Author's Notes: Written for the third wave of theerosaffair. Thanks and eternal gratitude to Nomango and Jaelle n'ha Gilla for their sharp eyes and lightening-fast beta. If you take a close look, you can find the prompted promise twice in the story. And yes, the weird formatting is completely intentional. :-)

Prompt: Harry to Draco, "I promise to let you do that again."

Comments and concrit are love!

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Of Touches Lost

I refused to take your hand. At school, we were

.

Hunters for the Snitch – our fingers brushed, reaching for the golden ball.

Accio! I heard you scream against the howling wind and crouched deeper over my

Racing broom. Hermione was furious with my risk taking, but

Ron's eyes gleamed when the victory was ours, his

Yearning to step out of my shadow momentarily forgotten. I refused to take your hand. Call it

.

Precaution from a boy who had just found his first friend. In the

Room of Requirement, we met again. We had missed

Other chances to shake hands. Your

Mother had begged for your life, saving mine.

Impossible, you say? She'd never fall that low? I'd say, it's a

Slytherin thing, to humble oneself for the sake of one's own skin. Braveness and

Eternal glory – that's for those who won the war.

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'Temperate' is not the word for what we didn't have. I won't

Obliviate you, because there's nothing to forget but what was not.

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Luxury in the war meant to

Eat in a warm house, surrounded by those I loved. I saw the

Tears in your eyes when Voldemort held court at your table.

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Youth is not an excuse in the wizarding world.

Of course they would accuse me of

Underage magic. Of course they would accuse you,

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Draco Malfoy, of attempted murder. Did you really think it would be

Over, when your side lost? Did you even pick a side?

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They came looking for you, while your family sat huddled in a corner of the Great Hall at

Hogwarts. As everybody knows from 'Hogwarts: A History'

Apparating inside the castle is not possible. Neither is Disapparating. Another family

Torn apart in the wakes of the war. For me there were

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Always the Weasleys. Ron was my first friend, so

Ginny had to be my first real love. There was

Always Ginny to take care of, to make love to. I was

Infected with you, but I

Never saw you as someone to touch. The

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Dementors were banned from Azkaban. You were still on the

Run from the Ministry. I read the papers. I still wanted to become an

Auror. There's always darkness lurking in the corners. Even though now, all's said to be well.

Could you stretch out your hand again, I would take it. I mourn what has never been.

Our sons live. I promise not to tell any lies to mine.

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I remember. You once offered your hand in need.

I promise to let you do that again. You once offered your hand in friendship.

I promise to do better than last time. You offered a greeting to us all at the train.

I promise not to let our children down. Should you offer your hand again, I would take it.

I promise, but I can't tell you.

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