"AAAAAAAUGHHHHH!"

The Doctor awoke with a start. Someone was screaming... Amy. Amy was screaming. Amy was in trouble.

He slapped his jacket onto his back halfhazardly and sprinted down the corridor and into the console room, yielding his sonic screwdriver protectively.

"Amelia! It's okay, I've got everything under -" the Timelord stopped suddenly, dropping his arm. "What are you doing?"

Amy sat on a bench at the edge of the platform, tapping at her phone.

"Hush, Doctor," she muttered. "Busy..."

"Busy?!" The Doctor trotted towards her. "It's 2 AM. You were screaming."

Amy nodded, not listening, and continued to tap. "Yeah, yeah, it - UGH! Stupid bird!"

She threw her phone down in frustration and looked up at the Doctor. "Sorry. Just got this game, Fla- what on earth are you wearing?"

The Doctor looked down. He was dressed in his usual sleeping attire as well as the tweed jacket he had thrown on. "What do you mean?"

"You sleep in a bow tie?"Amy raised an eyebrow amusedly.

The Timelord tugged at his silky night-bow-tie and shrugged.

"Yes - no," he stuttered. "I dunno. It's not weird. I - why don't you sleep in a bow tie?"

"Huh? Why would I -"

"-besides," the Doctor interjected, "that's not the point. Get to bed, Pond, we've got a busy day tomorrow. Does Rory know you're awake? ROR-"

"-okay, okay, don't wake him up, I'm goin' to bed, alright?" She shook her head disdainfully at her phone. "Stupid game, anyway."

"Good."

Human entertainment devices. The Doctor'd never understand the appeal of... Digital birds. First they were angry, now they were flapping, what was next?

"Good night, Doctor," Amy sang, rounding the corner and exiting the console room.

The Timelord nodded to himself and flopped down on the bench. No use in going back to sleep now.

He glanced down at the phone that lay beside him...

-the next morning-

"Doctor?" Amy and Rory entered the room, arms linked. "We're ready to - hey, what're you doin' with my phone?"

"Flappy Bird, shh," the Doctor muttered before glancing upwards sharply. "Uh, sorry, did I say Flappy Bird? I - I - I meant, uh... Research."

"Research." Rory echoed. "What kind of research?"

"Oh, you know." the Doctor waved him away and focused his attention back on the cellphone. "Exploding galaxies, giant chickens, boring stuff."

"Mhm." Amy snatched her device out the unexpecting Timelord's hands. "Were you playing this all night?!"

"Um... Maybe. Yes. No. I dunno. Were you playing this all night?"

She shook her head, laughing. "You need to get some better comebacks. And no more Flappy for you, okay? I didn't run away with an alien for any old reason, I wanna see somethin' amazing."

The Doctor stood up and ran to the console, pulling levers here and there.

"Yes, fine," he agreed. "Stupid game, anyway."

No one noticed as he pulled the T.A.R.D.I.S. monitor near and clicked "install Flappy Bird".


To all readers - this may save your life: DO NOT DOWNLOAD FLAPPY BIRD. Once you've started, you will never stop playing.

- Impossible Oswin