I'm not sure exactly what inspired this story. I guess its kind of a Miley-support story in a way. Also, in a way, I think its my response to all the stories (some of which I have loved mind you) that portray Miley becoming "another Hollywood brat" or some such other typical prediction.
*****
All I ever wanted to do was sing. But I don't know… I guess I started too young. I was afraid to change my life too much, afraid to loose myself. So I created Hannah.
The thing is, it didn't work. How could it? You can't go from living on a ranch to being proclaimed the biggest celebrity in the world without changing. It's just not possible. But I mean, that's normal right? People grow, evolve, and become new people. It's natural.
Except when you're in denial about it.
Hannah started out as a wig and an act, while I remained Miley Stewart from Tennessee. But even though I'm only now admitting it, even to myself, Hannah became the real me and Miley the act years ago.
Hannah got her license first. Hannah crashed Lilly's party. And all the hijinks I've gotten into… Miley Ray would never have done them.
It would have been okay, if I was just honest with myself. Like I said, people are supposed to change. We're supposed to grow up.
And when you do that, but keep lying about it to yourself and everyone else, it just becomes a burden. Eventually, the stress got to be too much. I just got so tired of all the secrets and deceptions.
So, about six months ago, I got rid of them.
First, the Hannah… no, the Miley secret, had to go. So I didn't go back to school for Junior year. I took the exit exam, and earned my diploma. It's really not a hard test. I got my name changed, legally. I stopped wearing a wig and started dyeing and straightening my hair. A bit more effort, but worth it to finally really be myself.
The next step was harder. Dad wasn't sure about me getting emancipated. But eventually I convinced him because, against all odds, he's come to trust me to make responsible decisions. So it was mutual, and things went fairly smoothly. I moved out, and started touring like there was no tomorrow. I've never been more successful, or felt more free.
I miss my dad sometimes, and Lilly and Oliver, even Jackson. But only when I think about it, when its quiet and I'm not busy. That doesn't happen very often. I'm Hannah Montana. I'm always doing something, and when I am I'm thrilled and it's all that matters. Miley would have felt guilty about that, but I don't. They're all living their lives, and doing so successfully. I know, they still send E-mails.
Without Miley and all the guilt I associated with that identity, there's nothing to hold me back. And I guess that's what's brought me to this moment, a week after my seventeenth birthday party. But it's okay, because I'm confident. I know I can handle it, and I know I can deal with the consequences, whatever they are.
So I step out of the tour van. The lights flash, the reporters practically crawl over each other, thrusting cameras and microphones towards me. I smile, and it's genuine and sincere.
"Hannah! Hannah! What do you have to say for yourself?"
"You can't deny it; the video from the bar shows everything!"
They all ask the same, tired questions. Make the same tired accusations. Because they're all still living a lie, not being true to themselves, and not admitting who and what I am. Its time I set them straight. I hold up my hands, and silence falls instantly. Wow… I roll my eyes behind my dark sunglasses that I always wear at such times, even though its night.
"I'm not trying to deny anything. Yeah, I was drunk. Hell, I was smashed and I made a fool of myself. But you know what? I had fun doing it."
They clamor again, pretending like they're shocked. Acting their parts out.
"Miss Montana, what about your critics? Your reviews?"
I laugh out loud at that, and answer jovially.
"Reviews? For what? I'm a performer, I get paid to sing. Ya'll wanna critique my concerts, then those are reviews. But when you comment on my personal life..? Those are just opinions, and guess what? Everyone has them about just about everything."
They still don't get it. Some reporter fires what she probably thinks is the hard-hitting question. I frown as I hear it, because it really worries me. But I'm glad she asks, because its something I need to answer. It's my responsibility, and one I take on gladly.
"Aren't you worried about what impression this will have on your fans? About how this will influence young girls all over the world?"
I nod and answer honestly.
"Yeah I am. And that's not right. So here is my message for all my fans out there, it's the same one I gave about a year ago with the candy corn craze."
I find the camera I'm looking for, the one with the big-name news station on it. I look into the lens and try to impart just with my face how sincere I am.
"Make your own decisions, not mine. And never think they don't have consequences. I'm not here to live your lives for you. Please come enjoy my music, I know I do, and then go and do what you feel is right with your life, and make the choices you think are worth the fallout, and take responsibility. That's what I do, if ya'll really want to mimic my style of living. You've heard it in my song a million times folks, nobody's perfect."
I look around at all the eager reporters.
"I'm a singer, not a saint."
Then I push my way through the crowd and head into the stadium, running on stage waving and smiling. The crowd roars, but its not as loud as usual, because the seats aren't as packed as usual.
I don't mind. All I want to do is sing, and so I do.
I sing from the heart, just as I spoke from the heart earlier. I know my career won't survive this attitude forever, the world is just too naïve to get it. That's okay; I am Hannah through and through now. I am more than my career, and I have enough savings to set me for life.
I'm happy, and I will continue to be happy. Because I'm doing what few others do. I'm being true to myself, and life is good.
I'll drink to that!
*****
So what do you think?
Please, please, PLEASE review!
