Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Jacob and Bella. I also do not own the song 'It's All Coming Back To Me Now' by Celine Dion who is an absolutely amazing singer.
Author's Note: I love Jacob/Bella. My absolute favorite Twilight pairing. I just wish Bella wouldn't be so stupid at times and in such an Edward induced fog. Not that I have anything against Edward (well, except for a desire to beat him repeatedly with a bat or something hard that wouldn't break on his hard head for being an idiot and leaving her in New Moon and not coming back unlike Jacob, and dazzling her and constantly putting her in danger and for being a controlling over-protective obviously jealous, stalker who watches her sleep...) but Jacob is lovely and he really loves her. Besides, Jacob and Bella had been meant together always. And really, how can you resist a sexy warm werewolf who is far better looking (matter of opinion I suppose but still, how does Edward even hold a candle compared to Jake's awesomeness? Compared to anyone else he is fairly decent but Jake is so far above in my mind that they shouldn't even be on the same scale) than Edward? Edward is always compared to a Greek God for some reason but Jake has the body of a freaking God as well, the largest and strongest werewolf, the alpha (even while pretending to be beta). An avenging warrior God…okay, enough of that. Anyhow, Jake rocks and he and Bella are meant to be together so yeah. Time for the story.
There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed
If I just listened to it
Right outside the window
There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust
And I just knew my eyes were
Drying up forever
It was just the two of them, just Jake and Bells. He smiled at her and she smiled back when all of a sudden he snarled, a deep an angry sound and he glared at her, his eyes angry and hurt. She reached for him but he just turned away and put his back to her, roughly removing her arm when she put it on his shoulder.
"No, don't touch me, never touch me. You are going to be a bloodsucker and go of with the stupid leeches. You are willing to leave me broken and don't care. I can't take it any more, I tried my best and it wasn't enough. I'm not your precious leech so leave me alone in my misery." Bella wanted to cry no, that she wanted him when Edward suddenly appeared and beckoned to her, his beautiful quirked smile aimed at her and she felt herself melting. But no, she had to go to Jacob, he needed her…
"I beg you Bella, don't leave me. I can't survive without you. I love you. I will change you, make you immortal. Just marry me first. Then we could be together forever, just as you always wanted." Edward's voice pleaded, sending thrills down her spine. She could not resist him. She had been supposed to be doing something but she forgot what, not until she was in Edward's arms and she heard the agonizing heartbroken howl of a wolf and she knew. She betrayed him…
Bella woke up, feeling scared. What just happened in that dream? Already she could not remember, the details receding quickly from her mind but a howl still reverberated through her mind. Something about it seemed important but she just couldn't think what it was and she just wished it would stop. In a few minutes, it finally did and she got up and made breakfast, getting ready for the day. Today was the day she and Edward were getting married and she could not wait to be with him, for all eternity quite literally. She did have some doubts, she didn't really want to be a vampire, she only wanted to be immortal so she could be with Edward forever but something seemed off now. She seemed to be getting cold feet. She wondered why that was. Maybe it has to do with a certain wolf-, her mind whispered and she shook her head trying to deny it. No, it had nothing to do with Ja-wince-Jacob. She just was getting the usual fear of commitment issues that occurred right before marriage that affected some people. It most certainly had nothing to do with her missing wolf, no, not at all.
