Wondering
Disclaimer: If I owned evangelion, I wouldn't be writing this on fanfic. I'd be writing this and you'd be seeing it on TV. Or DVD. You choose. But
whatever, please enjoy, oh and uh, REVIEW!!!!!
A/N: Oh and MIND YOU this is my very first (and extremely stupid)
Evangelion story. Please don't flame me. I'm just starting to watch the series, I don't completely understand it yet. So PLEASE make happy reviews
and don't bash me.
Here's a key for ya: Thoughts
~*~*~* Passing of time
Dreams or Flashbacks Various sounds (like the school bell. Be creative here ppl) Oh yeah, and Touji's little sis, is from now on Maiko. And let's just say that Hikari's older sis is Narika. I'm adding names, being create w/e.
Got it? Ok. Let's go!!!
Touji's Pov
~*~*~*
Fridays. Gotta love 'em. Last day of school for the week. Just the sound makes me happy. No School. And NO Hikari. Not only is she the one who keeps a constant eye on me to make sure I'm not in trouble, but she's the one who keeps a constant eye on me to make sure I'm not in trouble AND is practically in love with me. Either she's really bad at cooking, and she really likes me, or she has a reason to poison me with the food she gives me.
I sat picking at my food when Kensuke put his head in my face. "EARTH TO TOUJI!!!!!!!" "Dude, get out of my face," I pushed his head out of the way. "Are you going to eat that?" He pointed to the food (if you could call it that) Hikari had given me that day. "Ha! Like you'd want to. It's probably lethal." I laughed. Irony sucks. Right when I said it, Hikari walked by. She gave me a look of disgust and walked away towards Asuka. "Oh well, I'm still hungry." Kensuke said digging into it. "Hey, lemme try," Shinji said, totally out of his nature. I gave him a look. "You too?" Shinji shrugged. "Why not? At least you've got a girl who like's you so much that she makes you food. Even if it's 99.9 % LCL fluid."
I watched their expressions turn to disgust as they chewed and reluctantly swallowed. Shinji's face turned pale green and he said, "Ugh, I don't know what's worse, Hikari's cooking, or Misato's." Everyone around us started to laugh. A few weeks ago, Misato baked brownies for the class as a surprise. Yea, it was a real big surprise that everyone got sick. "See, I told you it's lethal." I smirked. "Hey, Touji, do ya wanna have a bike race after school? Some of the other guys wanted to," Kensuke said. I thought. "Sure, why not. Where does it end?" "Well, it would probably start here and end at my place," Shinji said. "Ok. I'll meet you guys straight after school."
The day trailed slowly on, but finally, it reached 3:00 and I ran straight out of the classroom. "Touji!" Hikari was following me, but the guys were waiting for me. "Sorry class rep, don't have time," I said, almost irritably. "Fine." She scoffed and turned around. This apparently meant that she didn't need to talk about anything school related, or she would have really gotten mad. Good. I got rid of her. When I got outside, everyone was waiting for me. "What took you so long?" Shinji asked. "Oh, the class rep wanted to talk to me." I replied. "And?" Kensuke. " I told her to bug off, and that I didn't have time," I said, but by the looks from the others, I said the wrong thing. "Touji, you don't say that to a girl!" Shinji said warningly. "How'd you know?" Kensuke commented. "Because," Shinji continued, "Asuka's slapped me way to many times."
"Okay, let's go already!" I said, with my bike ready. We got in a giant line, all 12 of us or so. Then, Kensuke yelled, "Ready, set.GO!" I kicked off the ground and pedaled hard. I feel bad for my friends. They're all so slow. I easily took the lead without breaking into a sweat. Misato's apartment was no more than half a mile away from school. After a few minutes of biking, with the rest way behind me, I could see the apartments. "Almost there," I grinned. Suddenly a figure popped out in front of from the side road. It was too late to stop. We collided with a large crash. I had landed on the curb, and luckily wasn't hurt. I turned to see who, or what it was that I hit. It was Hikari!
"Ohh, my leg," She whimpered. I looked down at it. Part of my bike had made a long, wide gash along her leg from her knee to her upper thigh (or as far as I could see). It was bleeding.and fast. "Hikari.I'm SO sorry." I said crawling over to where she lay. She was wincing in pain, but she did not cry. "I'm fine." She said, gritting her teeth. "Hikari, you're not fine. Look at your leg." I took off my shirt and wrapped it her wound. I was surprised that she didn't giggle, stare, or even look at me at all. She just continued to look down at her badly scraped hands. "Thanks," She mumbled. "No problem," I said, zipping up my jacket.
By now everyone had caught up to us. "Touji, what'd you do?" Shinji asked. "It was just a little accident," I said. "Just an accident, Touji, you ran over the class rep!" Kensuke said. "I did not," I said defensively. "It was an accident really," Hikari said weakly, trying as hard as she could to smile. "Can you walk?" Shinji asked her. She nodded and tried to stand up. But she fell right back down. "Okay, guess that's a no. We'll have to carry you," I said. "Carry me?" She repeated doubtfully. "Any other ideas?" Kensuke said flatly. "Okay," she said uncertainly.
