A/N: This is a companion piece to 'A Father's Journal'. My take on Lindsay's time and feelings about her new born and beautiful daughter, Lucy Messer. Hope you guys enjoy this!
Timeline: Set after the birth of Lucy Messer in 'Greater Good'.
My beautiful baby girl, Lucy Messer,
As I watched your father leave my hospital room to go check on you, I can't help but let the tears of total happiness fall freely down my face. Baby girl, today was the hardest, happiest and scariest day of my life.
Hardest because when they say that giving birth is no easy feat, they're stating the biggest understatement in the world. Happiest because you're finally in this world, safe and sound, and I can finally hold you while your father wraps his arms around me and we admire how the two of us could have produced something as beautiful and special as you. Scariest because there's always going to be this fear, Lucy, that I am going to be an awful mother and that someone as special as you, deserves a mother way better than me. But there is no way in the world am I letting another woman be your mother, baby girl, because I love way too much to let you go.
Being a CSI isn't exactly a safe job, Lucy. And it is because of that that I have a higher risk of not coming home than other mothers. It is because of this fear that I am writing you this diary. I think your father was thinking of making one for you but I haven't actually seen him do it. I think he just wants it to be between the two of you. Well, baby girl, his man journal will be between the two of you but my diary will be between the two of us, okay?
Your Daddy and I had a tough time finding a proper name for you. Your Daddy wanted to name you 'Lucy' but I wanted to name you 'Lydia'. But when I had a talk with your Papa Mac and your Auntie Stella, I realized that 'Lucy' would be a better name for you. You want to know why, baby girl?
Because your Papa Mac and Auntie Stella told me that the name 'Lucy' means light and that is exactly what you are to me and your Daddy, baby girl. You are our light. Your father and I were going through a trying time in our relationship before we had you, Luce, everything between us was dark. It's because of those times that I feared telling your father about you.
But I feared for nothing, Lucy. Your father loved you the moment he saw that sonogram of you. I remember my heart beating so fast that I thought it'd pump out of my chest when I saw that small smile on his face when he saw you. Your Daddy loves you lots, baby girl. Always did and always will.
And so will I, Lucy. Like I said previously, I might not be a good enough mother for you, baby, I want to promise you that I will try my best to be the mother you deserve to have. I will always love and care for you and your Daddy and you always come first in my life. I love you and your Daddy so much, Lucy. And I know you love me too.
Earlier today, Uncle Don, Uncle Adam, Uncle Sheldon, Papa Mac and Auntie Stella came down to meet you and they fell head over heels in love with you, Lucy. These are other people in your life you can always count on, Lucy, after me and your Daddy, should anything befall on us.
I love you, Baby Messer.
Loving you always,
Your Mother,
Lindsay Messer
P.S. Your Daddy was just joking about you not being able to date until you're forty when he was talking with your Uncles. Well, at least I think he is. But if he isn't, I got your back, Lucy. Always.
A/N: Please review and tell me what you think!
