell anyone the whole truth Cass." Melissa replied.
"But that is what my father taught us to do." The angle omitted back.
"Yeah but you can white lie a little which isn't bad especially when concerning your secret which's paramount thing you should always protect which I do around people I don't know so I can protect the innocent still."
"That's something like what Dean said this morning." Cass said.
"Yeah well he's a good judge of character most of the time, except when asking me to teach you how to date, which seriously I'm never doing again by the way that you can relay back to him if you live." The woman countered.
"Of course I will do." He answered her.
"I mean if you can't even deal with a single woman by yourself without screwing it up man then there's no hope for you." She laughed out aloud.
"Are you okay Melissa?" Her friend asked Mel.
Turning round Piper's daughter submitted. "Fine Castiel yes. You been clueless was' the best fun I've had in ages."
The angel smiled back saying. "I'm glad I entertained you my friend."
"Yeah well you actually helped me out about my man trouble a bit & that I should still date people despite what's happened life wise & not worry what might happen before it does so I might give Philip a ring & ask him out sometime. I'll see." Mel ascertained. "I'm sorry Sophie wasn't the person for you mate."
Walking forwards Cass eyed Melissa up stating. "Well I need to keep my head in check concerning the apocalypse & finding god & so can't have my judgement clouded by women even if there were someone out there I actually liked."
Staring right at him she supplied. "Of course' not Cass. I'm sure god's out there somewhere waiting for the right moment & that he still cares about us in the mean-time."
"I hope he does to Melissa." The angel commented leaning forward kissing her affectionately on the right cheek before imparting. "Thank you for trying to help me out this evening."
"You're welcome Cass." His friend responded before he disappeared & her Motorola V8 went off announcing Piper on the other end of the line which Melissa answered as she got into her car.
The End.