~*~*~*~*~*
Getting Hikari to Misato's was no easy task. About halfway there, she passed out and her body got heavier. When we finally got her there, Asuka greeted us. Well actually, greeted wouldn't be the word. More like scolded. "Shinji Ikari, you better not have brought all your-" She stopped mid-sentence when she saw Hikari's body. "What did you bakas do to my best friend?!" She smacked the back of mine, Shinji's, and Kensuke's heads. "Where's Misato?" Shinji asked. "In her bedroom with her laptop." Asuka replied, making Hikari comfortable on the couch. Shinji ran to get Misato. I stood uncomfortably by the door. "Oh my god, what happened?" Misato had just come in, and looked from me, to Kensuke, to Asuka. "We were having a bike race and Hikari got caught in the crossfire," Shinji mumbled. Misato went to the kitchen to get a cold washcloth. Asuka went to the phone and started to dial Mr. and Mrs. Horaki's number.
Misato dabbed Hikari's forehead for a few moments until she slowly came to. "Wha..Where am I?" She stuttered, her breathing heavy. "Shh, it's okay Hikari. It's me Misato. You're at my apartment with Shinji and Asuka. You're going to be fine." "They'll be here in a few minutes to pick Hikari up," Asuka said hanging up the phone. "What about my leg? Is it okay?" She looked panic struck. "Yes, it'll be fine. Although, it'll leave quite a scab," Misato said sweetly. Hikari met my eyes for a moment but then looked away. She had remembered that this was my fault. That I had done this to her.
Her parents came within a few minutes. Everyone went outside to see Hikari off, but I stayed planted on the couch. Shinji came back inside after she had left. "Hey, why weren't you out there?" he asked plopping down on the couch next to me. "Well, if the girl who had a crush on you was hurt in an accident and everyone blamed you, I bet you'd be a coward too," I smirked. Shinji looked as if he was deep in thought, but then smiled back. "Yea, I suppose so."
I was surprised I could shut out the whole thought of the accident out of my mind for the rest of the weekend. I spent most of it with my little sister Maiko, who was still in the hospital. Her progress was slowly getting better, but not by much. If only the hospital systems were better. When I reached school on Monday, I expected the same thing to happen. That Hikari would yell at everyone in her 'class rep' voice to shut up and sit down. But she wasn't there. I kept expecting to see her run through the door at any minute, apologizing for being late. But of course, she never came. I heard my name whispered in many conversations. Whenever they saw me looking, they of course would stop. But I know it didn't stop them from thinking it.
Hikari wasn't at school the next day either. Or the day after that. On Friday, it had been a week, and still no Hikari. Now I started to worry. Worry that I had done something permanent, and something that would leave much more than a physical scar. RING! The school week once again lost it's battle to the weekend as all the kids piled out of the classroom. The familiar feeling of excitement and energy rushed through me as I headed for the door.
"Wait a moment, Suzuhara." I stopped and turned around. "Yes?" The teacher handed me a pile of papers. "Please take these papers to Miss Horaki." "Well, I, uh, sure, I guess." I took them and walked out. This was so stupid. Not only had word gotten around our class, but practically the whole school knew. People were now saying that I intentionally ran over the class rep with my bike. I ignored them all. Or tried to, at least. Don't get me wrong, I've been a bully, but running over our school's authorities wasn't on my to-do list.
I'd never been to Hikari's house before. She had some sort of meeting there once, but knowing me, I didn't go. Her apartment was way on the other side of town, so I had a lot of walking to do. I kept hoping every second that I'd meet up with Kensuke or Shinji, but it never happened. I would have to face this alone. When I finally reached the apartment, I was about ready to start running in the other direction. No, you caused this mess, and you're going to help fix it. I hesitantly pushed the doorbell. There was a split second when I thought nobody was home, but then Hikari answered the door.
She looked, well, different. MUCH different than I had seen her at school. Her hair, which was usually in bouncy pigtails, was down and reached her shoulders. She looked tired, and a little pale. She seemed to be in her pajamas. "Suzuhara, what are you doing here?" she tried to put on one of her regular cute girly smiles, and pretend she felt fine. But I knew she didn't. "The teacher gave me your homework and told me to give it to you," I handed her the papers. "Thanks," She smiled again. It felt very awkward in the dead silence. "So, uh, how's your leg doing?" I asked. She opened the door wider to show me. Her leg was wrapped tightly in bandages and she was leaning on crutches. Her 'smile' faded and an upset look to its place. "I didn't mean to upset you," I said, totally unaware that I had just made things worse. She didn't respond for a moment. She once again, started down at her bandaged leg. Then she said icily, "Good day Mr. Suzuhara." And slammed the door.
Good job, Touji. Way to let her know you feel bad about being such an idiot. Make an even bigger idiot of yourself. I stood waiting, almost wishing that she'd open the door again. But she didn't. On the way back I met up with Kensuke. "Touji, where have you been?" he asked running towards me, camera in hand. "I had to give the class rep her homework," I said. "Well?" he asked. "Well what?" I said irritably. It was really getting on my nerves that he was always asking about what Hikari talked to me about. "What she say?" he asked persistently. "She slammed the door in my face." I said flatly. "Oh. Ouch." He grinned. "It's not funny. She's really pissed at me, Kensuke." He looked confused. "Oh it's not that big of a deal, why would she be?" I shook my head. "You just don't get it. I hurt her. Whenever I'm near her, she won't even look at me." I felt the tips of my ears go red.
