Hanging By A Moment
A/N I'm full of one-shot spurts of inspiration, it seems. This is a deeply unoriginal one but I suppose no Fiyeraba shipper can escape the need to write an ALAYM fic. Here is mine then, for you to judge. Beware; I have changed the setting because I didn't feel I had anything to add to the forest-setting of the musical. It has been done too many times and too well for me to even attempt it.
Disclaimer: Still not mine. But I thank Maguire, Schwartz and Holzman for creating something that brightened many a day :)
What was she supposed to do with this?
She'd gone into the Wizard's throne room, into the Emerald City even, under the pretence of wanting to free those monkeys. And she had wanted to free them. She really had. But what she had wanted more, what had really driven her there, was not a monkey of any kind. It was a man.
This man.
This man currently holding her hand as he led her through dark streets and shady alleys.
This man that had, until half an hour ago, belonged to her best friend. She still wasn't completely sure how it had happened, but she knew beyond a shadow of a simmering doubt what had happened; He wasn't Glinda's anymore.
He was supposed to be, he should be, but he wasn't. He'd made that choice, for whatever reason. He'd left her.
Fiyero Tiggular, Prince of the Vinkus, Heir to the throne, Captain of the Gale Force, fiancé of Glinda the Good, had chosen her.
Her.
Elphaba Thropp.
Wicked Witch of the West.
He'd left his engagement party and his bride-to-be behind, grabbed her hand and pulled her after him. Through the doors of the throne room, the hallways of the palace and out the doors. How no one had stopped them she'd never know.
And now...now they were racing through sparsely lit streets, heading for a destination unknown to her and she couldn't bring herself to stop. To come to a halt and face him and have him tell her what the hell he'd done, why he'd done it and what they were going to do now. She knew exactly what had happened, because she'd been right there. She was right here, being dragged along behind him, her hand firmly clasped in his.
But what she didn't know was why she was here. Why he was. Why they were together now.
Why?
She wanted to ask him but she couldn't get a single syllable past her lips. Not in the last place because she was too busy panting.
She stumbled and was forced to stop running, her hand slipping out of his grasp.
"Fiyero."
She bent over to catch her sorely missed breath.
"Hold on."
He came to a stumbling halt himself and turned back to look at her.
"Elphaba?"
She straightened as his face came into view, anxious worry etching his features.
"Are you alright?"
She nodded and stood up. Her heartbeat was still wildly out of control but she suspected that had little to do with the effort of running. Running she was used to.
She tried to clear her head of unwanted thoughts and focused on the practical things first.
"Where are we going?"
He grimaced and rubbed his neck.
"I'm not sure."
Her eyebrows shot up.
"You're not sure? I thought you had some sort of plan."
"Not really. I just knew we had to get as far away as possible, as fast as we could."
She nodded.
"Yes, well. Now what?"
"Well...we need to find some place to hide. To lay low for a few hours."
They did need that. And soon. But it wasn't as if she had many such places to her disposal.
"The forest?"
His face was doubtful.
"That's where they expect you to go. They've sent men there, for sure."
They always did. That didn't mean it had ever done them any good.
"I know the woods better than you do. Than they do."
He grimaced at the slip-up but didn't comment on it.
"Yes, but to get there we'd need to use your broom and they'll be looking for that."
"So what do you suggest then?"
"Hide in plain sight. We just need to get into a building here. An apartment building or something. An empty flat."
It sounded as if he'd thought about it. It didn't seem so crazy...only...she felt better in the woods. Safer. She'd never have thought to hide among people. She'd never have taken that risk. Well-populated areas she stayed far away from, usually.
"Right. And we'll know they're empty how?"
"I know a few that are."
She raised an eyebrow in question.
"Let's just say I've done my homework for once."
She fought a smile.
"For once."
He didn't bother to fight his smile. It lit up his eyes and it took her breath away. She sighed.
"Fiyero."
He didn't bother to hide from her either. He looked straight into her eyes.
"Later."
She sighed and tried again. She wanted to know if he knew what he was doing. She needed to know if he was aware of the consequences. She needed to know that he was.
"Fiyero."
He shook his head.
"Elphaba, this is not the time nor the place for that conversation. I owe you answers and I will do my best to give them but we need to get to safety first."
She nodded in compliance. He was right of course and the instinct to survive trampled everything else, as it always did.
"Okay. Lead the way."
He grabbed her hand and started running.
It didn't take them long to get to the building Fiyero had had in mind. The better part of town, the part she never entered, was quiet, undisturbed. The apartment itself big, luxurious and, best of all, empty.
"You did do your homework."
She could admit she was impressed.
"How did you even find this place?"
The room they were in was beautiful. And empty but not of furniture, which was plentiful and expensive looking.
"It doesn't look very abandoned."
