It seemed like Keon's life was on autoplay, doing the same routine everyday without change. Wake up, eat, fuck Akivya, shower, put on his new disguise, give a fake smile to another "client" that'll surely be dead within the next few days, meet with Carmine, do paperwork, meet Akivya for a quickie, eat, let Akivya suck him off, and then go to sleep. Repeat. Everyday, nothing ever seemed to change. It was almost insulting to him, how boring and repetitive his life had really become. He was barely twenty four, and he'd already hated his life. That wasn't supposed to happen until he was much older.
Even their sex life had gotten boring and tedious. He didn't think it was really possible, but apparently it was. A self proclaimed and tested satyriasiss could get bored with sex, which probably was nearly on the verge of being impossible. Their love life used to be so fun, adventures and energy draining… there were days that his partner had trouble walking after he fucked him so hard. Keon smiled at the excessive amount of times the two of them roleplayed, cross dressed, did anal play..there isn't a single thing that the two of them hadn't done yet, they did it all and they enjoyed it through every little bit.
Everything seemed to disappoint him, boring and inane anymore.
A heavy sigh escaped his lips, reminding him that in the next few minutes, he'd be ending the cycle for just a few moments until he had to wake up and do it all over again. Once he opened the door, he slowly took off his heavy sweater and let it drop to the ground with a single concern. Akivya could clean it up, and then yell at him for getting their "temporary home" dirty again. Keon simply didn't care, only wanting to shut his eyes and sleep.
"Akivya?" His voice was unusually higher than usual, soft and feminine. Cursing at himself for not getting rid of it before returning home, Keon cleared his voice out until he was satisfied with how it sounded. Not his original voice, which has been long since forgotten, (it was high and childish, very odd for someone like him.) but was close enough.
He didn't know why he was upset, but he was, and it just wasn't fair. Admittedly, Akivya wanted to blame it on Keon being a total Negative Nellie for the past week (at least, if not longer), but at the same time, he couldn't help that awful, nagging voice in the back of his mind saying that it was his fault Keon wasn't happy. That he wasn't good enough, that he was just too… too self-absorbed, too predictable, too goddamn textbook for his own good. And maybe that was why it just seemed like their relationship was going down the drain. Maybe it was because he was a fucking idiot who fell in love with some guy and decided to pine over him when Keon had made it perfectly clear that he didn't want this relationship. Or maybe he was overreacting and it was all in his head, maybe it was all just some simple misunderstanding and his emotions were just… just whatever the fuck emotions were.
So when the front door creaks open and he hears the sound of his name being called (in a voice he's not entirely used to,) Akivya runs a hand through his hair, looks over at the door and tries to make it look like he hasn't been sitting here like a goddamn wreck for the past hour or two. He gives as much of a smile as he can muster, standing and smoothing out the wrinkles in his shirt.
"Ke-Ke. I-I'm glad you're back! My little honey bunny. You have n-no idea how much I've missed… I mean… I cleaned today! I'm getting, like, so annoyed with Carmine. Literally, he won't let me do shit. I can only shine a mirror so many times!" He gives a laugh (and hopes that it's genuine, even though his head tells him it definitely isn't) and almost instantly, bounds over and grabs the disguiser by the wrist.
"I decided to change the curtains since you kept taking the other ones down… um… did you want something to eat? I know you've been… stressed lately. Or, well, I think you have. It's always so hard to tell- you just have that natural poker face. I'm almost jealous…" he trailed off, practically wilting at the expression on Keon's face. "Keon… um… you know I love you, right? Just… I do. I really, really love you. I don't… I don't want you to get tired of me. I'm sorry."
Again, Keon sighed. Barely able to force himself not to roll his eyes at Akivya's over dramatic plea, he brought his lips down to the janitor's lips. The janitor's eyes seemed to brighten greatly at this, hopefully realizing that he'd never leave him… not in the nearby future at least. He did care for him greatly, even if he felt tired of everything. "I won't get tired of you, Aki."
Noticing that his hair was out of place, a grand opposite of what he had always looked like, Keon let himself bring the older man into his arms and hugged his chin into his neck. "You're like a child.. This is the third time I've told you something like this before, honestly.. pay attention. When I say something, I mean it."
Akivya says something quietly, giving him a smile that didn't seem to reach his eyes.
Not wanting to further the conversation anymore, Keon looks away from him and focuses his attention on the large mirror in front of their dresser. His eyes look too dark, contrasting greatly against the fair woman he was supposed to be disguised as. If he had to look deeper, his whole demeanor seemed to be darker and more exhausted than he wanted. Another sigh escaped his lips, resigned to the fact that even makeup and dresses wouldn't disguise him even if he tried his hardest to do so.
