Chapter 1

Lily stared as the veil flashed silver a moment, before a thick stack of papers came through from the other side. Lily stared at the papers in astonishment, not certain what they were or what they might mean. She took a step forward then another one, before removing her crook, in order to get the papers out from the mouth of the veil. She had no desire to step forward into something that might kill her, she had been warned of the danger of the veil on the first day. Most believed it to be connecting the living to the dead, but Lily wasn't so certain of that. She held a stack of what appeared to be five letters, all addressed to her, though it seemed like someone had cried on them, Lily touched one and found it to still be wet with what could only be tears. There were other splotches that were older by far, Lily set them on the table and started to read.

My dearest Lily,

if only you knew how much I loved you. How my heart will ever be only yours. We graduated Hogwarts together today, you were the most beautiful of those in our year. I watched as you hugged Him tightly to you before going up onto the stage. It seems that I am cursed to forever watch you at a distance, never touching, never being touched. I suppose that it is my own fault and sometimes I wonder at what could have been, if I had not tried to ensure that the old ways would continue. If I had not tried to make friends other then you, would you still have left me for calling you that name? Perhaps it does not matter after all, you are beyond such things. I am now an Unspeakable, they recruited me just out of school, I am also a death eater, but you must have presumed that already. I do not know how the Dark Lord will accomplish what he means to, as there seems to be very little planning involved in the attacks. I suppose that I must have faith that he knows best.

Lily stared at the letter and frowned, that sounded like Severus but Severus was dead, he had died in ensuring that the He Who Must Not Be Named would be defeated, he had been the one to kill Voldemort and now he was a hero, a dead hero but a hero none the less. Lily didn't like the awe people used when talking of Snape, he was her childhood confidant, the man that Lily had once had a crush on, before he changed into something so different from the boy she remembered that she didn't recognize him at all. She hesitated a moment before opening another letter, there were five left in the stack.

Lily today I heard a prophecy, you might be overjoyed at the thought of the dark lords defeat but I am not. Still the thought of taking this to him, of allowing him to harm an infant sends shudders down my spine. I need his influence, his power, his strength and I need the respect of others. I know what you would do if you were in my place, but we have always been two different people despite our similarities. You would never harm an innocent child, even if it meant the difference between life and death, I on the other hand will do just about anything in order to survive. I suppose that means that I will do what I must.

Lily stared at the letter, she wished she could tell him not to do so, but the prophecy was different then it was in her world. There had been nothing about a baby, but it had rather pointed to Severus in a rather glaring way, to the point in which he had the choice in either dying at the hands of the death eaters, or attempting to take Voldemort out with him. Severus had lost all enchantment with the Dark Lord at that point and took him down in a blaze of glory and fiendfire. Lily had wondered if it would have somehow been possible for him to live.

Its you Lily, the prophecy could be about you! I have killed you and Potter, though Potter can rot in hell. I have doomed you and your baby to die at the hands of the Dark Lord. I have no choice but to switch loyalties in the hope that I might save you. That somehow the Dark Lord or working for the Order will spare your life . I had never intended to put you in any danger, to harm you in any way. I suppose that Fate has yet again decided to play a cruel trick on me, the fates never liked me after all. I can't escape the thought that I have killed you and your little boy. I know that you will never forgive me and I will never forgive myself.

Lily stared at the letter, as it grew blurry and her eyes filled with tears. Of course Severus would blame himself, even though it wasn't his fault at all. She looked at the veil with new eyes, perhaps it wasn't a gateway to death as everyone thought, but rather other realms. Lily had never had children, had never even slept with a man, she was too busy with her studies for that. In any event the only men that had ever truly shown a interest in her had seemed totally unsuitable to her. She wondered if the portal was just between two worlds or more then two and hesitated a moment, before she finished the other two letters and stared at them as she read, what they contained was absolutely devastating and she could feel his pain.

Today I was able to hold you him my arms, to kiss your still warm skin. To feel the life leave your body, when you were alive you were more alive then anyone that I had ever met. I knew the instant I went into the nursery that you were no longer on this plane, that you had gone on beyond it. Still I could not stop myself from holding you one last time, my beautiful flower. I held you as your son screamed in his cradle, held a dead woman, instead of taking care of a small boy that still lived. Sirius came to the nursery and stared at me, before taking Harry away with him. All I could do was focus on your warmth, to feel it slowly ebb away, to hold you to me as you turned cold. In the end, it was Dumbledore who had to pull you from my arms, to hold me in his as I cried as I hadn't cried since I was a child of six. You were my everything and now you are gone.

Lily stared at the letter, there had been nothing left of Severus nothing for her to hold onto, nothing for her to bury. Instead she had witnessed his death, had nightly nightmares of him being engulfed in that fire. Had watched as his screams and the Dark Lords rose up and faded to nothing a moment later. She had known that he was dead and nothing would ever bring him back then. She had helped others to control the fire, Severus with his flare for the dramatic had to put the flames in the middle of Diagon Ally. She laughed at the thought, though it turned to a sob. It was ironic that it wasn't until it was too late for her and him, that she truly realized what she had in her heart was more than a school girl crush.

Today I was cleared of all charges, Dumbledore ensured that I escaped being sent to Azkaban. He said that it was only fair considering what I had done to try to save the Potters. What I had done was nowhere near enough, I should have saved you and James. I should have saved Harry from growing up without parents, but I didn't I couldn't. I hope these letters reach you, beyond the veil, that perhaps you could forgive me in death when you couldn't in life. I knew you hated me, but you could not loathe me more than I loath myself. I couldn't stand to look at these letters anymore regardless, I couldn't stand to be reminded of the pain of them anymore, of how I loved you and how you were stolen from me. I shall remain ever yours, Severus Snape

Lily stared at the letter for a moment, pausing before deciding on a course of action. She walked up to the veil and stepped through it. A wind howled and voices surrounded her at all sides, she felt pulled in a thousand different directions but it would be worth it to see Severus again. It felt like forever before she stepped out through the other side and stared at Severus who's eyes were wide with shock, before they rolled up to the back of his head and he fainted. Lily was only able to stop his head cracking on the ground with a quick spell from her wand. She then ran to him, clutching him to her and never wishing to let go. It had worked, somehow the veil had transported her to another reality.