I was a Jedi. And a Jedi does what is right. I did what I believed was right and I was cast out…forgotten…exiled. That word echoed in my mind, constantly, just as the pain echoed in my soul.

I went to war with Revan. We stopped the peril that threatened to crush the Republic. We didn't sit by and watch as worlds fell and countless innocents were killed. We fought back; I fought back.

And then, there was Malachor. I lost everything there. Not that I had much now that I think back. But, everything I was, everything I believed in, was lost to me. I wasn't the only one who lost something at Malachor, I don't pretend to be, but no one else lost what I did…

I lost myself there, I would have preferred death. My body survived the battle, but my spirit didn't. My bodily wounds healed, and I forgot them. But I feel the wounds in my spirit continue bleeding, still, after all this time. All the pain and suffering felt that day got wrapped up inside of me, filling every fiber of my being and becoming part of who I am. I didn't understand it then, I didn't try to; I do now. All I knew then was whatever happened there changed me, broke me. And so I ran, frantically trying to forget.

I wanted to forget…everything; everything that had happened, everything I had done, everything that I was. I didn't want to think about what I had chosen

But, really, it wasn't even that I didn't want to think about it. It was the agonizing fact that no matter how badly I wanted to go back to who I was before the war, before Malachor, I couldn't. That was why I ran. I thought that, maybe, if I ran far enough it wouldn't matter anymore. After a while, it was simply gone, just a painful memory. I wanted it to stay that way, just "another dirty little Jedi secret," as Atton put it. I tried to keep it that way, and for a while, it worked. I was simply an exile, wandering aimlessly around the galaxy, no home, no family, no past

But the past hates to be forgotten, mine was no exception. And not even the pain I endured, nor how far I ran could change that for me. It caught up with me, and I had no choice but to face it.