"Aki," he finally said something after several minutes of complete silence, noting he had been staring at him with a worrying gaze. "Stop.. stop staring. You're becoming unnerving."
The second the words slip from Keon's lips, he's dragging in a breath and attempting to stand up straighter, not willing to apologize again when he was only going to get the same reaction. Instead he just gives the other a once-over and tosses him a shirt left on the nightstand, gesturing to the bathroom. "You should… get dressed or something, yeah? I bet you'd feel more comfortable, and you're always more happy when you're comfortable. It… it looks kinda frustrating to be honest. Um… I'll just… I'll be in the other room. Whenever you're done… or whatever. Just… can you…"
Akivya trails off, the words dying on his lips as he tries not to think too much about what he wants to say. He has to curse himself, practically slamming his head into the wall (at least mentally) because fuck, I'm acting like Julian. This is seriously getting to my head. I need… I need to do something. Maybe if I was doing something I'd feel better. Something like… like sex. No, not sex- clearly he doesn't want sex. Cooking? I could make brownies or something… or…
Opting to simply look down at his hands, still covered with sticky latex gloves, he barely suppressed the slight whimper that seems to part from his lips at the action. He doesn't know why he's being so stupid all of a sudden, acting like a hormonal wreck when he clearly knew better and was far too old for that shit anyway. Fuck, he was thirty-seven! He didn't need to be standing around crying like… like whatever he was doing. Maybe it was because this was only the second actual relationship he'd been in, and they'd been together for 121 days, which meant it was the longest relationship he'd ever been in and…
"Keon? I… I want to cuddle. Don't make me get demanding." He grabbed for the blanket off the back of a chair, pulling it behind him before he sat down on the couch and tucked knees up to his chest. Akivya isn't even sure if the disguiser heard him, he just… he just wants him. He wants him so badly, and it's entirely different from how he's wanted people before. Needing someone to fuck you isn't the same as needing someone. "Bunbun? My sugarmuffin? Are you okay?"
"Are you?" Keon let himself fall down on the bed, stretching out until his head is laying down on the janitor's knees. He reached for his face, gently stroking his face until he's looking at him. Giving him a forced smile until he's sure that Akivya approves of it, he closed his eyes and tried to imagine they were both anywhere else but here.
Maybe at a spa, surrounded by the lovely escorts that worked there.. something relaxing, different than this place. It sounded nice in his head, though he couldn't imagine Carmine ever letting the both of them leave for vacation.. Or well, even just one of them. The only person that he could imagine him letting leave for vacation was Gioia. Not even his mafioso would be allowed. Their asshole Godfather seemed to believe only his fiance should only ever be allowed to have any fun. Keon considered it favouritism.
After several pregnant pauses, Keon looked back up to the janitor and noticed he was, once again, looking at him with an excessive amount of worry.
"Of course I am! Why wouldn't I be? I mean, I just… you know me. I get too concerned with all this stuff… and then I can't get my head out of whatever mess it's in. I mean, I've been stuck in here for so long I'm practically going stir crazy! That's it, sugarplum. Really. I promise."
It clearly wasn't, but Akivya hoped his features read well enough that Keon would just pass it off as another phase he was going through or something… something minor. Of course, it wasn't like he really had any problems… aside from being a clingy slut that couldn't take acknowledgement without an extreme amount of attention as well. But it wasn't like Keon wasn't paying attention to him… he was. Akivya just wanted more. He felt lonely.
The janitor ran his hand through his lover's hair, brushing it back and combing through the tangles that presented themselves, pressing fingers into his temple as another attempt to maybe… maybe make him relax. That was what he was supposed to do, right? He was supposed to keep the disguiser happy, but it was so fucking difficult! He didn't understand why it had to be so difficult all the goddamn time. Keon was either unresponsive or uncooperative and it just continued to ruin his mood.
Or maybe it was just the emotional bullshit talking. He just wanted to do something nice… he wanted to get married, really, wanted to start settling down, maybe leave the mafia for good. He just wanted to do something with his life instead of being that deadbeat whore who was only good at sleeping with people and cleaning up their messes. If he was even good at that.
"Ke-Ke…" the janitor started, trying to cover up the crack in his voice. "I… I'm not just a burden, right? Not too clingy… I mean, I know I'm a whore, I just… you know." It didn't make any sense. "Have you ever thought about… I don't know, the future? Like… getting married to someone? Or having a family?"
Keon kissed the inside on the janitor's palm, rubbing his head against the boy's neck. Of course the answer was rather obvious, he had plans to marry him one day.. maybe soon, he hadn't decided when exactly. There wasn't anyone in the world that would've worked better for him- Akivya really was perfect for him, for the most part anyway.
