A/N: So, this is a Kadaj x Tifa one-shot story. It's my longest one-shot so far! X3 I love Cloud x Tifa, but I've recently taken a liking to Kadaj x Tifa, too. (Thanks xImaginarySoulx. Thanks. XD) This story is actually an expansion of a storyline I had planned for a video, and I hope you enjoy reading it!
"You take the breath right out of me,
And left a hole where my heart should be…"
The sun had recently risen over Midgar Edge, its golden rays bringing light to the darkened streets. Most of the Midgar citizens were still asleep at this time, but Tifa's day had already begun. When she woke, she immediately fell into a routine she'd established since Cloud had left unexpectedly. Quickly she would check on Denzel and Marlene, before heading downstairs to begin setting up the 7th Heaven bar for service.
Always, she would gaze out the window, hoping to glimpse Cloud's Fenrir motorcycle pulling up to the bar. But she never did see it. Tifa missed him. He'd left a few weeks ago without saying why, and since then, though she had called him multiple times, she hadn't been able to reach him. It hurt her that he didn't answer his phone, but there wasn't much she could do but watch and wait for him to return.
Tifa did love Cloud. She'd known him since childhood, and had formed a bond with him that seemed at times to be inseparable. Sometimes, she wondered if Cloud returned her love. Troubling thoughts like this often whirled around in her head. But, for the time being, she repressed them, pushing them to the back of her mind. The bar was busy enough without her thoughts getting in the way.
I wonder if Cloud will ever come back, she found herself wondering one night. For a moment, a great loneliness loomed in her heart. She stepped outside and turned her eyes to the stars, wishing that someone, anyone, could end her solitude.
Huh, she had reflected afterwards, That… was a really childish wish…
… ***…
I will find you, Mother…
This was what ran through Kadaj's mind as he drove through the early-morning streets of Midgar. Just the other day, he had encountered his "Big Brother", Cloud. The Remnant had assumed that Cloud would've had Mother with him, but alas, he did not. His new suspicion was that Shinra was hiding her.
He thinks he's so clever… wait until he finds out that I'm on to him.
And so, Kadaj was searching Midgar for any careless signs as to whether Rufus was hiding Mother or not. So far, the young man hadn't had any luck. He continued searching the rundown city for clues, but eventually he pulled his motorcycle to a stop. When he stepped off of it and looked around him, the silver-haired Remnant found himself in front of a bar.
"7th Heaven…" he murmured to himself, reading the large sign above the door thoughtfully. Might as well go inside… I have to look everywhere if I'm going to find Mother. And so, he walked through the door and into the empty bar. Or, at least he had thought it was empty. Standing behind the counter, drying out mugs with a white rag, was a young woman with straight black hair and beautiful, fair features.
She glanced up when he entered, a surprised expression on her face. "Oh… Hello," she said after a short hesitation. Kadaj's expression didn't shift; his usual scowl remained on his face as he walked farther into the bar. He knew why the girl was surprised; people rarely went to bars this early in the morning. The woman was silent; he felt her chocolate brown eyes following his movement as he slowly walked to the counter.
"Can I help you?"
"… Perhaps."
"What is that suppose to mean?"
Kadaj didn't answer her question. He did not want to reveal that he was searching for Mother, yet he needed information. For a moment, he pondered how he could word his interrogation of the girl. A sudden thought hit him, then.
He recognized her voice.
The Remnant remembered hearing her sweet, melancholic voice whilst observing Cloud; she had left a message on his cell phone. That means she has a connection with him, Kadaj realized. … Meaning that she might know something about Mother. He ran his eyes across her features and frowned. She's pretty, too… It's a shame she'll have to fall just as Big Brother will.
"… Do you know of any… strange… ShinRa activity around these parts?" he asked finally. The woman put down the mug she had been cleaning and frowned.
"Strange? No… as far as I know, ShinRa hasn't been active in a while."
Disappointed, Kadaj glanced away, swearing under his breath. Obviously, she doesn't know anything… He knew for a fact that ShinRa had led an expedition into the Northern Cave; he'd been there. But, apparently, the woman did not know of it. He turned his gaze back to hers.