"I think you should apologize. Well again, anyways." I turned to see a grinning Shinji behind us. "Shinji!" I yanked his shirt collar and brought his face eye to eye with mine. "Don't ever do that again," I said raising a 'fist'. He flinched, but I let go and laughed. "Ikari, we've been friends since I beat you up and you're still scared of me." Kensuke snickered. "Scared? More like mortally afraid. He almost wet himself!" Shinji straitened his shirt and said, "Okay fine. Then we'll skip visiting our dear Misato this afternoon and do something else." Kensuke was now the one about to wet his pants.
When we got there (which we eventually did after the constant pleading of Kensuke) Misato was drunk and Asuka was on the phone. No surprise there. Suddenly Asuka took the receiver from her ear and said, "Hey Touji, Hikari says you're a baka." I felt my temper flare. "Oh really." Asuka's eyes narrowed as she said in barely more than a whisper, "Really." I marched over to her and wrenched the phone from her hand. Even without putting the receiver to my ear, I could hear Hikari yelling, "ASUKA LANGLY SHORYU! YOU TELL HIM I DIDN'T SAY THAT OR ELSE I'LL HANG UP! I MEAN IT! ASUKA!!!" "Touji, give me back the phone!" Asuka shrieked. "Make me," I dared, holding the phone out of her reach. Then she did it. She actually kicked me. You know in my uh, yeah. "Serves you right." She smiled and grabbed the phone. What a Bitch. "So as I was saying," She went on. "Ouch." Shinji said sympathetically. Kensuke nodded. "She kicks harder than she slaps." Was all I could manage.
We all ended up sleeping over. Asuka wasn't happy. "If they get to sleepover, why can't Hikari?" she pouted. "Asuka. She's healing, you know she can't risk coming to sleepover. She needs her bed and lots of rest. I'm sorry." Misato said, now putting an ice pack on her head from her hangover. Asuka made a face. "Not fair! You just like the third child better! Kaji-sama would have let me!" she stormed into her bedroom and slammed the door. "Yea, well knowing Kaji, he'd let you do almost anything." We slept on the living room floor. And needless to say, we stayed late into the night playing video games, talking and laughing. Then, around 12:30, Asuka came in to yell at us. It wasn't a pretty sight.
"Will you guys shut up?! I need my beauty sleep!" She walked away. "Err.right, beauty sleep." I laughed. Asuka apparently wasn't a pretty sight at 12:30. Not as if she was gorgeous before, but it looked like the ugly fairy kissed her on both cheeks. After that unpleasant experience, we all went to bed. Well, except for me. I tried but I couldn't. There were too many things on my mind. There was a park down at the corner of the apartment complex. Being careful not to wake anyone up, I stepped over the empty pop cans, pizza boxes and other various objects. I quietly tiptoed down the hallway and eventually got outside.
The night air was crisp and cold, and it was clear that autumn had now settled in to stay. I watched my breath make a cloud of smoke as I hugged my wind jacket closer. The full moon lit up the night sky and left the park with a magical glow. It was hard to think that at any moment, it could be gone. Another Angel could come and take it all away. When I got past the shaded trees into the open part of the playground, I realized I wasn't alone. There was someone standing in the open moonlight. Even from a distance, I knew who it was.
"Hey, what's a person like you doing out here at a time like this?" I asked. She turned her face glowing in the moon. "I could ask you the same, Suzuhara." I smiled slightly at Hikari, but she didn't smile back. She was dressed differently. She was wearing not her pajamas anymore, but a simple dress. Her hair was still down. "Couldn't sleep." I said simply. "You?" She didn't answer. "I like to take walks." She suddenly said. "On moonlit nights like these. But since I can't really walk now." She fell silent. Many feelings coursed through my body like poison. Anger, hate, anxiety.and something else. A very small, warm feeling, like a glowing ember. I knew what it was, but I wasn't about to admit it.
There was silence, until, "You know I didn't call you that today on the phone right?" I nodded. "I know. I figured it was a lie. You're not the kind of person to say something like that, and Asuka's the kind of person to make it up." I hit a nerve. "Well, at least Asuka knows how to comfort a person in pain!" So had she. "You know, you really frustrate me. I can read between the lines, but I'm a little confused by the text. By my observation, you like me. Like me enough to make me food everyday. But then, I make a mistake. An accident and you give me the cold shoulder. Just when I recognize your feelings, they aren't there anymore." I said, heart thumping against my ribcage.
"Well, I've been doing a little reading of my own. I thought that beneath that bull headed, annoying, egocentric, tough exterior, there was something else. Something kinder. I've seen that Touji. He's the one at the hospital comforting his poor little sister. But now I see that's it's no more then an act. The real you had to go and make a huge mess of things and leave me with nothing but scars and a poor excuse for an apology!" She spat. So that's it then? A poor excuse for an apology? What do you want me to do?" "Well at least something that didn't leave me wondering! Something that would let me know you cared enough to notice me!" She answered.
" I do notice you, I notice you everyday!" She gave me an odd look. My ears went red, and probably could be seen in the pale moonlight. "That came out the wrong way," I mumbled. She went to leave. "Will you answer one question of mine?" She paused, and nodded. "Why didn't you cry when.when you got hurt?" I had to word this carefully. "Because I don't cry," she said softly. "Well, why not?" I asked, walking closer. "Because, I refuse to. Especially in front of you." Her eyes met mine. "But you're crying now." I said simply.