"You're always clingy, that part won't ever change," he gave him a chuckle. "Besides, I already let you live with me.. not too hard to already consider you my wife at this point."
Looking back up to his now soften expression, Keon leaned up and pushed the janitor onto the bed until the smaller boy was pressed against his chest. Akivya was so cute when he acted like this, even if he didn't want to admit it. It felt oddly nice having someone worry about him that wasn't in a sexual way or think of him as just a fuck toy. That's why they worked so well together, Keon mused.
"I could make it official if you want.."
He was trying really, really hard not to cry when those words slipped from Keon's mouth, hiding his face against the taller man's neck and shutting his eyes tightly, just barely able to feel his breath bouncing off of Keon's skin. He was so warm. It was nice, as much as he'd doubted saying that. He didn't want to move. Akivya would gladly spend an eternity in this position, cuddled against Keon in his arms. Even if it did make him feel younger than he actually was.
And smaller. Height difference was so twenty-five years ago.
He thinks he makes a noise- something between a sigh and a whimper, pressing closer to the disguiser until he can feel his back arched forward so they were skin to skin, minus the thin shirts both of them wore. One of his hand moves up to tangle in Keon's hair, Akivya's lips barely pressing against his jaw as he hisses out, "You want to marry me, cupcake? I'm your bunbun forever?" Maybe it sounds stupid, but it almost feels like his head's going to explode from the sheer excitement building in his chest.
He can already imagine what a mess it's going to be. But it's a good mess, the janitor thinks, one that he doesn't need to fix. And besides, he's kinda sorta always wanted to get married. Not just to anyone. To someone who was attractive and sweet and cared about him. Like Romeo and Juliet or something. Akivya didn't really want the tragedy though. Blood is impossible to get out of white clothing.
"I do," Keon broke free from Akivya's grip on his hair and pecked his lips, a small smile playing his lips. "Just say the word, Aki. And.. I'll steal you a dress and the nicest ring I can find."
Maybe life would be better if he did marry, maybe his boredom would pass for a little while if he were to settle down and do couple things with Akivya. He knew that the janitor would like it.. all the attention to the bride, he'd love it. It'd be fun to play the adoring couple for a little while.
"What do you say? Say yes and we can do it tonight.."
"Tonight?" It's almost more of an exclamation the way he finally says it, looking up at Keon skeptically before rolling over onto his back and looking up at the ceiling. "I mean, obviously, my answer's yes. I love you. You're my razzle dazzle. My cutie pie. My bunbun. The only one that matters. You know that. But just… what's Carmine going to say? The rest of the mafia? They're going to hate us…"
He paused, pulled in a breath. "But I guess… well, I don't need any of them like I need you, Ke-Ke. I need you like I need air. You're basically the first 'boyfriend' I've had… a lot more than just a fuck buddy or whatever. So. Yeah. I guess anything you want, I want too. Because I want you. And our love is basically written in the stars. Like fate."
Leaning his head back, Keon pressed his lips against the back of the boy's head and closed his eyes. Fate? Sure, Akivya could call it that if it made him feel better. Personally Keon that the idea of fate sounded stupid and over simplified, but.. sure. At any other moment, he'd openly mock him for his belief about this.. but when they're both here, cuddling, newly engaged.. he didn't want to ruin the moment that the two of them had created. It was way too perfect to be ruined by one of his petty jabs.
"Fate, I guess it works.." he gave him a light chuckle, brushing his hair with his hands.
Taking a hold of the tanner man's hand, and played with the his ring finger. He'd need a ring.. something nice and expensive looking, one that would go nice with his high maintenance self. A diamond- no, he didn't want to bother trying to find something that expensive in the shrivel he lives in. A wedding band might be the best he could do, considering he's barely paid and people here all seem to want to hide their jewelry. Maybe Gioia has some that he can take without her noticing.
"You're going to look perfect," he smiles lightly, barely looking down at him before returning his focus to his hand. Kissing his knuckles, he whispered, "I love you, Akis."
"Keon…" the janitor sucked in a breath, letting it out so softly he wasn't sure it had happened. It was sudden (and perfect) and abrupt (and wonderful) and he was either going to choke because he couldn't catch his fucking breath or he was going to cry, and Akivya wasn't exactly keen on either option.
The tears leave his eyes anyway, and he barely has the sense to blurt out "This was so last minute, Keon. I-I at least wanted to make some cute invitations and stuff… fuck I love you too, baby. You're the only person I need." Anything else he'd wanted to say comes out as an embarrassing mix of laughter and tears.
But at least Keon seems happy. And Akivya was happy too.
