The One Where No Ones Ready

This story is very loosely based on that episode of Friends. Summary - tainted food causes everyone to spill their deepest and darkest secrets. Guest appearances and could it be yes moonwalking! Takes places in the 4th book before the Yule Ball it contains characters in that book and some that just came for the free Kool-Aid.

*Everyone in the Great Hall eating supper before the Yule Ball*

Everyone was eating their Krusty burgers talking amongst themselves about the Yule Ball. When suddenly Fred hit George making him spill his "pumpkin juice" on everyone's food.
"Sorry about that" George said grinning evilly at Fred because the pumpkin juice was really a very strong truth potion they had stolen from Snape. Everyone continued eating their food like nothing had been spilled on it. When supper was over everyone went into their dorms to get ready for the Yule Ball then abruptly turned around and came back down the stairs.
"I'm not going" said Ron as he slumped into a chair.
"Me either" Harry said picking up a glass of Kool-Aid. "Hey we have Kool-Aid! Dean exclaimed chugging several glasses of cherry Kool-Aid.
Soon everyone had, had atleast one glass of Kool-Aid and people were spilling secrets left and right.
"I've been stealing Fred's money!" Pavarti yelled from across the room.
"What the fudge?! Give me my money back!!" Fred yelled before lunging at Pavarti. They started wrestling on the floor knocking the Krusty burgers they had nicked from the kitchen to the floor. Everyone was laughing at them. Their attention was briefly adverted when Neville transformed into a large canary. "I read LOTR and Gandalf is a better wizard then Dumbledor!"
"Neville you read LOTR?" Ron yelled through the laughter.
"No not really I'm rather fond of Elijah Wood tho."
"Fred I'm not really your twin!"
"Yes you are retard we look exactly alike." Fred yelled.
"I like Quidditch better then Football!"
"No your wrong Dean Football is way better then Quidditch!" Wood yelled though hysterical laughter.
"I never really wanted to be a commentator my real dream was to be a stand up comedian!"
"There, there" said Seamus trying to comfort Lee.
"I have a secret passion for singing"
"Me too Hermione!" Lavender yelled.
They start singing "cause I'm a wannabe gangster, better go back to commack, better go back to far away" with the kareoke machine Hermione conjured.
"OH! Can I join Hermione?" Sirius Black said walking up to Hermione with a glass of Kool-Aid in his hand.
"Sirius Black what are you doing here?" Hermione asked as Fred handed him a Krusty burger.
"I came for a visit and Hermione I ate you cat!"
"What!?" Hermione yelled.
"Shut-up Hermione Eek it's Sirius Black!" Lavender screamed.
"No shit, shut-up lavender! Oh and I'm not guilty y'all got to feel me! S to the Sirius B to the Black-A."
"Get lost Sirius!"
"You tell 'em Hermione!"
"Fine I'll leave if you really want me too." Sirius leaves looking hurt.
"Hermione and Lavender continue singing Wannabe Gangster."We wanna sing too" Fred or George yelled grabbing the mic from Hermione. They start singing "just the two of us, we can make it if we try, just the two of us, (just the two of us), just the two of us, building castles in the sky, just the two of us, you and I" "How very touching NOW GIVE ME THE MIC!!" Harry screeched grabbing the mic from Fred or George. "Am I coming or going I can barely decide I just drank a fifth a kool-aid dare me to fly?"
"I dare ya to fly" Krum said pushing Harry.
Just then Voldemort appeared wearing a technicolour dream coat.
"Hey where'd you get that technicolour dream coat?" Cedric asked.
"They let me keep it after we finished filming Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dream Coat. You two go squish now!" Voldemort yelled before killed Krum and Cedric and pushing them into a corner."Would anyone like some French toast?" Fleur said holding up a plate of french toast.
"Oh I wouldn't mind some" Voldemort said before killed her and stealing her french toast.
"Now I'll show you how it's done" Voldemort said as he jumped on the table and started singing "are you ok, you ok, you ok Harry" before moonwalking across the table.
Then Jesse and Chester yell "has anyone seen the continuem transfuctioner?"
"I think I left it at my house. Dude where's you car?" Voldemort said.
"I dunno lets go find it then we can pick up the continuem transfuctioner at your house." Chester said.
"OK let's go" Voldemort replied as they fly off into the sunset. "OH! I've got a song for Harry it goes like this Gimme back my chair!!"
"I didn't steal you chair Ron!"
"Yes you did I was just sitting there!"
"But now you not!"
"Fine!" Ron yelled running up the stairs to the boys dorm returning minutes later "you wanna steal me chair I'm wearing everything you own!"
"You retard! Give me back my clothes!"
"Harry where your clothes at? It's mighty hot wearing all these maybe I'll do some lunges!"
Harry lunged at Ron and they started wrestling on the floor. Everyone's attention was adverted be Percy stumbling in with a lampshade on his head and a glass of kool-aid in his hand. "What did u put in this shit ?!"
"Nothing" said George smirking evilly.
"I'm in love with Ginny!" Dennis yelled.
"OK now your just being stupid!" Colin said.
"Shut-up and have some Kool-Aid" Ginny said stumbling over. "Green, yellow and purple pills get your green yellow and purple pills here!" Katie, Alicia and Angelina yelled.
Bill and Charlie show up "hey we were looking for those!"
"We found them in Snape's office"
Suddenly Hagrid shows up "Time for bed" he boomed. "Bill, Charlie and Percy GO HOME!" After he shoves everyone in bed he goes home because the Yule Ball has been over for hours.

At the Yule Ball no one even noticed that the Gryffindors and the champions weren't there.

Disclaimer - I don't own Harry Potter or anything to do with Harry Potter, The Simpsons, Lord Of The Rings, Friends, Joseph And The Amazing Technicolour Dream Coat or Dude Where's My Car. I also don't own the following songs shown in the order of which they appeared in the story :
Wannabe Gangstar by Wheatus
Just The Two Of Us by Will Smith
My Name Is by Eminem
Smooth Criminal by Micheal Jackson Where My Girls At by 702