The wedding ceremony was wonderful. Alice certainly outdid herself, as she always did. She lived for this stuff. She did bow to Bella's wishes to make it somewhat restrained but it still was certainly very lavish with musicians and food and dancing. There were a bunch of people there. Charlie, Sue, Billy, Seth, Angela, Renee, Rachel, and about half of forks including Mike, Jessica, Lauren, Eric, Ben, and others. Angela and Rachel were here bridesmaids and it went well. Outside of Seth, none of the Pack had shown up and Emily declined coming (not wanting to be near her) as did Leah who was quite vocal in what she exactly thought of Bella Swan. She wasn't all that surprised by Leah's response (she predicted it coming a mile away but still, it wouldn't hurt to be polite and invite her), but Emily shocked her. She understood that Emily might be upset, being the mother to the Pack and cooking for them and everything, but she didn't know that Emily would take Jacob's disappearance so…personal. Actually, that was the only way she found out about Jake's disappearing act: Seth didn't want to upset her by telling her, Edward didn't feel it necessary to mention it (and she never asked), Charlie was hoping to keep it secret, and Billy was giving the cold shoulder to Bella these days. Leah had assumed Bella already had known (it did explain some remarks that didn't make sense at the time until she knew about Jake) and she kept her distance from the Pack as she knew exactly what kind of welcome she'd be given if she dared show her face to them and worse, what Jacob would have said and done. Knowing Jake, it either ranged from the cold shoulder, to forcibly kissing her, to yelling and anger and insults. It wouldn't have been pretty, which is why she didn't want him invited as she knew he would definitely do something stupid. So however he got an invitation (Seth mumbled something about Edward which she refused to believe), he naturally did something ridiculous.
After the wedding, Billy tried to leave as soon as he could but before he and Seth could reach the car, Bella stopped them a look of concern on her face, like Billy cared how sorry she was. She hurt his son and he wouldn't forget that even if she was the daughter of his best friend and almost his near-daughter. He wanted her to leave them alone and wanted Jacob to come back but neither was going to happen yet.
"Billy? Is it true Jacob has run away?" she asked, her voice trembling. He looked straight at her and said one simple word.
"Yes." Then he had Seth roll him to the car as Bella sobbed, crying over everything she had lost.
She and Edward made love for the first time that night and she was glad as she forgot everything, everything that wasn't Edward and love. But she wondered what it would have been like with a different body with their own inner heat…
Bella was quickly changed and as per course, for three days she rolled and writhed around in agony, crying out, begging for it to stop, for them to kill her, put her out of her misery. Why wasn't she dead yet? The agonizing fires ate through her, setting everything aflame as it slowly reached her heart, far too slowly. Near the end was the worst as she knew it was almost over but it went very, very slowly and this was by far the worst part. Her heart held on, going slower and slower as it was consumed within the venom, becoming stone but it hurt, hurt so bad. Finally, it stopped beating and the fires faded. For a while Bella didn't even know that it was over and she kept expecting the pain to come back. But it didn't and she slowly opened her eyes.
I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made
Jacob kept running, the miles flying behind him. With every mile it seemed that he lost a piece of himself and he felt lighter, more free. It was a relief. Everything was so much simpler now. He didn't have to worry about anything other than what to eat, what to drink, and where to sleep. It was easy and he reveled in the routine. He left the hurt and the pain and the past behind him and he was one with the world. Already his memories were fading, being repressed to the darkness until everything was foggy and indistinct. Soon all he could remember was a brown haired girl that a black haired boy who he knew (in a detached way) was supposed to be him who liked girl. It felt distant and unconnected with wolf Jacob. Wolf Jacob assumed it must not be very important so it went back to the usual routine of running, eating, drinking, and sleeping.
He didn't know when he had reverted back to human form in what felt like centuries. Something had shocked him, shocked him right out of his routine and caused the hurt to come back and the memories and to revert him back to his two legged form. It was a brown haired girl, very beautiful. She had been just walking and Jacob thought he recognized her, the shape of her body, her hair, even her scent was similar but it wasn't her. Angry now that his peace was disturbed, Jacob could not find comfort in the wolf as he could before and he joined the world of humans again, 2 years after he had first run away.