Fiyero had taken his jacket off and took her cloak. He moved to take her broom but she held it back. She had come with him, had trusted him to get her to safety, but she wasn't willing to let go of her own safety net yet. He seemed to understand though because a corner of his mouth pulled and he nodded.
"It's not. It belongs to people who are rarely here. Some high placed family members of Avaric. You remember him, I'm sure."
She pulled a face at the mention of the boy who had made her college time, brief as it had been, harder for the sake of entertainment.
"Well, I have to say that makes the guilt ease."
Fiyero chuckled as he checked all the curtains were closed.
"We can't open any curtains or use the heating though. Don't want to alert anyone to our presence."
She nodded. She felt all she'd done tonight was nod and run in compliance to his plans.
"Won't he know you'd use this?"
"How would he? We're barely in touch. But I know his parents from social functions and I know everything about everyone through..."
His voice trailed off but it was too late. The word they'd had to say sooner or later breaking into their strange illusion and bringing reality with it. Knowing they couldn't undo it, she broke the silence.
"Glinda."
"Yeah."
She sighed and straightened her shoulders in an attempt to gear up for what would come next.
"Fiyero."
He sighed and looked up at her.
"I don't suppose you'd be willing to reschedule this particular conversation?"
She gave him a look that he knew all too well.
He nodded and took a deep breath.
"Alright."
She didn't waste time beating around the bush.
"Why?"
He contemplated many answers but in the end settled for the simplest truth.
"Because I had to. Because I couldn't not go with you."
She wished it could be enough but it wasn't.
"Why?"
"Oh, Elphaba. Surely you know that."
She hoped she did. She hated herself for hoping she did.
"I need you to tell me, Fiyero. And be honest."
He nodded but didn't say anything. His feet found a pacing pattern and his hand was moving through his hair so viciously he was sure it was standing in all directions. He dropped his hand and came to a halt. If he was going to do this, he was going to do it properly; By looking her in the eye and telling her the truth. His truth, anyway.
"I should have left years ago. Before all this started. Before you even left for the Emerald City, I should have left Glinda and told you the truth."
"The truth?"
"That I loved you. That I was in love you."
She shook her head and stepped away from him but he moved with her and pulled her back.
"Head over heels in love with you."
"No, Fiyero."
She'd stopped moving backwards but she was still shaking her head and he put a hand on the side of her head to get her to look at him.
"Elphaba. I was. I didn't really understand it then. I didn't understand how I could have a beautiful, wonderful, perfect girlfriend and yet not feel for her even a smidgen of what I felt for you."
She shook her head harder, strands of her hair coming undone. She couldn't hear this. She didn't want to hear this. She couldn't bear it. But he was talking and the words washed over her like balm. Like balm and like acid because he wasn't supposed to tell her any of this and she definitely wasn't supposed to be happy to hear it.
"Fiyero..."
She couldn't make it past a whisper.
"Elphaba...I..."
His hand moved through his hair again as he searched for words, but his eyes didn't leave hers.
"I'm so sorry that it's this late. That I didn't tell you sooner. But I searched for you...for three years I searched for you, telling myself that one day I'd find you and I'd get to tell you the truth."
"But..."
He didn't hear her objection.
"And it is the truth, Elphaba. Please believe that. Believe me."
He shook his head too now and his eyes bore into hers, imploring her to believe him, to listen.
"I love you."
His hands were warm on her shoulders and his body touched hers.
"I love you so much."
Her hands fluttered in the air, hovering around his form, afraid to touch him.
"But..."
Her breath came in gasps.
"But..."
She tried to calm down but nothing worked. There was no air. No space.
"Fiyero..."
He slid his hands from her shoulders down to her hips and pulled her against him. One hand reached up and traced down her arm to grab her hand, still clutching at air. He placed it against his chest and pressed his face to hers. His breath ghosted over her face, warm and moist and terrifyingly real.
"I love you."
And then he kissed her. His lips moving over hers, warm and soft but firm and with a mission. She gasped and he immediately deepened the kiss. She sagged against him and let her other hand land in his neck, fingers clutching at his hair. He moaned and pulled his mouth away from hers, moving his lips down to her neck.
"Fiyero...Glinda..."
He gasped for breath but pulled back. There was more to be said and he needed to say it.
"I'm so sorry for what I did to her, Elphaba. I am. I wish...I really wish I hadn't let it come so far...but I...I was losing hope of ever finding you and then she surprised me with that engagement and I didn't want to tell her no...I didn't want to hurt her...but..."
He smiled and brushed his nose against her cheek.
"Then I saw you... in that throne room..."
His forehead touched hers and she felt his breath on her lips.
"I didn't have a choice...I had to go with you."
She had to try one more time. It was getting harder though, to object of any of this, even if she didn't understand.
"But you were happy together..."
She really had believed that they were happy together. She never would have breathed a word about her feelings for him. Not ever. Not even now, when he'd willingly left Glinda to come with her. But...
