A/N: HEY HOWDY HEY! I'm giving you this instead of 1YW today, I have some important issues to attend, like replacing my lost/stolen memorystick. I feel bad writing this and saving it on my laptop as it is. I NEED A MEMORY STICK! XD LOL

I'll upload my new chap of 1YW tomorrow :) P'o'mise!

Also, before some of you flame this and tell me that Gibbs would never do anything like this, I think you should know that this one shot is extremely close to my heart. Unfortunately for Gibbs and Ziva, they are the closest people to the situation.

Look out for my 1YW update tomorrow :)

Thanks for reading and enjoy. Mistakes are mine.

Ever Wanted Something You Couldn't Have?

Have you ever wanted something you couldn't have? Ziva did, well, more accurately someone, rather than something.

It all started when she arrived at NCIS as a liason officer, she had waited for the MCRT, minus Kate to arrive so she could start her day. While she waited for them, she mentally went through the profiles she drew up of each team member. One profile caught her interest.

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

She had laid her life, and her brother's, on the line for a man she barely knew, yet, she knew she could trust him. A certainty that didn't waver even though she received colder than icy treatment from the Team and their Forensic.

She didn't know what fascinated her about him. The way he walked, talked, smirked when he knew he was right? No, Ziva didn't know, but she did know that she was enticed by the man. It took her a few weeks to realise that she had a crush on said Special Agent.

Ziva scolded herself, a highly trained Mossad assassin and spy like herself, with a crush? Pfft, she'd killed for less, but the more she thought about it, the more she realised that she did have a crush. But it was exciting; it was like a forbidden desire.

Soon, that crush grew and she found herself longing for his touch, his praise. She was even doing things wrong on purpose just to get a slap on the back of the head, anything to spark a reaction from the Team Leader. But the more she saw Jenny hovering around Gibbs and their banter, Ziva felt sad. It was clear that Gibbs' feelings were for Jenny and hers for him, too.

As the two seemed to get involved, a fact egged on by Tony and his nosyness, Ziva found herself trying her hardest to stop herself from thinking about her Boss in a way that would make her toes curl. After all, Jenny seemed to be the better match for Gibbs and Gibbs didn't seem to have a problem with the attention from the redhead. But as much as Ziva tried to give her feelings for Gibbs up, she knew that Jenny wasn't right for him, Gibbs' profile had showed her that much, but still, having a crush on your Boss wasn't exactly clever, was it? Especially considering said Boss had his own set of personal rules about such things.

Ziva stayed away from him, opting to travel with McGee or even Tony to take her mind off of her more-than-crush. It was clear that while he had Jenny and his rules, he'd never feel the same way and it was pointless for her to even try, let alone think about what their coming together would be like. So Ziva left it at that.

And then she was framed.

The first person she thought of? Yup, Gibbs. She'd asked for help and she was blown away by Gibbs arriving to give her a hand. She knew he looked out for his own, but something about this was different. The way he stood near her, the way she'd catch him looking at her. She felt confused, but happy at the same time.

Soon, her name was cleared and Gibbs eventually came back to work. She found herself being partnered with Gibbs a lot more, too. She first guessed that maybe he was doing it to keep an eye on her, something she didn't mind, it was nice to be looked out for. But after trips to witnesses, potential suspects and crime scenes, she began to have doubts.

He'd comment on what she was wearing, tell her she looked beautiful with her hair tied back, and even more so when it was down. Their conversations would take a turn at the most innocent of statements, leaving Ziva with a light blush on her cheeks as Gibbs gave a deep throated chuckle.

She wasn't going to lie. She enjoyed it, and as she did, she found that her feelings grew for him. Not that they ever stopped growing, they were stunted, but they never stopped.

Eventually working at NCIS became a pleasant thing to do, Abby seemed much more friendly, though the two still had their moments, even Tony seemed to get less annoying, but maybe that was because he was hardly there. Her eyes would light up every time Gibbs called her name as he strode past her desk, a short drive with plenty of banter, be it sexual or otherwise, promised.

And then it happened. Ziva felt the atmosphere in the car shift ever so slightly as she got in, ready for Gibbs to drive them to the newest crime scene.

'' Ready for work?'' asked Ziva, cheerily.

'' That depends, are you part of it?''

'' Well, of course, Gibbs.''

'' Well, then,'' Gibbs looked at her and winked, '' I'm ready.''

Ziva turned to look away and she giggled like a schoolgirl, something that was becoming a very common phenomenon.

They rode quickly, exchanging over suggestive, flirty jibes that made both of them grin. Until they came to stop at a red light.

'' I would, you know.'' murmured Gibbs, quietly.

Ziva grinned and looked at him. '' Uh huh.''

He turned to look at her. '' I'm being serious. I genuinely would, Ziver.''

Ziva felt her heart stop momentarily before it picked up again, beating wildly in her chest. She swallowed. '' You are being serious?'' she asked, not quite sure she could believe what she was hearing.

'' Yeah, I shouldn't, and it's wrong. I mean, I'm a lot older than you and considering where we are and what we do.''

Ziva felt her throat dry up. Was she dreaming? '' Well, do you think I care about that?''

Gibbs sighed tiredly and he drove on. '' We should, I'm your Boss, not to mention, old enough to be your father. I feel like I would be taking advantage-''

'' I'm not a child, Gibbs, I can think and act for myself. You wouldn't be taking advantage.''

'' All the same, Ziver.'' Gibbs went silent until they began to drive up the dirt road that would lead them to the farm where their marine was found. They could see the large NCIS truck in the distance. '' I shouldn't have said anything. Are you okay?''

'' Yeah,'' Ziva looked at him, smiled and nodded. '' I mean, I've liked you for a while and it's good to know... you feel the same.''

Gibbs nodded and they came to a stop, Tony jumping as he saw Gibbs.

The two unclipped their seatbelts and Ziva rest her hand on the door. '' But for the record,'' she waited until Gibbs looked at her before continuing. '' I would, too. And I wish your stupid rules weren't in the way.''

Ziva smiled again, before getting out of the car. Oh yes, she knew what it was like to want something you couldn't have, and she hated it.