But when you touch me like this
And you hold me like that
I just have to admit
That it's all coming back to me
When I touch you like this
And I hold you like that
It's so hard to believe but
It's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)
There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things I'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than any laws allow
Baby Baby
Bella frowned, feeling Edward's arms around her that night. She loved him but there was just something different now. Something kept tickling at her mind and she found herself resenting him, without even knowing why. She wanted something and she looked for it but she couldn't find it. It was unfortunate that vampires couldn't sleep so she couldn't dream it, but there was just some sense that sensed something wrong with this. After her 1st year of waking up as a vampire, she had adjusted very well, very very well. She surprised everyone when she showed no signs of wanting human blood at all and actually was turned off by it whenever she smelled it. She had dim memories back when she was human of people called Charlie, Renee, and…Jacob. Something about that name set off a feeling inside her but she could never figure out what it was. Nor could she remember who it was or why it was important. All she knew was that it was. And she showed other disturbing trends, she seemed to enjoy warmth, trying to warm herself up as much as possible, even if she never got cold. She wanted the feeling of a blazing inferno gently caressing her and the other Cullens were at first very concerned and set watches to make sure she didn't try to burn herself (which only happened once but she found out that while it was hot, it wasn't the same as the lovely caressing heat as she craved). But irregardless, she enjoyed life as a vampire for the most part and enjoyed Edward. Or at least she had. But something had changed and she didn't like him very much anymore, no matter how much she tried. She wanted something or someone else. Edward seemed able to sense her mood and he seemed to get more distant and very possessive, making her longing for something she couldn't understand worse.
After 4 years, Bella couldn't take it anymore. She loved the Cullens to death, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice, Emmett, Carlisle, Esme, even Edward but something was missing from her life. She felt empty and incomplete and no matter how often she and Edward went at it, the empty feeling wouldn't go away. Something was missing from her and she needed to find it, something of vital importance. So one day she packed up her bags and said farewell to the Cullen family.
"Alice. Jasper. Emmett. Rosalie. Carlisle. Esme. Edward. I love you and appreciate your family's kindness but I can not stay here any longer. I think something is missing and I think I need to find it, before it is too late. I can not let it slip away and I have a feeling that soon if I don't leave now, it will be gone forever. So please, I need to go." The Cullens all looked at her. Rosalie had a sad understanding look on her face, one Bella didn't understand, Emmett looked kicked and upset that his favorite person to play with (even if she wasn't human anymore) was going to be leaving. Alice was devastated and looked like she wanted to burst into tears. Jasper gave a nod and comforted Alice. Esme also looked upset and ready to try to reason with her to stay until Carlisle pulled her away and said something to her in private and when she came back, looked sorrowful but accepting. And Edward looked sad but also a little…relieved. Bella was shocked by that and the simmering resentment that kept boiling up now came roaring back, stronger than ever. It screamed in her mind, thoughts of 'weak, pathetic, leech, masochist, uncaring', and others kept running through her mind. For the first time she found herself almost hating Edward and Jasper looked up at her in surprise, having felt the very unexpected mood swing. She grimaced at him and shook her head. And without another word, Bella turned and walked away, leaving the Cullen family forever.
She traveled, aimlessly, having no idea where she was supposed to be going, just following where her instincts told her too. She crossed wide stretches of land, looking for what she did not know. Eventually she ended up back in Forks Washington, a place that rang a bell in her memory for some reason. This place had been important to her once but she couldn't for the life of her remember why. But the closer she came, the stronger the feeling got. She was on the right track. She could remember some more stuff, the closer she got. Something about motorcycles, and cliff jumping. It was getting clearer but she still didn't know what it was. But it couldn't have been Edward. Edward was very overprotective, he wouldn't allow Bella to do any of that stuff even as a vampire and as pretty much essentially impenetrable as everyone else was. No, this was someone else. Someone kind and warm, someone with heat, someone who was Jacob…she stopped, wondering why she thought that. She couldn't remember this Jacob so why did it feel right to say that? She loved the way the name came rolling off her tongue and easily came through her lips. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. He had such a pretty name, Edward sounded far too formal and stiff for her but Jacob, Jacob was fun. Shaking her head of these thoughts, she pushed forward, following her instincts which have gotten her this far. She didn't remember a Jacob yet but she will, soon.