"I see… well then, it seems you can't help me after all." He turned to leave, but froze when he felt a touch on his shoulder. He turned his head, and his expression must have gotten through to the girl, for she quickly withdrew her hand.
"Um… I've never seen you around here before. What's your name?"
Kadaj was silent for a moment before answering.
"My name is Kadaj."
"Oh… That's a really nice name."
His muscles tensed; he'd never been complimented like that before.
"I'm Tifa. It's nice to meet you, Kadaj."
He huffed and took a few paces forward before adding, "You needn't tell anyone of our meeting. Is that clear?" Tifa hesitated inquiringly before nodding slowly.
"…Sure. That's okay."
"Good."
With that, Kadaj left the bar without another word.
… ***…
After Kadaj left, Tifa gazed at the door, pondering the silver-haired newcomer. His demeanor had been strange, but his appearance… it made her heart flutter. His eyes had an enchanting quality to them that made her wish she could never look away. When she had lightly touched his shoulder, it almost seemed that a spark had passed between them. She couldn't explain it, but her heart longed for his captivating mysteriousness.
But… what about Cloud? she thought suddenly. Tifa could not answer her own question. Confusion began to flood her mind, but she shook it off. I have a bar to run. I can't be worrying about petty things like this!
A few days passed, and Tifa did not see Kadaj, nor did she hear from Cloud. I wonder if Kadaj even had an opinion of me, she thought. From his actions, it had appeared that he did not care for her, but it also seemed that that was his usual way of acting, anyway. As for Cloud… I wonder if he even knows I miss him. It almost seemed that he didn't care anymore, but she didn't know if that was the case or not. I find it hard to believe that he'd suddenly give up on me, she reflected.
Well, whatever they think, it's their own business… I guess I shouldn't worry about it.
But no matter how much she told herself this, Tifa could not get it off her mind.
The next day, the very thing she'd been waiting for happened. Kadaj returned. When she saw him walk in, her expression lightened and she smiled. His face was about the same as when she'd first met him; a scowl still presided over his visage, but this time there was an almost shy and embarrassed spark in his eyes.
"Oh, Kadaj! Nice to have you back."
He grunted in response and took a seat at the counter, his eyes cast downwards. She walked over to him.
"So why are you here today?"
Kadaj looked up for a moment and a brief flush of pink hit his cheeks. His eyes widened and he shook his head vigorously, grumbling and looking away once again. Tifa stifled a laugh, with a bit of difficulty. Maybe he does have feelings for me, she thought. He just doesn't want to admit them!
"I'm… a little thirsty, that's all. I've been… on the road for a while," Kadaj answered in an embarrassed growl. "Alright, then. I'll get you some water… You don't look like much of an alcohol person." He gave her a sideways glance, a questioning gaze in his eyes.
Tifa soon returned with a tall glass of iced water. Kadaj took a few sips from it before putting it aside. Something tells me that the "I'm thirsty" thing was an excuse, Tifa mused, smiling. She glanced at a clock on the wall; her customers wouldn't really start coming for about an hour, so she came out from behind the bar and sat next to Kadaj. Surprised, he looked at her with a sharp intake of breath. He then resumed his ritual of looking away and gazed ahead.
"So, how are you today?" she asked innocently.
"… I'm fine." he answered, rather emotionlessly. After a few moments of silence, he glanced at her from the corner of his eye.
"… How… are you?" His voice was a low grumble, as if he was annoyed at himself for saying it. She laughed a little. He frowned.
"What's so funny?"
"Nothing! It's just… you're blushing again."
He let out an indignant grunt and turned his whole body away from her. She heard him muttering to himself, but couldn't pick up what he was saying. Tifa shifted and assumed a serious composure.
"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you…" She reached out and lightly laid her hand on his shoulder. He twitched at her touch, but didn't move away.