Her eyes were glossy, but there were no tears. "Wrong Suzuhara." She started to walk away, slowly limping. "You can't run away from me, Horaki." I called. She stopped and turned her head towards me. "You're right, I can't." She continued to walk away. I stared for a moment, admiring her strength. "Hikari.wait!" I ran after her. "Please, don't leave." She was walking faster than me. She suddenly stopped. She turned, and now her eyes were filled with tears. She walked slowly closer to me, breathing slowly, as if trying not to cry. Now we were only arms length apart.
We stood in silence for a moment, then "This is all your fault!" She cried, tears starting to stream down her face. She tried to leave, but I grabbed her arm. She fought, but couldn't win. "I tried Touji. I really did. I'm still trying." "Trying what?" I asked, confused at everything she was saying. " Not to.to love you anymore," She sputtered, the tears still flowing down her face. She forced herself to look me in the face. Her deep brown eyes penetrated my skin.inside my soul. Minutes passed. I just gazed back into hers. I couldn't take this awkward silence any longer. I turned and started to walk away.
"Where are you going?" She suddenly had her class representative attitude present. "I'm going to sit on the swings. If you wanna come, them come." I smiled slightly. I could hear her footsteps slowly following. My smile now became a grin. She had followed me; she wasn't resisting. I sat down on a swing, and Hikari sat down beside me. She was no longer crying, but her cheeks were slightly pink.
The moon, which had hidden behind the clouds for a while, was now sending its light upon us. "Ya know, there isn't anyone I'd rather be here with?" I said. She looked over at me. "Really?" I nodded. "Course. You think it'd be much fun with Shinji or Kensuke? Nah." She smiled at me. It was a real one, one I had never quite seen before. "Touji..." She mumbled. "Yeah?" She looked at me with pained eyes. "I'm sorry. None of this was your fault. I'm sorry for everything. For yelling at you, for slamming the door in your face. I.I just thought that you were sorry because you had to be." I shook my head. "No, that's not it at all. You know I'd never hurt you purposely. I consider you my friend. Asuka on the other hand." She giggled. I was glad she knew I was joking.
"You know Touji," she said thoughtfully, " I think I was right all along. There is another person beneath all that. I'm talking to him now." I grinned at her. "Yeah?" I asked, leaning towards her. She grinned back. "Yeah." She also leaned, so were close enough to know there no turning back. As the remaining space between us grew smaller and smaller, I knew that this was something I had secretly been dreaming of. When I drew away, I wasn't the same person as before. My whole body tingled with warmth. That small ember had burst into a blazing fire inside me.
Hikari's cheeks turned deep pink. I could feel my face flushing as well. No words were said; they didn't need to be. We both sat there on the swings unable to look at each other. Then, Hikari started laughing. "What?" I asked. I hoped she wasn't laughing at me. "My sister Narika said that I'd probably see you tonight. I didn't believe her." I laughed. "Yeah, Shinji said I should apologize.again." "Well, it's a good thing we didn't listen. Who knows what could have happen if we both weren't so stubborn." She grinned, and I grinned back. It was nice to know I didn't have to pretend to be tough around Hikari anymore. Or apologize repeatedly, get yelled at or get the door slammed in my face. I was especially glad Asuka wouldn't kick me just cuz she felt like it.
We talked for a while longer. It was amazing how I could say almost anything to her. You wouldn't expect the class rep, a person who follows every order she receives, to have so many opinions.about everything. "I never really knew that there were so many things you knew about," I said, making myself sound like a complete idiot. She shrugged. "Well, a girl's gotta get into something. I just happen to like a lot of things nobody'd expect I'd like." She smiled again, her cheerful face glowing in the moon. " I feel like such a loser," I said. She looked at me in confusion. "I never took the time to even find any of that out. I didn't even bother." I looked down at my feet. She got down on her knees and looked at me.
"Touji, none of that matters. Are you kidding me? That's what times like this are for." She smiled at me, eyes gleaming. How could she always keep that smile on her face? Did I really make her that happy? How could she be so caring.so loving and forgiving? I could never understand. She got back on the swing and slowly moved back and forth. She soon yawned and asked, "What time is it?" I checked my watch. " 1:45," I answered. "Oh. I should probably go. My sister's covering for me, but I don't want my family to worry." I nodded, watching her slowly walk away from me. "Hey," I called. "Will you at school on Monday?" She nodded. "My doctor said I'll be fine." I smiled. "Good. Cuz, uh, well.I was wondering if you'd go visit Maiko with me on Tuesday?" She smiled. "I'd love to." I breathed a sigh of relief.
"Ok then, see ya on Monday," she smiled. "Yea." As she grew smaller and smaller in the distance I realized something: I needed her. I needed her as much as the very air I breathe. She had shown me so many things. About her.and about myself. I briskly walked back to the apartment, dazed from what I had just gone through. I was still tingling from that kiss. When I got inside, nobody was awake. That was good. Otherwise, I'd have a lot of explaining to do. I lay back down next to Shinji and Kensuke. He was muttering '45 caliber' in his sleep again.
I smiled slightly, looking down on my friends. The best one's in the world. They had known from the beginning, I was sure of it now. They'd realized me feelings before I did. They probably knew exactly how Hikari was going to react too. Hikari. My girl. I sighed. She said yes; she wanted to come see Maiko with me. I knew that Hikari was old fashioned, and that I'd probably have to wait for her to warm up to the whole dating game. But that was okay with me. I'm happy wondering.