If I kiss you like this
And if you whisper like that
It was lost long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you want me like this
And if you need me like that
It was dead long ago
But it's all coming back to me
It's so hard to resist
And it's all coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
But it's all coming back
There were those empty threats and hollow lies
And whenever you tried to hurt me
I just hurt you even worse
And so much deeper
She came to a certain point and stopped, her instincts warning her not to move any farther, not if she wanted to remain alive. This line seemed really familiar as well and she could vaguely remember Edward and someone else continually trade her over it. Suddenly she heard a low growling noise and rustling in the bushes and the largest wolf she had ever seen jumped out at her still growling and showing rows of highly polished white teeth, each wicked tooth looking sharp enough to (she instinctively knew it) cut and tear through even her hard skin. There was a resonance in the air and she recognized the wolf for reasons she didn't know. It was the fur color. A beautiful russet red color, a color that she had always liked upon waking up as a vampire. Something about it was important. Something forgotten and necessary to remember. But she couldn't concentrate as she was too busy sniffing its wonderful scent. It smelled familiar, a masculine alpha forest musk that made her twitch in desire. But besides that it was still familiar. Suddenly the wolf stopped growling and just stared at her and its eyes' widened and it trotted away a distance into the forest and Bella was sad as she wanted it to stay. Suddenly a large figure came into view and she saw that it was a massive man wearing little else but a pair of shorts that barely fit and definitely saw better days. He stopped in front of her and crossed his arms in front of his chest, a gesture that sent a jolt of recognition through Bella. She was so close to being able to figure out who he was but she still couldn't think of who it might be. She looked the man over again and she had to admit that she definitely liked what she saw, even with the glare he kept seeming to try to kill her with. He was absolutely massive, larger even than the strong Emmett which she didn't know was even possible, not without whatever it was that made the Hulk (she didn't pay much attention to comic books) so big. He towered over her, a force that exuded from his body, a force of power and confidence and a dark ruthlessness. She swallowed, her mouth gone dry, completely unable to believe it. She, a vampire, was scared stiff by this man. But then, he looked like he could easily crush her between his hands and even with her near impenetrability, she sensed that he could do it, in either human or wolf form, wolf form in particular but still quite capable in human. He growled at her through his teeth and she ignored him (as much as she wanted to run), scanning the rest of him. Especially at his chest and abs which were beyond incredible, no joke. He had some of the most defined abs she had ever seen and she counted at least 8 of them and each one looked sculpted from hard rock (not quite different from what his body had to have felt like, she thought amused). She did like his strong sturdy oak tree legs, that was one of the things that always bugged her, strong people with incredible bodies but weak looking legs compared to the rest of them which raised questions of support and how they managed to stand and everything. But he had all the right proportions and was solid all over. To be blunt, he was a mountain, a mountain of muscle. A very sexy mountain and Bella found herself once again wanting to touch him. Then the man spat just one word.
"Leech." The angry bitter tone struck a chord and everything fell into place, everything. Russet fur, wolf, muscle, angry, bitter, beautiful, Jacob. The guy in her memories became clear and she remembered everything with Jacob: the cliff diving, the motorcycles, the newborns, Victoria, Jacob pleading, Jacob begging, Volturi, Jacob kissing her, her kissing him, everything. She gasped and sobbed, tears that had been locked for a long, long time finally pouring out and Jacob was stunned into silence. He watched the leech uncertain, he didn't know leeches could cry, it was impossible, it had to be a trick. He started growling again and then the leech raised its head and Jacob recognized it at last, the expression gave it away. Bella. He find himself breaking down, something he hadn't done for years, not since he came back on his journey as a wolf after her wedding. His massive strength failed him and he fell, the betrayal and agony washing over him again. It felt as if it happened yesterday and he growled and thrashed. How dare she hurt him! Again and again! Never leaves him alone! She sighed and laid a hand on him and something happened. It felt as if there was an electrical fire between them besides the obvious heat. She seemed to sigh and she fell along the ground with him, still holding onto him, absorbing his heat, the heat she had been looking for since she was turned. While Jacob shivered, feeling the coldness spread over him but it wasn't as bad as he thought it would have been. It relieved him of the excess heat and the anger and what not. Plus there was the other heat fire between them, one that had nothing to do with physical temperature. Suddenly, almost without will, he leaned over her and kissed her and she moaned so freaking seductively. The moan awoke things within that he thought that he didn't have any more: interest, passion, love, strong desire, lust. Bella always had been the only one to drive him insane in ecstasy so he wasn't at all surprised, he had tried very hard with others as well but they weren't satisfying at all, he had longed for Bella. The best he could muster was a physical hunger, a carnal need but was never satisfied by anyone. But now with Bella…he groaned and pressed his lips down harder on her cold leech lips. He wanted her, needed her, had to have her!
