Summary: Clint accidentally left Tony's ass out in the night during summer and got it frozen. Tony is not amused. Sam is trying to melt it for the past two hours but with not success. Nobody seems to find it strange while Loki is eating cookies in the corner.

"Clint! You freaking froze my ass!"

"What who me?! Tony it's 80 degrees out there and you think I froze your stupid ass just by leaving it out there during the night?"

"Ok guys, look, so if Clint haven't left my ass out during the night it wouldn't have-"

"Hey, I didn't actually mean to freeze your ass! How did I know it was going to freeze-"

"Guys, how is it still frozen when I tried melting it for two straight hours? Anybody? Hello?"

"I don't care Sam, Clint still freaking froze my ass,"

"Can we stop using the word ass?!"

"Shut up Steve,"

"WHAT OF ASGARD IS GOING ON!"

"Guys, we have to calm down,"

"Says Natasha,"

"Calm down? He froze my ass!"

"First things first, it was not your ass, it was Loki's,"

Loki stopped eating cookies in the corner. "Now I'm dragged into this?" he asked.

"Whatever Barton, I don't care, you still froze my-"

"GUYS, frozen donkey's still frozen and it's been near the fire for two hours now strike you any strange?"

"NO IT DOESN'T NOW EVERYBODY SHUT YOUR CAKEHOLES-"

"Cakeholes?"

"SHUT UP BUCKY I'M TRYING TO FIGURE THIS OUT,"

"Maybe I should call SHIELD…"

"CALL HYDRA!"

"Shut up Loki,"

"Already am," Natasha held up her phone. Steve grinned.

"AND BUCKY I KNOW YOU WERE FROZEN FOR MANY YEARS BUT THIS ISNT THE SAME THIS IS MY ASS-"

"Guys…the donkey is still frozen I suggest we first melt it then blame it on Clint,"

"Blame it on me? Blame it on me? Why not Loki he's the one who brought the stupid ass to Tony,"

"Actually Thor gave it to me as my birthday present,"

"What!? How could you Loki, that was my gift to you!"

"SHIELD how far are you from Sam Wilson's house?"

"We're here but we've decided to take cover,"

"What! Coulson you can't do this to us,"

"LOKI, THAT WAS MY GIFT! MY GIFT TO YOU!"

"Guys, ice still not melting…someone?"

"FUCK IT I'M JUST GOING TO SWEAR CLINT YOU FUCKING FROZE MY ASS,"

"As I said-"

"LANGUAGE!"

"Bucky you frozen piece of-"

"Lovely food,"

"Guys…"

Suddenly, there was a large gust of wind coming from the center of the yard. Before the Avengers could register what was going on, Stephen Strange knelt there, head bowed. The Avengers watched in silence as Strange got up and brushed his pants.

"Fury sent me here to set Tony's donkey on fire," he said, as if there was nothing more obvious then that.

Nobody said anything for a while. Eventually, Tony spoke up. "It's ass," he said. Strange raised an eyebrow.

"Okay," he said slowly, "then Fury told me to set Tony's ass on fire."

He raised his hand at the donkey. A burst of fire shot out from his hand and onto the donkey, lighting it up in flames.

"Well, I guess I'm done for now," Strange said with smile, turning back to them. He disappear in a cloud of smoke after that.

The entire yard was silent for a while. Even Loki stopped eating his cookies.

"Well, that ended pretty quickly," Clint said, breaking the silence.

He glanced at Tony. Tony's face was red. Really red. Clint braced himself then looked back at his teammates. They were all hiding behind tables. Clint gulped. Finally, Tony exploded.

"DID FURY JUST FUCKING SET MY ASS ON FIRE!?"

Hey guys, Izzy here. Got this idea from my Tardis Crashing story. If you haven't read it, go check it out, it's Doctor Who and Marvel Crossover.