"It's… it's alright…" he replied softly. Tifa hesitated before asking, "Is there anything wrong, Kadaj?" There was a long, uncomfortable silence. Kadaj inhaled and exhaled greatly, then said, "Not really… I'm just… not use to this 'feeling', that's all. I've never experienced it before… and I don't particularly like it…"
Tifa felt warmth bloom in her chest. She smiled. "It's okay… I know it's weird at first. But trust me… you come to like it, after a while…"
Kadaj turned around to look at her. His face had softened; the scowl was gone and a young innocence shone in his deep aqua eyes. Tifa wondered if there had been a wall built up around his soul… and if she had cracked it.
"Maybe that's true… I don't know… I… I've never really been sure of anything, deep inside."
Tifa blushed a little. "You know, you're really cute when you aren't growling at me," she said in a light tone. Kadaj's eyes met hers. "Really…?" The corners of his lips twitched; she could tell he wanted to smile, but perhaps he couldn't. Maybe he hadn't smiled in so long that he had almost forgotten how…
…***…
Kadaj couldn't stand it anymore. What is this? he had wondered after leaving Tifa's bar that day. Is it… is it… 'love'? Never before had he experienced love for anyone, at least not like that. The only love he'd ever had in his life was the unquenchable desire to make Mother happy, to achieve the Reunion and gain her love in return.
And even that, he realized sadly, is a love that remains one-sided…
Though Kadaj had a deep suspicion that Mother would never truly love him, he still pursued her. He often asked himself why. but the only answer he could ever come up with was that if he didn't strive for the Reunion, he would have nothing else to live for.
But, perhaps… perhaps that will not be true for long. Tifa seemed to shine like a ray of hope to him. She was what he could live for, not Mother. He still heard Mother's voice deep within his consciousness. It was a harsh voice, devoid of love; it seemed impossible that her promises of hope to Kadaj could ever be true. However, Tifa's voice was sweet and kind. Kadaj could tell deep within him that if she ever promised him love and a home like Mother had, they would be absolutely true.
But this feeling… this 'love'… is against all that I am. Kadaj had always been cold. He locked away his true emotions beneath a thick shell that he had build up around himself; after all, it was easier to live emotionless… wasn't it? He had settled into the dark abyss, he had accepted it as his life, but Tifa had shattered all of that. It had startled him, the sudden shift in his emotions. Suddenly, he didn't want to be cold anymore. He didn't want to be lost in darkness. He wanted to come into the light, to show his true identity. He wanted to love.
At first he had denied it. He had frowned upon this rising feeling, and had tried to suppress it. But even he could not destroy the longing in his heart. It had led him back to Tifa; if he had denied it, he would've been in pieces for the rest of his life. Though he was trying to convince himself that the love was wrong, that it would distract him from his true goal, Kadaj knew it was not true. This love was what he needed to heal, and deep down, he had realized that.
And so, the Remnant gave in to his heart. He still felt the tugging of Mother's will, and, predominantly, the frightening presence of Sephiroth just beneath his skin, but Tifa was changing that. He continued to meet with her from then on at the bar; sometimes they even went somewhere else. Slowly, old wounds were being healed, and a true hope was being kindled in Kadaj's heart. The false and tainted hope that had vaguely presided before would no longer fuel his actions.
Before he knew it, a month had passed in this manner. Kadaj had nearly abandoned his quest for Mother. He spent every moment he could with Tifa, talking and bonding. For the first time, he was able to openly discuss his fears and inner confusion, things that he kept fiercely hidden beforehand. Tifa inspired him, and she helped him to become the man that Kadaj had always, deep within his core, wished to be. And along with the progression of his healing, so too progressed his love for Tifa. Finally, Kadaj was able to experience happiness.
But sometimes, he wondered…
Is it all too good to be true?
… ***…
Cloud was coming home.
The ex-SOLDIER had left his home not because he no longer cared, but because he believed himself unworthy. Despite all of his endless research, he had been unable to find a cure for the Geostigma that plagued Denzel… and himself. He thought that he could not protect his loved ones, and so he left under a cloud of self doubt.
But now, something had changed. Confidence had begun to once more bloom in his chest, along with a longing to be with the ones he loved. Denzel and Marlene were sorely missed, but above all was Tifa. He had wanted to answer her calls, he truly had. Cloud had listened to every one of her messages. But, he had never been able to build up the courage to encounter her. Lately, the calls had dwindled in number until, a few days ago, they had ceased. He thought that perhaps she, too, had lost hope. His desire to see her again had quickly brought his own hope back, however, and now he was driving Fenrir as fast as he could on his way back to his longtime love.