She pulled away with the greatest reluctance and he panted harshly, his eyes clouded over, and waited for him to return to his senses. It was very difficult to resist, everything inside her was screaming at him to touch him, feel him, love him. The empty feeling had partially receded and now came back. But she couldn't do it, not yet. He made a frustrated snuffling sound as he sat up and tried to hide the rather obvious reaction she had brought up in him. He looked at her and she smiled weakly at him.
"What?" he asked breathing hard, missing the feel of her.
"I hurt you," she said and the fire in him was abruptly doused. Suddenly he realized who he was talking to again and what she had done to him. He winced, clutching his arms around him, a gesture very similar to something he had seen Bella do after the leech left her. He had wondered what had been up with that but ever since Bella had left him, he understood exactly what it was. The crushing atmosphere, the feelings of claustrophobia and being alone, crushing down on you. It gave the illusion of being unable to breathe even when you could normally breathe fine. And the feeling of something ripped out of him leaving him empty, his heart. He oftentimes wondered if he still had a heart. It still beat but it seemed mechanical, he had the organ but the spirit was gone. He whined staring at Bella. Why? Why did she have to bring it up again? Why did she have to hurt him?
There were hours that just went on for days
When alone at last we'd count up all the chances
That were lost to us forever
But you were history with the slamming of the door
And I made myself so strong again somehow
And I never wasted any of my time on you since then
After he came back from his journey of being wolf, he threw himself into the job. He could no longer enjoy just being wolf any longer, the pain beat down on him now and wouldn't go away. He decided that he'd utilize his dual nature to the farthest. He hunted, chased, threatened, and killed vampires, all who came near their land. He acted recklessly but he wasn't impulsive and he could sense a trap. He developed almost a 6th sense about vampires, which ones to avoid and which ones he could take on his own, after much experience and trial. No one knew why all of a sudden Forks and the sudden area suddenly seemed to turn into some sudden vampire magnet but there were a surprising amount of nomadic vampires that came wandering through. Although apparently some were mad about their mates being killed and wanting revenge or wanting to die and join them. Those were easy to get rid of. His pack brothers had been concerned as had been Sam and he had been reluctant to hand over the position of Alpha but Jacob had reminded him that it was his right and that Sam was just a placeholder, so with the greatest consternation, handed it over. Jacob was effective at it but a very demanding alpha. If they thought Sam had been pushy, Jacob was far worse. He always seemed paranoid of vampires and constantly had them running patrols but he was always out there running constantly.
When he spent his rare time in human form he mostly ate and slept, locking himself in his room and training. At this time, Bella constantly returned to his thoughts and he howled in sorrow, almost in a ritualistic manner at almost exact intervals that the Pack had the schedule all planned out quickly. 1. Insane patrols for all but with Jacob throwing himself the hardest. 2. Come home. 3. Eat. Jake goes off by himself. 4. Does whatever he does in there but almost every hour at least once there will be a howl. Sometimes two. Depends on the day. They worried about him but they quickly learned not to say anything about it to him as then there would definitely be some yelling and breaking of stuff and someone being punished and armed with the Alpha command, Jake had a very interesting choice in punishments. So, they put up with the tempest that was Jake although at the same time, he became scarily predictable but at the same time harder to expect what he would do, a very interesting paradoxical scenario but very worrying for the others.