Disclaimer: If I owned evangelion, I wouldn't be writing this on fanfic. I'd be writing this and you'd be seeing it on TV. Or DVD. You choose. But
whatever, please enjoy, oh and uh, REVIEW!!!!!
A/N: Oh and MIND YOU this is my very first (and extremely stupid)
Evangelion story. Please don't flame me. I'm just starting to watch the series, I don't completely understand it yet. So PLEASE make happy reviews
and don't bash me.
Here's a key for ya: Thoughts
~*~*~* Passing of time
Dreams or Flashbacks Various sounds (like the school bell. Be creative here ppl) Oh yeah, and Touji's little sis, is from now on Maiko. And let's just say that Hikari's older sis is Narika. I'm adding names, being create w/e.
Got it? Ok. Let's go!!!
Touji's Pov
~*~*~*
Fridays. Gotta love 'em. Last day of school for the week. Just the sound makes me happy. No School. And NO Hikari. Not only is she the one who keeps a constant eye on me to make sure I'm not in trouble, but she's the one who keeps a constant eye on me to make sure I'm not in trouble AND is practically in love with me. Either she's really bad at cooking, and she really likes me, or she has a reason to poison me with the food she gives me.
I sat picking at my food when Kensuke put his head in my face. "EARTH TO TOUJI!!!!!!!" "Dude, get out of my face," I pushed his head out of the way. "Are you going to eat that?" He pointed to the food (if you could call it that) Hikari had given me that day. "Ha! Like you'd want to. It's probably lethal." I laughed. Irony sucks. Right when I said it, Hikari walked by. She gave me a look of disgust and walked away towards Asuka. "Oh well, I'm still hungry." Kensuke said digging into it. "Hey, lemme try," Shinji said, totally out of his nature. I gave him a look. "You too?" Shinji shrugged. "Why not? At least you've got a girl who like's you so much that she makes you food. Even if it's 99.9 % LCL fluid."
I watched their expressions turn to disgust as they chewed and reluctantly swallowed. Shinji's face turned pale green and he said, "Ugh, I don't know what's worse, Hikari's cooking, or Misato's." Everyone around us started to laugh. A few weeks ago, Misato baked brownies for the class as a surprise. Yea, it was a real big surprise that everyone got sick. "See, I told you it's lethal." I smirked. "Hey, Touji, do ya wanna have a bike race after school? Some of the other guys wanted to," Kensuke said. I thought. "Sure, why not. Where does it end?" "Well, it would probably start here and end at my place," Shinji said. "Ok. I'll meet you guys straight after school."
The day trailed slowly on, but finally, it reached 3:00 and I ran straight out of the classroom. "Touji!" Hikari was following me, but the guys were waiting for me. "Sorry class rep, don't have time," I said, almost irritably. "Fine." She scoffed and turned around. This apparently meant that she didn't need to talk about anything school related, or she would have really gotten mad. Good. I got rid of her. When I got outside, everyone was waiting for me. "What took you so long?" Shinji asked. "Oh, the class rep wanted to talk to me." I replied. "And?" Kensuke. " I told her to bug off, and that I didn't have time," I said, but by the looks from the others, I said the wrong thing. "Touji, you don't say that to a girl!" Shinji said warningly. "How'd you know?" Kensuke commented. "Because," Shinji continued, "Asuka's slapped me way to many times."
"Okay, let's go already!" I said, with my bike ready. We got in a giant line, all 12 of us or so. Then, Kensuke yelled, "Ready, set.GO!" I kicked off the ground and pedaled hard. I feel bad for my friends. They're all so slow. I easily took the lead without breaking into a sweat. Misato's apartment was no more than half a mile away from school. After a few minutes of biking, with the rest way behind me, I could see the apartments. "Almost there," I grinned. Suddenly a figure popped out in front of from the side road. It was too late to stop. We collided with a large crash. I had landed on the curb, and luckily wasn't hurt. I turned to see who, or what it was that I hit. It was Hikari!
"Ohh, my leg," She whimpered. I looked down at it. Part of my bike had made a long, wide gash along her leg from her knee to her upper thigh (or as far as I could see). It was bleeding.and fast. "Hikari.I'm SO sorry." I said crawling over to where she lay. She was wincing in pain, but she did not cry. "I'm fine." She said, gritting her teeth. "Hikari, you're not fine. Look at your leg." I took off my shirt and wrapped it her wound. I was surprised that she didn't giggle, stare, or even look at me at all. She just continued to look down at her badly scraped hands. "Thanks," She mumbled. "No problem," I said, zipping up my jacket.
By now everyone had caught up to us. "Touji, what'd you do?" Shinji asked. "It was just a little accident," I said. "Just an accident, Touji, you ran over the class rep!" Kensuke said. "I did not," I said defensively. "It was an accident really," Hikari said weakly, trying as hard as she could to smile. "Can you walk?" Shinji asked her. She nodded and tried to stand up. But she fell right back down. "Okay, guess that's a no. We'll have to carry you," I said. "Carry me?" She repeated doubtfully. "Any other ideas?" Kensuke said flatly. "Okay," she said uncertainly.
