Disclaimer: I do not own HP, however much I may wish otherwise. I have loved this story since I was but six years old and have just decided to have a little fun with JKR's characters. Don't sue!
Tester Chapter
He would never admit it to anyone, but he was excited. He always was. To go back to SCHOOL for god's sake! If that got out he'd never live it down. It's not that he particularly enjoyed WORK or anything, though his grades weren't that bad despite his constant inattention in class.
What he liked were the people, and the fun. And admittedly the mischief also played a large part of it.
This year was probably going to be even better than usual, as Fred and his brother were going into their third year at Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and that meant trips to Hogsmeade were made occasionally throughout the year. Of course, Fred and George hadn't really abided by the rules during their first two years, and the restrictions on them going to the village had been no exception. But now they were ALLOWED go and could go with their friends, instead of sneaking through dark passageways (conveniently mapped for them by previous mischief-makers). They had had a bit of trouble convincing their mother to sign the form, though. She seemed to have formed the odd idea that they would somehow get their hands on something dangerous. Especially explosives. The twins had never actually blown anything up but Mum seemed to think it was only a matter of time (and Fred rather agreed). Thankfully they eventually managed to sway her in exchange for patiently listening to her lecture on their studies and how it was wrong to blow things up.
Another bonus to consider about this year was that among the ickle firsties (as Peeves seemed so fond of calling them) was Fred's little brother, Ron.
Fred grinned evilly at this last thought: they would have fun with little Ronnie.
"Oy! Fred!" His twin said loudly beside him, and then proceeded to wave a hand in front of his face theatrically. Fred blinked and focused on George's face.
"What?" he said distractedly.
"You've been staring at nothing for ten minutes," said his brother exasperatedly. "We need to finish packing within the next half an hour on Mum will have our necks."
"Oh, yeah, sorry! Just thinking," said Fred, getting back to the matter at hand. George's eyes widened in over-dramatic surprise and he clutched at his heart.
"Fred? Thinking?" he exclaimed. "I may just die of shock!"
"Yeah, I know," Fred agreed with an innocent look. "But it's actually turning out to be a quite a pleasant experience." He paused for a while, stuffing the rest of his things in his trunk and closing it.
"Maybe you should try it some time," he suggested amiably as he headed towards the kitchen for breakfast.
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Half an hour later they were all squashed into the Ford Anglia and heading for King's Cross Station. Dad wasn't coming today because of some hexed lavatory with a vendetta against Muggles, which meant that no one had enlarged the inside of the car. Mum insisted on doing things the 'Muggle way' and consequently this meant that they had to fit six people into a five-seater car. Percy, being a prefect, got the privilege of sitting up front with Mum, while Fred, George, Ron and Ginny (who insisted on coming) were all squashed together in the back. Fred naturally decided that since this maybe his last chance to talk to Ron before they got there he might as well make use of it.
"So," he said sociably to his younger brother. "Excited?"
Ron, who was looking very nervous, nodded uncertainly. Then he cleared his throat and voiced a question that seemed to have been bothering him (if Fred was any judge of such matters).
"I was wondering," Ron began in a slightly higher-pitched voice than normal, "and this is just for the sake of curiosity you understand, but what if, well, I'mnotingryffindor…"
"Wha'? Didn't catch that last part," he said.
"What if I'm not in Gryffindor?" Ron repeated more slowly, trying (and failing) to seem uninterested. "What are the other Houses like?"
"Well, first of all, if you're not in Gryffindor we'll disown you. Ravenclaws are stuffy, Hufflepuffs are duffers and Slytherins are assholes." He looked guiltily toward Mum in case she was listening but when she made no recognisable sign of disapproval he relaxed. She hated it when they swore.
He noticed Ron looking more nervous than ever. It was meant to be a joke (disown him, pfff!), but Ron always took everything way too seriously. Oh well, if he was going to mess with the kid he may as well do it thoroughly.
"We're going to enjoy watching the Sorting with you in it," he said, mildly. "Entertaining." He winked at George, who had been listening, and saw his twin stifle an evil grin.
"Why?" said Ron nervously (and more than a bit suspiciously). "How do they sort us." George was the one who answered.
"S'a test," he said. "A challenge if you will."
"What kind of test?"
"Don't worry your little head about it," said Fred condescendingly. "The school Matron has some very effective painkillers if you get injured."
"Why would I get injured?" Ron asked now looking terrified.
"You might not," Fred reassured slightly… before shattering the boy's last shreds of confidence. "Maybe you're secretly a child prodigy when it comes to troll fighting."
" A TROLL?!!!!" Ron practically shrieked in his alarm. Mum heard him this time.
"What's going on back there?" she snapped irratibly.
"Nothing Mum," Fred answered as innocently as possible. She turned to glare at him but as she did so a passing Muggle car honked at her and she forgot about him.
"Quiet!" Fred hissed at his brother (although he felt a bit guilty about this as it was his fault for winding him up).
At this point George changed the subject.
"How's Scabbers doing?" he inquired, rather randomly it seemed to Fred.
"He's as healthy and boring as ever," Ron replied shortly, obviously still thinking about the 'troll'. Judging from his increasingly suspicious glances toward him, Fred suspected that he had decided not to believe him. Fred was secretly glad. Ron was too gullible for his own good. These things were meant to startle him but only until common sense kicked in. Unfortunately his little bro' seemed kind of lacking in that department. Oh, well.
"Really? Didn't you try that fur-dying charm I taught you?" George continued, acting puzzled.
"It doesn't work," said Ron, irritated. "As you no doubt know."
"Always worked for me mate," said George innocently.
"You probably just did it wrong," Fred stated, barely paying attention anymore. Mum was just turning into King's Cross Station car park. Finally!
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Authors Note: Please be gentle! First ever fanfic and though I appreciate constructive criticism please do not be needlessly cruel.
This is but a trial chapter to see if anyone cares about this idea. I will continue if I receive positive feedback or slight encouragement. I do not wish to write something that no one will read.
Please review! I beg!