Jacob looked at Bella, feeling the anger and hate and loathing boil through again. She was a leech, a blood-sucking leech, and more than just because it was necessary for her to drink blood as nourishment. He supposed that she had always been a monster. Always toying with him, playing with his emotions, he hadn't been free from the moment he laid eyes on her. Even when she wasn't there, she affected him. She could have been with him. But she always chose the leech. Always. No matter what he had done, she left him, broke him, and drained him. He managed to pull himself up over the years and hardened himself into an unyielding steel. Nothing could hurt him. Nothing that is, but her apparently. He felt himself instinctively crouch, getting ready to jump on her. She stared at him sorrowfully and he lost it. Jumping over the respective side of the line, he easily forced her to the ground and he was on top of her, his large body almost comically covering hers and all you could see was her head. He growled, a spittle of drool running down her face. Jacob had acquired more animalistic and wolf-like qualities, even in human form. He reached down his arms and easily wrapped them around her neck, choking her, had she needed to breathe. He almost snapped her neck when he looked at her eyes again, and found he just COULD NOT DO IT. With a howl of agony, he released her and sobbed, still on top of her.
But if I touch you like this
And if you kiss me like that
It was so long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you touch me like this
And if I kiss you like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)
There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things we'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than all your laws allow
Baby, Baby, Baby
When you touch me like this
And when you hold me like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
Then we see what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
If you forgive me all this
If I forgive you all that
We forgive and forget
And it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
We see just what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall but it's all coming back to me now
He was shocked when he felt a cool delicate arm wipe away the tears that still remained, after he had almost completely gone through his sobbing fit. He looked down at her and saw Bella and something strange happened. The world seemed to shift and fade away and there was only them. He had finally imprinted and it was on Bella. Not so much of a surprise seeing as he always knew she had been the one for him but the fact that it finally happened confused him. She seemed to be looking at him in the same way, with eyes of wonderment.
"What? What just happened?" she asked, sounding confused and he let out a low laugh and the comment. Silly Bella.
"I imprinted on you at last after all this time." He said, staring down with a neutral expression on his face at her. He seemed to be looking for something in her expression and he must have found it cause he relaxed and the bitter frown disappeared into an awkward looking smile, being as he hadn't smiled in so long that he had apparently forgot how to. Bella felt it, they seemed to be connected on a deeper emotional level than they had before, a state that was at times almost reached but with her choice to Edward sealed it off. But there had been times when she thought she could sense Jacob's moods and feelings, his pain and anger, his love. But it disappeared whenever she had been around Edward as did any thought at all actually. Edward had been so mysterious and alluring, captivating her with his presence and beautiful smile. A vampire, immortal being. She wanted to be with him once. But it turned out to all be an illusion. Edward wasn't nearly as exciting as it seemed, without the mysterious alluring persona and vampiric beauty, without the thought of being unobtainable, he was rather a shabby and dull person. He talked pretty but like the rest of him, it was all just a lie. He was over-protective, controlling, too polite and always doing things to show how much he loved her. It was flattering at first but after awhile it just got old and she wanted them to argue, to fight. She wanted him to refuse her and get mad at her. She deserved it. She didn't like him anymore after all. But no matter what she did, he always forgave her and she hated it. Rationally she knew this made no sense at all, she had the perfect life and the perfect husband with the perfect family. Why didn't she enjoy it? What could she possibly be missing? The things he bought her seemed to lack any meaning or value and she resented the rich opulent life-style of the Cullens. It all meant nothing, just as empty and soulless as she felt now after the Edward glow wore off. She still loved the rest of them, she did, but it all felt wrong to her. She didn't feel like she belonged with them, even now as a vampire. They were just too different from her and that scared her. Why could they be happy together and not her? She loved them yet she hated them for it, unable to feel a part of them. Maybe it was because she had never belonged there, she thought, looking up at a pensive and thoughtful Jacob who sat their, his eyes trained directly on her, never looking away, soaking up every moment she was their and memorizing it. Maybe she never did belong to them.
He felt complete and whole, something he hadn't felt in what felt like forever, maybe he never had been. She was his other part, the missing piece of his soul and without her everything had been pointless and a struggle but now, it meant everything. He supposed it was a view of perspective that being in the presence of his soulmate could afford him as without her it had been impossible previously. He felt the heavy thing in his chest shrivel up and blow away and he felt his heart settle back into place. The emptiness receded and he saw a endless world of possibilities involving him and Bella as it had always meant to have been.