"I..."
His hands had come to rest on her back, holding her hair hostage and keeping her body in touch with his.
"I wasn't unhappy, I suppose...but I was...I was just empty."
He nodded then, as if he'd finally found the words for what he was feeling.
"I missed you, Elphaba. I missed you so much. Every day..."
He smiled and brought a hand up to touch her face.
"I thought about you every day. I longed for you every day."
She whispered.
"I don't understand..."
He smiled at that.
"Neither do I really. I just know...I just know that I need you. To be happy, to not be empty, to be whole and in one piece and...just...to be me..."
His smile faded as he spoke, the seriousness of his words taking all the light-heartedness away.
"I need you."
She swallowed with difficulty, tears blocking her throat. She was looking for something to say, clutching at nothing, when his voice broke through her panic-induced thoughts.
"Do you love me?"
She looked back up in shock. He was still looking at her, but with a calm and kind look on his face. As if he was merely wondering and the answer didn't really matter.
"Do you? Because it's okay if you don't. I know I didn't leave you much of a choice back there. I took that chance and I won't regret it, whatever the outcome...but I just...I need to know if it was all in my head..."
She frowned.
"In your head?"
He nodded as his eyes travelled down to where his hand was playing with her hair in her neck.
"Yeah, back at Shiz, that moment, that silly Lion cub...I had no idea what was happening to me but all I could feel was you...and it never went away..."
He seemed lost in his thoughts but his eyes came back to hers.
"Was it just me?"
She shook her head but didn't dare speak. It was enough because he smiled again and some of the tension left her shoulders.
"Okay. Good. That's good enough for now. I can live with that."
He pressed his lips to hers again and pulled back.
"Do you want to freshen up or something? There's clothes in the bedrooms, I'm sure. You may as well use them."
She shook head head again. Oz, was she only capable of shaking and nodding her head now?
"No."
Her voice was raspy.
"No, I'm okay for now."
"Okay. Food?"
She nodded, glad for the reprieve.
"Okay."
She watched as he busied himself with pots and pans and whatever he found in the cupboards. She wasn't really hungry, had no craving for food at all, but she needed a moment to get her bearings and though he'd offered her that chance, she couldn't bring herself to leave the room.
What if it was all a dream? What if she woke up to a cold and empty room and this turned out to be nothing but a dream? What if he left?
She couldn't quite grasp what was happening but she found she didn't want to question it either.
She should, maybe. At least that's what she worked to remind herself. This could all be a trap. She'd just followed him, no questions asked. The entire Gale Force could come running through the door any moment now.
But even as she tried to convince herself of that, as she tried to get herself to question him, she found she couldn't.
She couldn't quite believe his words, his declaration of love, but she couldn't believe him capable of such a trap either.
If he'd wanted her captured he could have just arrested her in the throne room.
Her mind must have wandered far because next thing she knew he held a full plate in front of her and smiled tentatively.
It was that smile that convinced her of his intentions. Maybe she couldn't believe yet, but she didn't doubt him either. Whatever it was he truly felt for her, it wasn't a wish to see her dead.
She looked at the food, then at him. He cleared his throat and caught her eye.
"Elphaba?"
He put on plate down, reached up and pushed a lock of black hair away from her face.
"You okay?"
His thumb lingered near her temple.
She stared at him, then at the food again, her brow furrowed.
What was she doing?
Here she was, with Fiyero Tiggular of all people, thinking about what could go wrong. Could she not think of anything better? Could she not just focus on the moment, just this once? Just for this moment? She'd been in love with him for so long. Years.
Years she spent fighting away dreams and feelings she wouldn't allow herself to have. And now, he was here. He'd escaped with her, cooked her food, told her he loved her. Told her he was in love with her.
Suddenly, she knew what she wanted. She wanted not to waste time. She wanted not to waste anything she could possibly have with this man. She wanted to forget, for one night, who she was and who he was and what their lives were like. She wanted to forget, for one moment, everything but them.
Because what if this was all she got? This one evening? This one moment?
Chances were, she'd be dead tomorrow. If the Gale Force caught them, so might he. And she'd never ever thought she'd be here, like this, with him. She hadn't been at all prepared for this.
But now...
She wanted this. Just this.
If she could just have this.
Just for one moment. Just one...
Because all the things she'd hoped for...she didn't hope for them any longer. She had no wishes left.
But the one thing she'd never let herself wish for, was still there. Had never waned.
She still wanted him.
She took the other plate out of his hands and set it back on the counter. He looked slightly baffled but he didn't protest. She reached for his hands and pulled him towards her.
"Elphaba?"
She shook her head.
"Please don't say anything. If this is all we get..."
His eyes widened but she didn't stop to think about that as she moved forward ever so slightly and pressed her lips against his.
