Disclaimer: nope, still not.
Summary: The ship is burning, Jim Kirk is gone, and the screams won't stop. [sequel to 'lies ruin a starship' and 'burning dreams'] [part 3 of 4]
**_**
No one moves. There are no plumes of breath to wasp in the air – disappearing into the atmosphere that doesn't exist, there is nothing. The consoles are quiet, no one is touching them, no fingers dancing in a thickened tango between people that have saved this Earth, and some thing is wrong, so very wrong. There is nothing.
" JIIIIIIM!" Nyota – in touch with her feelings Nyota whom hated The Light (his light, his love, his t'hy'la) like no other before – is the first to scream, the first to let tears bleed from her eyes as she falls to the floor in a heap of shaking limbs and hollow gasps.
" Goddammit!" McCoy howls, wrapping his arms around his girlfriend and lets his sobs fill the air with her, she wraps her thin arms around him as well and they aren't alone but there's something so not right about anything anymore.
Sulu falls out of his seat, watching the carnage on screen and doesn't move, he's in shock, and he's lost and withered into a blank inferno. But Chekov is no better, he's bawling at his station, Standard evading him like a dancing bug as he reverts to Russian.
" Нет, нет, нет, нет! Капитан, вернись! пожалуйста! Вернуться к вашему дому!"
But it is Spock – silent stone Spock – who is truly lost. He does not join in with his team as they break on the bridge – shatter into a thousand tiny fragments that won't fit together again. He stumbles to his room and collapses on the floor to meditate. For several glorious moments there is peace for him; nothing but the nothing he's created.
(" –on Spock! Let's play chess! It'll be fun.")
Nonono the memories, they're back, swarming, swamping, burning, break.
'No, no, come back t'hy'la, I love you, I love you, return to me, return to me…'
Suddenly there's an influx of memories, no way to control them, they're coming, and he'll be damned if they ever stop. He'll never love another, The Light was his only, his love, his. He rages and storms in his room, breaking everything and breaking himself in the process, it's not enough! How can he stop this pain, this loss? Break everything; shatter everything he's ever held dear. It's nothing compared to his Light. He thinks of breaking his window to let the blackness that stole his Light in, so he may die with his love.
Then he sees something out his window – the one The Light was so envious of and the one he just contemplated using in suicide (is there a reason to live without Light?) – it is a ship, an escape ship that's moving slowly, burning out of fuel, but he knows that insignia, it is the Captain's vessel – the special vessel only for the Captain that even Spock has.
It's who he thinks it is? Is it? He prays and hopes and cries out as his team hears his orders and they retrieve the vessel.
The door to the vessel slides open and empty hearts – full of loss and hypocritical lies that make it empty – fill to the brim with something light and airy they don't remember.
It's Jim - staring at them like they killed him, robbed his blueblue eyes of life, love, and all things good and pure in this wayward world.
(the pain returns and there is no sieve this time.)
**_**
ha-ha, I know, I know, you all hate me right? well it will get better, there is another part coming up!
By the way Chekov is yelling – dramatically I may add – "No, no, no, no, Captain! Come back! Please! Come back to your home!"
yes, i changed the ending, it was the only way to make the fourth part work so don't freak out, mkaaay?
:D hate me in silence? I think not. review! pleaaase!
~AU.