"I love you," he whispered and he felt Bella lean into him.
"I know," she whispered back and wrapped her arms around him and they watched in surprise as they saw the very rare appearance of the sun rise and sends its light into Washington. It was a sign, they thought, snuggling together, her small 5'4 body easily disappearing into his incredible 7'2 (she asked later as he had obviously grown since the Jake in her human memory) mammoth body. Their hearts and souls were one and the world smiled down at them, glad at last that these two immortal lovers had at last found each other. And speaking of immortal neither of them had to die, she unable to age and his werewolf nature halted aging. Not that he had ever planned on dying of old age, a death far too slow, but still. He had no intentions of dying at all now. He couldn't leave Bella and she would follow shortly after if he did and he her if by somehow she did die (not likely). They were together and he certainly didn't plan on leaving her anytime soon and he knew that she wasn't either, through the emotional connection that had formed between them, something that he had and then had lost when Bella started being swayed by Edward. Squeezing his arms around her (careful not to hurt her, being incredibly strong), he laid kisses down her neck and collar bone. She turned around and smiled at him, the fire igniting in his heart and he kissed her hard and passionately, her arms trying to find purchase trying to wrap around his body.
'This is what I had been missing,' she thought dreamily as Jacob laid kisses up and down her. She reveled in the warmth of his body and the way it lingered on even after he moved. Edward could never do that. His body had always been the same temperature as hers and he could never set her aflame as Jacob seemed to be doing. She saw the love in his brown dark eyes and while they seemed hard and angry, at her they softened and expressed the desire within him. He squeezed slightly harder and the breath left her in a good way. She could feel the strength yet gentleness and care he showed her and she wondered why in the world she had ever thought she loved Edward. It seemed like such a ridiculous laugh now, like it happened to someone else and not her. But she knew it didn't. She had been stupid and left what was good for her, all because she thought he loved her and she him. She realized that they didn't, she didn't really love him that way and he didn't love her. It was more of a possessive act, even if he didn't realize it. He thought he had loved her and maybe he had, once. But soon after the change, it had died with the illusions and she felt bored of him, something she could never feel with Jacob. Maybe because it was Jacob. Nothing was ever boring with him. She had felt something missing even then, before she remembered it and found it. But now that she found it, everything made sense to her. Maybe it had been her destiny to become a vampire, so she could be with Jake forever. She supposed it possible. She left him and then she managed to make her way back to him and now that she had, she was never planning to leave his arms ever again. She felt his lips touch hers again and everything around faded but him and only him. Thought disappeared and she dove into it, into the love and the passion and the forgiveness. Their souls became free and they were one and complete, souls that had tried for so long to avoid each other and avoid destiny and fate for various reasons but now accepted and joined together as had been meant from the very beginning. As soon as one kiss stopped, they took a breath and went right back into it pouring forth all their love and pain and emotion, how much they needed and missed each other. After what felt like forever, they laid together straddling the borderline that no longer existed for Bella as there was only one side and that was wherever Jacob was. Jacob was her heart, soul, and life and she was those for him and they were together in every sense of the word now, forever and ever, literally now for as long as they lived. She let out a blissful sigh and he smiled at her.
"I love you," he said happily, looking at her and she raised her eyes at him in a 'duh' statement. He smirked at her and she laughed.
"I know. I love you too." She whispered quietly and he once again felt the elation, something he never tired of. Wrapping his arm around her, he hugged her and then snuggled her against him and they laid there on the ground together and Jacob slept in peace with Bella watching him, swearing again that things were going to be different and that she would never leave him and to love him always. Not that she needed to for she couldn't anymore but more of a reassurance for herself. She smiled at him sleeping soundly, stroking his hair. Her beloved wolf. Her Jacob. She closed her eyes, pretending to sleep, just listening to him breathe, just knowing that he was close to her and that she never had to fear again.
(It's all coming back to me now)
And when you kiss me like this
(It's all coming back to me now)
And when I touch you like that
(It's all coming back to me now)
If you do it like this
(It's all coming back to me now)
And if we, , ,