He was horribly unprepared for what would come to pass.
… ***…
Today is the day. I've got to do this.
Kadaj tried to collect his thoughts as he parked his motorcycle beside the 7th Heaven and dismounted. He had planned, on this day, to confess his love to Tifa. He knew it had to be done, before he settled back into his old ways of dulling his underlying feelings. The Remnant had a feeling that Tifa understood that he felt this way, but he had yet to outwardly say that he had special feelings for her, and today he was about to do so.
He pushed open the door slowly, stepping inside. As usual, Tifa was behind the bar. She had been staring at the door, probably in expectance of his arrival, and when he entered her face broke out into a smile. He weakly smiled back at her; though he was healing bit by bit, he still had trouble smiling.
"Kadaj!" Tifa exclaimed, running out from behind the bar. He walked farther inside and stood in the center of the room, taking deep breaths to calm his fidgety nerves. She joined him and, sensing that he was on edge, frowned.
"Hey, are you okay?"
Kadaj took one last deep, shaky breath before answering.
"Tifa, there's something I have to say… Ever since I saw you, I've felt different. For so long, I had been numb inside, cut off from my emotions, devoid of feeling. But, when I met you… something snapped. I suddenly wanted to feel again. And, the more time I spent with you, the more my emotions emerged from their shell."
Tifa's eyes had widened, and her cheeks had turned a rosy shade of pink. Kadaj shifted a little before continuing.
"I know you've probably been able to tell, and you can probably expect what I'm about to say, but… I love you, Tifa."
A small tear slid from the corner of Tifa's eye, but from her expression, Kadaj could tell that it was one of joy, not sorrow.
"Oh, Kadaj…!"
Tifa suddenly plunged forward and embraced him, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck and resting her head against his shoulder. Shocked, Kadaj was slow to react. Never in all his days had he been hugged before, and it felt… good. A tear slid from his own eye, and he returned the gesture. The two stood like that for what seemed like forever, frozen in a joyful display of love.
Then, Tifa raised her head and gazed up at Kadaj. As they held the gaze, the Remnant let himself get lost in the depths of her eyes. And finally, she put her hand on the back of his head, pulled him close, and kissed him. Ecstasy rushed through him, and he closed his eyes, enjoying the moment.
This bliss that I am experiencing… this is love…
… ***…
When Cloud finally reached the 7th Heaven, shock coursed through him. Parked outside of the bar was a strangely familiar motorcycle. Who else could be here? he wondered. And then, it hit him. The motorcycle before him belonged to Kadaj, the young silver-haired man that had attacked him about a month before. Fear began to set in, not for himself, but for Tifa.
What if he attacked her, too? What if she's in danger? I have to save her!
With a press of a button, the sides of Fenrir panned out, revealing Cloud's sword collection. Fumbling with his haste, he quickly chose two weapons and prepared himself for a fight before running up to the door and thrusting his way in…
… ***…
All good things must end, mustn't they?
Suddenly, a crash shattered the moment between Kadaj and Tifa. Both of them glanced up in confusion, though their embrace did not break. He never would've expected who he saw.
It was Cloud.
His eyes were wild with urgency, and he glanced around. Finally, his eyes rested on Kadaj and Tifa, and horrified shock spread across his face. Tifa gasped.
"C-Cloud…"
"Tifa! What… what are you doing…!"
She parted from the Remnant, her expression pleading.
"Please, Cloud, let me explain!"
The ex-SOLDIER's gaze turned to Kadaj, and shock faded to pure anger.
"What did you do to her!" he growled, his fiery eyes narrowing. The Remnant felt anger stir within himself, as well, anger that had been bottled up and waiting to be unleashed. It startled him how quickly it overtook him.
"Me? I didn't do anything to her! I would never do anything to her!"
"Liar! Why are you here then!" Cloud began to advance toward Kadaj, and Tifa let out a cry.
