I'M REALLY SORRY GUYS. I PISSED AT MYSELF TOO. BUT I PROMISE THIS IS ONE OF THE ONLY FICS I WILL EVER WRITE WERE JESS IS DEAD. BUT I JUST THOUGHT FOR ONCE LET ME FACE THE HARSH REALITY THAT PEOPLE DIE. I KNOW DON MUST BE GOING THROUGH HELL WITH SOO MANY THINGS UNSAID AND SOO MANY THINGS LEFT UNDONE. IF YOU HATE ME PLEASE DON'T READ IT BECAUSE I DON'T WANT MY FAITHFUL READERS TO CRY, SERIOUSLY I FEEL LIKE CRYING NOW. I AM A SENTIMENTAL PERSON AT TIMES ALTHOUGH I DON'T REALLY SHOW IT TO PEOPLE.

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN CSI: NY OR THE SONG 'FAR AWAY' BE NICKLEBACK.

Too many regrets.

There were so many regrets in his life. His regrets about being an alcoholic, his regrets about not being able to take care of his sister better and so many others. But his largest regrets being he never got to say how much he loved her.

There he was, one year later. The shadow of the man that he was back when he passionately kissed her outside of Sam's AA meeting. He was curled up in a ball in his bed. With the sheets wrapped tightly around him. Small and scared. Today was the faithful day of May 20th 2010. As other normal people walked around outside, minding their own business, they would probably never know of the life lost on this very day exactly one year ago.

'Life lost' the voice echoed in his empty head. They would never know their story. The tragic tale of two lovers who were deeply in love with each other. But then time ran out and life lived on as hers finished. But they never got to say those magical three words to each other. He pushed his fist into his pillow.

The setting sun's rays swept over him from the window facing his bed, his room which still held the memory of them making love it wasn't just casual sex for either of them it was the point were they fit perfectly into each other's bodies and actually knew each other, his safe haven were he could still imagine she was alive. Detective Don Flack swung his legs over the edge of the bed and set them down on the floor. He pushed himself up and walked towards the window. He watched the outline of New York City glow as they scene illuminated in the color yellow from the sun.

He watched as commuters walked home in the heavy traffic. Men returning to their homes, their wife, their children, their girlfriend and their life.

He ran his hands over his face, feeling his stubble on his handsome face; his blood shot eyes and his wrinkled forehead. Flack did not have any idea how he had survived the last year without her. Without his love, Jessica Angell.

There had been so many times that he had passed out drunk in his own home, when he had held his gun in his hand and contemplated pulling the trigger and ending his miserable life.

But there were people in this world that just wouldn't let him leave. Stubborn people who just would not or could no understand how worthless his life was without her. Nobody needed him anymore. He had found love just to lose it. Maybe he was just destined to be alone.

With all these thoughts running through his head he turned to his laptop and randomly chose a song. As the lyrics started to play he closed his eyes in anguished and once again cursed the world and the people who had taken his partner away from him.

"Don" a quiet almost whisper broke through his thoughts and the low lyrics of the song. He twirled around at the startlingly familiar voice. There she stood, in all her glory the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her chocolate colored waterfall that fell halfway down her back, her deep brown eyes and her perfect body that he had made love to.

"Jess" he whispered as the song started to play. He slowly started to walk towards her, hoping if this was a dream that he would never wake up. He reached out his hand and his fingertips grazed her face as she came closer to him. Her skin was smooth. His hand circled around to the back of her head as he drew closer. She reached up and placed her hand on both sides of his face as their lips grew closer. When they met the anger, the pain and the sorrow in his heart washed away. Her lips were soft and smooth like satin, just like he remembered. Slowly his mouth begged entrance as she complied and the kiss grew more passionate. Don was pouring all of the anger and loneliness he had been feeling. They both fell down on top of each other as they released each other.

"Don't leave" were the first words out of his mouth.

She gave him a sad smile. A smile that already said that was not possible. "Don I'm only here for now. Nothing lasts forever."

"This is one of the only times I will be able to talk to you, to feel you and to touch you" she continued.

"So what this is all in my head?" he asked dreading the answer.

"No" she smiled again "This is real but only for these minutes. But in that short amount of time I'll have to leave again."

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

He drew her close again and kissed her "I'm sorry I made you wait for this, I knew that in our job the first breathe may be the last one we take but I was a coward Jess"

[CHORUS]
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

She shook her head. The suns last rays enveloping her. She looked so damn beautiful "You are everything but a coward."

"No I was Jess, because even when I knew I was too afraid to tell you I love you" he whispered.

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

"Jess, if there was one chance that I would get you back then I would do anything. I'd sell my soul to the devil, I would give up forever and I'd jump of a cliff. If only I could have one last chance with you, one dance, one kiss, one look and one touch" Don continued.

[CHORUS]
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

Jess had tears in her eyes now as she continued to look at him as the sky turned dark "As long as you remember me I'll never be gone."

"I'd never forget you"

[CHORUS]
So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

"No distance can ever separate our love because I will love you until the end of time itself" she said.

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go

"I want you to stay so bad Jess." He told.

"I want to stay to Don but I can't" she said, silent tears making their way down her face.

"Please let me with you stay life is nothing with out you" he begged

"No Don" she fiercely said "Your time will come but right now the team needs you, this city needs you and I need you to continue serving justice for me. When you know that you're going to fall just call on me and I'll catch you. When you think you're not going to be able to make it just hold on to my memory and continue breathing." Then she slowly began to fade "My time has come Don"

"No" he was frantic now; her body on top of his was getting lighter.

"Just remember Don, I'll always be with you"

"I love you" he whispered, tears gathering in his eyes.

"I love you to, always and forever" she whispered, her voice faded as she placed one last soft kiss on his lips as she disappeared.

He continued lying there, looking into the darkness of the room. He did not try to think, he did not try to move, he did not try to reason. All he did was faintly smile drawing to the conclusion that at least one of these days he would be with her but for now the city needed him. He went to sleep in the comforting blanket of her presence knowing that she loved him and what she said was true. She would never truly be gone. Because as long as he remembered her, loved her and cherished her she would always be there beside him.

I ALMOST CRIED WHILE WRITING THIS. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW EVEN IF U HATE ME AFTER I POSTED THIS.