What Is Forever

What is forever?

That term used to describe so many things- gone forever, going on forever. I will love you forever.

Is it what I want this moment to be, as I feast my eyes hungrily upon your beauty? With the crackling fire throwing reddish tints in your golden hair?

The time it took me to realize my heart is beating again? And for you?

Or is it the space between my silent teleporting behind you, my clasping my arms around you, the startled look on everybody's faces, my four whispered words, and your stammered, surprised, reply?

"I love you Filia."

The blush that spreads across your half-hidden face is delicious, and if possible, I would have swallowed it all in one go. Your voice is hesitant, than takes on a more confident manner as you find your composure again.

"Uh . I . uh . Xe- ."

Those beautiful crystal blue eyes are so shocked, and slowly forced back to your noncommittal stance that you always throw at me. Could what I see when I look into them be forever? I could be forever lost in them, I can be sure.

"Xellos, this is no time for fooling around!"

Is it just my imagination, or do I detect a note of . what would you call it . indecision in that statement? I place a finger under your chin and turn your face to look at me fully. My words are soft, and for once, perhaps sincere. Is it forever you take to think up a reasonable reply to my words?

"I'm not fooling around, Filia."

That delectable blush again. I want to take your face in my hands and kiss it, but I know that it would only make you angrier. Your eyes are confused, and I can see so much swirling around in their fathomless blue depths.

"Ah ." You look to the side, back at me, and then away again. Are my eyes, open as they are, too much for you?

"Stop playing, Xellos." You say softly, and you sound much more serious than the first time. "Mazoku can't love." You lower your eyes, and I not only see, but sense the tears threatening to spill over. Then- even softer. Your voice, quietly whispering. I'm sure I wasn't meant to hear what you say. "Don't get my hopes up."

I smile at this heartening comment and stand up straight. "So be it, Filia." I stoop again and plant a light kiss on your hair, unable to resist the temptation of those golden masses. "Forever will I love you." My voice cuts through the silence. "Forever you will hate me. What is better- to die or to continue?" Those eyes again! Looking up at me, startled, the tears gathering at the corners.

"Xellos?" A slight frown is on your face, while at the same time the attack comes. It comes towards me, unwavering, and even before it hits I know why.

Mazoku are forbidden to love.

Suddenly, half of me is gone, and even still, outside I look the same. Crumpling to my knees, I still manage to smile at you.

"It appears I don't actually have a chance in the matter." I force between gasps of air, as you fall to your own knees beside me and catch me as I fall to the ground.

"Xellos?" Your eyes are worried. Worried? Do you not hate me, my dear?

There is no attempt made to disguise the attacker, and the power signature is unmistakable. I felt it often, fighting in the Kouma War. Quick, sharp, blasts. Those that bore the kiss of her power and lived were but one, and he escaped but barely.

My Lord Beastmaster.

Xellos I am ashamed of you

"Xellos?"

Falling in love*with a Ryuuzoku*a Golden Ryuuzoku no less*you know the rules of Mazoku

"Xellos! Speak to me!"

I do not wish to destroy you*you have been loyal*but this is a fracturing of some of the most ancient laws*goodbye

"Xellos! Say something!"

I finally move my lips. "I love you Filia."

And finally, you believe me. Your eyes open wide. Even with your limited knowledge of Mazoku, you still know that love among Mazoku is forbidden. "Xellos ."

I shudder with pain for a moment as the attack's recurring waves wash over me. I have seen this a million times.

Funny that it is now used on me.

A drop of water falls on my face. Your tears have spilled over. "Xellos ." You turn your face to the heavens.

I feel more of me disintegrating. With the little strength that I have left, I reach up and caress your face gently.

"Filia ." My whisper, more a sigh, dies away on the wind, flowing softly to your ears before disappearing.

"Xellos!" Another tear hits my face, and I revel in the fact that you, such a beautiful, pure, Ryuuzoku, are weeping over me, an evil Mazoku. "Xellos, don't go!" Such pain in those blue depths! Don't cry over me, my Filia. I am not worthy of your tears. Not worthy of your pain, or your feelings. "You can't die!" You whisper. "You can't!"

"Why not?" I manage.

"Because ." Another tear. "I . I . love you." I shudder as the last wave completes its course, and slowly begin to fade, now only flickering at the edges. Somehow, though, you notice this barely noticeable disintegrating, and more tears spill over.

"Xellos?!" I am fading faster now. "Xellos!" Your voice is shrill with pain and sadness, a scream now. "Don't die! I love you! Please! ." And suddenly, as suddenly as I appeared in your life . I am gone. "Xellos!"

And as my soul wings away from my body, I suddenly realize that I do know what forever is. Now I do, and it is a meaning made only for me. I know .

That for eternity and forever, your golden heart is mine.

I love you Filia.















Lokogato: OH GOD!!! I KILLED XELLOS! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Filia: . you're sad? Xellos: Why wouldn't she be? Filia: Well, let's see . you've constantly annoyed her, kept secrets from her, insulted some of her most prized fanfics, nearly murdered her occasionally, mauled some of her posters that she has plastered over her plane, insulted her just for the sake of insulting her . but other than that, she has no reason to kill you. Xellos: Exactly.