"No, please, don't hurt him!" He turned on her and growled, "Don't hurt him? What were you two doing? What happened while I was gone!" She began to cry in earnest, and Kadaj stepped between her and Cloud, shoving him back.
"Don't you come near her!" he shouted in rage. The SOLDIER snarled at him.
"I can go near her if I want! I've known her since our childhood!"
"So you want a fight, is that it, Big Brother?"
"Don't call me that!"
"Fine! I'll give you a fight!"
Kadaj elbowed Cloud fiercely in the stomach, sending him stumbling backwards until he bowled over a chair and fell to the floor. The Remnant then ran outside to his motorcycle. He leaped on and started the engine. He knew that he needed a larger space to battle anyway, and he knew just the place. He also knew that, in his rage, Cloud would follow him.
As he drove off, he heard the sound of another engine pursuing him; glancing over his shoulder, he saw that it was indeed Cloud, an infuriated expression contorting his features.
Good. He wants a fight, then he'll get one. No one is about to take Tifa away from me!
… ***…
No, no, this can't be happening! Dismay swept through Tifa's soul as she ran frantically out of the bar, watching as the two motorcycles barreled away into the distance. A tear slipped from her eye; she'd never wanted this to happen. She had wondered how Cloud would react if he returned, but she had hoped that he would've accepted it. Evidently, she had been horribly wrong. Tifa could not understand why he was so quick to anger towards Kadaj… had they met before? She hadn't the slightest idea, but she did have one desperate thought that burned throughout her like a flame:
I have to stop them!
At the rate they were driving, Tifa knew that she would not be able to reach them in time on foot. The girl glanced around, her breath coming in short, choking gasps and her mind whirling in anxious confusion. Suddenly, she heard the growl of an engine coming up from behind her. Whirling towards the noise, she saw a rusty truck making its way down the narrow road, and relief swept through her for an instant. She waved her arms, and the driver stopped the truck in front of her, rolling down the window and peering at her curiously.
"I need you to follow the motorcycles that just left here," she gasped.
"Motorcycles?"
"Yeah! They went off that way," -here she pointed to her right- "Quick, we need to keep up with them! It's urgent! Please, sir!"
Tifa's red eyes and pleading expression must've gotten through to the man, and he swung open the door for her to get inside. Her driver slammed on the gas pedal, and they sped off after Kadaj and Cloud.
Please, she prayed, Please let me get there in time! Don't let it be too late!
… ***…
Kadaj grimaced as he slammed through the large wooden doors of the church. Splintered wood flew in all directions, and he grinned in satisfaction as Cloud grunted behind him; one must've hit him. The church in the slums of Midgar, the one with the flower bed, was where he had chosen to have this battle. He had the strategic advantage here; the Remnant wasn't afraid to crush his opponent with a toppling column. The silver-haired man felt strange compared to how he had the past month. The impending battle had unleashed his anger; it had been all the "old Kadaj" needed to override his true personality. He felt a burning joy at the thought of tearing Cloud apart; truly, it scared him, but he pushed the thought to the back of his mind for the time being.
Cloud revved his engine harder until his motorcycle was beside Kadaj's. The SOLDIER swung his immense sword at Kadaj's neck, but the nimble Remnant ducked, flicking his wrist swiftly and ramming his motorcycle into Cloud's. His opponent was taken by surprise, and spun off to the side. Kadaj laughed darkly, and slammed on the brakes, turning his bike sharply and driving up beside a fallen pillar. Cloud was just beginning to recollect himself, but Kadaj didn't give him the time. He leaped off the speeding bike and landed crouched on the column. The motorcycle spun and swerved, heading right for Cloud. The SOLDIER gasped, flipping off of Fenrir just in time to avoid the impact. The shock from the collision knocked him off balance, and he crashed to the ground, groaning.
Kadaj was lucky to have materia with him; he quickly let it absorb into his skin and then ignited a blue flame in his palm, hurling it at Cloud, who was rapidly trying to get back to his feet. He caught sight of the attack and managed to dodge it, using the time to leap back up and retrieve his sword. Growling, Cloud ran at Kadaj and launched himself at the Remnant. He smirked and ducked under the attack, unsheathing his double-bladed katana and flicking it upwards, slicing a gash in Cloud's calf. He howled, plummeting to the ground again.