~*~*~*~*~*
Getting Hikari to Misato's was no easy task. About halfway there, she passed out and her body got heavier. When we finally got her there, Asuka greeted us. Well actually, greeted wouldn't be the word. More like scolded. "Shinji Ikari, you better not have brought all your-" She stopped mid-sentence when she saw Hikari's body. "What did you bakas do to my best friend?!" She smacked the back of mine, Shinji's, and Kensuke's heads. "Where's Misato?" Shinji asked. "In her bedroom with her laptop." Asuka replied, making Hikari comfortable on the couch. Shinji ran to get Misato. I stood uncomfortably by the door. "Oh my god, what happened?" Misato had just come in, and looked from me, to Kensuke, to Asuka. "We were having a bike race and Hikari got caught in the crossfire," Shinji mumbled. Misato went to the kitchen to get a cold washcloth. Asuka went to the phone and started to dial Mr. and Mrs. Horaki's number.
Misato dabbed Hikari's forehead for a few moments until she slowly came to. "Wha..Where am I?" She stuttered, her breathing heavy. "Shh, it's okay Hikari. It's me Misato. You're at my apartment with Shinji and Asuka. You're going to be fine." "They'll be here in a few minutes to pick Hikari up," Asuka said hanging up the phone. "What about my leg? Is it okay?" She looked panic struck. "Yes, it'll be fine. Although, it'll leave quite a scab," Misato said sweetly. Hikari met my eyes for a moment but then looked away. She had remembered that this was my fault. That I had done this to her.
Her parents came within a few minutes. Everyone went outside to see Hikari off, but I stayed planted on the couch. Shinji came back inside after she had left. "Hey, why weren't you out there?" he asked plopping down on the couch next to me. "Well, if the girl who had a crush on you was hurt in an accident and everyone blamed you, I bet you'd be a coward too," I smirked. Shinji looked as if he was deep in thought, but then smiled back. "Yea, I suppose so."
I was surprised I could shut out the whole thought of the accident out of my mind for the rest of the weekend. I spent most of it with my little sister Maiko, who was still in the hospital. Her progress was slowly getting better, but not by much. If only the hospital systems were better. When I reached school on Monday, I expected the same thing to happen. That Hikari would yell at everyone in her 'class rep' voice to shut up and sit down. But she wasn't there. I kept expecting to see her run through the door at any minute, apologizing for being late. But of course, she never came. I heard my name whispered in many conversations. Whenever they saw me looking, they of course would stop. But I know it didn't stop them from thinking it.
Hikari wasn't at school the next day either. Or the day after that. On Friday, it had been a week, and still no Hikari. Now I started to worry. Worry that I had done something permanent, and something that would leave much more than a physical scar. RING! The school week once again lost it's battle to the weekend as all the kids piled out of the classroom. The familiar feeling of excitement and energy rushed through me as I headed for the door.
"Wait a moment, Suzuhara." I stopped and turned around. "Yes?" The teacher handed me a pile of papers. "Please take these papers to Miss Horaki." "Well, I, uh, sure, I guess." I took them and walked out. This was so stupid. Not only had word gotten around our class, but practically the whole school knew. People were now saying that I intentionally ran over the class rep with my bike. I ignored them all. Or tried to, at least. Don't get me wrong, I've been a bully, but running over our school's authorities wasn't on my to-do list.
I'd never been to Hikari's house before. She had some sort of meeting there once, but knowing me, I didn't go. Her apartment was way on the other side of town, so I had a lot of walking to do. I kept hoping every second that I'd meet up with Kensuke or Shinji, but it never happened. I would have to face this alone. When I finally reached the apartment, I was about ready to start running in the other direction. No, you caused this mess, and you're going to help fix it. I hesitantly pushed the doorbell. There was a split second when I thought nobody was home, but then Hikari answered the door.
She looked, well, different. MUCH different than I had seen her at school. Her hair, which was usually in bouncy pigtails, was down and reached her shoulders. She looked tired, and a little pale. She seemed to be in her pajamas. "Suzuhara, what are you doing here?" she tried to put on one of her regular cute girly smiles, and pretend she felt fine. But I knew she didn't. "The teacher gave me your homework and told me to give it to you," I handed her the papers. "Thanks," She smiled again. It felt very awkward in the dead silence. "So, uh, how's your leg doing?" I asked. She opened the door wider to show me. Her leg was wrapped tightly in bandages and she was leaning on crutches. Her 'smile' faded and an upset look to its place. "I didn't mean to upset you," I said, totally unaware that I had just made things worse. She didn't respond for a moment. She once again, started down at her bandaged leg. Then she said icily, "Good day Mr. Suzuhara." And slammed the door.
Good job, Touji. Way to let her know you feel bad about being such an idiot. Make an even bigger idiot of yourself. I stood waiting, almost wishing that she'd open the door again. But she didn't. On the way back I met up with Kensuke. "Touji, where have you been?" he asked running towards me, camera in hand. "I had to give the class rep her homework," I said. "Well?" he asked. "Well what?" I said irritably. It was really getting on my nerves that he was always asking about what Hikari talked to me about. "What she say?" he asked persistently. "She slammed the door in my face." I said flatly. "Oh. Ouch." He grinned. "It's not funny. She's really pissed at me, Kensuke." He looked confused. "Oh it's not that big of a deal, why would she be?" I shook my head. "You just don't get it. I hurt her. Whenever I'm near her, she won't even look at me." I felt the tips of my ears go red.