He staggered a little but his hands grabbed her waist to steady himself and he kissed her back. His tongue slid between her parted lips to deepen the kiss and he pulled her flush up against him. One hand moved to the small of her back as the other wound in her hair.
She moaned, she couldn't fight it, and that only encouraged him. He moved to turn them, the counter pressing into her back and he pressed the length of his body into hers.
Her hands moved from his shoulders down to the hem of his shirt and slipped underneath. His skin was so warm. She was cold, she was always cold and his skin burned against her fingertips. She flattened her hands against his back and he gasped. She didn't know if it was because her hands were cold or for any other reason but it didn't matter. Her fingers explored every inch of skin as they moved to his stomach and up his chest.
He pulled her knee up until her leg was hooked around his hip and lifted her to sit on the counter while her fingers had moved on to unbutton his shirt. She didn't stop to think at all and it wasn't till he pulled back, his face flushed and his breath coming in gasps, that she really noticed where she was. Her other leg had come around his hips and his shirt was hanging open from his body. Her dress was half unbuttoned at the back and her chest heaved against his.
Oh Oz. What was she doing?
He looked at her and she knew it was up to her know. If she said stop, if she pulled back, so would he.
Only...she didn't want to stop. She really didn't want to stop.
She looked at him. He was looking back at her and somehow she knew he saw her. He knew what he was doing and who with. He really saw her and he still wanted this. It was so clear in his eyes. Would it be as clear in hers? Could he see in her eyes what she saw in his?
She took hold of his shirt and gently pulled him back to her, bringing her lips to his. She kissed him again, softly and tentatively. His hands supported her as she wrapped her legs firmly around him and he moved her off the counter and carried her through the door into the living room.
She was still kissing him as he set her down on the sofa and moved over her. It shot through her head how soft the sofa was and how much better that felt than the cold, hard counter. How much nicer now that his body was on top of hers, warm and heavy and strong.
All thoughts fled eventually though, her skin heating up until she was sure she had a fever, heat bursting out of her skin. She only noticed he was talking to her, calling her name, when he pulled back slightly and took the heat with him.
"Elphaba..."
Her name was barely legible in between kisses and she smiled in the knowledge that she could have that kind of power over him.
"Elphaba...this...I...are you..."
She didn't want to talk so she shook her head and bit his bottom lip.
"Shh..."
He growled at that but he wasn't deterred.
"But...I don't want to...I don't want you to think you have to..."
She bit back a sigh and looked at him.
"I don't think that"
Her voice a raspy whisper.
"...I just...this could be all we get...and...I..."
She gathered the courage to say what needed to be said.
"If you want me..."
"I do."
His words left no room for doubt.
"Then …..please, Fiyero...I want this. I want you."
More courage for what came next. She moved her legs a little and pressed her body against his.
"I love you."
She wanted to kiss him but couldn't make herself move. Frozen in a moment she never thought she'd have, she stared at him, waiting for a response.
A small part of her expected him to laugh at her or pull a pained face as he explained to her he'd made a mistake and had to go back to Glinda. But he didn't. He smiled the biggest smile she'd ever seen on his face and stared down at her.
"You sure you're not just saying that to get me in bed?"
She laughed at that, so clear and true that it surprised them both. She'd needed that. That relief of the tension, the way he could downplay even the most serious and intense moments. It removed her from her own intensity when it threatened to envelop her. She was grateful now, where she would have once been angry.
"That might have something to do with it."
He nodded, his face holding a feigned solemn expression.
"That's only fair. And perfectly understandable."
She smiled at him and moved a lock away from his forehead.
"You're a fool."
He grinned.
"A fool for you."
She rolled her eyes and was astonished by the kiss it got her and the smile that suddenly appeared on his face.
"I missed you so much, Elphaba. You have no idea."
She swallowed the lump in her throat and stared up at him.
"I missed you too."
She was expecting another smile at that, or a teasing remark but instead his eyes focused on her face as one hand came up to trace her cheekbones, her nose, her lips. His thumb paused on her bottom lip and he smiled a strange, wistful smile.
"We missed so much..."
She frowned and pulled back a little. It was unsettling to see him like this. This man who had always been so full of life and laughter and light. He had a darker side now. He had shadows clinging to him that hadn't been there before. Had she had a hand in that? Her hands came up to trace his face, and bring his eyes back to hers.
"Fiyero?"
His thumb moved to her temple as his fingers crept into her hair and he pressed his lips to hers again.
"We'll make up for it. All that lost time."
She felt herself nod, even if she didn't fully believe it. Anything to get him back. And to allow herself to believe, just for tonight.
"I hope so."
He kissed her then, with all the fire and passion he'd kissed her with before and she felt the fever flare up again.
Maybe it wouldn't last. It was more than probable that it wouldn't last.
But they could try, at least.
They could try.
Well...what did you think?
And more importantly, do you want one more?