Though blood gushed from the deep wound, staining the white flowers crimson, Cloud wasn't going to give up. With some difficulty, he stood again, and made another attack at Kadaj. The silver-haired Remnant prepared another counterattack, but Cloud seemed to have anticipated it. He skidded to a stop right in front of Kadaj and blocked the attack with the screeching clang of metal-on-metal. They struggled for a moment, each trying to push the other back, until Kadaj flipped backwards and jumped up the fallen column again, preparing to attack with the materia for a second time. Cloud narrowed his eyes, tensing his muscles to block the attack.
Just as Kadaj was about to fire another sphere of flame, a desperate voice echoed from the doorway.
"Please, stop!"
The flame dissipated as Kadaj looked up towards the voice. It was Tifa, her face wet from tears. The hate he'd been feeling disintegrated when he saw her sweet form once again, and he softened, caught in the moment.
But Cloud had not noticed Tifa. He had been caught up in his rage; his vision was red, focused on eliminating his enemy. Kadaj saw Tifa glance at Cloud, and gasp. He watched as she darted between them, crying out for the battle's end. Then, time seemed to slow. Kadaj should've seen it coming, but how could he have known that this would happen? Cloud seemed to see right through Tifa; he did not notice her presence. His sword swung through the air, and just like that, it pierced Tifa's chest, cutting her cry short in a terrible gurgling gasp. Just as Cloud pulled the immense sword free, his eyes widened in terror; he had just noticed what he had done.
Tifa crumpled to the floor, blood pooling around her in an endless flow. The sword seemed to have ripped the life right out of her, and she was dead by the time she hit the ground. Cloud stared in frozen horror at her body, unable to react to what had come to pass.
Kadaj, however, was able to react. His eyes widened, and the agonized scream of his heart shattered his eardrums. His breathing quickened and became ragged, and his skin grew cold in terrible horror. Everything else became worthless; his eyes only saw the fallen body of his love, the blood that once held the life of the wonderful girl, the soul that had escaped into the air. His eyes flicked to Cloud, who still gawked at the lifeless body that he had brought down. Though Kadaj knew inside that Cloud had never meant to kill Tifa, that it had all been a terrible accident, he needed to let his sorrow out. He felt that if he didn't he'd explode.
"You killed her! How could you kill her?" he exclaimed in a choking scream. Tears streaming down his cheeks, he conjured an immense flame into his palm. Fixing his eyes on Cloud, he threw the flame at the SOLDIER. He was still in a daze, and never saw it coming. The sphere of flame hit him square in the chest, and the impact threw him backwards into a column. There was a sickening crack as his body slammed into the pillar, and then there was silence as he slumped to the ground, never to move again.
For an agonizing moment, Kadaj just stood there, staring at the two dead bodies before him. Then, he jumped into action, scrambling down to Tifa's side. He kneeled beside her; he could feel the blood soaking his pants, but he didn't care. The Remnant took her into his arms, turning her onto her back gently so that he could gaze into her face. Her eyes were closed, but her face was eerily empty. Her skin was already deathly pale, and as he laid his hand against her cheek, he realized that it no longer held the warmth of life. He gazed at her for a moment, until he just snapped. He buried his face into her body, hugging her close and rocking back and forth on his heels as all his sorrow burst forth in a waterfall of emotion. He sobbed for what seemed like forever, but eventually he stopped. For a long time, he just knelt there, with his face still buried in her blood-soaked clothes, still as a statue.
It wasn't until cold moonlight shone into the church that he stirred again. He raised his head slowly, his eyes red from crying and blood smeared on his face. He ran his fingers numbly through her dark hair. Then, he screwed his eyes shut and screamed. It was a horrible scream, a sound that sent shivers down the spine of all who heard it that night, a scream laced with the pain and suffering of a lifetime. It was an unforgettable scream, and when it finally died out, Kadaj's throat was sore.
I thought… I hoped… that we had forever. But I was so naïve. I laid my whole life upon the hope that I would have you beside me for eternity… How could I have been so blind? That mistake… has been the death of me…
