Senior Year:

Zoey walked in with her 6 month pregnant gut. Holding hands with me, her true love, Chase. Or at least true since 7 months ago.

Flashback:

I was just sitting with my pals Logan and Michael when Zooey ran up to me and threw a pregnancy test at my head. But with my amazing Matrix reflexes, I caught it first swipe. I felt something wet upon my fingers.

"EW!" I shrieked like a little child. "You peed on it."

"Chase hon, I'm preggers."

"I mean really, that's disgusting! No one needs to touch that."

"And you're the father."

"Seriously, Zoey. I mean, if it had been Michael's or Logan's it would be OK. But yours?" I then puked at her feet.

But Zoey was over the moon with joy and kissed me with deep passion. "Can you believe this?"

I wiped my hands on her shirt and then took her to my bed so we could be happy elsewhere.

Present time:

I was so jubilant when we picked out baby shirts and shoes.

Flashback:

"How about this one, muffin crumbs?" I asked, holding up a pink jumpsuit.

"Mop top, we don't even know if it's a girl."

"Hey, real men where pink," I exclaimed, looking down at my own pink shirt.

Present time:

Or when we first saw the baby picture from the womb.

Flashback:

"It looks like a potato," I said, and I started to cry.

Future-3 months later:

"Mop top!" sang Muffin crumbs. "My water broke. Time to mop it up."

"Oh my Edward!" I shouted, running around like a chicken with its head chopped off. I grabbed her baby bag and headed into the car waiting for her to waddle out. "Hurry up, fat one, the engines going. I'm running out of gas."

Two hours later:

Puff! Puff! Puff! Wheezed my preggo Zo. As she gasped through the contractions.

"Mop top..."she breathed, "I have something to confess...

"Oh my Anthony Woodstocks!" I cried, looking at her vag. "It's coming!"

"Did someone call my name?" Anthony Woodstock aka Doctor Love said, arriving to deliver the baby.

"Doctor... Doctor!" Zoey gasped in pain.

"Give me the news!" I sang. "I gotta bad case of loving you!"

Anthony looked at me a moment, then smiled roguishly. "Most people do. Anyway," he grew serious. "Before we start, I believe Zoey here wants to tell you something."

"You do?" I asked in surprise.

"Yes," Zoey gasped. "Well, the thing is." The potato head was coming out suddenly. She pushed. "This baby..." She pushed again and blood spewed forward. Eek! "Is Logans."

I fainted.

When I came to, a black baby was put in my arms.

"Oops," said Muffin Crumbs innocently. "I guess it was Michael's."

The End