"I think you should apologize. Well again, anyways." I turned to see a grinning Shinji behind us. "Shinji!" I yanked his shirt collar and brought his face eye to eye with mine. "Don't ever do that again," I said raising a 'fist'. He flinched, but I let go and laughed. "Ikari, we've been friends since I beat you up and you're still scared of me." Kensuke snickered. "Scared? More like mortally afraid. He almost wet himself!" Shinji straitened his shirt and said, "Okay fine. Then we'll skip visiting our dear Misato this afternoon and do something else." Kensuke was now the one about to wet his pants.
When we got there (which we eventually did after the constant pleading of Kensuke) Misato was drunk and Asuka was on the phone. No surprise there. Suddenly Asuka took the receiver from her ear and said, "Hey Touji, Hikari says you're a baka." I felt my temper flare. "Oh really." Asuka's eyes narrowed as she said in barely more than a whisper, "Really." I marched over to her and wrenched the phone from her hand. Even without putting the receiver to my ear, I could hear Hikari yelling, "ASUKA LANGLY SHORYU! YOU TELL HIM I DIDN'T SAY THAT OR ELSE I'LL HANG UP! I MEAN IT! ASUKA!!!" "Touji, give me back the phone!" Asuka shrieked. "Make me," I dared, holding the phone out of her reach. Then she did it. She actually kicked me. You know in my uh, yeah. "Serves you right." She smiled and grabbed the phone. What a Bitch. "So as I was saying," She went on. "Ouch." Shinji said sympathetically. Kensuke nodded. "She kicks harder than she slaps." Was all I could manage.
We all ended up sleeping over. Asuka wasn't happy. "If they get to sleepover, why can't Hikari?" she pouted. "Asuka. She's healing, you know she can't risk coming to sleepover. She needs her bed and lots of rest. I'm sorry." Misato said, now putting an ice pack on her head from her hangover. Asuka made a face. "Not fair! You just like the third child better! Kaji-sama would have let me!" she stormed into her bedroom and slammed the door. "Yea, well knowing Kaji, he'd let you do almost anything." We slept on the living room floor. And needless to say, we stayed late into the night playing video games, talking and laughing. Then, around 12:30, Asuka came in to yell at us. It wasn't a pretty sight.
"Will you guys shut up?! I need my beauty sleep!" She walked away. "Err.right, beauty sleep." I laughed. Asuka apparently wasn't a pretty sight at 12:30. Not as if she was gorgeous before, but it looked like the ugly fairy kissed her on both cheeks. After that unpleasant experience, we all went to bed. Well, except for me. I tried but I couldn't. There were too many things on my mind. There was a park down at the corner of the apartment complex. Being careful not to wake anyone up, I stepped over the empty pop cans, pizza boxes and other various objects. I quietly tiptoed down the hallway and eventually got outside.
The night air was crisp and cold, and it was clear that autumn had now settled in to stay. I watched my breath make a cloud of smoke as I hugged my wind jacket closer. The full moon lit up the night sky and left the park with a magical glow. It was hard to think that at any moment, it could be gone. Another Angel could come and take it all away. When I got past the shaded trees into the open part of the playground, I realized I wasn't alone. There was someone standing in the open moonlight. Even from a distance, I knew who it was.
"Hey, what's a person like you doing out here at a time like this?" I asked. She turned her face glowing in the moon. "I could ask you the same, Suzuhara." I smiled slightly at Hikari, but she didn't smile back. She was dressed differently. She was wearing not her pajamas anymore, but a simple dress. Her hair was still down. "Couldn't sleep." I said simply. "You?" She didn't answer. "I like to take walks." She suddenly said. "On moonlit nights like these. But since I can't really walk now." She fell silent. Many feelings coursed through my body like poison. Anger, hate, anxiety.and something else. A very small, warm feeling, like a glowing ember. I knew what it was, but I wasn't about to admit it.
There was silence, until, "You know I didn't call you that today on the phone right?" I nodded. "I know. I figured it was a lie. You're not the kind of person to say something like that, and Asuka's the kind of person to make it up." I hit a nerve. "Well, at least Asuka knows how to comfort a person in pain!" So had she. "You know, you really frustrate me. I can read between the lines, but I'm a little confused by the text. By my observation, you like me. Like me enough to make me food everyday. But then, I make a mistake. An accident and you give me the cold shoulder. Just when I recognize your feelings, they aren't there anymore." I said, heart thumping against my ribcage.
"Well, I've been doing a little reading of my own. I thought that beneath that bull headed, annoying, egocentric, tough exterior, there was something else. Something kinder. I've seen that Touji. He's the one at the hospital comforting his poor little sister. But now I see that's it's no more then an act. The real you had to go and make a huge mess of things and leave me with nothing but scars and a poor excuse for an apology!" She spat. So that's it then? A poor excuse for an apology? What do you want me to do?" "Well at least something that didn't leave me wondering! Something that would let me know you cared enough to notice me!" She answered.
" I do notice you, I notice you everyday!" She gave me an odd look. My ears went red, and probably could be seen in the pale moonlight. "That came out the wrong way," I mumbled. She went to leave. "Will you answer one question of mine?" She paused, and nodded. "Why didn't you cry when.when you got hurt?" I had to word this carefully. "Because I don't cry," she said softly. "Well, why not?" I asked, walking closer. "Because, I refuse to. Especially in front of you." Her eyes met mine. "But you're crying now." I said simply.
