Disclaimers: Transformers © HasTak, IDW. Wirejack © me. "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" © Monty Python 1979, 2004.


Spanish Inquisition

Jason M. Lee


Lines of random data passed by him as he checked the firewalls, reinforcing those set up by the Security teams and repairing others programmed by various computer technicians. All the while including several "surprises" that he had picked up while away from Cybertron. Avatars of his fellow coworkers sent greetings as they zipped along with their tasks, some chuckling at what he had done to the network defenses.

A sudden blip alerted Wirejack to the fringe of the network's domain, that of someone or something trying to get past the "official" barriers. After sending out several warnings to those in the area, as per protocol, Wirejack flew over to the area to check out the intruder while shielding his signature.

Peeking around a cluster of data, Wirejack carefully watched the uninvited user try to slip through the firewalls' cracks first, only to be met with even thicker defenses. When the hacker decided to go for larger chunks, the Autobot computer tech had to stifle a giggle at the intruder's dismayed cursing upon meeting a wall of useless data cobbled together that was acting as a buffer behind the first defense. The third layer encountered was getting a very nice shock that sent him reeling like an overcharged mech who had too much high-grade.

Giving into frustration after the fifty-seventh wall, the unwanted hacker finally went for a full on attack. Avatar versions of his cannons formed and were soon firing away at the many layers of defense, Wirejack all the while temporarily switching several subroutines and slowing the hacker down. Eventually, the uninvited guest finally reached what he assumed were the remaining two walls before the quarter-way point.

Examination on the last one indicated it was what kept most tenacious network infiltration specialists out before the more powerful firewalls, sending a backlash of useless data and coding that could very much overloaded any hacker's processor like an out-of-control data dump. The second-to-last one had lines of coding that he wasn't familiar with. Not giving a damn and wanting to get this ordeal over with, the intruder decided to smash it with a fist.

"ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF DEATH
JUST BEFORE YOU DRAW YOUR TERMINAL BREATH"

x x x x x x x

Scattorshot immediately jerked on his interface-jack with a loud yelp, nearing snapping the cable and overloading his processors on not logging out properly at the same time. "What the slag was THAT?!"

Stifled giggles and snickers filtered through the room, amused glances exchanged with each other for those that knew while the remaining techs had looks of confusion.

"Something I picked up on Earth," Wirejack answered, tagging and logging the session into the archives. "Not a lot of hackers know that sort of material, much less anticipate it, so I figured that it'd be good to add to the defenses."

Jetfire, who had been overseeing the training simulation, laughed loudly at the blue and yellow mech's bewildered stare and patted his subordinate on the shoulder. "Got you there, Scattorshot. Wire's got a point on that as well, and I wasn't expecting that either. Well done, Wire. You have my permission to install in more of those 'surprises' once you've cleared things up with Security."

Applause and cheers rang out, the F-14 ducking his head shyly as his wings twitched at the praise before going back to creating his new subroutines.


A/N: Done for the Allspark April Fic Challenge "Perfect Practice". Takes place in Echowarrior's "Transformers: Armada (Revisited)"-verse.

Think the interface-jack and cable like used in "Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex".

If the disclaimers wasn't clear enough, Wirejack is a TF OC of mine. NO STEALING.