Her eyes were glossy, but there were no tears. "Wrong Suzuhara." She started to walk away, slowly limping. "You can't run away from me, Horaki." I called. She stopped and turned her head towards me. "You're right, I can't." She continued to walk away. I stared for a moment, admiring her strength. "Hikari.wait!" I ran after her. "Please, don't leave." She was walking faster than me. She suddenly stopped. She turned, and now her eyes were filled with tears. She walked slowly closer to me, breathing slowly, as if trying not to cry. Now we were only arms length apart.
We stood in silence for a moment, then "This is all your fault!" She cried, tears starting to stream down her face. She tried to leave, but I grabbed her arm. She fought, but couldn't win. "I tried Touji. I really did. I'm still trying." "Trying what?" I asked, confused at everything she was saying. " Not to.to love you anymore," She sputtered, the tears still flowing down her face. She forced herself to look me in the face. Her deep brown eyes penetrated my skin.inside my soul. Minutes passed. I just gazed back into hers. I couldn't take this awkward silence any longer. I turned and started to walk away.
"Where are you going?" She suddenly had her class representative attitude present. "I'm going to sit on the swings. If you wanna come, them come." I smiled slightly. I could hear her footsteps slowly following. My smile now became a grin. She had followed me; she wasn't resisting. I sat down on a swing, and Hikari sat down beside me. She was no longer crying, but her cheeks were slightly pink.
The moon, which had hidden behind the clouds for a while, was now sending its light upon us. "Ya know, there isn't anyone I'd rather be here with?" I said. She looked over at me. "Really?" I nodded. "Course. You think it'd be much fun with Shinji or Kensuke? Nah." She smiled at me. It was a real one, one I had never quite seen before. "Touji..." She mumbled. "Yeah?" She looked at me with pained eyes. "I'm sorry. None of this was your fault. I'm sorry for everything. For yelling at you, for slamming the door in your face. I.I just thought that you were sorry because you had to be." I shook my head. "No, that's not it at all. You know I'd never hurt you purposely. I consider you my friend. Asuka on the other hand." She giggled. I was glad she knew I was joking.
"You know Touji," she said thoughtfully, " I think I was right all along. There is another person beneath all that. I'm talking to him now." I grinned at her. "Yeah?" I asked, leaning towards her. She grinned back. "Yeah." She also leaned, so were close enough to know there no turning back. As the remaining space between us grew smaller and smaller, I knew that this was something I had secretly been dreaming of. When I drew away, I wasn't the same person as before. My whole body tingled with warmth. That small ember had burst into a blazing fire inside me.
Hikari's cheeks turned deep pink. I could feel my face flushing as well. No words were said; they didn't need to be. We both sat there on the swings unable to look at each other. Then, Hikari started laughing. "What?" I asked. I hoped she wasn't laughing at me. "My sister Narika said that I'd probably see you tonight. I didn't believe her." I laughed. "Yeah, Shinji said I should apologize.again." "Well, it's a good thing we didn't listen. Who knows what could have happen if we both weren't so stubborn." She grinned, and I grinned back. It was nice to know I didn't have to pretend to be tough around Hikari anymore. Or apologize repeatedly, get yelled at or get the door slammed in my face. I was especially glad Asuka wouldn't kick me just cuz she felt like it.
We talked for a while longer. It was amazing how I could say almost anything to her. You wouldn't expect the class rep, a person who follows every order she receives, to have so many opinions.about everything. "I never really knew that there were so many things you knew about," I said, making myself sound like a complete idiot. She shrugged. "Well, a girl's gotta get into something. I just happen to like a lot of things nobody'd expect I'd like." She smiled again, her cheerful face glowing in the moon. " I feel like such a loser," I said. She looked at me in confusion. "I never took the time to even find any of that out. I didn't even bother." I looked down at my feet. She got down on her knees and looked at me.
"Touji, none of that matters. Are you kidding me? That's what times like this are for." She smiled at me, eyes gleaming. How could she always keep that smile on her face? Did I really make her that happy? How could she be so caring.so loving and forgiving? I could never understand. She got back on the swing and slowly moved back and forth. She soon yawned and asked, "What time is it?" I checked my watch. " 1:45," I answered. "Oh. I should probably go. My sister's covering for me, but I don't want my family to worry." I nodded, watching her slowly walk away from me. "Hey," I called. "Will you at school on Monday?" She nodded. "My doctor said I'll be fine." I smiled. "Good. Cuz, uh, well.I was wondering if you'd go visit Maiko with me on Tuesday?" She smiled. "I'd love to." I breathed a sigh of relief.
"Ok then, see ya on Monday," she smiled. "Yea." As she grew smaller and smaller in the distance I realized something: I needed her. I needed her as much as the very air I breathe. She had shown me so many things. About her.and about myself. I briskly walked back to the apartment, dazed from what I had just gone through. I was still tingling from that kiss. When I got inside, nobody was awake. That was good. Otherwise, I'd have a lot of explaining to do. I lay back down next to Shinji and Kensuke. He was muttering '45 caliber' in his sleep again.
I smiled slightly, looking down on my friends. The best one's in the world. They had known from the beginning, I was sure of it now. They'd realized me feelings before I did. They probably knew exactly how Hikari was going to react too. Hikari. My girl. I sighed. She said yes; she wanted to come see Maiko with me. I knew that Hikari was old fashioned, and that I'd probably have to wait for her to warm up to the whole dating game. But that was okay with me. I'm happy wondering.
